Coping with dad in the hospital

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Fitnessgirl0913
Fitnessgirl0913 Posts: 481 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
So this past weekend my world was turned upside down. My dad who has always been the healthiest strongest guy I know was hospitalized with Acute Myleoid Leukemia (AML). He is currently in a cancer center and will be there for AT LEAST 30, possibly longer. Today he will start a straight 7 day course of chemo then it will be recovery, possibly more chemo, more recovery, and a bone marrow transplant. Luckily the hospital is local and so am I, so I have been trying to help out my mom a lot while she is at the hospital with him most of the time. I am also trying to work as much as I can and I have a job that is very understanding of the situation but I will be applying for paid family leave in case it is needed. My sister lives about an hour away so she will be coming up every weekend and taking days here and there as needed as well. My husband has also been AMAZING through all of this, he is a wonderful support to me and my family.

I am also trying to do some meal prep for myself and my mom, so if anyone has some good nutrient dense recipes with balanced macros that I can cook up it big batches that would be wonderful! Bonus points for 1 pot meals. I have already done a stuffed green pepper casserole and a lentil and vegetable dish. I am not really concerned about calories right now, just want to make sure the food is nutritious and has balanced macros.

I also find that I do not realize I am hungry until I physically feel like I am going to fall over. At that point I end up eating a lot, but I don't really care right now. I would like to keep snacks with me but my dad is very sensitive to smells right so we have been avoiding eating anything in his room, even if it just crackers. Which also makes things harder because I have to go elsewhere to buy food or eat what I brought and I want to spend as much time with him as possible since I am only going after work at this point. Not to mention I want to be there if a doctor comes in with any news or updated.

I am not even sure what the point of this post is to be honest, I just feel like if I didn't write all of this out I would explode.

If anyone has gone through or had a family member go through AML I would appreciate talking with you a bit. It is apparently very rare and serious. There is a support group for family members and caregivers of people with cancer in general at the hospital that I will go to at some point.

If you have managed to read this novel-like post until the end thank you. Even if you can just post your favorite joke that would be nice.

Replies

  • snowflake954
    snowflake954 Posts: 8,400 Member
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    Sorry you're going through this. I have no experience, but wish you and your family the best. I think it would be a good idea to join a support group ASAP. They will be able to give you tips on getting through this.
  • youngmomtaz
    youngmomtaz Posts: 1,075 Member
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    Having had multiple friends and family in hospital I can see where you are right now. My suggestion: your brain is assigning you many things to do right now, don’t over do! Pick your important things and do those, there is lots that can wait. Healthy snacks and meals are great, I found most fruit and veg like carrot sticks and cucumbers were not offensive to those who smell really bothered, just be careful of any dips you may pack with the veg. also cheddar or mozzarella cheese sticks are pretty inoffensive.

    Huge hugs to you, try to sleep enough, drink your water, and make sure all of your health needs are looked after too. It is a huge stress on people who are ill to be worrying about their loved ones. Remember, you can’t take care of him if you are not looked after as well.
  • Crafty_camper123
    Crafty_camper123 Posts: 1,440 Member
    edited May 2019
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    *Hugs*
    It's really hard when a loved one is in the hospital. Just try to take care of yourself too. This way you can be ever more present for your dad, and he won't be worried about your well being too.

    Can you do crock pot meals? Go for dump & go type recipies that you can toss into the pot in the morning and turn on. Dinner's ready as soon as you get home. You can then eat really fast and get to the hospital that much sooner. Otherwise- maybe snacks you can eat in the car on the way there or back. Like crackers, or granola bars, heck even sandwiches. .
    Sheet-pan meals. Like sheet pan chicken stir fry, or some meat and reasted veggies. If everything is cut into small pieces, they can be cooked in about 20 minutes.
    Grilled meat & veggies- can also be done in 20-ish minutes.
    Dump casseroles (kinds you can just dump stuff in and bake).

    You could also slow cook a large amount of meat such as chicken and use it in various things throughout the week. This you save a lot of cooking time since the protien is already cooked.

    I'm not sure about AML, but I was there with my mom when she had breast cancer. It's very stressful, escpecially in the early stages. As everything seems to be a game of hurry up and wait. Wait to tests to come back. Wait for treatment to kick in. Wait for more tests. Wait for surgeries. Wait & worry. Hang in there. :heart:

    If you need some funnies go to chit-chat and check out the wholesome meme's thread. :smile:
  • tinkerbellang83
    tinkerbellang83 Posts: 9,131 Member
    edited May 2019
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    Sorry to hear what you and your family are going through, can't offer much else but I do have some quite tasty nutrient dense easy meals - Most of the hot ones can be done in the slow cooker/crockpot but they could also be done over low heat in a pan.
    • Thai Green Chicken Curry - 2 Tins Reduced Fat Coconut Milk, Thai Green Curry Paste 4 Chicken Breasts chopped up and whatever veg you like I normally throw in a bag of mixed greens (cabbage/leek) and some sugar snap peas and sweetcorn. In slow cooker it's about 5 hours, in pan you could probably do it 2-3 hours (less if you pan fry the chicken first and then add it.) Makes 4-6 portions
    • Beef or Chicken Strogonoff - Fried Red Onion, Mushroom & 500g Browned Cubed Beef or Chicken, add a pint or so beef stock and slow cook, when nearly ready to serve stir in some creme fraiche serve with rice/veg for a balanced meal. Makes 3-portions
    • Easy Chicken & Mushroom casserole - 2 tins of Cream of Mushroom soup, frozen peas, mushrooms, 4 chicken breasts and rice to own portion tastes. Slow cook and add the rice for the last 2 hours adding extra water if needed. Makes 4-6 portions.
    • Any Chilli Con Carne recipe
    • Sausage & Lentil Casserole
    • Lasagna with extra veggies
    • Tuna & Mozzarella pasta salad - normally I just throw in cucumber, tomatoes, a tin of tuna with some mayo and a little chilli powder, pasta, shredded mozzarella and some salad leaves.

    Most of these can be frozen so if you can prep ahead on the days where you might be busy with other stuff or stressed out at least you can have a few options you can pop in the microwave and reheat with some veggies or salad.

    Perhaps and I would rarely suggest these ghastly things, but if you're struggling to remember to eat perhaps Meal Replacement Shakes to make sure you're not getting to the point where you're going to fall over - you can't help support your Dad or your Mum if you're not looking after yourself.
  • Fitnessgirl0913
    Fitnessgirl0913 Posts: 481 Member
    edited May 2019
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    Thank you for your replies everyone, I really appreciate it. I will definitely be trying out some of your recipes and ideas. I am pretty confident I eat enough when I actually do eat, it just all happens in 1 or 2 large intakes. For example, yesterday I ate an entire pizza by myself in one sitting. Those are some of the reasons I want to meal prep nice nutritious meals so I can eat more easily throughout the day instead of inhaling 3,000 calories in 1 sitting and so I do not keep eating entire pizzas. I am trying to focus on nutrition and eating enough right now, if I eat over maintenance a few days I really don't care. Meal prepping will also be more cost effective at this point.

    ETA I am making sure my health is good too, I am getting enough sleep and drinking water so I can support both my parents.

    I also cannot do meal replacement shakes. I don't mind the powder ones you mix yourself but the problem is having somewhere to refrigerate it if it is premixed and if I just bring the powder it won't get mixed up. I cannot do the premixed ones, I ave tried a few brands over the years and whatever they mix it with makes it taste like *kitten* to me. For example, I can drink the GNC leanshake powder but the premade GNC leansahkes make me want to hurl. Same with several other brands.
  • 150poundsofme
    150poundsofme Posts: 523 Member
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    Big hugs to you and your Dad
  • josette06
    josette06 Posts: 119 Member
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    My coworkers father had AML at 67. He also had a bad heart, it was a tough 6 months but he pulled through and is in remission. He was not the picture of health, either. I won't sugarcoat it, but it has a high rate of coming back sans bone marrow transplant. I hope everything works out for your father, especially since he has taken care of his health. ❤
  • Fitnessgirl0913
    Fitnessgirl0913 Posts: 481 Member
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    josette06 wrote: »
    My coworkers father had AML at 67. He also had a bad heart, it was a tough 6 months but he pulled through and is in remission. He was not the picture of health, either. I won't sugarcoat it, but it has a high rate of coming back sans bone marrow transplant. I hope everything works out for your father, especially since he has taken care of his health. ❤

    @josette06 Thank you very much for your post, it is nice to that your coworkers father went into remission, my dad is around the same age (62). I have heard it has a high rate of returning but I am not really sure what factos come into play there. Do you mind if I ask if your coworkers father had a bone marrow transplant after he received treatment? I know they want to do one for my dad. They tested his heart yesterday and said everything looked good and it was strong. He is also enrolled in a clinical trial so hopefully that will add some extra treatment.
  • apullum
    apullum Posts: 4,838 Member
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    My mother in law developed AML as a result of breast cancer treatment. I’m happy to chat.
  • The_Aly_Wei
    The_Aly_Wei Posts: 844 Member
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    I can not relate directly as i have only had treatment for (H) lymphoma...but i do understand the fear and the feeling of life being nothing less than dizzying. It is so wonderful your father has a family like you guys that are helpful, and caring.

    As far as meals? I would ALWAYS have some sort of soup in a crockpot- lean proteins, veggies, cream broths if you would like. Plus, you can pack them FULL of nutrient and they are filling. Not much prep and not much mindfulness needed when cooking. Grab some snacks! Keep them bland. Keep them in your purse and in a sealed bag. Maybe if you aren't getting hungry naturally at the moment make a snack time...at a certain time a day you just eat a small snack of something to keep your body doing whether you really are hungry or not? Take two minutes, walk out of the room, scarf a handful of plain almonds down. It is just that moment to care for yourself...which seems like a lot...but, it just makes you more able to care for others.

    I hope your family and father nothing but comfort in the coming days <3
  • josette06
    josette06 Posts: 119 Member
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    Fitnessgirl0913 wrote: »
    josette06 wrote: »
    My coworkers father had AML at 67. He also had a bad heart, it was a tough 6 months but he pulled through and is in remission. He was not the picture of health, either. I won't sugarcoat it, but it has a high rate of coming back sans bone marrow transplant. I hope everything works out for your father, especially since he has taken care of his health. ❤

    @josette06 Thank you very much for your post, it is nice to that your coworkers father went into remission, my dad is around the same age (62). I have heard it has a high rate of returning but I am not really sure what factos come into play there. Do you mind if I ask if your coworkers father had a bone marrow transplant after he received treatment? I know they want to do one for my dad. They tested his heart yesterday and said everything looked good and it was strong. He is also enrolled in a clinical trial so hopefully that will add some extra treatment.

    He did not have a bone marrow transplant- only because due to not being healthy to start - his body wouldn't have handled it well and it may have killed him. It has been a year and he is still cancer free. It is strong chemo, there will be good days and bad. He said his dads personality changed since it all occurred, he is quieter and doesn't joke around as much but it may have also been because of how many times he came close to death.

    He just came back from San Antonio to see the Alamo which was on his bucket list. I guess the experience opens your eyes to how short life truly is

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