Bummed....

Johnnyswife · August 2011

A so called friend of mine from NC is getting married. She met the guy here in Cali while visiting us. I had taken a week off work and got a bunch of stuff for her visit and my husband told his friend about her and set up a time when they could meet. They hit it off and started flying out to see each other, and over the course of the next year and a half, got engaged and are getting married in September.

Since they started dating, she's been here seveal times and she's made no effort to contact me. To be fair we moved to the next town over, but our phone numbers didn't change. Her fiance asked us out to dinner once but since than, I've had no idea when she's visited..

Apparenty they are had a reception here in town and her fiance texted my hubby to tell him about it and said we should have gotten an invite, yet we never got one and missed getting to go, since I had to work.

I don't think she owes me anything and not trying to start a fight..I know people change, especially when you fall in love and get preoccupied with a wedding to plan, and a new life to start. I am just sad over how different things are and have this feeling I'll never see her when she moves here.

I am not going to say anything and just be paitent. If we are still meant to be friends, she'll find her way back, and if she outgrew me, than I guess I learned from having her as a friend. Meantime, I need to pick out her wedding gift and get it sent off before the big day. Its probably going to be a gift card so she won't have something else to pack. lol

Sorry for the meaningless vent...:flowerforyou:

chevy88grl · August 2011

I don't think it is a meaningless vent. Your feelings are hurt over the loss of a friend. That isn't meaningless.

Yes, we all grow and change. Sometimes when that happens our needs and wants change and our friendships change. But, it sounds to me like she's being a wee bit rude. I mean... no, she doesn't owe you anything but if she's been in town multiple times would it hurt her to send you a text and ask you if you'd like to do lunch? Meet for drinks? Or even just have them both come over for a bbq? No. It really wouldn't.

Unfortunately, we can not change other people. Send the gift. Wish them well. And then go about your life. If your friendship is meant to last - she'll find her way back. If not, then she wasn't worth your time.

SimplyDeLish · August 2011

You are far more considerate than I am....if I wasn't invited, I'd have no incentive to purchase a gift. And if a "friend" doesn't bother to call or see you once in awhil. I'd say they are an acquintance...and not worth the energy to worry about the relationship.

Good luck!

hartsmart · August 2011

sometimes it helps just to get stuff off your chest. im not going to offer any help b/c i have a friend who gets mad at me if i don't visit even though if i do visit, it's b/c i've invited myself over, and she never calls to visit me even though she doesn't work, and i work 2 jobs. but i'm always the 'bad guy' and the reason we never see each other. some times you just have friends who can really push your buttons, i guess.

mea9 · August 2011

But, it sounds to me like she's being a wee bit rude.

^^this. If you're not invited are you supposed to get her a gift?

Marig0ld · August 2011

I'm sorry

That is tough. I'm in this situation right now where an acquaintance ("K"), whose fiance is really good friends with my boyfriend, invited my bf and I to her wedding. She is also best friends with my cousin, who is the maid of honor. My cousin told me that K would be sending me an invite to her bridal shower. Well, that date came and went, no invite, no nothing. I thought it was kind of rude that I was invited to the wedding and I wasn't invited to the shower even as a courtesy. We may not be BFFs but we all live in the same area and see each other a lot.

Sorry to ramble on about that...I guess what I'm trying to say is that I can't even imagine how you must feel, since this person used to be a good friend of yours! And I'm hurt that this was just a casual acquaintance that snubbed me. lol. Kinda hurts to be ignored like that. I'm glad you are handling it so maturely. (((hugs)))

Johnnyswife · August 2011

But, it sounds to me like she's being a wee bit rude.

^^this. If you're not invited are you supposed to get her a gift?

We got an invite to the wedding itself, even though its in NC and we can't afford to go. So I'll send a gift. Her and her mom really helped me through a really rough patch in my life when I was dealing with a lot of cruddy stuff. I'll always love them for being there for me.
Its just that the reception was friday and we didn't get an invite. Her finace texted us about it, but not the when and where or time. Not sure who gave it for them, but we didn't get invited.

mea9 · August 2011

But, it sounds to me like she's being a wee bit rude.

^^this. If you're not invited are you supposed to get her a gift?

We got an invite to the wedding itself, even though its in NC and we can't afford to go. So I'll send a gift. Her and her mom really helped me through a really rough patch in my life when I was dealing with a lot of cruddy stuff. I'll always love them for being there for me.
Its just that the reception was friday and we didn't get an invite. Her finace texted us about it, but not the when and where or time. Not sure who gave it for them, but we didn't get invited.

On the plus side The bride and groom clearly meant for you to be invited to the reception. I would let them know that you are thrilled for them, that you are sorry you can't attend the wedding and that you are really sorry you couldn't be at the reception and why. If they are real people you will hear from them. If you hear nothing send the gift and don't create a rift with a family you value but don't hang on to a relionship with a person who would do that to another person. It's just mean and who needs that.

Bummed....

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