How do you effectively manage your depression & anxiety?
SaraJ429
Posts: 50 Member
Since I (30F) was in my teens, I have struggled with terrible anxiety and depression. It started in high school, got much worse in college and carried through into my young adulthood. It is particularly bad in the hottest months of summer (like right now) and around the holidays. Something about humidity and extreme cold seems to exaggerate my symptoms somehow.
I have tried EVERYTHING to manage my symptoms. I am frankly almost at a loss of what to do at this point to help myself. I have tried prescription medications (multiple), talk therapy with multiple therapists, herbal supplements, tea, changed my diet, exercise (including cardio and yoga), meditation, avoiding caffeine and alcohol, get enough sleep, read books, partake in hobbies, journal, socialize etc. I continue to do all these things (besides talk therapy & prescription meds). Pretty much everything doctors and well meaning friends have advised me to do. I have read every book & magazine article under the sun. These things do help to an extent but not for long term relief.
I have built a great life for myself – I have (some) financial freedom, great support system, friends, independence, health, travel – so it’s not really outside stressors that are causing me distress. Do I wish some things about my life were different? Sure. But I’m not sitting around crying about it.
I think a lot of my anxiety/depression is tied to working a desk job. It makes me feel trapped and I have trouble concentrating on the more tedious aspects of my job. I feel unmotivated and antsy sitting at my desk all day, counting down the minutes to 5 p.m. when I can finally feel some relief. I do try walking outside on my lunch hour and taking frequent breaks. This helps a bit. I also get to travel from time to time which also helps.
Anyone else face a similar struggle? Any tips that help you manage your symptoms and get some peace of mind?
I have tried EVERYTHING to manage my symptoms. I am frankly almost at a loss of what to do at this point to help myself. I have tried prescription medications (multiple), talk therapy with multiple therapists, herbal supplements, tea, changed my diet, exercise (including cardio and yoga), meditation, avoiding caffeine and alcohol, get enough sleep, read books, partake in hobbies, journal, socialize etc. I continue to do all these things (besides talk therapy & prescription meds). Pretty much everything doctors and well meaning friends have advised me to do. I have read every book & magazine article under the sun. These things do help to an extent but not for long term relief.
I have built a great life for myself – I have (some) financial freedom, great support system, friends, independence, health, travel – so it’s not really outside stressors that are causing me distress. Do I wish some things about my life were different? Sure. But I’m not sitting around crying about it.
I think a lot of my anxiety/depression is tied to working a desk job. It makes me feel trapped and I have trouble concentrating on the more tedious aspects of my job. I feel unmotivated and antsy sitting at my desk all day, counting down the minutes to 5 p.m. when I can finally feel some relief. I do try walking outside on my lunch hour and taking frequent breaks. This helps a bit. I also get to travel from time to time which also helps.
Anyone else face a similar struggle? Any tips that help you manage your symptoms and get some peace of mind?
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Replies
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I like to listen to audiobooks (breaks and lunch). It helps me relax during my work day.0
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hopelessdreamer12 wrote: »I like to listen to audiobooks (breaks and lunch). It helps me relax during my work day.
I recently started to do that! Helps a lot0 -
I'm sorry you're going through this. I've always struggled with depression and I've seen countless therapists over the years. The trick is to find one you like, and who you think is genuinely a good fit for you. It sounds like you've seen a fair few of counselors, but maybe you should keep trying them to find one you trust and who you think might be able to make a difference. Finding the right therapist (and the right medication, which is a trial and error thing too) could be the key.
For me, exercise really did help, so I'm very sorry it didn't do the same for you. I don't workout strenuously, just walking, bike riding (leisurely pace), and kayaking (basically floating). I think it's the being outside more than the exercise for me, but getting my heart rate up a bit probably doesn't hurt.
I've also found some relief by hanging out with animals. I spend time at my parents' house with their two pups and to feed their friendly squirrel family, and my cat, Ernie, has snuggled up during some of my darker hours. For me, pets help a lot.6 -
I have been experiencing severe depression and anxiety since I lost my husband to ALS a year ago.
I've tried many supplements but one that has helped me stabilize my mood is ASHWAGANDHA. My two dogs have also been tremendous sources of support for me. ❤
I have to say that taking the steps to take control of my health by joining MFP has been a mood booster, too.8 -
A lot of therapy, specifically a lot of therapy with a therapist who I have good chemistry with and who uses a modality that works for me. There are countless different ways of doing therapy out there which is a good thing because not every way will work for every person. A large chunk of the therapy that I've had over the years hasn't been useful to me at all (and in some cases it was detrimental), that said my current therapist (who I've been seeing for 6+ years) is a really good fit for me.
Medication is a no go (and not for lack of trying), exercise doesn't do anything to better my mental health, mindfulness is a non-starter with regards to my depression and anxiety, etc.
My depression isn't so much "better" so much as I can do things now. I still have quite a lot of suicidal ideation, hopelessness, and so on. The difference is that I can get stuff done, go to school, and hang out with friends, as opposed to not being able to get out of bed.4 -
therapy and swimming. lots of swimming. water comforts me. best of luck to you.2
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I have had Major Depressive Disorder since I was a kid; 44 now. I now use a low dose of medication, and am fortunate to be one of those for whom exercise helps tremendously. I found a program that I enjoy (lifting) several years ago, and was able to decrease my dose of meds shortly after.
Two additional things that do help me are: working with animals, which I'm fortunate to do in my morning job. And getting some sunshine. We added a pool a few years ago and being outside, even under a shade, has a noticeable effect on my general mood.
I'm sorry you're dealing with this. It took me a long time to find what works for me. Keep trying things, talking to therapists, asking questions. I hope it gets better for you.4 -
Drugs manage my anxiety, more or less.
My Team Me helps manage my depression. Team Me includes my husband, family, friends, and even the supportive people around here who are willing to prop me up when I'm falling down. People I can count on to have my back and look out for me.
But there's no cure. Just ease of symptoms. And working a desk job is pretty crushing to me too, I feel ya there. I get some relief sometimes from sensory deprivation. When I have the funds, I go lay in space for a while and imagine myself as just a consciousness with no body, floating in a void.
Then I go home and cuddle under my 20 pound weighted blanket because both no sensation, and the feeling of being pressed down on, are very soothing to me for whatever reason.3 -
My cat helps, and horses. But other than that, I have found ways to keep my mind off things, or find more positive behaviors to engage in while my mind is still racing or sad depending on the day but few things significantly help. I am currently looking into getting a therapy dog.
Best of luck and lots of hugs.2 -
sammidelvecchio wrote: »My cat helps, and horses. But other than that, I have found ways to keep my mind off things, or find more positive behaviors to engage in while my mind is still racing or sad depending on the day but nothing that significantly helps. I am currently looking into getting a therapy dog.
Best of luck and lots of hugs.
What helps you redirect your focus and mind?0 -
@Salemss1 puzzles, reading, cooking, napping, coloring. I do usually get distracted several times by my thoughts, but it is a lot different than hours with a racing mind. Walking outside has worked wonders for me. While I still battle with my mind on most walks, I can also see wildlife, there are other people around, I see a lot of dogs (smile), can listen to music, and putting a lot of energy into just being present and enjoying my surroundings seems to have made a big difference for me. I have also found a lot of podcasts I like to listen to while walking because its like I'm having a conversation with someone and keeps me focused on whatever the topic of the day is.
Of course there are nights I sit on my balcony with a glass of wine and just cry. But with my current therapist I am learning how to view this as therapeutic and a release of sadness, anger, emotion, etc and in turn hope it surfaces less often as nightmares, paranoia, etc. We'll see how that goes2 -
I take Sertraline. I have also had to learn to recognize my triggers and effectively survive through the ones I can't avoid. I increasingly rebalance my priorities so that things I enjoy and that are good for my mental health often make the cut over more the of the "typical" tasks. It means my house is a little dirtier because I may choose to wait an extra week to dust furniture so I can read more, but I also don't let it slide into actually gross or unsanitary. The kitchen has become a huge trigger for my anxiety. As long as the dirty dishes are cleaned right away and the counters tidy, the rest of the house can be chaos with dog and toddler toys everywhere.1
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@Salemss1 I will also mention I made a huge lifestyle change last year. I quit my job. It was one of the best decisions I ever made and I haven't looked back since.3
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It sounds very tough.. but it's good to hear you're managing in everyday life.
I've not had it as long as you and mine was brought on by stress and burnout. From my experience, and I know how it sounds, but magnesium citrate and vit b complex have helped greatly with getting relief for everyday anxiety.
When I get panic attacks (brought on by nothing in particular at whatever hour) then I go for a walk by the river. That walk is usually 15-20km long tho. I usually joke around that I have to tire myself like a dog so I don't jump out of my own skin. Sometimes I just listen to the sounds of the river, sometimes I put a podcast on. But in a nutshell, for anxiety, just getting the "bad" energy out as much as possible. Not only when I get panic attacks but most days (just not as long, maybe 8-10km) as I feel it building up inside when I stop walking for a couple of days.
I'm also trying to meditate but I don't see myself continuing with that. I'll give it a chance for a while tho.
I've managed to mostly get off the pills through this but obv I am able to at the moment as I have some more free time now. Not sure what it will be like when I get back to full time work.
You've said that you've tried a lot of things but I hope you find that one things that makes it easier.
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sammidelvecchio wrote: »@Salemss1 I will also mention I made a huge lifestyle change last year. I quit my job. It was one of the best decisions I ever made and I haven't looked back since.
Good for you! Changing jobs was by far the best thing I have done for my mental health.2 -
I have dealt with depression for 30 or more years. In 2017, it got so bad that I was very seriously contemplating suicide. So much so that I told myself that for one year I would do whatever my psychiatrist recommended and if nothing worked I would be done. For several months we tried different medicines but all of them had terrible side effects (Prozac made me sleep 16 hours a day...including a couple of hours at work, Trintellix made me horribly angry to the point that I was looking for a reason to fight with anyone and everyone, Latuda made me more suicidal and took away my appetite so that I couldn't eat anything, etc.) Finally, she suggested that I get my testosterone checked. Turns out it was low. As of January 2018, with testosterone shots my depression is gone. Some anxiety remains but that is helped by taking Sertraline (Zoloft). Admittedly, I am a man but I have read several websites that mention women naturally have some testosterone and if it is low it may cause depression. I recommend that you get your testosterone checked (it is a simple blood test) and maybe your other hormones. Especially, if you are medication resistant (i.e. medication has bad effects or doesn't work at all). A simple blood test made all the difference for me so I recommend anyone with depression get their testosterone checked. If nothing else it will rule out at least one cause.6
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I have suffered from anxiety and depression for many years. Since I started eating healthy and exercising it has drastically improved, especially running and yoga. Of course my dog and cat also play a positive part in my mental health.1
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You describe a lot of the symptoms of adhd - trouble concentrating, feeling trapped, tedium, feeling antsy, unmotivated. Adhd brains find it hard to focus on something they're not interested in. Freq breaks help because they provide a dopamine burst. Read 'driven to distraction' by Hallowell to see if it fits you. Anxiety/depression are common co-morbidities. ADHD can manifest in a quiet way that teachers and docs miss. The impulsivity can be impulsivity of thought not necessarily your body. Follow @erynnbrook and @danidonovan on Twitter if you want better descs of what it can look and feel like.2
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Okay, I'm going to vaguely mention products in the course of this response. I am not trying to sell these products to you. I just literally cannot tell this story without mentioning them. I relate to your story enough that I can neither not respond nor can I leave out a part of my own recovery. Ugh, please no one report me since I don't know how else to do this, and I like it here.
I had really crippling depression and anxiety, into early this year. I was picking holes into my own skin, obsessively. I couldn't sleep. My thoughts were dark. My mother-in-law passed away, and the only way I could travel with my husband -- my face full of scabs -- was with prescription drugs, and I still couldn't attend family events.
I own a business, and couldn't function there. I wept in my medical provider's office. My husband believed I wouldn't be around much longer, and I believed that too. I mean, if it all ends in death, and the world is getting worse, what's the point? You can see I would have been fun at parties of anyone could have forced me to attend a party.
I kept thinking if I knew a way to rise out of this mess -- where people would tell me to stop picking at myself when I didn't realize I was -- I would, but I couldn't figure it out.
Antidepressants kicked in enough to get me out of bed. And one of my employees mentioned products she was taking. Gut health, blood sugar regulation... Those helped. I continue to take them.
I'm not saying they fixed everything, but they got me to a place where I could function, and make better choices for myself. They were my path, I'm not saying they have to be yours, or that my reasons why are yours. What I am suggesting is that some of your issue could be gut health related, and that at least looking at dietary changes involving prebiotics, probiotics, and trying to limit sugar might get you to a place where your symptoms reduce enough so that you can keep making positive changes. I say dietary because your path could be through the produce aisle. There is no version of this where you don't have to put in effort, and no version of this where you can only succeed by mimicking me.
I drink an ocean of water every day, I go to ridiculous lengths to get a good night sleep, I set healthy boundaries with people, and I sometimes go on ahead and put myself first. I take my dogs for tons of walks, which always makes me happier, and yet we don't always to the things that make us happier, do we?
I am in a much different place now, a place I doubted only a short while ago I would reach. I have trouble imagining how my thoughts got so dark, and yet I am careful to not go back there. People are freaked out, including diners at my restaurant, at the changes in me. My anxiety, while not gone, is reduced into what is probably a normal range. I still have prescription anxiety meds I haven't touched in months. My antidepressant is at a low dose. I gave away my, um, brownies. I effortlessly make small talk. Sometimes I realize I'm smiling.
A friend of ours asked my husband what it was like getting his wife back, and he cried. Sure he would love me sharing that! The nurse practitioner I see is floored.
I guess the most important thing to take away from this is to cling to the idea what it can get better, even if you don't quite know how yet. If you keep taking care of yourself, it's harder for the darkness to get a hold of you, because every positive step down fairly consistently is a rebuke of the thoughts that want to pull you down.
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sammidelvecchio wrote: »@Salemss1 puzzles, reading, cooking, napping, coloring. I do usually get distracted several times by my thoughts, but it is a lot different than hours with a racing mind. Walking outside has worked wonders for me. While I still battle with my mind on most walks, I can also see wildlife, there are other people around, I see a lot of dogs (smile), can listen to music, and putting a lot of energy into just being present and enjoying my surroundings seems to have made a big difference for me. I have also found a lot of podcasts I like to listen to while walking because its like I'm having a conversation with someone and keeps me focused on whatever the topic of the day is.
Of course there are nights I sit on my balcony with a glass of wine and just cry. But with my current therapist I am learning how to view this as therapeutic and a release of sadness, anger, emotion, etc and in turn hope it surfaces less often as nightmares, paranoia, etc. We'll see how that goes
Yes! So much of this, including coloring. Especially getting out in nature. Although, the place where I live is a frozen tundra more months than not. LOL!
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CBT-based therapies. I did talk therapy, and while it was nice to hash things out I didn't find it gave me anything productive. I completed a 14-week program for my anxiety and it helped a ton, the psychiatrist gave me a lot of tools and strategies that I can actually use and have been using. Now I'm doing a 14-week group CBT therapy for depression, only a couple sessions into it but so far I got more out of it than talking to someone. The activities suggested are great if you can do them, sometimes that can be really hard with depression messing with your mind.3
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I have friends who swear by CBD oil. Says like 3 drops a day did better than any prescription anxiety medicines they ever took. Not for me, but maybe you could check it out.2
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I feel your pain. I've been dealing with depression (Diagnosed) for about 15 years and it's a horrible, horrible daily battle. Most days are good but even with meds and exercise I still have bad days. I take Welbutrin every day but by far, for me, the best "drug" is exercise. 95% of my exercise is outside so that I benefit from both the exercise and the sun. Fortunately for me, I get a true "high" from exercise to the point that I'm super amped up for a couple of hours after exercising. I too work a desk job and while it may just be my opinion, or what works for me but I feel that it's absolutely essential to get outside as much as possible to absorb some natural vitamin D from the sun. Another issue that drives my depression is my sleep patterns. For years I've had issues with sleep and on normal nights I'm lucky to get 3-4 hours of uninterrupted sleep and usually no more than 5-6 total hours at best. I wish I knew how to fix this but it seems to be my cross to bear.2
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CBD oil helps with anxiety and depression immensely. I use CBD oil every day and it's helped a lot. I also do meditation whenever I can.0
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medication. it took years to find the right one but so far this one is working.
i have not found diet or exercise helps but i do feel overall(not just mood) better if i eat a well balanced diet.
my dogs help. aerial yoga helps. because it's easy to track accomplishments even if i'm not great at it.
nature helps me find a sense of peace.
i tried therapy and i don't know how much i liked it. but i have very supportive friends
i found one of the big things is to have supportive, nonenergy draining people in my life.
i work in an office and it can be hard. but it's a means to an end and that makes it bearable2 -
A lot of the things you can try to help yourself cope better will be down to personal preferences. I can only speak for some of the things that helped me and as cliche as it may sound, one of those things is working out. Gym time is my time, it's a mental break from everything. Team sports (for me, football) is another thing that helped. I also used to read a ton of fiction books (epic fantasy novels) that took me away from everything in the real world for a bit. All of these things were there for respite. As well as that, the basics such as removing (some) social media, not overindulging on TV and cleaning up my eating habits helped massively. Sleep is also so so crucial and probably the hardest thing to resolve.3
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i found one of the big things is to have supportive, nonenergy draining people in my life.
This is important. I have also started setting more boundaries, and ending relationships over the last 3 years. I also deleted facebook entirely and am very selective about the pages I follow on Instagram.3 -
Exercise!! I have found that working up a good sweat, getting my blood flowing, challenging my body and mind with new types of workouts (boxing, yoga, running, calisthenics.....) works wonders. Followed by a nice, invigorating cool shower - I am ready to face anything - with rosy cheeks to boot!! This is just my own experience and opinion - I am not a doctor0
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I have been fighting depression all my life and anxiety since my 40's. I never sought help until the anxiety started and have been on medication for 17 years. It took a long time to find the right one but I am on the best for me.
Other than the obvious (medication, therapy) the main thing I have found to be helpful is to learn to recognize the beginning of the spiral and take steps to stop right there. The steps will be very individual and may be something your therapist can help you find. For me, a short term isolation from people where I can accomplish something helps. This may be hiding out for a weekend and sewing or crocheting something, taking an overnight trip someplace where I can tour some attraction or museum, or spending the weekend baking something to give away. I typically come out of my annual winter SAD funk by planning my garden and even starting some seeds indoors. I do best when I have something to look forward to and plan for. I also do well when I see something beautiful (museum collections, nature, my garden).
At my worst, the only thing that kept me going is the knowledge that my cats need me.5 -
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