Laxative dependancy and eating disorder?

Before anyone calls me out and tells me to see a doctor I have an appointment on the 17th I’m just looking for general advice as i get anxiety and nervous about doctors.
I made this account to post this as I’m to embarrassed to post on the account that has images of myself and my close friends.
Anyway recently I have been having a lot of problems with my bowels I think I have been having these problems for ages but only recently as I have started my nurse course realised that the symptoms I have been having are abnormal and became more aware of them. I don’t have bowel movements for weeks I get severely bloated to the point sometimes I feel like I can’t even breath and like my chest is closing my stomach is rock hard and some times I’m even psychicallys sick from being so bloated. I began googling my symptoms and found a thread about laxative abuse and that’s when I started to
Think back and realised that I have been taking laxatives almost everyday for 3 years. I can’t remember why I started taking them but I get really excited to take them and I have a diary in which I jot down all the days I’m not at work so I can take laxatives and I even cancel plans to take them. I get so excited when I have a bowel movement because I know I’m going to be thinner after. I take Them before I have an event or if I know I want to wear a certain outfit. I also binge eat and tell my self it’s ok because the laxatives will fix it. However the laxatives also give me bad effects such as severe diarreah stomach cramps and I’m constantly bleeding and have piles and prolapse. When people ask why I take them I don’t know why but I lie and say I’m prescribed them. I think I may have developed an eating disorder and not realised and actaully convinced myself that I needed them for bowel movements and now I think I may have given myself a lazy bowel that no longer functions. Sorry it’s long just wondering if others think this is a possibility or to give other reasons for what could be happening. I’m to embarrassed to speak or family or friends. I know eating disorder things arnt allowed but I’m not promoting anything I’m just asking.thankyou


  • liaoverbrook
    liaoverbrook Posts: 108 Member
    Do not give up until you receive suitable help that you feel is befitting you, some doctors do not understand the severity but you will find one who will.

    Speak to your parents/a friend and share this burden, they might not understand either but you will have someone to open up too

    What helped me recover was I thought of myself in the future and what a future me could have wanted. Children, a career, a happy life that I would be content with but I would never have that unless I got better. The choices made now would affect future me and I didn't want to be responsible for taking away an option that future me might want.

    You are loved, and here you will be safe and supported.

    Take care of yourself in these next few weeks and beyond, recognizing your issue is a huge part of the battle and it is something you should be very proud of yourself for
  • sefajane1
    sefajane1 Posts: 322 Member
    @c_rebecks99, how did you get on at your doctor's appointment? 💐
  • sammidelvecchio
    sammidelvecchio Posts: 791 Member
    Yes, laxatives are very common as a form of abuse in the eating disorder world. A lot of times it takes years to realize the damage we've done to our bodies with them, which makes it "easy" to think we aren't doing any harm for a long time (that's my ED talking). I hope your doctor can help, but please also stay open to seeing a therapist for the mental aspect of this disease. You don't have to tell anyone if you are embarrassed about it. Though eventually with therapy a lot of people become less embarrassed and more open and accepting when you find out its mostly other trauma surfacing in a bizarre way.

    Anyways, I hope you kept your appt and were heard and listened to. Best of luck in your recovery.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,742 Member
    I hope you went to the doctor but if you didn't, please do. Either the same one or another. A good gastroenterologist should listen and help you with the physical part of this. Feel confident that you are going to be "fixable" especially considering some people abuse laxatives for decades. My mother did this and still struggles, however she was given some powerful prescription drugs that helped work out some problems without surgery. She was very skeptical that the drugs would work but it did and has helped her get to a better place with more conservative use of laxatives and mixing harsher laxatives in with natural remedies. She didn't think that was possible for like 30 years but finally in her late 60s is becoming "regular" and her weight has actually gone down slightly rather than up as she feared it may. They may also suggest counseling for the psychological portion of things which sounds like a good idea too. I have not had these struggles personally but I understand fear of doctors. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and go. You do not want a miserable unhealthy life.