Lose weight & self image is lower !?!???

Justin741 · August 2011

Has anyone else experienced a lower sense of self image as they got closer to their goal weight? I have had an increased sense of self image & confidence for the majority of this journey. However, now that I am about 25lbs from my goal weight it seems the last few weeks that image/confidence is lower.

I think the reason is because I feel like I've gone so far and people are making all sorts of positive comments but I look in the mirror and I see the excess weight that needs to go. I think I see that weight and are a little discouraged because it is still there despite the progress I've made!

I think this is a weird phenomenon I'm experiencing. Has any else experienced/-ing this?

ninerbuff · August 2011

Has anyone else experienced a lower sense of self image as they got closer to their goal weight? I have had an increased sense of self image & confidence for the majority of this journey. However, now that I am about 25lbs from my goal weight it seems the last few weeks that image/confidence is lower.

I think the reason is because I feel like I've gone so far and people are making all sorts of positive comments but I look in the mirror and I see the excess weight that needs to go. I think I see that weight and are a little discouraged because it is still there despite the progress I've made!

I think this is a weird phenomenon I'm experiencing. Has any else experienced/-ing this?

Nope. Expectations not being met can do that. But prospective view is different than how others view you.

Kelly_Wilson1990 · August 2011

I feel better and better about myself.

anubis609 · August 2011

No. I see more of my penis. Confident and strong. Then I feel that way too.

slp2112 · August 2011

I don't think this is weird at all. I feel the same way when someone tells me I look so different and all I can think is, yeah, but I still have xx lbs I want to lose and I still can't run a 9 min/mile at the end of a triathlon. Or other things that I haven't perfected yet.

That said, you have lost a RIDICULOUS amount of weight. RIDICULOUS. Most people would dream about being able to drop that much weight. Also, it's nice to focus on mini goals to avoid the constant "what am I not yet good at or what do I still need to do" mentality. Finish a tough workout, lift heavier weights, do more reps of something, do a roadrace/tri. I find that at least distracts me from mentally beating myself up ...

starwhisperer · August 2011

Give yourself a break, it could just be a passing thing. I know when I am stressed, or down, or tired or grumpy then everything follows that mood trend. So maybe you just need to take a deep breath focus on what you know is a great accomplishment thus far, and wait it out.

cskalaj · August 2011

You know, it's interesting...years ago, my sister went from 230 pounds to a healthy ~140 and throughout the journey, she became happier and more positive, but after she met her goal, she became very cynical and treated people who were nice to her as if they were only doing it because she had lost the weight. She made comments to me all the time like, "That person wouldn't have given me the time of day when I was big, so I'm not giving them the time of day now!" She ended up being as unhappy thin as she was when she was bigger. The reason is that she never learned to love herself. She didn't lose the weight for herself, she lost it for the acceptance of others. Now, about 15 years later, she's back to being overweight (not as overweight as she once was) and has followed patterns in her life that scream out her lack of self-worth (including a verbally abusive relationship where she lets her boyfriend walk all over her). Please...anyone reading this...try to love yourself! I know it's not always easy, but you'll be happier which will make the people around you happier which will make you even MORE happy...and it will be a GOOD "vicious cycle"

Also, you have to remember to live your life as you are because once you've accomplished your goal, you don't want to be left with that feeling of "What now?" Start trying to find things besides weight loss to define who you are.

oyvonnee · August 2011

You sound really normal to me! I can tell you what I experienced and I hope it helps. I lost 50 pounds a few years ago and expected my body to look quite a bit different than it really did. I was just a smaller version (much healthier) of me, complete with skin that wasn't as tight any more, a tummy that pooched due to a major surgery followed by having 2 children and other imperfections.

I was very happy with my weight loss but I still didn't think the naked version of me was good enough - but I remember feeling that way when I was 16 and everything was still really "perky" so I think the majority of us are never quite happy with that version. :laugh:

Since then I had another major unexpected surgery and weight gain and am now back on the road (with a lot of prayer and grace) to losing the weight again. Having faced the possibility of losing my life, I am content with me, flaws and all. There are things I cannot change. I focus on the things I can.

If someone is not happy with me with my scars and pooches than they are looking in the wrong place. Look at my heart and if you find it flawed, then we have something material to discuss.

What do you see when you look at your heart? If it's a great heart in a slimmer but imperfect body - then you are a spectacular man. Hold your head up high. Be proud. God is very proud of you! I am sure you have achieved this because of His strength and grace.

Yvonne :flowerforyou:

Rosie_66 · August 2011

I had similar feelings/questions in my post:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/315774-fear-of-weight-loss

Having been through it, I think your feelings will turn around...give yourself some time. :flowerforyou:

mgmlap · August 2011

I think its a scary thing getting close to your goal weight..and as the other posters have stated..we have lost weight..but we still dont see what we have accomplished..rather we see what we havent accomplished.

I think as you get into maintenance mode...and see all you have done..looking back..you will feel wonderful

Misiaxcore · August 2011

My self-esteem is lower now than when I first started losing weight =[ It went up when I lost 10lbs for a bit, but then I hit my plateau and that mentally messed me up. Even now after losing more, my self-esteem is lower than when I was a teenager :huh:

MinnieInMaine · August 2011

Somewhat... I remember being pretty comfortable in my skin when I was heavier for many years but as I got closer to my highest weight (and shortly after decided that it was time to make a change), I realized that wasn't true anymore. I started getting very self conscious and dreaded going to see friends/family because I was ashamed. I have to stop and remind myself of that every once in a while and realize that I'm much better off with the changes/progress I've made so far and I should be proud of my accomplishments.

The toughest part for me is accepting compliments graciously without adding my own pity party (yeah, but I still need to lose x amount of pounds). No one wants to hear that, they just want you to be happy that they noticed! So now I just smile and say "thank you" and shut off that negative voice in my head.

ETA - not sure what you're doing on the fitness end but maybe start doing more strength training or mix it up a bit so you can see the differences in your body more? For me, sometimes focusing on new fitness goals or challenges can take my mind of that number on the scale. Or dig up some old before pictures to remind yourself of how far you've come?

Lose weight & self image is lower !?!???

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