How do you effectively manage your depression & anxiety?

SaraJ429
SaraJ429 Posts: 50 Member
edited June 2019 in Motivation and Support
Since I (30F) was in my teens, I have struggled with terrible anxiety and depression. It started in high school, got much worse in college and carried through into my young adulthood. It is particularly bad in the hottest months of summer (like right now) and around the holidays. Something about humidity and extreme cold seems to exaggerate my symptoms somehow.

I have tried EVERYTHING to manage my symptoms. I am frankly almost at a loss of what to do at this point to help myself. I have tried prescription medications (multiple), talk therapy with multiple therapists, herbal supplements, tea, changed my diet, exercise (including cardio and yoga), meditation, avoiding caffeine and alcohol, get enough sleep, read books, partake in hobbies, journal, socialize etc. I continue to do all these things (besides talk therapy & prescription meds). Pretty much everything doctors and well meaning friends have advised me to do. I have read every book & magazine article under the sun. These things do help to an extent but not for long term relief.

I have built a great life for myself – I have (some) financial freedom, great support system, friends, independence, health, travel – so it’s not really outside stressors that are causing me distress. Do I wish some things about my life were different? Sure. But I’m not sitting around crying about it.

I think a lot of my anxiety/depression is tied to working a desk job. It makes me feel trapped and I have trouble concentrating on the more tedious aspects of my job. I feel unmotivated and antsy sitting at my desk all day, counting down the minutes to 5 p.m. when I can finally feel some relief. I do try walking outside on my lunch hour and taking frequent breaks. This helps a bit. I also get to travel from time to time which also helps.

Anyone else face a similar struggle? Any tips that help you manage your symptoms and get some peace of mind?
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Replies

  • hopelessdreamer12
    hopelessdreamer12 Posts: 19 Member
    I like to listen to audiobooks (breaks and lunch). It helps me relax during my work day.
  • SaraJ429
    SaraJ429 Posts: 50 Member
    I like to listen to audiobooks (breaks and lunch). It helps me relax during my work day.

    I recently started to do that! Helps a lot :)
  • aokoye
    aokoye Posts: 3,495 Member
    A lot of therapy, specifically a lot of therapy with a therapist who I have good chemistry with and who uses a modality that works for me. There are countless different ways of doing therapy out there which is a good thing because not every way will work for every person. A large chunk of the therapy that I've had over the years hasn't been useful to me at all (and in some cases it was detrimental), that said my current therapist (who I've been seeing for 6+ years) is a really good fit for me.

    Medication is a no go (and not for lack of trying), exercise doesn't do anything to better my mental health, mindfulness is a non-starter with regards to my depression and anxiety, etc.

    My depression isn't so much "better" so much as I can do things now. I still have quite a lot of suicidal ideation, hopelessness, and so on. The difference is that I can get stuff done, go to school, and hang out with friends, as opposed to not being able to get out of bed.
  • thanos5
    thanos5 Posts: 513 Member
    therapy and swimming. lots of swimming. water comforts me. best of luck to you.
  • kami3006
    kami3006 Posts: 4,979 Member
    I have had Major Depressive Disorder since I was a kid; 44 now. I now use a low dose of medication, and am fortunate to be one of those for whom exercise helps tremendously. I found a program that I enjoy (lifting) several years ago, and was able to decrease my dose of meds shortly after.

    Two additional things that do help me are: working with animals, which I'm fortunate to do in my morning job. And getting some sunshine. We added a pool a few years ago and being outside, even under a shade, has a noticeable effect on my general mood.

    I'm sorry you're dealing with this. It took me a long time to find what works for me. Keep trying things, talking to therapists, asking questions. I hope it gets better for you.
  • Terytha
    Terytha Posts: 2,097 Member
    Drugs manage my anxiety, more or less.

    My Team Me helps manage my depression. Team Me includes my husband, family, friends, and even the supportive people around here who are willing to prop me up when I'm falling down. People I can count on to have my back and look out for me.

    But there's no cure. Just ease of symptoms. And working a desk job is pretty crushing to me too, I feel ya there. I get some relief sometimes from sensory deprivation. When I have the funds, I go lay in space for a while and imagine myself as just a consciousness with no body, floating in a void.

    Then I go home and cuddle under my 20 pound weighted blanket because both no sensation, and the feeling of being pressed down on, are very soothing to me for whatever reason.
  • sammidelvecchio
    sammidelvecchio Posts: 791 Member
    edited June 2019
    My cat helps, and horses. But other than that, I have found ways to keep my mind off things, or find more positive behaviors to engage in while my mind is still racing or sad depending on the day but few things significantly help. I am currently looking into getting a therapy dog.

    Best of luck and lots of hugs.
  • SaraJ429
    SaraJ429 Posts: 50 Member
    My cat helps, and horses. But other than that, I have found ways to keep my mind off things, or find more positive behaviors to engage in while my mind is still racing or sad depending on the day but nothing that significantly helps. I am currently looking into getting a therapy dog.

    Best of luck and lots of hugs.

    What helps you redirect your focus and mind?
  • sammidelvecchio
    sammidelvecchio Posts: 791 Member
    @Salemss1 puzzles, reading, cooking, napping, coloring. I do usually get distracted several times by my thoughts, but it is a lot different than hours with a racing mind. Walking outside has worked wonders for me. While I still battle with my mind on most walks, I can also see wildlife, there are other people around, I see a lot of dogs (smile), can listen to music, and putting a lot of energy into just being present and enjoying my surroundings seems to have made a big difference for me. I have also found a lot of podcasts I like to listen to while walking because its like I'm having a conversation with someone and keeps me focused on whatever the topic of the day is.

    Of course there are nights I sit on my balcony with a glass of wine and just cry. But with my current therapist I am learning how to view this as therapeutic and a release of sadness, anger, emotion, etc and in turn hope it surfaces less often as nightmares, paranoia, etc. We'll see how that goes ;)
  • puffbrat
    puffbrat Posts: 2,806 Member
    I take Sertraline. I have also had to learn to recognize my triggers and effectively survive through the ones I can't avoid. I increasingly rebalance my priorities so that things I enjoy and that are good for my mental health often make the cut over more the of the "typical" tasks. It means my house is a little dirtier because I may choose to wait an extra week to dust furniture so I can read more, but I also don't let it slide into actually gross or unsanitary. The kitchen has become a huge trigger for my anxiety. As long as the dirty dishes are cleaned right away and the counters tidy, the rest of the house can be chaos with dog and toddler toys everywhere.
  • sammidelvecchio
    sammidelvecchio Posts: 791 Member
    @Salemss1 I will also mention I made a huge lifestyle change last year. I quit my job. It was one of the best decisions I ever made and I haven't looked back since.
  • ms_maruska
    ms_maruska Posts: 119 Member
    It sounds very tough.. but it's good to hear you're managing in everyday life.

    I've not had it as long as you and mine was brought on by stress and burnout. From my experience, and I know how it sounds, but magnesium citrate and vit b complex have helped greatly with getting relief for everyday anxiety.

    When I get panic attacks (brought on by nothing in particular at whatever hour) then I go for a walk by the river. That walk is usually 15-20km long tho. I usually joke around that I have to tire myself like a dog so I don't jump out of my own skin. Sometimes I just listen to the sounds of the river, sometimes I put a podcast on. But in a nutshell, for anxiety, just getting the "bad" energy out as much as possible. Not only when I get panic attacks but most days (just not as long, maybe 8-10km) as I feel it building up inside when I stop walking for a couple of days.

    I'm also trying to meditate but I don't see myself continuing with that. I'll give it a chance for a while tho.

    I've managed to mostly get off the pills through this but obv I am able to at the moment as I have some more free time now. Not sure what it will be like when I get back to full time work.

    You've said that you've tried a lot of things but I hope you find that one things that makes it easier.
  • puffbrat
    puffbrat Posts: 2,806 Member
    @Salemss1 I will also mention I made a huge lifestyle change last year. I quit my job. It was one of the best decisions I ever made and I haven't looked back since.

    Good for you! Changing jobs was by far the best thing I have done for my mental health.
  • Joanna2012B
    Joanna2012B Posts: 1,448 Member
    I have suffered from anxiety and depression for many years. Since I started eating healthy and exercising it has drastically improved, especially running and yoga. Of course my dog and cat also play a positive part in my mental health.
  • sksk1026
    sksk1026 Posts: 215 Member
    You describe a lot of the symptoms of adhd - trouble concentrating, feeling trapped, tedium, feeling antsy, unmotivated. Adhd brains find it hard to focus on something they're not interested in. Freq breaks help because they provide a dopamine burst. Read 'driven to distraction' by Hallowell to see if it fits you. Anxiety/depression are common co-morbidities. ADHD can manifest in a quiet way that teachers and docs miss. The impulsivity can be impulsivity of thought not necessarily your body. Follow @erynnbrook and @danidonovan on Twitter if you want better descs of what it can look and feel like.
  • MichelleMinn
    MichelleMinn Posts: 90 Member
    Okay, I'm going to vaguely mention products in the course of this response. I am not trying to sell these products to you. I just literally cannot tell this story without mentioning them. I relate to your story enough that I can neither not respond nor can I leave out a part of my own recovery. Ugh, please no one report me since I don't know how else to do this, and I like it here.

    I had really crippling depression and anxiety, into early this year. I was picking holes into my own skin, obsessively. I couldn't sleep. My thoughts were dark. My mother-in-law passed away, and the only way I could travel with my husband -- my face full of scabs -- was with prescription drugs, and I still couldn't attend family events.

    I own a business, and couldn't function there. I wept in my medical provider's office. My husband believed I wouldn't be around much longer, and I believed that too. I mean, if it all ends in death, and the world is getting worse, what's the point? You can see I would have been fun at parties of anyone could have forced me to attend a party.

    I kept thinking if I knew a way to rise out of this mess -- where people would tell me to stop picking at myself when I didn't realize I was -- I would, but I couldn't figure it out.

    Antidepressants kicked in enough to get me out of bed. And one of my employees mentioned products she was taking. Gut health, blood sugar regulation... Those helped. I continue to take them.

    I'm not saying they fixed everything, but they got me to a place where I could function, and make better choices for myself. They were my path, I'm not saying they have to be yours, or that my reasons why are yours. What I am suggesting is that some of your issue could be gut health related, and that at least looking at dietary changes involving prebiotics, probiotics, and trying to limit sugar might get you to a place where your symptoms reduce enough so that you can keep making positive changes. I say dietary because your path could be through the produce aisle. There is no version of this where you don't have to put in effort, and no version of this where you can only succeed by mimicking me.

    I drink an ocean of water every day, I go to ridiculous lengths to get a good night sleep, I set healthy boundaries with people, and I sometimes go on ahead and put myself first. I take my dogs for tons of walks, which always makes me happier, and yet we don't always to the things that make us happier, do we? :)

    I am in a much different place now, a place I doubted only a short while ago I would reach. I have trouble imagining how my thoughts got so dark, and yet I am careful to not go back there. People are freaked out, including diners at my restaurant, at the changes in me. My anxiety, while not gone, is reduced into what is probably a normal range. I still have prescription anxiety meds I haven't touched in months. My antidepressant is at a low dose. I gave away my, um, brownies. I effortlessly make small talk. Sometimes I realize I'm smiling.

    A friend of ours asked my husband what it was like getting his wife back, and he cried. Sure he would love me sharing that! The nurse practitioner I see is floored.

    I guess the most important thing to take away from this is to cling to the idea what it can get better, even if you don't quite know how yet. If you keep taking care of yourself, it's harder for the darkness to get a hold of you, because every positive step down fairly consistently is a rebuke of the thoughts that want to pull you down.
  • MichelleMinn
    MichelleMinn Posts: 90 Member
    @Salemss1 puzzles, reading, cooking, napping, coloring. I do usually get distracted several times by my thoughts, but it is a lot different than hours with a racing mind. Walking outside has worked wonders for me. While I still battle with my mind on most walks, I can also see wildlife, there are other people around, I see a lot of dogs (smile), can listen to music, and putting a lot of energy into just being present and enjoying my surroundings seems to have made a big difference for me. I have also found a lot of podcasts I like to listen to while walking because its like I'm having a conversation with someone and keeps me focused on whatever the topic of the day is.

    Of course there are nights I sit on my balcony with a glass of wine and just cry. But with my current therapist I am learning how to view this as therapeutic and a release of sadness, anger, emotion, etc and in turn hope it surfaces less often as nightmares, paranoia, etc. We'll see how that goes ;)

    Yes! So much of this, including coloring. Especially getting out in nature. Although, the place where I live is a frozen tundra more months than not. LOL!

  • MichelleSilverleaf
    MichelleSilverleaf Posts: 2,027 Member
    CBT-based therapies. I did talk therapy, and while it was nice to hash things out I didn't find it gave me anything productive. I completed a 14-week program for my anxiety and it helped a ton, the psychiatrist gave me a lot of tools and strategies that I can actually use and have been using. Now I'm doing a 14-week group CBT therapy for depression, only a couple sessions into it but so far I got more out of it than talking to someone. The activities suggested are great if you can do them, sometimes that can be really hard with depression messing with your mind.
  • jojomariemfp
    jojomariemfp Posts: 9 Member
    I have friends who swear by CBD oil. Says like 3 drops a day did better than any prescription anxiety medicines they ever took. Not for me, but maybe you could check it out.
  • morganjw1
    morganjw1 Posts: 18 Member
    I feel your pain. I've been dealing with depression (Diagnosed) for about 15 years and it's a horrible, horrible daily battle. Most days are good but even with meds and exercise I still have bad days. I take Welbutrin every day but by far, for me, the best "drug" is exercise. 95% of my exercise is outside so that I benefit from both the exercise and the sun. Fortunately for me, I get a true "high" from exercise to the point that I'm super amped up for a couple of hours after exercising. I too work a desk job and while it may just be my opinion, or what works for me but I feel that it's absolutely essential to get outside as much as possible to absorb some natural vitamin D from the sun. Another issue that drives my depression is my sleep patterns. For years I've had issues with sleep and on normal nights I'm lucky to get 3-4 hours of uninterrupted sleep and usually no more than 5-6 total hours at best. I wish I knew how to fix this but it seems to be my cross to bear.
  • FibroHiker
    FibroHiker Posts: 398 Member
    CBD oil helps with anxiety and depression immensely. I use CBD oil every day and it's helped a lot. I also do meditation whenever I can.
  • mbaker566
    mbaker566 Posts: 11,233 Member
    medication. it took years to find the right one but so far this one is working.
    i have not found diet or exercise helps but i do feel overall(not just mood) better if i eat a well balanced diet.
    my dogs help. aerial yoga helps. because it's easy to track accomplishments even if i'm not great at it.
    nature helps me find a sense of peace.
    i tried therapy and i don't know how much i liked it. but i have very supportive friends
    i found one of the big things is to have supportive, nonenergy draining people in my life.
    i work in an office and it can be hard. but it's a means to an end and that makes it bearable
  • shaf238
    shaf238 Posts: 4,022 Member
    A lot of the things you can try to help yourself cope better will be down to personal preferences. I can only speak for some of the things that helped me and as cliche as it may sound, one of those things is working out. Gym time is my time, it's a mental break from everything. Team sports (for me, football) is another thing that helped. I also used to read a ton of fiction books (epic fantasy novels) that took me away from everything in the real world for a bit. All of these things were there for respite. As well as that, the basics such as removing (some) social media, not overindulging on TV and cleaning up my eating habits helped massively. Sleep is also so so crucial and probably the hardest thing to resolve.
  • sammidelvecchio
    sammidelvecchio Posts: 791 Member
    mbaker566 wrote: »
    i found one of the big things is to have supportive, nonenergy draining people in my life.

    This is important. I have also started setting more boundaries, and ending relationships over the last 3 years. I also deleted facebook entirely and am very selective about the pages I follow on Instagram.
  • cbstewart88
    cbstewart88 Posts: 453 Member
    edited June 2019
    Exercise!! I have found that working up a good sweat, getting my blood flowing, challenging my body and mind with new types of workouts (boxing, yoga, running, calisthenics.....) works wonders. Followed by a nice, invigorating cool shower - I am ready to face anything - with rosy cheeks to boot!! This is just my own experience and opinion - I am not a doctor :/
  • sammidelvecchio
    sammidelvecchio Posts: 791 Member
    earlnabby wrote: »

    At my worst, the only thing that kept me going is the knowledge that my cats need me.

    Me too, *hugs* <3