Feeling sad for patient

Gemini_at_36
Gemini_at_36 Posts: 207
edited October 1 in Motivation and Support
I triaged a patient today and one of the required questions is how tall are you and how much do you weigh. Usually I always weigh more than the patient and sometimes it makes me feel bad and when I have good days, it doesn't bother me because I know I'm working on it. Today this patient mumbled -39. Looking at this patient, I thought 239? 339? So I clarified and asked I'm sorry what did you say. The patient looked at me ( I swear I saw embarrassment, uncomfortableness, shame, and sorrow on this patient) and stated 439. I felt so bad. There was nothing I could do to make this patient feel better. Usually if a patient weighs more than me, it's kinda like yes! Finally somebody who weighs more than me. Today with this patient, I just felt sad for both of us. Patient history also includes a lap band in 2008... Once again for those of us on the bariatric surgery road, it is only a tool. A tool that we use everyday for the rest of our lives but we still have to learn new ways of living... Whether it is mental, spiritual, physical, or something else, I'm learning that I can't have one without the other. I am a complete puzzle and I am just starting to learn about some of the pieces. My point?????...........Take each day at a time, take one step in front of the other. Take care of yourself. Love yourself, if you don't, please take the time to learn........:heart:

Replies

  • I am sure this pt felt your compassion...even though you did not feel this~

    I am lucky that we do not have to ask weights of adults except under certain circumstances...and then we put them on a scale, or a scale bed...
  • WifeMomDVM
    WifeMomDVM Posts: 1,025 Member
    Awww... sounds like an emotional time for you. And for the patient. My prayers for both of you.

    Sounds like you have the right attitude for success though. Keep your head up and put one foot in front of the other with a smile on your face - it can only get better from here. Just keep at it!
  • sabified
    sabified Posts: 1,035 Member
    :(

    That is sad to hear :(

    But as awful as I feel saying this, it's things like that which motivate me to try harder to lose weight.... I never want to be that person :(
  • me too
  • dmpizza
    dmpizza Posts: 3,321 Member
    At least you were able to help him in some way.
    I hope both of you get what you need.
  • JDRBT
    JDRBT Posts: 264 Member
    Patient history also includes a lap band in 2008... Once again for those of us on the bariatric surgery road, it is only a tool. A tool that we use everyday for the rest of our lives but we still have to learn new ways of living... Whether it is mental, spiritual, physical, or something else, I'm learning that I can't have one without the other. I am a complete puzzle...
    I work in the medical field too. I've come to realize that eating yourself to death IS a slower form of suicide. There is SO MUCH mental stuff that goes into why we ignore our bodies "stop" cues. Then we get so used to ignoring them, we continue to punish ourselves or reward ourselves with food. I read a fun quote today: "Don't reward yourself with food. You are not a dog." It stung a little, but rang VERY true... Unfortunately, the stats that are coming in have proven (so far) that those who lose with the lap band and bariatric surgery are no more likely to keep the weight off long term than someone who loses another way. It make help folks lose weight fast, but if you can't make the brain change, you'll put it all back on (and then some). It's a great tool for some to help get started, but it's can't be a "crutch" - especially the band! About 50% of the time, patients have to go in again because it slipped or is causing other issues. I'm SO PROUD of you folks out there who have been through Lap or gastric bypass AND KEPT IT OFF or are seeking help and support to make the Brain Change! Keep it up! CHANGE THOSE STATS! :) YOU CAN DO IT!
  • birdlover97111
    birdlover97111 Posts: 346 Member
    Weight loss surgery won't work if you are not in the correct mindset to lose the weight...Some people, (not all), use the surgery as a crutch and then continue the eating behaviors that made them obese in the first place...I have a few friends that have experienced this....I believe that weight loss for the long term is mental, and you have to have the right mindset...Just my opinion, hope I don't offend anyone because that is not my intention.... :flowerforyou:
  • I'm so glad that you were the person helping the patient... I know it's so horrifying to have to say our weight out loud -- but at least she had to say it to someone who didn't judge negatively based on appearance and you understand the struggle.
  • Troy67
    Troy67 Posts: 556 Member
    I know how you feel. My floor at the hospital is where all of the bariatric surgery patients recover. To be certified to treat these patients everyone at our hospital has to do an annual inservice dealing with weight bias, etc.
    At my heaviest of 336 lbs, I was thinking about the banding but knew I would never be able to follow all the rules. I ended up doing it the hard way with a total lifestyle change but would never go back and do it otherwise. They might not be able to tell by looking at me now, but I feel their pain and understand what being obese is/was like.
  • cownancy
    cownancy Posts: 291
    I know how you feel. My floor at the hospital is where all of the bariatric surgery patients recover. To be certified to treat these patients everyone at our hospital has to do an annual inservice dealing with weight bias, etc.
    At my heaviest of 336 lbs, I was thinking about the banding but knew I would never be able to follow all the rules. I ended up doing it the hard way with a total lifestyle change but would never go back and do it otherwise. They might not be able to tell by looking at me now, but I feel their pain and understand what being obese is/was like.

    Troy, I mean no nastiness, but I'm sorry, I is NOT the "EASY" way to loose weight with weight loss surgery, as you imply by saying that you did it "the hard way". I have had to do a total and complete lifestyle change JUST to get permission to have the band surgery. I've been through hell just to go through hundreds of doctors' appointments so I could have this TOOL implanted that is designed to help me control my hunger. But, it is NOT easier than any other forms of weight loss, it just works better for me. I think the process and accountability is what helps the most. I feel like I have an entire team helping me.

    I'm surprised that your sensitivity training did not going into the many incorrect prejudices that the general public seems to hold against those who choose to have weight loss surgery.
  • xraychick77
    xraychick77 Posts: 1,775 Member
    isnt this a hippa violation
  • Troy67
    Troy67 Posts: 556 Member
    Sorry, Nancy.
    I was referring to my way of thinking back in 2005 when I was in that state of mind. Always looking for the easy fix. The magic pill, ear staple, hypnotism, etc. At that time I considered exercise and lifestyle change too much work. I know that at that time I wasn't strong enough to follow the rules; It was too hard, not too easy.
    We didn't even have the bariatric surgery at our facility at the time. It is only now from talking to the patients, the surgeon who does the procedure, his staff, etc. That I understand how everything works and why it works/doesn't work for people. Yes the training has been enlightening when looking at others and myself. I had been heavy since age 12 and when enough people put you down for so many years those stereotypes become ingrained, even when I was the one being stereotyped.
    You are correct the process is pretty arduous before you can even get approved for the surgery. Nothing easy about it. Months of meetings, many procedures, proving that one can do the lifestyle change before hand, making sure the person is prepared physically, mentally, spiritually and any other way that could possibly affect the outcome.
    Sorry if I came across as having that mind-set at this current time. Hopefully you can understand my attitude about the whole thing. I feel these patients are far stronger than I ever was at the same stage of my weight loss struggle.
    Troy
  • Troy67
    Troy67 Posts: 556 Member
    isnt this a hippa violation

    No. My talking about bariatric surgery in a general manner isn't a HIPAA violation. This is from the HIPAA website:

    Protected Health Information. The Privacy Rule protects all "individually
    identifiable health information" held or transmitted by a covered entity or its business
    associate, in any form or media, whether electronic, paper, or oral. The Privacy Rule
    calls this information "protected health information (PHI)."
    12
    “Individually identifiable health information” is information, including demographic
    data, that relates to:
    • the individual’s past, present or future physical or mental health or
    condition,
    • the provision of health care to the individual, or
    • the past, present, or future payment for the provision of health care to the
    individual,
    and that identifies the individual or for which there is a reasonable basis to believe
    can be used to identify the individual.
    13
    Individually identifiable health information
    includes many common identifiers (e.g., name, address, birth date, Social Security
    Number).

    If I discussed a particular patient and disclosed even one little piece of info that somehow identified someone it would be. All I did was say how I once thought about having the surgery and realized it wasn't feasible for me. And then went on to say I can empathize with what they have and are going through.
  • JDRBT
    JDRBT Posts: 264 Member
    isnt this a hippa violation
    Nope. You don't know who the patient is, where they were seen, or who they were seen by. The patient's privacy is protected as long as there is no patient identifying information shared, so it's okay dokey. ;)
  • tarrox
    tarrox Posts: 47
    isnt this a hippa violation
    Nope. You don't know who the patient is, where they were seen, or who they were seen by. The patient's privacy is protected as long as there is no patient identifying information shared, so it's okay dokey. ;)

    ^^^^^^This^^^^ And, when someone doesn't spell HIPAA correctly, it's a good indicator they don't know what they are talking about!
  • Gigi_licious
    Gigi_licious Posts: 1,185 Member
    isnt this a hippa violation

    Only if she reveals the patients name, gender, where she saw the patient...
This discussion has been closed.