General people phobia

julianpoutram
julianpoutram Posts: 331 Member
edited October 1 in Health and Weight Loss
Ok so i realise that the only way for me in my current situation to loase any wait is for me to join a gym. There is one quite close actually. However I have a real issue with being in public as it is. I wear a coat anywhere in public to make me feel more covered up. Its so irrational but bullies and what not have taken there toll and generally made me feel like i am an eyesore to anyone and everyone that i walk past on a daily basis. With this kind of a problem how on earth do i pluck up the courage to join a gym and wear just a tshirt and shorts or whatever? I just feel like everyone in the gym would be laughing at me :(

Its so stupid i know but i just dont know how to get it out of my head! I would be petrified to go into the gym! :'(

Replies

  • Jorra
    Jorra Posts: 3,338 Member
    Why does the gym have to be your only option? Just wondering.

    You have to realize that if you're just going about your normal business and not being disrupting to anyone else, no one will even notice you. Everyone is at the gym for themselves, not to pay attention to others.
  • kimluvsel
    kimluvsel Posts: 8
    I do not agree, I think there are plenty of ways for you to continue to loose weight, and even get plenty of physical activity, without joining a gym. You could buy some work out DVDs, BeachBody has several that they sell that are highly effective. You could buy some at home gym equipment. Just some thoughts, best of luck.
  • kwest_4_fitness
    kwest_4_fitness Posts: 819 Member
    I'm the same way. You realize people really don't stare at you, but your brain can't conceptualize it. Is there any way you can work out at home or at a friend's house? I bought a couple small pieces of equipment so that I could forgo the gym.
  • megz4987
    megz4987 Posts: 1,008 Member
    Mhm. I was diagnosed with social anxiety.
    When I walk anywhere, if I see anyone I apologize to them [in my head]. However, I can't allow my fears to overcome me and force me to be a hermit. I have to live my life. I have anxiety every day all day, medication or not, but I keep going.

    You just have to do it and know it won't kill you to get out and quite literally, block everyone out of your mind. No one's there but you.
  • TankGirl71
    TankGirl71 Posts: 241 Member
    I'd venture a guess that most of the people in the gym are thinking the same exact thing you are! The first week is weird, but you'll be fine once you get into a groove. Baseball hat, iPod, head down until the butterflies go away.
  • Izable2011
    Izable2011 Posts: 755 Member
    Anyone who would laugh at someone for being at the gym is ridiculous. They would be the person with the problem. Not YOU!!!! I know that it is easier said than done.. but ignore what others have to say about you. I have the same problem. I have a lot of anxiety with people in general and a lot of it is due to my weight. Don't let it get to you. Get out to the gym or exercise at home for now. :happy:
  • hozik
    hozik Posts: 369 Member
    Just go for it! The only behavior you have control of is your own. Sure, some jerks may laugh or tease, but you may be surprised by how many at the gym just ignore you or even offer encouragement and support. I was terrified to join a gym, but it quickly became a highlight of my day. Good luck!
  • walkdmc
    walkdmc Posts: 529 Member
    I know what you mean about bullies and jerks taking their toll on you and you have my sympathy.

    But what's with the coat? Unless the weather dictates you wear a coat, you probably stand out more than you want by wearing a coat. Do you have a good friend with decent taste in clothes? Go shopping and pick out some cute clothes for goodness sakes. I would start walking or working out with a friend, build up some confidence, then join a gym. I'd like to say "just do it" but it sounds like your issues are debilitating and I'd hate for you to go into a gym and be insulted by some tool. You might never go back, KWIM? I'd also look into therapy to deal with the ghosts of your past.
  • peddlepusher
    peddlepusher Posts: 26
    I have an exercise bike and a treadmill. I bought both for very little money at a thrift store.
  • DeviantDarkwolf2
    DeviantDarkwolf2 Posts: 363 Member
    Do not feel like you have to join a gym, losing weight can be done at home. I can't afford to go to the gym as membership is really not on the table with two kids at home. But there are other options available, sandbags, weights, jump rope, or even a bike ride walk or run. I would suggest to you that not only should you be looking at working on what you see on the outside you need to work with what is on the inside as well to become the person you want to be. Learning to love ourselves is a big problem for a lot of us but once you do it then you can offer so much more not only to yourself but to others. The more confident you become with yourself the easier meeting and greeting will become for you.
  • thirtyandthriving
    thirtyandthriving Posts: 613 Member
    I don't have time to go to the gym so I use a work out DVD. I've been using Jullian's 30 day shred. It really works. Plus I go on walks whenever I have the chance. Maybe these things can work for you too. I only had to purchase 1 set of weights and the DVD. Cheaper than a gym membership.
  • mwoods5716
    mwoods5716 Posts: 194 Member
    Its cool, I'm starting to be the same way. I don't like going out of town to visit friends or family I haven't seen in a long time because I know I'll dissapoint them with they way I look. I look forward to Fall every year so I can throw on the baggy sweater n jeans to cover up more of my body. But, when I see an overweight person walking or attempting to jog down the street I never think bad of them, I get jealous wishing I could be that strong.

    So, I'm done. 3 weeks ago I joined the local YMCA and I've been going five times a week. I think that you and I are a lot alike, we judge ourselves much harsher than anyone else ever would. And, I have found nothing but encouragement at the gym, it seems like everyone has gone out of their way to make me feel more comfortable because they realize its hard for me. I know that if I can do it you can too. If you're not ready for the gym, then start out small, drive to a park or bike path where you can be comfortable for a few weeks.

    Any time you need help you can reach out to me.
  • julianpoutram
    julianpoutram Posts: 331 Member
    Thanks everyone. I know that i just have to come to terms with my own problems. I hope I will get somewhere with it in the end. I'm only 19 and still live at parents house. Planning to move out asap. I think then I will have the time and space to do this in a place I feel comfortable. As for the whole coat thing, it just makes me feel safe I deep down know it might make me look more ridiculous than to start with but it just makes me feel protected i guess. Also about the clothing. I am failry good at picking out nice clothes, it's fitting into them that is the problem... I really am not that fat either but when you go into a shop like h&m and nothing fits except maybe one or two things it doesnt really make you want to shop :'(
  • walkdmc
    walkdmc Posts: 529 Member
    Thanks everyone. I know that i just have to come to terms with my own problems. I hope I will get somewhere with it in the end. I'm only 19 and still live at parents house. Planning to move out asap. I think then I will have the time and space to do this in a place I feel comfortable. As for the whole coat thing, it just makes me feel safe I deep down know it might make me look more ridiculous than to start with but it just makes me feel protected i guess. Also about the clothing. I am failry good at picking out nice clothes, it's fitting into them that is the problem... I really am not that fat either but when you go into a shop like h&m and nothing fits except maybe one or two things it doesnt really make you want to shop :'(

    Oh jeez, I'm much older than you so I have a different perspective. I didn't realize you were so young! You're at a very transitional stage in life and things will change a lot (for the better in my case). I would still look into talking to a therapist. The sooner you can deal with the issues that make you feel safe in an unseasonal coat, the better off you'll be.

    If that's you in the photo, you're adorable!
  • TankGirl71
    TankGirl71 Posts: 241 Member
    By the way, your hair is friggin' AWESOME.
  • julianpoutram
    julianpoutram Posts: 331 Member
    Aww you guys are all so nice! I wish I could hug you all ^_^
    And yes that is a photo of my actual face haha
  • shannonkk
    shannonkk Posts: 192 Member
    I went through this in high school because i was thicker than the size zero girls, i wasnt even fat, i was a size 8 and taller. I never ate at school or in public and i worked out a lot. I spoke very soft so they wouldnt here me and make pig noises, they also put cellulite brochures in my locker. As i got older i realised they were just insecure jerks who didnt have great parenting and they are all in rehab now, lol, or still losers. I now have a daughter who like you, wore a winter coat in 100 degree weather, someone called her ugly in grade school. She is very beautiful, she looks like kim kardashian, but she doesn't see that in the mirror, she focuses only on what she thinks are flaws, she doesnt hang out with friends and it breaks my heart. She has gotten better, she wears sweatshirts now and i let her aa long as they are cute, she is trying to go in stores alone and she almost tried out for sports, she went in to sign up, but we are going to try again in spring. I think what is working for her, is doing like i did, take a deep breath and just do it, if someone looks at you, maybe they want to be a friend or maybe they are looking at something else, but dont let life pass you by, there are so many more good people in the world than there are jerks. Now, having said all that, i will not go to gym but i have a treadmill at home and before that i used to jog in place or wlk at night.
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