How to stay motivated

nm212 · August 2019

I’ve been on and off this dieting thing for many years... got myself down to 139lbs and floated around 145 for a while. Eventually it creeped up to the 150’s, which I maintained for a few years. But now, it’s way up to 172 lbs and I feel out of control! My clothes don’t fit me anymore and I’m very discouraged because I don’t feel like my lifestyle has changed THAT much, besides getting older... I’m 37 now (maybe my metabolism slowed down? Started in my 20’s and was much easier to lose). I know it comes down to diet, portions, and exercise... but how do I stay motivated when I’m doing all these things for months now & it’s not showing on the scale? I tried not weighing myself but that didn’t work either... I seem to give up easily now and go straight for sugar when I’m down. I know it’s bad but it’s been such a struggle I feel like giving up sometimes. If you can relate to what I’m going through or have any tips to stay on track, I’d be SO appreciative! It’s never been so hard for me before.... I just don’t know what to do anymore...

Yell at me if you to. Wake me up because I’m not seeing the light here. I’m going through the motions but I’m feeling so negative about it... I’m just not the positive, upbeat person I used to be and my self esteem has plummeted. I don’t feel sexy, I put myself down, I don’t want to wear a bathing suit, My stomach is so bloated I can’t even suck it in anymore... just getting anxious most of the time. I turn down invitations to party’s because I have nothing to wear... dresses are tight, nothing looks good or feels good... And I have NO excuses! I never had kids and any other logical reason to have gained so much over the past year.

I know I gotta shift my mindset. I just don’t know how to do it. I try yoga, which helps sometimes... I even listen to meditations with subliminal messages . This is my last attempt to find an answer... maybe reaching out to others will help. I’ve been silent for so long.

LyndaBSS · August 2019

I want to give you a hug and tell you not to worry. ❤

If you haven't already, read the stickies at the top of the getting started forum. Very informative and helpful.

Do you use a food scale?
Do you log your foods?
What type of foods do you eat?

We can help you. We just need more information.

gottswald · August 2019

You say you are trying for months and see no results. You say you get down and reach for 'the sugar'. Are you being consistent? Don't defeat yourself and use it to justify giving up. When I started this weight loss, I kept reading 'consistency is the key'. I thought, "that's easy, I've got this". Instead I feel panic at lack of progress too at times. I use those times to review my process. If you let yourself give up then you are letting yourself be defined by your discouragement, which sounds opposite of the person you are otherwise.

Examine your plan, adjust with the help of others and give yourself the effort you deserve.

spiriteagle99 · August 2019

I used to be on the diet yoyo as well, at about the same weight range. The problem with it is, it's not so huge that you feel fat until you really are fat. I remember the shock when I realized that I weighed 177, though I still was able to wear most of my clothes and, thanks to vanity sizing, I was still a size 10 even though I had gained 50 lbs.

What happened to me was I got mad and decided it was time to get serious and stop making excuses. I stopped eating out as often and got better about what I was cooking. I followed a low carb plan, which worked for me because my calories stayed pretty low. I got down to 135 lbs and stayed there for a while. I started running regularly and dropped down to 131. I was worried about regaining the weight I had lost, so I joined MFP and began logging. I ate my normal diet, but less of it. My weight dropped to 121. Between the running and being careful to stay close to my goal calories, I've maintained between 120-125 for about 5 years. (I'm 5' 6" and 62 years old.)

MFP works if you are consistent. Log everything, even if it puts you over your calories. You'll learn which foods are worth the extra calories and which are not. You'll figure out which foods you shouldn't keep in the house because you'll binge on them and which are safe to keep around as a treat. You'll figure out how many calories you burn with a one hour walk or run and stop overeating because you think you earned it.

emmamcgarity · August 2019

For me it’s not about motivation. It’s about habit forming and consistency. I recommend first to get in the habit of logging your food. Log it as accurately as you can even when over calories. Set small goals each week that are easily achieveable instead of trying to change too many things at once. If you continue to build habits that support weight loss it will happen. I’m learning that if I expect to keep the weight off once I reach maintenance that I’ll need to keep logging forever. I am ok with that. It’s a habit now and I’m only 7 lbs away from reaching s healthy BMI. I feel much more physically fit than I did over a year ago. It all started with logging that first meal and taking walks.

Podcasts help me stay focused. I particularly like WhysAdvice by Fatdag and Half Size Me.

wildrosewood · August 2019

Your post really struck me, because it reminds me so much of my own weight loss journey. In college I lost a little bit of weight (the freshman 15, but opposite!), and was in the 130s. But in the years following, I've pretty much been bouncing around between 145 and 155. At least, until last winter when I got up to 163. I remember checking a BMI chart on a whim, and realizing that I was no longer overweight. I was obese. That realization, coupled with a particularly unflattering photo of me at a Christmas party, have been my motivation these past 7 months. I decided that what I had been doing hadn't been working long-term for me, and so I had to make a change. I made a promise to myself. I promised that I would keep trying to get to a healthy weight. I promised that no matter what, I would keep trying.

And so I tried. I tried intermittent fasting. I watched a bunch of videos on youtube about people's weightloss journeys. I logged my calories. When I got burnt out from logging calories, I kept trying other things. I went a month without added sugar (it was slightly miserable). Walking. Bodyweight exercises. One helpful thing that did make a difference for me was recognizing the difference between feeling hungry and "feeling hungry" (AKA just wanting to eat). Basically, the point is that I haven't been perfect, and I haven't found a magic cure, and I haven't been consistent with any one thing, but I also HAVE NOT GIVEN UP. I'm now back to 150 lbs, and I plan to continue to not give up. Ever. I'm back to tracking calories, as long as that's working for me mentally. (I know it works physically, I always have great success with it, but I have gotten sick of keeping up with it in the past).

Something that's been fantastic for my attitude and self-esteem recently has been this point system that I set up for myself. Basically, anytime I do something good I give myself a point. Eat a vegetable? Point. Drink a glass of water? Point. Go for a walk? Five points. Go for a hike? Ten points. You get the idea. The when I reach 100 points (or whatever my goal is) I can go buy whatever frivilous cute notebook or totally unnessesary new pack of pens I want. The caveat was this: I do not lose points for doing things you think are "bad". I ate ice cream for breakfast? Oh well. I don't get points like I would have if I'd chosen to eat a fruit or something more substantial and nutritious. I missed my morning walk? Oh well. I could have earned five points, but I didn't. But I deliberately chose not to take points away from myself for doing things that I want to avoid doing. No guilt. No shame. No failure. There is literally no way to fail except by doing absolutely nothing good. So I keep moving forward. It sometimes feels in the moment like our bad choices undo the good decisions that we make, but I haven't actually found that to be the case. And feeling guilty or worried or upset or discouraged isn't going to help you one bit. My little point system is a bit of a childish method of teaching myself to do good things and focus on the good, but it's actually been really beneficial to me, so I thought it was worth at least mentioning.

Sorry I've been rambling on, but I hope that something here helps. Here's a quick summary of the advice yhat I'd give you:

1. Don't give up. KEEP TRYING.
2. Learn. Try new things. Listen to what works for other people and figure out what works for your body.
3. Find a way to focus on the good you're doing.

lgfrie · August 2019

No, you're not seeing the light but I won't yell at you haha However, I will shine a giant kleig light on the problem for you, based on my own experience, for whatever tiny, tiny amount that is worth.

Trying to figure out "how to stay motivated" isn't the right way to look at it. It assumes that whatever diet you're on is unpleasant enough that you have to find a way to suffer through it. That is already a set-up for failure. You will stay motivated if the diet is easy and pleasant; you will not need any special motivation. You will just do it, because it feels doable and gives you certain foods or treats that make it all worthwhile.

So, step 1, use MFP's goals tool and put in 1/2 lb/week or 1 lb/week to see how many calories you should be eating per day. Obviously it is best not to go off the rails trying to lose massive weight per week while you're just getting used to things. You can always increase the weight loss goal later.

Then, here are two questions to chew on:

1. WHAT do you like to eat
2. WHEN do you like to eat

Put aside all the dumb propaganda from online diet evangelists who preach that you have to eat 70 % fat or have apple cider vinegar in the morning or whatever, and just think about what you love to eat. Make a list if you want: the ten top things you truly love. I mean really crave. Obviously since you are trying to be healthy, putting down KitKat bars and cheesecake isn't really the idea, but sure, include something really junky that you need once in a while too.

You may not get to eat all of those things in the coming week. Maybe collectively they can't all fit into one week, based on your daily calorie target from MFP. Fine. But some of them can be fit in. Or many of them, but in portion-controlled quantities. Surely you'd be willing to have half as much of something you love in order to be able to eat it.

Just trying to help you get out of the mindset of suffering through "diet" food to lose weight. Because no amount of motivation can get someone to eat diet gruel for more than a month or two. Maybe you love lasagna above everything else in life, but a 1,000 calorie massive piece of lasagna can't work with your MFP number. Fine. Cut it in half. Push those "healthy diet" meals to the side of the fridge, to make room for a decent sized piece of lasagna, and enjoy it, savoring every forkful.

So you love sugar. Well, sugar isn't very good for you, but fine. Allot yourself 100 calories a day for a sugary snack. That's reasonable, right? You can have half a candy bar, or a couple of Dove chocolates, or whatever. Very satisfying. Have that every single day. Ignore people who tell you to replace that half a Snickers Almond bar with an apple. Apples don't taste like Snicker bars and we all know it. Enjoy your 100 calories of junk food. Have it every day, at a special time of the day when you can really savor and appreciate it, not while driving or in between work tasks.

Then think about WHEN you want to eat. A lot of people are constantly snacking throughout the day, the 6 meals thing. That's fine, but it gnaws away at your caloric allotment and leaves you with few calories for real meals. Another way to approach it is, 3 square meals and NO snacks - then every single calorie can go into meals of your very favorite foods. Or you could go even further, into intermittent fasting, and do a lunch and dinner and nothing else -- then you will have a LOT of calories to work with, twice a day, and can go to town stuffing yourself with all those foods you love. There are a lot of choices, but the WHEN question can really help you focus.

So, do that for a week. Eat only stuff you love, in the right quantities of course, so you don't exceed that MFP number.

You might find that you don't like something about what you just did. Maybe you need more smaller meals, or fewer large ones, or more meat or more carbs, or 150 calories a day for sugary snacks instead of 100. Maybe you're not getting enough food, so increase your quota by 100 calories a day and diet a little slower. Adjust everything based on what you need to feel good about this.

And then keep fine-tuning.

Then you will not need "motivation" because you will just be happy on your diet.

There is no amount of motivation that will make someone voluntarily suffer over a long period of time. Yoga won't do it, nor will meditation or reading self-help books or joining a keto group. The key is to not suffer in the first place. And that is accomplished, mainly, by eating foods you love.

kimny72 · August 2019

The key for me was coming up with a plan that I didn't need to be motivated to stick to.

My main goal is my calorie goal. I try to prioritize protein, fiber, and produce. But I still eat pizza, fast food, ice cream, etc whenever I can fit it in my calories. I don't eat food I don't like. I don't do exercise that makes me miserable. I focused on building healthy habits around food and activity I enjoyed. Making logging (and often prelogging) a habit I don't even think about anymore, it just happens, was big.

Check out the Most Helpful Posts threads pinned to the top of each sub-forum, lots of great info there. Hang in there - what you need is a mindset shift and you can do it

nm212 · August 2019

Thanks so much everyone. I binged on pizza tonight and now feeling miserable again. Ugh 😑 I’m gonna start fresh tomorrow. It’s a shame cause I was good all day before that! My boyfriend tempted me but that’s not an excuse.... arghh . New start tomorrow. I’m definitely gonna read all your suggestions again and try not to beat myself up over it. 💕 Hope you all have a wonderful night

How to stay motivated

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