Drowning in a sea of failure! Help please!!!
FractalFaery
Posts: 8
I'm sure you're all sick of hearing from me at this point but I just don't know what to do with myself. I literally can't stop eating. I have literally lost my self control... I don't know what to do anymore. I can't even stick to it for one day!!! I don't want to give up on myself but I'm running out of ideas.
Is there an exercise that conditions your self control? If so please let me know!
Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.
Is there an exercise that conditions your self control? If so please let me know!
Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.
0
Replies
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Set yourself up to not fail....keep only healthy things in the house and try not to stress. Don't look at it like the whole big picture. One day at a time. If today was bad, it's all good and you will have a better day tomorrow. When you are hungry drink a full glass of water instead or go work out. Do things to take your mind off of food. I know it's tough, we have all been there but you WILL get past this and be stronger for it.
And if you love sweets, search these forums for healthy alternatives that you can make and eat the whole thing and not feel guilty.
We are here to help you and you CAN do this. Good luck.0 -
eating is my #1 fail for my journey to lose weight, but i do i one ideal advice that may change your outlook on eating conrtol. take on a HANDS ON Hobby that takes your mind off of mindless eating. or like everyone else says, when you eat something and you still feel hungry, go for a long walk or do some sit ups or some type of exercise to take your mind off of the food. for me, it's massage therapy, i am a massage therapist and when i am not doing hands on, and watching TV, im in the cycle of IMMM HUNGRRRYYY! Good luck!0
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Firts, you MUST commit in order to succeed---once you have made the committment, you must clean out your environment of any temptation, at least for the early stages, once this becomes more of a habit, this part will get easier. But I am telling you, if you are not ready to make the committment and the changs associated with it, then you will do nothing but fail.
Good luck!0 -
Uhm, not to sound mean if I do, but if you can't stop eating then chances are maybe your not ready to lose weight yet?
You can't just want to diet, you need to do it. And I don't think anyone but yourself can decide when your ready, but it doesn't sound like you want it bad enough if you can't stop eating0 -
Sounds like you're bashing your head against a wall there. Have you tried focussing your goal somewhere else for a week or two? Maybe not focus on limiting your cals, but go for increasing your fruit and veg intake, or making sure you get your water drunk.
You might also want to look at why you're eating. Overstressed? Overtired? It sounds like your body is trying to get your attention over something.0 -
I struggled in the same way for years, and it wasn't until I started going to individual therapy, group therapy, and eating disorder counseling on a regular basis that I truly began to come to terms with the emotional reasons why I was eating so much and why the weight was such an obsession to me. I was diagnosed with binge eating disorder, am now taking Topamax, and with the help of the continued support of counseling I have finally reached the point where I am truly "well" and recovered from my eating disorder. You CAN have that same success, but no amount of support from your friends is going to do it. You may have to consider seeking out professional assistance in the form of psychotherapy and pharmacotherapy. Some people are resistant to this, however I encourage you to explore this option.0
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Go right now and get rid of all the garbage in your fridge and cupboards. Think of it like breaking up with a boyfriend. Go and break up with your chips and your ice cream!! Then get out and go for a walk to clear your head. Once you get your body moving you will automatically want to put better things into it. Good luck to you!!0
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Yeah, just put the "bad" food in the garbage... And if you keep buying, then keep throwing it. You can use your guilt as a motivation to do that...
Also, don't beat yourself too hard, if you manage to keep doing well and logging your calories on MyFitnessPal 50% of the time, it is still better than before.0 -
Bump!0
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ok, your probably being far too hard on yourself. you need to tackle this weight-loss issue one step at a time. unless you have major health issues that mean you have to loose your weight asap then you have to be kinder to yourself and look at it another way.
You didnt get overweight over night so you cann't expect to loose it in a short time either. have you tried using smaller plates? Try for a week or so just logging everything you eat and even the portion sizes just to see where you can begin to make some changes.
then try a smaller plates, weighing what you eat and cutting down, not cutting out. Some things you will see your over doing it on and be able to tackle yourself.then other stuff like eating out and if you normally eat pizza or othe high fattening food,try eat less of it, find out about portion sizes and try to get yourself into eating what you should be. try some different veg dishes, add salad to your table when eating, Look for new things to have that you've not tried.
i'd never eaten a yam or a squash now i love them. i love chocolate so i now only have it occasionally but i did it by buying the most expensive bar i could afford and only eating it when i really felt i wanted some. i allowed myself a few squares only at a time, it worked after a month i didnt eat much of it at all. now i can safely have a little and i dont feel i've let myself down. afeter a year i've got used to eating much less and now its time for me to re-value what i can do next. i've introduced excersice that i know i can stick to. I still have difficulty eating breakfast but its a problem i'm working on. we all have issues we need to tackle, its all about how we overcome them. Your not a failure, mistakes are there for us to learn what work for us and what doesn't. some things you'll be doing will over time work great for you. others aren't. thants ok.0 -
If you open your diary I can help you. If you binge eat, other than emotional reasons, there could be dietary reasons as well.
There could be something you are missing, like maybe iron, or calcium, or healthy fats, that your body is crying out for, and triggering the hunger signal to get it, but if you eat the wrong thing it won't go away because your body still wants it.
Also, make sure you eat enough throughout the day. If you get to the point where you are SOOOO hungry....then of course you will break down and binge.
It's hard to know for sure the problem without seeing your diary.
Add me if you'd like.0 -
The topic title was so dramatic that I had to click and read!
For the past 2 months, ALL I've been doing is eating and NOT working out. I was doing fantastic for 4 months, and then it was gone, so I feel like we're on exactly the same page.
Last Monday I decided that was it! It just has to click. You gotta find something - a reason to get back on board, and a reason NOT TO EAT JUNK all day like I was. I was literally just thinking of excuses why I SHOULD eat horribly, but you gotta stop and thing why should I eat RIGHT!
What's really worked for me is making myself eat every 4 hours. I feel hungry after 3, and then I might have a tea or small fruit, but I can usually hold off for 4. This lets me eat about 300 calories 4x/day at 8, 12, 4, and 8. I was a little off with it yesterday, and might be again today, but this mentality is really helping me stay in control.
PS - I know I only eat out of boredom, so I try to keep myself busy with other things as well. Try and get to the bottom of WHY you feel like you want to eat all the time.
BEST OF LUCK! We've all been there! :flowerforyou:Set yourself up to not fail....keep only healthy things in the house and try not to stress.0 -
My out-of-control eating is getting much better due to work that I'm doing with a therapist. We have discovered WHY I do that and are working through that issue. I have also started working with a dietician--not focusing on what I'm eating, but HOW. I'll always struggle with food, but for the first time I think that maybe it won't always be so awful. Good luck.0
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You are not alone in this! I suggest reading the book "Why Can't I Stop Eating" - it talks about food addictions. Some people are just addicted to certain kinds of foods - whether it be wheat (flour/breads) or sweets, etc. Basically the more you eat of your "trigger" foods the more your body craves them so really the only way to stop is to eliminate those triggers. It is VERY hard but once you get clean (yup just like a drug addict or alcoholic) you feel better. Stay strong you can do this - it will just take some discipline and dedication. Oh and a lot prayer won't hurt either! Good luck0
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Look at the quote on your signature and change it to this:
When Thomas Edison was interviewed by a young reporter who boldly asked Mr. Edison if he felt like a failure and if he thought he should just give up by now. Perplexed, Edison replied, "Young man, why would I feel like a failure? And why would I ever give up? I now know definitively over 9,000 ways that an electric light bulb will not work. Success is almost in my grasp." And shortly after that, and over 10,000 attempts, Edison invented the light bulb.
You cannot succeed if you don't try and if you try you will fail and sometimes fail again. Keep pushing.
I post below a little blog entry I wrote about 6 months ago. I have changed my life in the last year and if I can so can you. Hope this helps:
March 2011
I have to date lost around 40 pounds. Have another 25 or so to go. This is no longer about vanity; we’re talking life and death now. My ticker is ticked off and will brook no more nonsense from the rest of the body politic.
Live fit or die, that’s my motto.
Some lessons learned long the way:
None dare call it diet. Diets are like most of my relationships before I met my bride: Short, usually painful and always destined to end badly. Need a label? Call it md-life crisis, a change of life (but don’t say style, people that use the term life-style usually have neither), a message from God or Gaia or your own brave and lonely stand against the International food conspiracy.-Brothers and Sisters, put down your forks- you have nothing to lose but your chins!
But call it a diet and you have already lost the battle. Now you’re just waiting for the proper authorities to accept your surrender.
Exercise. Like your life depended on it, cause it will eventually and already does in my case. The SEALS say the only easy day is yesterday. Words to live by. Mix weights and cardio and anything else you can think of to get your lazy butt off the couch. If you run out of everything else dig holes in the backyard then fill them up again. It will drive your dog nuts and give your neighbors something to think about.
Plateaus. Sooner or later, you will hit one. Count on it. Here’s my advice: GET FROSTY. Counting calories? Count em twice to make sure. Working out? Work out harder and differenter.
Weigh yourself weekly if you must or monthly if you can but not every day. Scales are wonderful for maintenance but the moral equivalent of thumb screws when you’re trying to shed weight. It will torture you with quarter pound losses followed immediately by two pound gains. Don’t give the damn thing the satisfaction. Just put down your progress chart and step away from the scale, nice and slow ,nobody needs to get hurt here...
Habit or Hunger? The great physicist Richard Feynman once said that the first principle is that you must not fool yourself and you're the easiest person to fool. If it goes into your mouth it's going to end up somewhere, probably just exactly where you are trying desperately to get those jeans to button. So ask yourself: Am I eating from habit or hunger? If you are really hungry, rate it from 1 to 10 with say 1 being five minutes from now I won't remember why I am in the kitchen and 10 being lost at sea for a month and a half. Putting things into perspective instead of your stomach is calorie free.
If you are a heavy drinker, stop and don't start again unless and until you think you can handle it. I went from Dean Martin to mostly teetotaler and do not miss the hangovers or liquor bills. Also I can now afford better cognac and scotch because it lasts damn near forever. A million reasons to avoid the stuff but mostly I shun the empty calories.
To all of you out there, remember the road may be long and strewn with obstacles and wrong turns, but you are not alone so if you feel yourself faltering or getting lost in the fog just grab ahold of the virtual arm of that person next to you. Then, when you can, pass it forward.0 -
You are not alone in this! ...... It is VERY hard but once you get clean (yup just like a drug addict or alcoholic) you feel better. Stay strong you can do this - it will just take some discipline and dedication. Oh and a lot prayer won't hurt either! Good luck
EXACTLY! Food Addiction Is Real!!! Learn about your food triggers. It is completely just like an addict going through withdrawal...but with drugs/alcohol you take them out of the equation to get sober...you can't take food out of your life...so you have to learn what to eat and commit to it. Unfortunately, like other addicitions, sometimes it takes you hitting ROCK BOTTOM before you can fully committ!
You have support here! Praying for you girl!0 -
Start with small changes...this isn't a diet, it is a lifestyle change. Commit to drinking a certain amount of water every day for a week, then then next week add a new goal. I did an 8 week spin class that had you make changes slowly and it works. Those small changes become healthy habits.
When you feel hungry, think about if you are feeding your body or feeding your emotions.
I wish you luck on your journey.0 -
What motivates you? Find something you want to do (not food related) and say you'll do/buy/go ___________ when you eat clean for however many days. Start small with an attainable goal. Also look at why you eat. Emotional trigger? Boredom? Environmental?
I used to want to pig out middle of the afternoon at work because I was bored and tired. When I figured that out I started to get up from my desk and walk up and down the stairs. Usually that distracted me from wanting to eat something. But if my body still needed something I would let myself have a snack (like Greek Yogurt or something).
Also, stop calling yourself a failure. People live up to their expectations so if you set out expecting to fail, you will create that as reality.0 -
Don't be hard on yourself,
i went through the same thing a while back of wanting to eat and it was at a time that i did,'t loose any weight for two weeks. i didn't give into the urge, i chewed on sugar free gum and there was a bedroom that needed decorating,so instead of eating i painted the bedroom (and very nice it looks to ),
I started to loose weight again and the urge to eat has gone. So keep yourself occupied.
good luck .0 -
One psychological trick that helps me: when I find myself staring at or desiring a particular food that I "love," and my body begins to scream at me to eat it, I let my mind kick in to remind myself: "I CAN eat that item (pizza, cake, ice cream), but I CHOOSE not to (because ... visualize reason ... most recently my son's wedding)." Then I make a deal with myself and say, "When I weigh xyz, I will make that/buy that/give that to myself."
I was the youngest child and have a lifetime of deprivation recordings in my head. What I find I respond to is reminding myself that I am empowered in my own life. Seriously, how hard is it to order a pizza? I can pick up the phone and do that any time! How hard is it to loose 5 pounds (especially now that I am closer to 50 than to 40)? So hard that I cannot afford to sabotage myself. Don't go backward; forge ahead. It's the daily choices that will bring success.
Phentermine can help surpress your appetite. Talk to a specialist about having your T-3 and T-4 (thyroid) levels checked separately. You be the boss. You can, and you are worth it. (Eat breakfast, but not supper. Choose all the fruits and veggies you want when you're starving. Have lean protein daily.) Good luck!
By the way, by the time I get to xyz weight, half the time I as so proud that I no longer want the troublesome food :-)0 -
Reading these posts is perfect timing for me too! We can have the life and body we want, but don't wait for tomorrow, do it NOW!!0
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Uhm, not to sound mean if I do, but if you can't stop eating then chances are maybe your not ready to lose weight yet?
You can't just want to diet, you need to do it. And I don't think anyone but yourself can decide when your ready, but it doesn't sound like you want it bad enough if you can't stop eating
I was going to say this as well. As someone already said, something has to "click."
I thought I was doing everything right, but my weight wouldn't budge. I was exercising and eating healthy, but the scale wasn't budging. I went to a doctor's appointment and even though I knew "calories in <calories out = weight loss" for whatever reason, it hit me on the head like a ton of bricks when he said it. Both of my parents were type 2 diabetics and I knew I was a ticking timebomb. I was healthy, and I wanted to stay that way.
While I said I was eating healthy, I was eating too much. I started weighing food, measuring portions and counting cals. Boom.....lost 30#. I also stepped up the exercise from just walking to running and biking and I added in weight training. It happened over time, but I am now ready to do my first sprint triathlon in a few weeks...@ the age of 49. I have maintained a 50# loss for over 3 years now. I didn't go on a diet, I changed my life.
Ask yourself, how badly do you want this?0 -
Look at the quote on your signature and change it to this:
When Thomas Edison was interviewed by a young reporter who boldly asked Mr. Edison if he felt like a failure and if he thought he should just give up by now. Perplexed, Edison replied, "Young man, why would I feel like a failure? And why would I ever give up? I now know definitively over 9,000 ways that an electric light bulb will not work. Success is almost in my grasp." And shortly after that, and over 10,000 attempts, Edison invented the light bulb.
You cannot succeed if you don't try and if you try you will fail and sometimes fail again. Keep pushing.
I post below a little blog entry I wrote about 6 months ago. I have changed my life in the last year and if I can so can you. Hope this helps:
March 2011
I have to date lost around 40 pounds. Have another 25 or so to go. This is no longer about vanity; we’re talking life and death now. My ticker is ticked off and will brook no more nonsense from the rest of the body politic.
Live fit or die, that’s my motto.
Some lessons learned long the way:
None dare call it diet. Diets are like most of my relationships before I met my bride: Short, usually painful and always destined to end badly. Need a label? Call it md-life crisis, a change of life (but don’t say style, people that use the term life-style usually have neither), a message from God or Gaia or your own brave and lonely stand against the International food conspiracy.-Brothers and Sisters, put down your forks- you have nothing to lose but your chins!
But call it a diet and you have already lost the battle. Now you’re just waiting for the proper authorities to accept your surrender.
Exercise. Like your life depended on it, cause it will eventually and already does in my case. The SEALS say the only easy day is yesterday. Words to live by. Mix weights and cardio and anything else you can think of to get your lazy butt off the couch. If you run out of everything else dig holes in the backyard then fill them up again. It will drive your dog nuts and give your neighbors something to think about.
Plateaus. Sooner or later, you will hit one. Count on it. Here’s my advice: GET FROSTY. Counting calories? Count em twice to make sure. Working out? Work out harder and differenter.
Weigh yourself weekly if you must or monthly if you can but not every day. Scales are wonderful for maintenance but the moral equivalent of thumb screws when you’re trying to shed weight. It will torture you with quarter pound losses followed immediately by two pound gains. Don’t give the damn thing the satisfaction. Just put down your progress chart and step away from the scale, nice and slow ,nobody needs to get hurt here...
Habit or Hunger? The great physicist Richard Feynman once said that the first principle is that you must not fool yourself and you're the easiest person to fool. If it goes into your mouth it's going to end up somewhere, probably just exactly where you are trying desperately to get those jeans to button. So ask yourself: Am I eating from habit or hunger? If you are really hungry, rate it from 1 to 10 with say 1 being five minutes from now I won't remember why I am in the kitchen and 10 being lost at sea for a month and a half. Putting things into perspective instead of your stomach is calorie free.
If you are a heavy drinker, stop and don't start again unless and until you think you can handle it. I went from Dean Martin to mostly teetotaler and do not miss the hangovers or liquor bills. Also I can now afford better cognac and scotch because it lasts damn near forever. A million reasons to avoid the stuff but mostly I shun the empty calories.
To all of you out there, remember the road may be long and strewn with obstacles and wrong turns, but you are not alone so if you feel yourself faltering or getting lost in the fog just grab ahold of the virtual arm of that person next to you. Then, when you can, pass it forward.
I LOVE this!
(and FractalFaery, reply sent to inbox, I have a few questions...)0 -
You need to get your head right first, then get organised and then get started.
work out all the reasons you sabotage yourself, all your excuses for not eating right and exercise, write them down, think about them and find solutions, work out your goals and what you want and then plan your attack to reach your goals. Once you have your head in the right mindset, only then you can truly get started and complete what you want.
remeber its only you who can achieve this, no one else and in the end you are only cheating yourself, why not just do it, once and for all and then get on and enjoy your life, be healthy and active forever, then you can focus on other things that are so much more interesting and rewarding.
As far as I know, you only live once, so why waste anymore precious time and start your journey to the new improved you, put that food down, step away from the fridge, you dont realy need it!
All the very best!0 -
Great post! so motivating, thankyou.0
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I too had/have this trouble but i think i finally have it uner control. I found what worked for me was reducing carbs slightly as i find they make me want to binge more if i have too many, I also have cut out sugary products except for diet fizzy drinks (these are my lifesaver atm.) I know they are not good for you so i will eventually cut them out however atm if i am hungry and have had my meals i have a fizzy it tend to take the edge off and stops me going to the cupboard. I also plan my meals i plan for the whole week and have the same meals every day for that week (boring i know but it seems to work as i know what i can have and it doesnt change so its asthough i dont think of other foods. I also chew alot of gum as i find that helps as it gives your mouth something to do
Although i do all the above i also had to find the motivation and i found mine by looking at old pictures of myself and thinking if id have just started when i first joined on mfp i would have lost more weight by now, i dont want to look back in a week/month and regret not trying i want to look back in a month and see how much weight Ive lost.
good luck hun x0 -
bump!0
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No not sick of hearing you we all have challenges we must overcome if you want to make this happen for you. You are totally in control. I am kinda the same way. This is what I did I just could'nt stop eating, I had a gastric bypass in 2006 and even though I can't eat large amounts I have learned I can graze all day and what I was doing was grazing on the wrong foods. Example I would open Graham Crackers, Eat 1 or 2 and before I knew it the entire box was gone..
What I am doing now is taking it a day at a time, I am now calling it a Health and Fitness Challenge. I am eating small amounts every 2 to 3 hours drinking a lot of water, taking my nutritional supplement and getting up moving. I don't do a lot of exercise but I faithfully walk every morning with out fail, that also curbs my appetite, I have been doing this for almost a month and have lost 14 pounds. What I was told if you try not to eat skipping meals then you body goes into what we call a famine mode and starts to store fat for energy, and guess what you start to gain weight. By eating small balanced meals through out the day it keeps your matabolism up and helps the appetite.0
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