Anyone currently recovering from an eating disorder and an adult?

I am a single mom, I don't promote eating disorders so I wont get into graphics but basically I struggled with bulimia since the age of 13 and was always still (thick). During my marriage (now divorced) I gained 100 pounds, after my divorce I lost those 100 pounds and honest to goodness thought I was being healthy. I am still overweight to be honest so my diagnosis has been confusing to me. I went from bulimia, which many are overweight and bulimic to bing eating disorder then I lost 100 pounds in 5 months and while being over weight somehow they still categorized me as endos/anorexic. I dont know why this diagnosis made me so confused and mad, maybe it is because im 30 getting the diagnosis when I thought I was doing great! At 13 it is a bit easier to get understanding for an eating disorder.

I guess I am just looking for guidance, MFP is great because I can easily tell if I am getting a 400 calorie day of my full 1,000 cals. . . .sometimes I honestly did not realize that my nibble here and there did not count up to much. Right now I am using it for tracking, trying to not really pay attention to my weight loss, I have another 35 or so to lose before I am where my doctor said I could be safely. I didn't realize how hard consuming is after screwing my tummy up with purging and restricting. I am very methodical and a cart/numbers person (I work in an office with numbers all day) so if anyone has a tip or trick to eat healthy (I dont want to trigger myself by eating bad or too much/too little and then give up)

Before anyone jumps to hey you need therapy lol, I just want you to know I have been actively in therapy since my divorce, I was a domestic violence victim and a psych major (yes we have issues too) and they suggested MFP as part of my recovery, I know it is weird to say you have disordered eating but need to still lose weight which may be the confusing part for me, how do I do that without being extreme? thanks for all the advice and kind words :)

Replies

  • 150poundsofme
    150poundsofme Posts: 523 Member
    Hugs
  • corinasue1143
    corinasue1143 Posts: 7,469 Member
    I know nothing about eating disorders, except they are real, serious, and can be dangerous. I wish you the best!
  • kahlie1
    kahlie1 Posts: 16 Member
    MikePTY wrote: »
    Thank you for sharing your story. I do not claim to be an expert on eating disorders, but I imagine your current diagnosis did not come from your weight, but rather the rapid way in which you lost it. 100 pounds in 5 months is about 5 pounds a week, which is 2 and a half times the high end of of healthy weight loss, which is 2 pounds a week. To do so, you were likely restricting your intake very heavily, and eating far below was what considered safe. That I imagine is where the diagnosis came from, not you're weight.

    There is no shame in being diagnosed with an eating disorder as an adult. It is a disease, just like any other disease, and can affect men and woman of any age. It is certainly not just a teenage disease. In fact I am willing to bet there are a fair amount of adults here suffering from EDs who are undiagnosed, in part because of the stigma around them. But there shouldn't be a stigma around them. Having one does not in any way reflect on you as a person. That you have gotten a diagnosis and are seeking treatment medically and emotionally is a positive thing.

    One thing I wanted to ask about is your 1000 calorie a day goal. Is that something you set for yourself, or did your doctor set that for you? I ask because while 1000 is certainly better than 400, it is still usually considered too low for healthy weight loss. Now if a doctor set it as part of your ED treatment, I certainly don't want to step on them. But if not it is something worth considering.

    One other area to consider is maybe seeing if there is a registered dietician in your area who specializes in eating disorders. They might be able to help you with an eating plan that is attainable and still meets your needs.


    Thanks so much for being understanding, my doctor wants a minimum of 1,000 a day, which I agree should be minimum but up to 1,400 is just fine too!! At present I am still struggling most days to hit 1,000 . . .though I am getting better and have many days I eat over that and choose not to log so I dont feel unneeded guilt :) As I am serious about recovery if I do have a problem.


    I am currently for this month not logging calories and just eating large amounts of whole foods (knowing in my head they are good for me) also currently my goal is to weigh myself only once a day if daily but I aim for a weekly check in only

    Just trying to take focus off of dieting and just eat larger amounts of good food and see what my body does.

    Thanks for pointing out the stigma, and yes I aim to be a "perfect" mom so it felt insulting to be diagnosed, though I am still dealing with this privately for the most part, it is nice to know other adults dont judge someone who is actively trying to get help :)
  • kahlie1
    kahlie1 Posts: 16 Member
    Hugs

    thanks so much, hugs to you too friend :)
  • kahlie1
    kahlie1 Posts: 16 Member
    I know nothing about eating disorders, except they are real, serious, and can be dangerous. I wish you the best!

    thank you friend :)
    I am doing my best t take it seriously as I have had disordered eating for over half my life now . . .I just want to eat and not feel bad about it lol :) any food suggestions I am gladly trying :) without guilt
  • grimendale
    grimendale Posts: 2,194 Member
    I struggled with orthorexia (a form of anorexia characterized by an obsession with exercise and limiting "unhealthy" food) shortly after college. I'd been fat my entire life, and after college, I was living with a roommate who'd been the same and we both wanted to lose weight. We also, as it turns out, had undiagnosed neurological conditions (autism, in my case), which made us easily given to obsession, especially as we had both gone vegan for unrelated reasons. It got really bad for a while, I got exhausted and felt ill all the time, and I ended up abandoning all healthy eating and swinging to the other end of the pendulum. It took working with a therapist and a dietician to get me on the right track, although now I'm good using just MFP. There's a wealth of good information here (I had a lot of really inaccurate beliefs about weight loss and health), and the ability to track macros, micros, and exercise has really helped me to get my weight under control in a safe, sustainable way. If you're weighing yourself daily, I'd recommend using an app like Libra that will smooth out the trend line and give you a better idea of long term change so you don't get derailed by short term fluctuations.
  • kahlie1
    kahlie1 Posts: 16 Member
    I am so glad to hear it helps you! thanks for sharing your story!! I honestly love MFP because it makes me see . . .like what I am really eating. I only stop tracking when I notice that hitting a larger number of calories bothers me because I truly do want to eat 1,000 or more a day without the guilt haha

    But it was a huge tool for me in seeing my behavior, comparing to "normal people diarys" really helped me not fee guilt and made me feel very normal here.

    I don't feel accepted at my group therapy because I am like 30 pounds over weight still lol, so it is really weird to be like Hi I have an eating disorder LMFAO
  • wwood008
    wwood008 Posts: 30 Member
    I would say speaking with an RD who specializes in eating disorders would be the best option. If you're binging and restricting it might not be the best idea to label foods as "healthy or unhealthy" but focus rather on how the food makes you feel. The same with weighing yourself, if you can look at the scale and see it from an outside perspective, great. If the number on the scale is leading to binging, purging, or restrictive behavior, you should take a break from it and get back to focusing on your body and taking care of yourself rather than focusing on a number.
  • LyndaBSS
    LyndaBSS Posts: 6,971 Member
  • emilylittle322
    emilylittle322 Posts: 2 Member
    kahlie1 wrote: »
    I am a single mom, I don't promote eating disorders so I wont get into graphics but basically I struggled with bulimia since the age of 13 and was always still (thick). During my marriage (now divorced) I gained 100 pounds, after my divorce I lost those 100 pounds and honest to goodness thought I was being healthy. I am still overweight to be honest so my diagnosis has been confusing to me. I went from bulimia, which many are overweight and bulimic to bing eating disorder then I lost 100 pounds in 5 months and while being over weight somehow they still categorized me as endos/anorexic. I dont know why this diagnosis made me so confused and mad, maybe it is because im 30 getting the diagnosis when I thought I was doing great! At 13 it is a bit easier to get understanding for an eating disorder.

    I guess I am just looking for guidance, MFP is great because I can easily tell if I am getting a 400 calorie day of my full 1,000 cals. . . .sometimes I honestly did not realize that my nibble here and there did not count up to much. Right now I am using it for tracking, trying to not really pay attention to my weight loss, I have another 35 or so to lose before I am where my doctor said I could be safely. I didn't realize how hard consuming is after screwing my tummy up with purging and restricting. I am very methodical and a cart/numbers person (I work in an office with numbers all day) so if anyone has a tip or trick to eat healthy (I dont want to trigger myself by eating bad or too much/too little and then give up)

    Before anyone jumps to hey you need therapy lol, I just want you to know I have been actively in therapy since my divorce, I was a domestic violence victim and a psych major (yes we have issues too) and they suggested MFP as part of my recovery, I know it is weird to say you have disordered eating but need to still lose weight which may be the confusing part for me, how do I do that without being extreme? thanks for all the advice and kind words :)

    Hi!

    Your story is soooo similar to mine that it's crazy! Except I was first diagnosed with anorexia, then bulimia and have struggled with both since about 15. I'm 32 now. Add me as a friend big you like for support? :)
  • emilylittle322
    emilylittle322 Posts: 2 Member
    *if* not big. Stupid phone and it won't let me edit 😩😩
  • ilovekiwis
    ilovekiwis Posts: 17 Member
    You're not alone. Try to incorporate nutritionally dense foods into what you would normally eat to get enough calories. Getting the most our of what you eat basically, even if increasing the volume remains challenging. Greek yogurt, avocados, nuts/seeds, and sweet potatoes are some of my favorites.
  • DaniellaaLouise
    DaniellaaLouise Posts: 33 Member
    I was diagnosed with Ednos as a teenager, due to my cycles of fasting for days and binge/purging. I put on around 70lbs between the age of 20 and 24. Still with my unhealthy eating habits and was then diagnosed as Bulimic. However, since therapists have realised I rarely binge, they've changed the diagnosis to Purging disorder. Essentially very similar, I just purge small amounts of food too (half a sandwich, a small meal etc) many times a day. I've been working on food that doesn't trigger me, believe me there's alot! 'Clean' eating helps, I'm better with cold food too, all sounds weird I bet! I know how tough all of this is and if you ever want to chat, feel free to add me and send me a message! Take care x