Binge Shame

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muffintopminx
muffintopminx Posts: 541 Member
in Food and Nutrition
I've not had an honest-to-god binge session in over 4 months... until last night. It wasn't a great day - started with a birthday breakfast for my hubby and even though it wasn't healthy, I still managed to come in under my calories at the end of the day (7pm). I was totally fine and content until around 10pm. My husband got a piece of the Key Lime Pie I made for him, then he went to take a shower. While he was in the shower I got a small piece of the pie and ate it as fast as I could (in secret!) then I ran back to the fridge and found this other dessert I made last week (Almond Pear Galette) grabbed the last two pieces, smothered them in cool whip and toasted coconut and ate them at lightening speed. Then I washed my dishes and pretended like nothing happened. The sad part was I was not the slightest bit hungry - I just wanted what I couldn't have and turned into a MONSTER.

I was so ashamed I couldn't even bring myself to log it. I intended to hide it from everyone, including MFP, until I woke up this morning and decided that I needed to face the music, own it, work thru it and not start a cylce of lying on MFP, where I'd only be hurting myself. So I logged the binge and it's not pretty.

Why did I ruin my perfectly good day??? Especially after feeling guilty for having two gut bomb birthday dinners for my husband this same week where I was over 1000+ calories. So this week has been horrible (3 days WAAAAAAY over on calories) and using hubby's bday as an excuse, actually, I have no excuse for the binge last night.

And did I mention I haven't worked out in 3 straight days! Since I started my journey (4 months ago) I have NEVER gone 3 days without exercise. What's happening to me??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????

So today I'm starting fresh and rededicating myself. I feel so much guilt and shame and just want to make up for it and then some. Oh and I'm not weighing myself until next week. I'm too scared to see the damage on the scale.

Replies

  • Visser1971
    Visser1971 Posts: 131
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    I find that when I have sugar (or something sweet) I am more inclined to grab something when not hungry (also sweet) than on days where I just stay away. Once I knew that, it was easier to just tell myself no at 10 pm!

    But you have a good attitude, you have been very good for 4 months! Don't let it get you down, just move on :-)

    Cheers, Christy
  • nomorefatbitch
    nomorefatbitch Posts: 279
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    I think most of us have had days - or weeks - like this.

    Don't beat yourself up over this.

    It happened. It's done. Move on.

    (I kinda had a day like that yesterday, too.)

    We are (gasp!) human :):)
  • Crystal_Pistol
    Crystal_Pistol Posts: 750 Member
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    Shake off the guilt and shame baby! Unfortunately, we suffer from this disease called human. The guilt and shame feed the binges. I would suggest meditating, going back to that moment mentally, and reviewing what you were feeling. It may take a while, but if you are honest, you'll see it. Bingeing is never about hunger, it is emotional. Don't give it more fuel by feeding it with the negative emotions. You don't have to recommit, you just have to move on to the next day.

    Wishing you the best!
  • jnettiedotson
    jnettiedotson Posts: 163
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    It's all good, I've done that a FEW times. Just drink a lot of water and stay active, I bet the scale won't change....you can do it, I promise! My doctor diagnosed me with compulsive binging disorder years ago, so I did this almost everyday of my life and have stopped. I was always doing it when hubz was in the shower or something too, LOL. Now I binge on salt water taffy if I have to, it's only 110 calories per 4 pieces and by the time I'm done my jaw hurts too much to chew anything else :). A suggestion if you have calories left and you feel the need! Good luck!
  • jonniemarie1
    jonniemarie1 Posts: 77 Member
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    aw don't feel bad about it... overeating is okay, you just need to know how to get back on track! Sweets ALWAYS trigger me to binge and eat when i'm not even hungry!!!!
  • trud72
    trud72 Posts: 1,912 Member
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    LOL if you think you are seriously the only one on this site that has done that then slap my *kitten* and call me dixy!!(sorry bout that)!lol

    i have been there and done it and got the t/shirt for it and i probally will again too,,, my worst time is over ovualtion time(day 15 of cycle) for about 3 days! grrrr
    just try to strip out the house as much as you can of rubbish food! i know it's not easy with other halfs and kids! don't leave food on show at all and try to keep yourself busy if you feel yourself falling for it always stick to your hubby like glue that way you can't secret eat! thats what i do
    good luck and just make sure you don't let it pull you down....
  • ClareB1974
    ClareB1974 Posts: 224 Member
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    I find that when I have sugar (or something sweet) I am more inclined to grab something when not hungry (also sweet) than on days where I just stay away. Once I knew that, it was easier to just tell myself no at 10 pm!

    But you have a good attitude, you have been very good for 4 months! Don't let it get you down, just move on :-)

    Cheers, Christy

    +1 - if i eat anything sugary, it seems to just snowball and I crave more and more sugar. I've just eaten a handful of raisins as a snack, but I know that in about half an hour, I shall fancy something else as they're quite sugary too :( I'm going to fight it and say 'NO', but it's not easy.

    Well done for logging it all as well, once you start acknowledging it and logging it, it's a bit easier to say no :)
  • audram420
    audram420 Posts: 838 Member
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    I did this last night...I felt like I did horrible! but I drank lots of water and the scale even showed loss this morning. Last weekend I did the same thing and again drank lots of water the next day and watched what I ate and by Monday I had not lost or gained any weight, which was good for as much as I ate and drank.

    Don't get upset, just don't give up!
  • htebaram
    htebaram Posts: 120 Member
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    We all have days like that, we're only human! Had you stopped and savored the first piece of pie, you may not have wanted the other two deserts. In theory anyway!:flowerforyou:
  • rachrach66
    rachrach66 Posts: 271 Member
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    I had a horrible day yesterday but I know I can start fresh today.
  • Rae6503
    Rae6503 Posts: 6,294 Member
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    Don't beat yourself up. We've all done it. It's not a big deal. One day, or even a few days shouldn't cause that much of a set back. Just vow to do better today. I've found that the key to successful dieting is getting back on it. Previously I'd mess up and start over "next week" or "next month". It didn't start working until I started over the very next day.

    And next time allow yourself the one small piece so that you aren't "wanting what you cant' have". You CAN have it, just in small portions.
  • SueGremlin
    SueGremlin Posts: 1,066 Member
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    judging from what's in your diary, it's not that bad. It's good that you logged it all.
    Put it into perspective: You need to eat 500 extra calories to "break even" if you are on a 1 lb per week plan.

    You didn't really do that poorly, no shame in being human! Today is a brand new day.
  • londoneye
    londoneye Posts: 192 Member
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    Well done for logging it. A lot of people just write it off, but I think these occasions are THE most important days to log. It is by seeing the cold hard reality of those red numbers that you are forced to face reality. Sometimes logging as you eat during a binge can slow you down and force you to reconsider what you are doing too, but either way, being honest with yourself is the key. Well done!

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