I’m new to MFP

amberbean5583 wrote: »

Hey all. I’m not sure who is reading this if anyone honestly. So my name is amber and I’m 34 Yada yada anyway I’m short and overweight. I get so tired of hearing my friends say oh you’re not fat you’re beautiful. However I am 5’ and weight 235 so ummm yea I’m fat and very much overweight.

I ache everyday and I’m so tired of it. I’m tired of being tired. I want to have energy I want to be able to do things I’ve wanted to do without being to tired to do it.

I want that little voice in my head to go away. You know the one The one that tells you that you can’t do something when you know you do but you cave because it’s easier to say I can’t

But my problem is I don’t know how. I don’t know how to love myself because all I see are my flaws I’m honestly hoping that if I can get on track then maybe for the first time in my life o can love myself.

Anyway if you have read this I’m sorry I didn’t introduce myself very well



So I live in West Virginia I have my whole life and yea not sure what else to say now.

You sound like me about five years ago. Just under 5 feet tall, 215 lb., grew up in rural Virginia. I spent a really long time thinking it was not possible for me to lose weight. I tried a lot of "diets" that ultimately made me miserable and didn't work anyway.

The thing is, you don't need a diet. To lose weight, you just need to eat fewer calories than your body burns. You can eat literally anything you want as long as you are consistently within your calorie goal.

You don't have to buy any special foods. You don't have to eat salads (unless you want to). You don't have to give up any foods you like. You don't even have to exercise (unless you want to).

I think the first thing I would do is go get a checkup and make sure that the low energy and aching aren't symptoms of anything else. While you're there, run your weight loss plan by your doctor, and especially mention any exercise you want to do.

After that, just put your stats into MFP and start logging. Log everything you eat, even if sometimes you go over your calories or sometimes have to estimate. Eventually you will need a food scale to make your logging as accurate as possible, but right now your deficit is big enough that you probably don't have to worry about that just yet. Just log all your food, consistently eat the number of calories MFP tells you to eat, and be patient. The weight will come off. It took me about 2.5 years, but I lost 100 pounds and have been maintaining at 110-115 lb. for the past two years.

Hey. I'm also an Amber, and while your friends mean well, they are reinforcing some toxic ideas for you.

You see, you said you were fat, and they said you weren't because you're beautiful. But you didn't say you're ugly, and you aren't. You can be fat and beautiful. You are beautiful at any size. We tend to attach a kind of moral wrongness to fat, and then fat becomes evil and evil is ugly and bad, and then we collectively feel like crap about ourselves for being ugly and bad. That's bull.

If you want to lose this weight, you can. It's not even that hard. I've lost nearly 40 pounds since April, and I barely exercise plus I still eat fast food and cake. But the hard, mean truth is that if you hate yourself now, being thin will not give you love. You'll continue to just see all the other flaws you supposedly have.

Now is the time to grab control of your entire health. Lose weight, and while you do that stop looking at flaws and start searching for nice things to say about yourself. Even if it's just "I am having a good hair day today."

Make it a habit. You'll feel better, and caring for yourself is easier when you care about yourself.

FIRST OF ALL.... just because you are "fat" doesn't mean you aren't beautiful. I HATE when people say "you're not fat, you're beautiful!" like can i not be both? Yes, I can in fact be both. So can anyone else struggling with their weight.

Secondly, I get the whole hating yourself and only seeing your flaws. I am the same exact way. Before I met my fiance (3 1/2 years ago) I was losing weight, I went from around 270 to 230ish and can I tell you how much of a confidence boost I had. I was Queen Hot *kitten*, even though I was still overweight I was slaying it. Then I met him and well.... apparently being a happy healthy relationship makes you fat again lol . So I ballooned out and am now up to 323 lbs. I've lost that confidence I had and I can't stand myself. I feel ugly and miserable, despite my fiance telling me it doesn't matter if I'm fat or skinny, he thinks I'm gorgeous either way. I don't FEEL gorgeous, and that's a struggle we unfortunately have to work through ourselves, and it's a tough one. I'm getting better though. I even wore a bikini....in public....more than once. I was a little nervous about it at first and almost went to change, but sometimes stepping out of your comfort zone helps. I may not feel like I'm Queen Hot *kitten* anymore, but I feel a smidge better and I'll get there. So will you. So put that chin up, do the damn thing, and learn to love yourself, even if its a slow, uphill battle, I promise you'll get there.

Start with small changes, like drinking more water vs sugary drinks.

Feel free to send me an add if you want, maybe some accountability friends will help ya. I know it helped me a lot my first time around.