Hello...

Hello,

I'm new to Fitness Pal, despite being a member since 2014 I've never actually used it. That's right, it's taken me 5 years from registering to actually using it!!

I am at my biggest weight and size EVER. I've done the cliche yo-yo diets for many years, my weight has gone up and down but I've never been happy. I'm an emotional eater (don't know why), and I've used that as an excuse for many years now for my weight gain. My mental health is not amazing, it's toyed with me for many years and as a result I've become such an introvert, almost a shadow of my true self. I feel like I've lost my identity, or purposes! I'm not sure what my true personality actually is and I've completely lost myself and let myself go.

I focus very much on the 'glass half empty' side of life and I'm fed up. Having just had a little boy a few months ago, it really pains me to know I cannot run and play with him in a park due to joint pain and weak muscles; I'm so unfit. I hate knowing I will get out of breath even walking around a shopping centre with him, or walking whilst he plays on a bike. I want to be a better mum - I want to be able to play and have fun, and roll around with him. He deserves the best years from me and I need to improve my health by loosing weight and getting more mobile in order to give them to him.

It's no longer about a dress size, or number on scales - it's about how I feel; what I can do with my body and what version of myself I'm giving to my son.

I am going to find this hard. It's going to be a journey, most likely a long one. I have restrictions with my mobility that mean I can't just start pounding a treadmill or gym class. I'm sure I will have many days where I feel like I've failed, or where I give up. I need to do this, regardless of how long it takes, I need to get my life back for me and my boy.