how do i reach my goal without being obsessed and burned out?

candomble_3 · August 2019

HI Guys

I have been trying to lose weight for the past 3 years and achieved great results (lost 20kg) but i need to get rid off 8kg which are the most difficult one as i cant seem to lose them and each time im trying to i get obsessed and lose control.

I need support as the previous times when i nearly reached my goal i literally had a breakdown, i couldnt go to the gym i didnt find all those efforts worth taking and got severely depressed.

I dont know if anyone had felt the same, where you are going to reach your goal and start sabotaging for whichever reason?

if you have any tips would be great to share.

thanks guys

N

Siege_Tank · August 2019

How to reach your goals without being obsessed..

I have to say, there is a certain amount of obsession that goes into getting that cut look.. what you need to ask yourself is if this goal is really what you want, and what you are willing to give up to reach it. Are you dedicated to losing the baby fat and getting to the level of cut you want to see? If so.. nothing can stop you..

glovepuppet · August 2019

I'm not an expert, but it sounds like you've got some emotional weight you need to shift. Have you ever had any therapy?

elisa123gal · August 2019

I get burned out too. Im just so tired of "dieting" and thinking all the time about my food and fitness goals.

Yet, I've learned losing the weight.. it isn't how you feel that really matters, it is what you do. So, I can feel burned out - but I keep on doing the right thing..eating right to maintain. However ,taking a night or two off from my eating plan..gives me enough of a break ..but I never quit or binge. I just tell myself. yeah,. I feel burned out..but I'll get over it...

88olds · August 2019

I can only speak from my experience which is basically this- starting at 285 lbs, I lost to about 215 before getting stuck there. Finally, in desperation, I joined Weight Watchers. WW was really just calorie counting dressed up for copyright protection. But at WW I discovered tracking. Why had I been stuck? I was eating too much. They call it a journal and tracking at WW, food diary and logging here on MFP. I’ve done both now. It’s all the same. I blew right through my 200 lb goal, it was too high. I made my goal 184 lbs. My last WI yesterday was 170.4, I consider my maintenance weight now to be 170 lbs. I haven’t been highter than 186 in more than 10 years.

How? Tracking. I made goal and initially tracked for 5 years before I could maintain without it. I don’t track all the time now. But I keep fairly close watch on my weight. At this point if I tick over 172 for more than a few days I start up my MFP food diary and go to work. Even when I’m not tracking my food scale stays out on the counter.

Lately I notice a lot of people on here who are succeeding at weight loss kicking themselves for being obsessive. Am I obsessive? Maybe, probably. So what? I thought about food a lot and weighed 285. Now I think about food a lot and weigh 170. This is better.

I look at myself as living within some reasonable limits. Maybe there’s some sort of “naturally thin” autopilot out there folks think they can find. But I don’t expect to find it so I don’t put energy into looking for it or kicking myself for not finding it. I had a WW meeting leader who started worrying about being what she called “normal”. Then she started gaining weight. Lots of it.

Normal in this world looks more and more like overweight on the way to morbid obesity. I don’t want that.

My only advice to someone in your position is two things: keep tracking and never buck a downward trend. Keep tinkering with the numbers until the scale is going down and then give it time to work. Adjust when needed. Never quit tinkering and adjusting. When you find the program that’s working, defend it. If that means fighting your own brain, so be it. Push back. You’re just trying to find a way to live with some limits.

What is your life like on your plan? Do you feel deprived a lot? Are your relying on demanding workouts? Are you in a hurry? Slow down. Try to keep an atttitude of experimentation. Not much changes at goal weight. Maybe you’ll get to your GW and not like it. Only one way to find out. CICO works. Its science. Don’t kick yourself because you haven’t figured out the numbers in a way to live with it yet. Keep trying. You’ll get it.

theowlbox · August 2019

you have had some excellent replies! i would just add the following: i think your version of obsession means you get really perfectionistic about weight loss and that you're not able to maintain a lot of discomfort if you don't see what you want (ie. weight loss). (which makes total sense btw.) you are probably beating yourself up and breaking when you're at a low.
there are a lot of different things that could help you work around your issues, but the main issue is that you have some pretty gnarly feelings about yourself and your weight. the general solution is to work on feeling good at whatever weight you are. when you can see weight as a something you do and not a reflection on your worthiness as a person you can put weightloss where it belongs: more in the "project category". that way you can be healthfully obsessed with it in a way that helps you maintain your weight and not in a way your brain just uses against you to make you feel bad.

I am sending you all the best vibes and I hope you figure it out in a way that works best for you.

how do i reach my goal without being obsessed and burned out?

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