me and my boyfriend of three years just broke up and I need

cmonskinnylovee
cmonskinnylovee Posts: 339
edited October 1 in Chit-Chat
I don't know what to do

I don't know how to handle myself, where to start, who to talk to...

I feel like a chicken with it's head cut off, and I really need help from people who have been through this before

Replies

  • joseph9
    joseph9 Posts: 328 Member
    You're eighteen? Man, that's going to suck, but it will get much much better with time. Listen to some sad songs, hang out with your friends, and don't do anything or one that you'll regret.
  • Duelltolose
    Duelltolose Posts: 119 Member
    Stay strong. Do whatever makes you feel great about yourself! Call up some girl friends and hang out.
    If you don't think you guys will get back together, then get rid of EVERYTHING that reminds you of him. Delete all texts and voice mails from him.

    Stay in there chick:heart:
  • skinnylove00
    skinnylove00 Posts: 662 Member
    grab a journal...make a list of words that you feel right now...or write him a note that you wont ever send...or just THROW yourself into your workouts and make him regret letting you go with a ROCKIN body!

    dont worry about finding another boyfriend. let yourself get over him as slow as you need to (dont try and hurry up the process of getting over him). find a good hobby and busy yourself with it, go out with friends, find yourself again :)
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,026 Member
    I totally cried when one of first girls I loved broke it off with me. I was down in the dumps for a few months. But eventually life goes on. It's okay to feel down and out about it, but I can promise you that life can turn on a dime. Whether you're with him or not, the world will go on, you just have to choose how you want to go on with it. Let it out and have a good cry. The next day will be better. And the next...........
  • Ajaay
    Ajaay Posts: 70 Member
    Try to invent a hobby to get you through. You've spent so much time with this person and now that's time to spare. Having something to do will give you a sense of purpose and help you grow in ways that doesn't include your ex.
  • ImNotThatBob
    ImNotThatBob Posts: 371 Member
    Sorry to hear that. Hang in there. Do something to take your mind off of things. I go for a run to clear my head.
  • jkcools
    jkcools Posts: 66
    Your so young, the world is yours; heart break is just a part of life, and I know It doesn't make you feel any better; but there is so much more life to live, so LIVE it up. His lose, your a very pretty young woman, and I'm sure you will find the one you are looking for one day just be patient, you will be glad you did. Hope this helps a little.
  • calibri
    calibri Posts: 439 Member
    Go for a walk. Seriously. Just do something active to take your mind off of it. It gets better, I promise you.
  • claguna23
    claguna23 Posts: 24
    the same thing happened to me when i was 20 years old. my 1st boyfriend broke up with me over the phone and 3 weeks after i turned 20. It hurt badly and i did not know how to handle it. I talked to college friends about it but the pain was still there. It took me 3 years to get over him. In the end after he broke up with me he ended up getting a gf a month later. But what I can tell you is don't let this break up run your life. he is just a boy. The probable reason you feel like a chicken with your head cut off is because you have been with this guy for 3 years. You got comfortable with him and maybe even thought the relationship would last forever. I sure did. anytime you feel like thinking about him and feel sad, etc inside exercise that away and think about your future YOUR FUTURE!!! if you need someone to talk about it with feel free to email me. I know its hard because i've been through it. I'm here for you. Stay strong God only knows why this happened to you!!
  • fridayjustleft04
    fridayjustleft04 Posts: 851 Member
    Last year I broke up with my boyfriend of 3.5 years. We lived together. It sucks, but ultimately you'll see it was probably the right thing to do. I mean, I don't know why you broke up, but for me, it's because we didn't want the same things and he was getting to be a pretty big douche bag, going as far as to cheat on me in my own house while I was at work. I moved out as soon as I could and am now with an amazing guy who supports me (not financially, of course), treats me with respect, and is an overall good person. Things always work themselves out for the best. Have some girls nights..they take your mind off stuff. Put on some angry music and rage for a little bit..get it out of your system. Go to the gym and hit a punching bag. Do what you need to in order to make yourself feel better. It hurts now, but it'll get better.
  • Dylanzmom
    Dylanzmom Posts: 120
    You will get through it. I'm not going to lie it's going to be rough but it will pass.
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,307 Member
    Have been there (rejected not a break up) more times then is fun to think about and no words by any person will make it better.
    Only time can do that and it will.

    You are only starting out in life and are a beautiful young lady so as hard as it is to believe it now you really have no worries.
    Just don`t think a guy or relationship is what defines you,allow yourself to grow into your own skin.
  • acasey0123
    acasey0123 Posts: 640 Member
    my bf broke up with me about 2 months ago and so i decided to join a gym and after 3 weeks of him breaking up with me he got a new gf and so i decided to train for a 5k.... I put all my frustration into exercise and NOT food... I gave myself only one day to dwell and then I told myself that the next day I will not dwell and put it behind me. As someone told me and its such good advice "fake it until you make it" right now focus on YOU focus on getting YOURSELF better and become the hottest thing that no one has ever seen. i now use blue, green,purple or black nail polishes instead of my usual pinks and reds, i put highlights in my hair and got bangs, i got a few pieces of clothing that i wouldnt of done otherwise, and when i reach "normal bmi" im gonna get my cartledge pierced...do a couple of things thats not "you"

    good luck with everything
    im here if you need it
  • JeremiahStone
    JeremiahStone Posts: 682 Member
    Cry, listen to music, cry again, let out all your anger, go for a run, listen to music, cry yourself to sleep.. Yea I know it sounds harsh but that's what got me thru my first breakup. You need to let loose all the emotion. Whatever you do don't "act" like nothing ever happend. And don't start seeing someone else a few weeks later. Don't let your heart get calloused. Give yourself time to heal, think, and get stronger. Things will get better, and in the end you will be stronger. #1 thing is to find some good music that helps you let it all out.
  • cmonskinnylovee
    cmonskinnylovee Posts: 339
    grab a journal...make a list of words that you feel right now...or write him a note that you wont ever send...or just THROW yourself into your workouts and make him regret letting you go with a ROCKIN body!

    dont worry about finding another boyfriend. let yourself get over him as slow as you need to (dont try and hurry up the process of getting over him). find a good hobby and busy yourself with it, go out with friends, find yourself again :)

    He didn't let me go though, we let each other go. If he had hurt me in any way I feel like this would be a lot easier than it is, but that fact is is that he never hurt me, and I really love him. We just didn't work together. That's why this is so hard
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,026 Member
    He didn't let me go though, we let each other go. If he had hurt me in any way I feel like this would be a lot easier than it is, but that fact is is that he never hurt me, and I really love him. We just didn't work together. That's why this is so hard
    One thing I had told to me was that if the person you love got back with you and was still unhappy with you, how happy do you think you'd really be? You'd probably end up even being unhappier and it would play havoc on you. Just something I thought you should think about.
  • cmonskinnylovee
    cmonskinnylovee Posts: 339
    Your so young, the world is yours; heart break is just a part of life, and I know It doesn't make you feel any better; but there is so much more life to live, so LIVE it up. His lose, your a very pretty young woman, and I'm sure you will find the one you are looking for one day just be patient, you will be glad you did. Hope this helps a little.

    Thanks :) I know I'm young and everything, but it's hard for me to think past tomorrow, let alone this grieving process.
  • Dylanzmom
    Dylanzmom Posts: 120
    Just wanted to add on to what someone else said. Give yourself a day to be depressed but then move on. My bf of fours years and who I have a son with recently left me and I survived by giving myself a day and then started getting my life back together.
  • cmonskinnylovee
    cmonskinnylovee Posts: 339
    Just wanted to add on to what someone else said. Give yourself a day to be depressed but then move on. My bf of fours years and who I have a son with recently left me and I survived by giving myself a day and then started getting my life back together.

    :/ I don't want to be depressed at all though, and in all reality- I shouldn't be.

    My dad made the point that who is to me today, is no different than who he was to me last week.

    What he meant was, we barely ever saw eachother, we treated eachother more like best friends, and I think i stopped loving him in a romantic way a long time ago- yet still I am heartbroken

    I don't want to feel this way :(
  • antioneca
    antioneca Posts: 23
    Just know that at your age it's easier to realize you do not click with someone than force it to work. That would have hurt more but given that your young and will bounce back in due time. I know how it felt to leave my first love we mutually split on Christmas Eve the worst ever but we both knew it was best and we can still speak to this day. You may have loved him but a love that flows is a lot more enjoyable than a love that doesn't. Did i cry, YES...think it was the end of the world as i knew, YES....not want to hang out with friends at times, YES....but know that after the storm will come a beautiful RAINBOW stay encouraged.
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