5 mths PP giving up, depressed about weight and body

rdkdm7
rdkdm7 Posts: 34 Member
edited December 21 in Motivation and Support
Hello everyone.
I used to be very fit, 135 pds.
I had a baby, topped out around 200pds.
Was weighing in at 180 six weeks after.
No biggie. Felt pretty positive, lost about 20 pds.
Now 5 mths PP have pretty much lost nothing for two months.
It seems counting calories and steps and excercise and weighing myself became futile and instead of motivating made me more deppressed and unmotivated untill I gave up.
I gave up and stopped worrying about it. Ate pb and jelly sanwiches, crackers and desserts once in a while.
Weight stayed the same. Didn't gain or lose.
Tried to reattempt the weight loss efforts, motivation becomes zero. Weigh self. Still the same. Doesn't matter if I do well or not.
Eating enough calories, right foods, protien, getting excersice seems to not matter.
Should I drive myself crazy or accept that this is my new body at 160 and learn to love myself fatness and all and buy some new clothes to fit my body.
I must admit I had another baby about 16 years ago and no matter what I did the weight would not come off untill I got fed up practically starved myself and worked a demanding 10 hr. a day physical job. Plus took accelerants. Weight continued to stay off for six or seven years even going back to normal once it was off.
Maybe I should buy accellerants, work out a ton and eat nothing but eggs, tuna fish and protein shakes?

Replies

  • psychod787
    psychod787 Posts: 4,099 Member
    rdkdm7 wrote: »
    Hello everyone.
    I used to be very fit, 135 pds.
    I had a baby, topped out around 200pds.
    Was weighing in at 180 six weeks after.
    No biggie. Felt pretty positive, lost about 20 pds.
    Now 5 mths PP have pretty much lost nothing for two months.
    It seems counting calories and steps and excercise and weighing myself became futile and instead of motivating made me more deppressed and unmotivated untill I gave up.
    I gave up and stopped worrying about it. Ate pb and jelly sanwiches, crackers and desserts once in a while.
    Weight stayed the same. Didn't gain or lose.
    Tried to reattempt the weight loss efforts, motivation becomes zero. Weigh self. Still the same. Doesn't matter if I do well or not.
    Eating enough calories, right foods, protien, getting excersice seems to not matter.
    Should I drive myself crazy or accept that this is my new body at 160 and learn to love myself fatness and all and buy some new clothes to fit my body.
    I must admit I had another baby about 16 years ago and no matter what I did the weight would not come off untill I got fed up practically starved myself and worked a demanding 10 hr. a day physical job. Plus took accelerants. Weight continued to stay off for six or seven years even going back to normal once it was off.
    Maybe I should buy accellerants, work out a ton and eat nothing but eggs, tuna fish and protein shakes?

    Sounds horrid..... even I have a lower reward diet, but tuna, eggs, and shakes? I am coming to the idea of "ideal" weight vs "best" weight. As far as losing more... the $64000 question is.... what is it worth to YOU?
  • rdkdm7
    rdkdm7 Posts: 34 Member
    Part of me is glad that at least I only weigh 160 and not 180. Plenty of people are struggling with alot more.
    I alternate between. Meh.. days were I accept it, and then I get days were I look at myself and am kind of discusted with my body, and try to motivate myself. But your right I think my body likes 160 and to get it back to what it was will be pretty near impossible.
    I used to love and look forward to running hitt at the gym but now that my body is jiggly it is uncomfortable and I don't find it fun or rewarding. I just walk now for the sake of getting out and getting some fresh air. If I treat walking as a weight loss tool then I get sick of it too and dont want to do it.
  • steveko89
    steveko89 Posts: 2,223 Member
    You mention counting calories but were you tracking/weighing your portions? That makes a huge difference. As long as you're truly in a deficit you should be able to lose without resorting to the extremes you described.
  • psychod787
    psychod787 Posts: 4,099 Member
    I lost a monkey ton of weight very quickly. Got LEAN. Maintained it for months. Hungry the whole time. I recently discovered the Human OS project. Dr. Pardi and Stephan Guyenet. Might look it up. I have decided to let my mind and body find a more comfortable weight. For me SOME
    regain is worth it to me. Just a thought.
  • rdkdm7
    rdkdm7 Posts: 34 Member
    No PP deppression here. Honestly, weight and lifestyle is tied to my self esteem, motivation and always has been. Being outside and being really active has always made me a happy camper.
    I just got to kick myself there or just meh... accept for now and try not to obsess and hopefully over time I might get there again?
    antideppresents do not help, make me fatter thus more of the same, and feel weird and not connected to my body, see flashes... feel like a zombie...
    I'm not bfding.
    I am pretty happy other than the weight issue, that interferring with my excersise motivation.
    I used to do karate, lifting as well as hitt.
    I will try some of these suggestions. In the comments section from other users.

    At this point, I would feel happier just to get down to 150.
    Baby is a very happy little guy and I would just like to be the very athletic awsome mom for him that I used to be. Right now we enjoy walking. I do try to walk for an hr a day.

    I will mention that I have a very hard time with motivation at night. I could plan out meals, eat good breakfasts, eat well through the day, and then nightime comes, I am relaxing and... that is where I set myself up for faluire.
    But like I said if I fail or don't I twnd to weigh the same now anyway. But I really hate the nightime eating thing that I cant find the motivation to kick either.

  • psychod787
    psychod787 Posts: 4,099 Member
    rdkdm7 wrote: »
    No PP deppression here. Honestly, weight and lifestyle is tied to my self esteem, motivation and always has been. Being outside and being really active has always made me a happy camper.
    I just got to kick myself there or just meh... accept for now and try not to obsess and hopefully over time I might get there again?
    antideppresents do not help, make me fatter thus more of the same, and feel weird and not connected to my body, see flashes... feel like a zombie...
    I'm not bfding.
    I am pretty happy other than the weight issue, that interferring with my excersise motivation.
    I used to do karate, lifting as well as hitt.
    I will try some of these suggestions. In the comments section from other users.

    At this point, I would feel happier just to get down to 150.
    Baby is a very happy little guy and I would just like to be the very athletic awsome mom for him that I used to be. Right now we enjoy walking. I do try to walk for an hr a day.

    I will mention that I have a very hard time with motivation at night. I could plan out meals, eat good breakfasts, eat well through the day, and then nightime comes, I am relaxing and... that is where I set myself up for faluire.
    But like I said if I fail or don't I twnd to weigh the same now anyway. But I really hate the nightime eating thing that I cant find the motivation to kick either.

    Rules and boundaries help me. Allowing the OCCASIONAL indulges on holidays. Not keeping certain things in my home. Keeping my diet 95% whole minimal processed, less calorie dense foods.. Won't eat after a certain time. Places I won't go when its meal time. Meal schedules. Ect...
    If you are wanting people to TELL you what to do.... not trying to be an *kitten* hole, find a GURU. Guru's will TELL you what to do. They never say, "maybe", " I dont know" ect. They say words like: "always", "only" ect. Most people who have been here for a while dont TELL you what to do, they suggest and give ideas. I THINK we all have our own paths to walk. Best wishes
  • rdkdm7
    rdkdm7 Posts: 34 Member
    Your right discipline is where it is at. I've got to make a desicion to just let it go within reason and moderation and expect less, or really buckle down. I really have got to stop the nightime eating. The small nightime indulgence, if allowed, in my case w entually becomes more than that. So a rule of no eating after a certain time might be needed to jumpstart everything else. A guru is a good idea.
  • kimny72
    kimny72 Posts: 16,011 Member
    rdkdm7 wrote: »
    No PP deppression here. Honestly, weight and lifestyle is tied to my self esteem, motivation and always has been. Being outside and being really active has always made me a happy camper.
    I just got to kick myself there or just meh... accept for now and try not to obsess and hopefully over time I might get there again?
    antideppresents do not help, make me fatter thus more of the same, and feel weird and not connected to my body, see flashes... feel like a zombie...
    I'm not bfding.
    I am pretty happy other than the weight issue, that interferring with my excersise motivation.
    I used to do karate, lifting as well as hitt.
    I will try some of these suggestions. In the comments section from other users.

    At this point, I would feel happier just to get down to 150.
    Baby is a very happy little guy and I would just like to be the very athletic awsome mom for him that I used to be. Right now we enjoy walking. I do try to walk for an hr a day.

    I will mention that I have a very hard time with motivation at night. I could plan out meals, eat good breakfasts, eat well through the day, and then nightime comes, I am relaxing and... that is where I set myself up for faluire.
    But like I said if I fail or don't I twnd to weigh the same now anyway. But I really hate the nightime eating thing that I cant find the motivation to kick either.

    I tend to save calories (anywhere from 100-300) for a nighttime snack. I weigh it out, log it, then eat it. Then the kitchen is closed. If I start to think about eating something else, I get up and brush my teeth. Doesn't happen or work all the time, but helps a lot. If you can't get motivated to work out, maybe just forget about that for now, do a little something whenever you get the itch, and just focus on your eating for the time being. Focus on getting control over that. If you can get that headed in the right direction, it might help get you ready to get back to being active too. Hang in there!
  • rdkdm7
    rdkdm7 Posts: 34 Member
    I might add that calorie counting did work at first but after the inital weight loss it made me obsess about food more and I found myself thinking about food too much. Which stinks because I was pretty excited that it worked
  • psychod787
    psychod787 Posts: 4,099 Member
    Imho discipline is over rated. Habit IMHO is the key for this N=1. For ME personally having a routine is what helps. Falling back to discipline in case of obstacles. If you dont like calorie counting, then DON'T. Find something you enjoy. Dr. Mike Israetel says something I like....
    Inspiration is fleeting. Only good for a few minutes. Motivation last a little longer. Determination draws on will power, which ow finite.... Habits are what get *kitten* done. Then passion. When you cant see your day complete without something. Best of luck on your road.
  • rdkdm7
    rdkdm7 Posts: 34 Member
    Thank you for all the hasty replies. I am going to make better habits, try some new things, and also try to be thankful that I did lose 20 pds, so if I keep being steady, should over time see some improvements. I am hoping to lose ten pds in two mths. I plan on NOT getting on the scale untill I can see and feel a diffrence. Thinking the lousy scale is a demotivater in my case. I'm thinking ten pds in two months is doable. If I get there, Im going to try to maintain that before trying to lose more.
  • magnusthenerd
    magnusthenerd Posts: 1,207 Member
    rdkdm7 wrote: »
    Your right discipline is where it is at. I've got to make a desicion to just let it go within reason and moderation and expect less, or really buckle down. I really have got to stop the nightime eating. The small nightime indulgence, if allowed, in my case w entually becomes more than that. So a rule of no eating after a certain time might be needed to jumpstart everything else. A guru is a good idea.

    Is there some kind of event around the nighttime eating? A lot of people start snacking while watching shows. If there is a particular habit that goes hand-in-hand with the indulgence, consider changing the habit for just a week or two. That could help you uncouple the two.
  • snd4000
    snd4000 Posts: 6 Member
    If you are working out to build muscle, that muscle is going to weigh more than the fat it replaces so your scale will go up a bit before it goes down. When I started training I threw away my scale for the first 4 months. It kept me from going crazy. Also, remember that if you are breast feeding you are still eating for two. Give yourself time and just focus on healthy habits right now.... (and enjoy that baby!!!)
  • bigdipperdave
    bigdipperdave Posts: 16 Member
    Hang in there. My daughter had her first baby almost 8 months ago and she is still struggling with weight, exercise and all the other issues. Its a huge change for you, totally different sleep patterns, responsibilites and so much more to juggle. Don't beat yourself up, take it one day at a time and re-set the next day.
  • cmsavells
    cmsavells Posts: 257 Member
    It sounds like you are headed in the right direction with healthy eating and exercise. You may want to try smaller meals with healthy, high protein snacks in between. One other suggestion, get your thyroid checked! Pregnancy can cause the thyroid to do weird things. It may give you peace of mind just to find out!

    Connie in KY
  • whmscll
    whmscll Posts: 2,255 Member
    snd4000 wrote: »
    If you are working out to build muscle, that muscle is going to weigh more than the fat it replaces so your scale will go up a bit before it goes down. When I started training I threw away my scale for the first 4 months. It kept me from going crazy. Also, remember that if you are breast feeding you are still eating for two. Give yourself time and just focus on healthy habits right now.... (and enjoy that baby!!!)

    The first part about muscle and fat is not correct. Building muscle is tremendously difficult and usually requires consistently lifting weights for at least several months to see even small gains, especially in women. Also, muscle does not “replace” fat. The two functions - losing fat and building muscle - happen separately. Lastly, muscle does not weigh more than fat (1 pound of muscle and 1 pound of fat both weigh 1 pound). Muscle is more dense than fat, though, so fat takes up more space than muscle at any given weight.

  • o0kody0o
    o0kody0o Posts: 642 Member
    Hi

    I am 6 months PP and was too scared to step on the scales as I knew I had gained a lot of weight. I was around 165lbs pre-pregnancy and in February I decided to finally weigh myself...I was 184lbs at 3 months PP! That number on the scales, and how I felt about myself, gave me the kick up the *kitten* I needed. My confidence was gone and I knew I needed to lose weight not only for myself but for my son. I want to be a good role model for him and I want to be able to run around with him.

    I’ve went from 184lbs to 150lbs since February. There were times when I wasn’t losing weight, no matter how good I ate or how much extra exercise I put in but I finally broke through that some how. I’m now around 3lbs away from my goal (but I might change that once I get there). I just wanted to tell you to be kind to yourself and persevere. Our bodies have just done something amazing and they need time to heal and adjust. The weight loss will come, just try not be too hard on yourself 😊 Feel free to add me as a friend! My diary is open to friends and I log daily. Hang in there 🤗
  • EmbeeKay
    EmbeeKay Posts: 249 Member
    You’re only five months postpartum. I’ve been there 4x. Inconsistent sleep, inconsistent routine, and feeling uncomfortable in your body. I totally understand. Losing the weight takes TIME and CONSISTENCY and PATIENCE. You see these instant transformation posts everywhere and they’re just not really realistic. I will say it again: time, consistency, patience. NOT extremes. There’s no room for ‘extreme’ here. Set a small, sustainable deficit. Get outside and walk with your baby in the beautiful weather. Enjoy all the foods you love in moderation and track your food. Nighttime snacking is absolutely killer. Find a way to handle it so that you can stay within your calorie goal. For some people, that’s budgeting a snack, but for me, one snack never helps (I want to eat everything) so after dinner it’s just brush and floss my teeth and tough love, you’re done. You don’t have to be extreme. Small, sustainable steps and consistency will give you the results you want. Also, it’s OK to be happy with not being 135. Hugs.
  • rdkdm7
    rdkdm7 Posts: 34 Member
    Number one problem... nightime snaking... It's a mental thing. I really want to beat it. I'll be good for a few days, then I just give up. It doesn't help we are saving for a house, and the kitchen is literally at the moment, three feet away from the bed... I'm pretty sure if I could defeat this, the weight would come off. At this point I would be extremly happy to just lose a little bit at a time and feel good about getting control over the snacking. I do awsome all day!!! With no hunger pains, or obsessive thoughts of snacks I can easily eat right! Even if other people are eating pancakes, sausages and big meals... Its so crazy that its that one thing.
  • rdkdm7
    rdkdm7 Posts: 34 Member
    I'm going to try the teeth brushibg thing tonight.
  • HermanLily
    HermanLily Posts: 217 Member
    Believe me when I say, once that baby gets moving, your weight will not be an issue any more. Enjoy the little one for now, stress will get you no where. You have the rest of your life to worry about it. I promise the weight will take care of itself.
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