I Feel Like Crap Right Now.

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Pinkturnip
Pinkturnip Posts: 21 Member
in Motivation and Support
I fell off the wagon and I’m trying to get back on track again. I’ve always been between like 50kg and 55. A few months back my weight went up to 58 and I started panicking. I gained so much fat and I felt weird. I’m back to 55 and the mass according to the body pod I did is basically muscles. So I lost weight and gained muscles but my fat is still like 30 or 33. I want to drop the fat level.

Anyway to cut a long story short. I’ve been working really really really hard for a month now. The first couple of weeks I dropped a lot. Now I’m comparing my pictures and I look the same. It always happens. I just seem to stop. My legs and arms and abs definitely shaped and I feel fit but it’s not moving past that mark I feel.

Do I just give up and say it’s how my body is like? Although when I look back at my pictures I know this is not how my body shape is. I’m 38. It’s my birthday this week. I feel like crying. I just want to be at a point where I don’t stress over my weight. I know I’m fit. I know I’m not overweight but I want to feel confident again. I want to enjoy eating deserts and not worry over every bit.

It’s so friggin hard dragging myself out of bed every other day at 6am. I swear sometimes it feels soooooo hard I wrestle back and forth literally dragging myself like hell outside the door.

And now I just finished my workout and I’m thinking. What’s the point?

I guess I wanna hear motivation. Or someone to tell me to keep going :(

Replies

  • Pinkturnip
    Pinkturnip Posts: 21 Member
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    I think I’m unhappy cuz I realize at this age it’s harder to burn fat compared to my 20s and early 30s. I don’t want to keep working out this hard as I get older. I would like to do walking, Pilates or yoga or light stuff instead of this strenuous workout. It feels good but it’s so stressful. I’m also not enjoying my life. I’m not enjoying food. I can’t order my favorite cake or eat the food I like. I’m obsessing and stressing. Maybe it’s aging.

    I also am not used to feeling fat on my body. It’s all new to me. I can’t stand feeling heavy patches here and there. Or feeling this difficulty breathing going up steps or moving around.

    Is this part of aging? Or low endurance. Am I having unrealistic expectations for growing older?
  • Pinkturnip
    Pinkturnip Posts: 21 Member
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    Elfin, I am cranking up the speed because I feel I want to get it out of the way and done with. I worry if I tone it down a bit I will slack off like before :/
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,713 Member
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    Pinkturnip wrote: »
    Elfin, I am cranking up the speed because I feel I want to get it out of the way and done with. I worry if I tone it down a bit I will slack off like before :/

    You're making yourself miserable! Health and happiness are important. A healthy lifestyle should be a positive way of life, not a list of inflexible goals to suffer through and get over and done with.

  • Alzzi_2
    Alzzi_2 Posts: 2,149 Member
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    **hugs**
  • Pinkturnip
    Pinkturnip Posts: 21 Member
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    Glovepuppet, I know that's true. It's just hard doing it :(

    Alzzi, thank you so much! That was actually heartwarming.
  • Alzzi_2
    Alzzi_2 Posts: 2,149 Member
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    Pinkturnip wrote: »
    Glovepuppet, I know that's true. It's just hard doing it :(

    Alzzi, thank you so much! That was actually heartwarming.

    I am glad, we all look good on the outside but underneath, most of us have lots of worries and difficult situations. At the end of the day,.. we have each other and to encourage is the best and we over come what's bringing humanity down. We are going to fight the fight. All of us. No one wants to be treated wrong etc and live bad lives, so we are going to help each other to get through.

    Sending u peace vibes
  • annliz23
    annliz23 Posts: 3,305 Member
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    It is hard add some friends and they will motivate you.
  • nighthawk584
    nighthawk584 Posts: 1,996 Member
    edited August 2019
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    My first 30 lbs off, I looked fatter than before losing.
    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10757883/60-lb-weight-loss-since-april-6-2019
    don't give up the fight, you will get better! Stay positive
  • ChickieBoom22
    ChickieBoom22 Posts: 78 Member
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    If you’re miserable with your workouts, and it sounds like you are, you are much more likely to quit altogether. It would be better for you to find some form of exercise that you enjoy and focus more on what you’re eating.

    I have a friend who counts calories everyday but gives herself a cheat day. That seems to really keep her from feeling deprived. She knows that on that cheat day she can have cake or ice cream or whatever she’s craving. She still tracks the calories and she doesn’t do anything insane but she allows herself to eat what she likes on this day.

    Cheat days don’t work for me because I’m a binge eater and it’s really easy for a cheat day to turn into a cheat month but I’m ok with it.

    Working out will change your body shape but if you’re not seeing a change in fat it might be time to look at what you’re eating and make some changes there.

    I wasn’t really enjoying my workouts until I found a spin class that I loved and started taking a stretching class. I do weightlifting too but I can’t do that all the time. I need classes to keep it fun.

    Good luck 🍀
  • Pinkturnip
    Pinkturnip Posts: 21 Member
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    Thank you so much guys. This really helped.

    Nighthawk, wow... great job! You make me feel embarrassed now being 10 years younger and talking like I'm older. I hope I grow older motivated like you. It's really inspiring.

    ChickieBoom, I do enjoy my workouts. I love almost every kind of sport. I love breaking a sweat. I love cardio, I am also starting to like strength training. So it's not the not liking part that affects me. It's just over time, I feel tired and keeping it up is hard (not because I don't like it) but it's because I find it stressful.

    Back in my 20s, I used to eat literally everything in front of me and not gain a thing. Now I feel if I eat a snickers bar, I swear I'm not exaggerating when I say I wake up the next morning I feel the added weight or fat somewhere in my body. I'm just not used to my body acting like this. My life is already difficult as it is, I never imagined my weight would add more to my depression. Anyway, it's my birthday I shouldn't be ruminating about this more.

    You're right though, group classes are a huge motivator. I just wish the gyms in my area had early morning group classes. Everyone sleeps apparently and the earliest class is like at 11 or 10 :/
  • pondee629
    pondee629 Posts: 2,469 Member
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    "I Feel Like Crap Right Now" This, too, will pass.
  • elisa123gal
    elisa123gal Posts: 4,287 Member
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    I find less is more when it comes to dieting and working out. ...you exhaust yourself trying to out exercise a bad diet. You can and will lose weight. It will happen. I agree with the guy up there who said to start being kinder to yourself. You just have to change the way you eat. and yes, that's a big deal..but it can be done and you'll find you end up enjoy clean healthy food over junk food. As for exercise.. it helps but isn't necessary to lose weight. ..and really it helps most to maintain once you've lost.
    But just do what you enjoy and don't burn yourself out by over exercising. I only lift weights twice a week. I decided I don't want to live in the gym. Guess what? I am actually toning up just fine doing it only twice a week.

    Just stick with it... find a way to make it easier and work for you so you don't feel like crap. :)

  • Pinkturnip
    Pinkturnip Posts: 21 Member
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    Thank you so much. Everyone has been so kind with their words. Will take it all into consideration. Will keep striving
  • maevven
    maevven Posts: 2 Member
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    Hi Pinkturnip! I'm really sorry you're feeling overwhelmed with the changes in life right now. From what you've said, it sounds like this isn't so much about weight as it is about perspective. As we go through life, our bodies will look different - not better or worse, just different. And if we're caught up on comparing to the past with photos and whatnot, it can become easy to be very harsh with ourselves.
    For me, the way out of this was to shift my focus from how I looked to how I felt. From appearance to health. Now, I want to eat the food that's curated to give me strength and power, to make me feel like I can handle the day with grace and fortitude. I also began using this website called Headspace after someone recommended it. It's a meditation website/app that guides you through a short meditation every day, and it has really helped me feel stable and curb negative thoughts and habits. It's been so worth my time, and I think it could be just the thing to help you with the stress and self-image problems.

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