How to be positive about the future...

kds10
kds10 Posts: 452 Member
edited December 22 in Chit-Chat
Since I turned 50 I find I am doom and gloom about the future in particular seeing my parents aging and kind of depressed about them not being here one day...especially mom as I was close to her parents but when they passed away as hard as it was at least I still had that link with them thru my mom as she lives where they lived now and where many happy times were spent and are still spent.

Sometimes I think about many years down the road and wondering what it will be like...I even imagine myself when I am 90 and mom and grandparents are many years gone and I can't even imagine that.

I don't know why I keep dwelling on this and hope to snap out of it soon. I keep telling myself to just enjoy now but can't seem to stop thinking about the future and the inevitables....

Replies

  • cbstewart88
    cbstewart88 Posts: 453 Member
    edited August 2019
    I don't know you - or anything specific about your circumstances (married? kids? grandkids? siblings? pets? etc.). Do you have a history of depression? Do you exercise? (Exercise helps immensely with state of mind...)

    I am 64. These last 15 or so years have been the best of my life. My parents are still alive (94 and 84 years old) and will be gone someday. I have come to terms with that. Having said this - this is the time of life that we all yearn to reach. The 50s are somewhat of a milestone. It is the time of life for YOU!! Traveling, exciting adventures, the time to learn something new: challenge the mind, body and spirit, spread your wings, see what you're made of.... If you tend to obsess about the future - plan some cool stuff for it - a big trip or something. It is hard to spin on the doom and gloom of what's down the line if you have adventures and goals to look forward to..

    You say you can't imagine yourself at 90. When I was 20, I couldn't imagine myself at 40. When I was 50, I couldn't imagine myself at 64. I think we all feel that way. Half the fun of aging is seeing where we end up!! I can't imagine myself at 90 now either. My only hope is that I reach it!!! What a gift that would be!!!

    You will always carry with you the spirit and memories of those you love when they are gone. They are a part of you. But it is such a waste of the short time we have on this planet to dwell on what was or what might be. LIVE your life with appreciation for what you have at this moment. It is all that any of us are guaranteed....





  • kds10
    kds10 Posts: 452 Member
    Love what you wrote! No history of depression but I tend to ruminate a lot and think negative thoughts so maybe some mild depression I guess.

    I do exercise and take care of myself for sure.

    I think sometimes I think when bad stuff happens I will not be able to handle it but I have to realize that I have been thru bad stuff before and handled it...I think right now I am thinking about all the bad stuff that will happen, losing people, etc. but everybody goes thru that! It is almost like I am focusing on the bad right now and not the good!
  • pizzamyheart
    pizzamyheart Posts: 1,836 Member
    Maybe focus on making today the best day and don’t worry about the future? Good luck.
  • kds10
    kds10 Posts: 452 Member
    I think I have to change my thinking for sure:)
  • LyndaBSS
    LyndaBSS Posts: 6,964 Member
    I try to live for today. If I live in the past, it would be a sad existence as I lost my husband, the love of my life, last year. I don't know what's coming up in the future so why focus on the unknown?

    I take my healthier lifestyle journey and my life, in general, one day at a time.
  • rosebarnalice
    rosebarnalice Posts: 3,488 Member
    My mother is 92, and has had some serious health problems of late. But I find more inspiration from her advancing years about my own future (I'm 58) than I find doom or gloom.

    Since she retired at age 65, she has had a debilitating stroke and recovered from it to the point that you'd never know she had a stroke; she's lost both breasts to cancer ("they just got in the way to begin with"), she's buried a husband and several step-sisters, traveled to 6 continents (three of those with me), lived abroad, read an entire library of mystery novels and historical biographies; won more than $500 playing $0.25-ante bridge tournaments, led three fund-raising campaigns for local charities, had 6 paintings win awards at local arts festivals, and travelled to see two lunar and one solar eclipse.

    As I sat next to her bed during her most recent hospitalization, I reflected on my gratitude for the path she has shown me and the window of possibilities she has opened for me as I contemplate my own advancing age.

    She's fierce, frugal, opinionated, creative, smart, and not yet down for the count--and it's those memories that I want to cultivate now so that I can old on to them when she passes.
  • TheChristianSimone
    TheChristianSimone Posts: 156 Member
    We will all not be here at some point but you choose what you want now. The present is a gift so use it. We can sometimes drive ourselves into the ground by worrying or ruminating. I can look at my life in the past and have dealt with severe issues but all in all its a choice of what you fixate on and you can pivot instantly
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    I'm 42 and think about this stuff a lot, especially in the past couple of years. I know I'm not that old at this point but it's hard to deny our own mortality and it's depressing to think of the negative things in our future. The best thing, in my opinion, is to focus on the positive as much as possible. For example, my parents are 73 and 69 and both have some health issues BUT they're here, I can enjoy spending time with them (weekly and more often) and I feel grateful for that, as many of my peers have already lost their parent(s). Hang in there and try not to dwell on this stuff because it's not going to make today any sweeter if you dwell on tomorrow.
  • jdlatshaw
    jdlatshaw Posts: 5 Member
    Have you spoken with anyone about these feelings? I'd recommend you seek help from a professional to learn techniques to come to grips with your feelings.
  • kds10
    kds10 Posts: 452 Member
    Thanks I am going to try meditation...right now when I start having negative thoughts I am telling myself there r those thoughts again and then try and think of something more positive
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