lying to everyone.. becoming obsessed?

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ronjaa
ronjaa Posts: 65
in Motivation and Support
What is this doing to me? Yesterday my boyfriend asked me to send him some “art” (lol) pictures of myself. You know…No clothes on. And I said no… I lied to him why.. I told him that I think I’m to young to do that (but wasn’t before -.- We are a couple for more then 3 years now and I have no problem with trusting him with that pictures. He deleted them all now because I said it bothers me). He asked me do I really think he would show it to someone, that I should know he’s not that kind of guy… I know.. But I can’t tell him that I look disgusting to myself.. That I can't even look myself in the mirror without feeling down. That I’ll take pictures when I’ll lose weight.. I keep lying to everyone I know. And to myself. I workout with doors locked, I try to manipulate my parents so they don’t make unhealthy lunches. I order green tea when I’m out, but I actually want cappuccino. I'm young (19), my friends don't eat healthy food or drink healthy drinks. It’s becoming so hard.. No one in my life knows this..My diet, exercises, thoughts about myself.. I’m to afraid they would stop me. That’s why I’m a liar.

Replies

  • d_llopez
    d_llopez Posts: 167 Member
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    But they love you and will accept you for you! It shouldn't matter what other people think or whether you have that cappuccino for breakfast. You stay true to yourself. Keep it within the calorie goal your aiming for and push hard. If you don't like the way you look change it. You CAN do it.
  • ninyagwa
    ninyagwa Posts: 341 Member
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    I think it's perfectly fine to NOT send "innapropriate" or scantily clad photos of yourself to your boyfriend, you really never know where they might end up, and it could be embarassing.

    The other thing is, and I'm being genuine here, I think you may have some signs of some body image issues. I'm not a therapist, nor have I ever claimed to be one, but maybe even just a few times talking to a therapist or mental health professional like a concelor might help you figure out what's really naggling at you.

    I hope you feel better, try not to lie too much...it gets hard to remember them all.
  • helloburger
    helloburger Posts: 243 Member
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    For what reason would they stop you? unless you do not need to lose weight.... there should be no reason why they would would stop you working out. And be honest with your boyfriend. Tell him that your not comfortable with the way you look. As you said he think you believe he will share the pictures. which will make him question how much you trust him, when this isnt the issue.

    honesty is the best policy
  • maryzcontrary
    maryzcontrary Posts: 70
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    This is just my opinion. Beware, I am old enough to be your mother! haha.....you are indeed too young to send those "art " pictures to him....sometimes, and i am not saying he's a bad guy or would do this, but sometimes, when relationships go sour, or when a guy is bragging, they like to show or send those pics around - nude pics have far-reaching consequences, especially if you are going to go into certain professions where they frown on such things......even if you were comfortable, it is not necessary for this guy to have nudie photos of you. My husband has never asked for such a thing, and I don't think he would, and not cause I am ugly, it's just not a necessary thing for a good relationship ---- you are very young, and unless you and this guy are married and married a while, in a solidly trusting relationship, I would not send him any......if nothing else, you could go to one of those places where they do the sexy "bedroom photos" in gorgeous lingerie -- that wouldn't "follow you down the road" at a later date.....

    be really careful with this one - it could have some negative consequences.
  • helloburger
    helloburger Posts: 243 Member
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    The main issue in this top is not the nude photos! ITS THE SECRECY OF THE WORKING OUT ETC
  • Donners185
    Donners185 Posts: 329 Member
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    Hi! Have you ever spoke to anyone about this? I used to do the same thing, but instead of lying about my body i used to lie about what i ate and how often. I used to get takeaways and junk and eat it before i got home or when no one was looking. Then i would become disgusted with myself, do the opposite and tell people i had ate already when i hadn't or go to the gym and workout 2 or 3 times a day. The reason we lie is to cover up our thoughts and actions as we know they are unreasonable and unjustifiable, but at the same time we can't help how we feel. You should speak to your doctor or a councillor about this. You need to nip this in the bud before it becomes too extreme and you develop serious problems. Just remember you never have to apoligise for what you think or how you feel. So next time someone asks you what you think or how ur feel just be honest. Use the negative thoughts and feeling you have towards your body and turn them into strength, courage and positivity to continue changing yourself for the better in a positive way.
  • Loko_Ino
    Loko_Ino Posts: 544 Member
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    The main issue in this top is not the nude photos! ITS THE SECRECY OF THE WORKING OUT ETC

    Beg to differ..sending nude pics of yourself at that age seems to denote low self-esteem and low self-esteem would lead to all the other hidden activities in her life.
  • ronjaa
    ronjaa Posts: 65
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    I don't want to talk about pictures. That was an example of my lies. I really don't know why can't I stop doing that... I'm not fat.. I'm 5'3" and 62 kg (136.7 lbs). I think I just need to lose few kilograms to look better. But I don't think anyone that loves me would understand that... So I lie. I lie about what I eat, when I eat. I hide when I exercise.. I asked mu mum to buy cottage cheese because I love it, when I actually hate it. I have no one to talk to about it, people here don't go to therapists...
  • abbie017
    abbie017 Posts: 410
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    I don't want to talk about pictures. That was an example of my lies. I really don't know why can't I stop doing that... I'm not fat.. I'm 5'3" and 62 kg (136.7 lbs). I think I just need to lose few kilograms to look better. But I don't think anyone that loves me would understand that... So I lie. I lie about what I eat, when I eat. I hide when I exercise.. I asked mu mum to buy cottage cheese because I love it, when I actually hate it. I have no one to talk to about it, people here don't go to therapists...

    I think you just need to talk to your parents. They'll surprise you and be more understanding than you think. What parents would be upset about a child saying, "Mom, I want to be healthier, I want to make better choices with my life." I think you're selling everyone in your life very short and it's not fair to discount them. You have chosen to lie about your situation before even trying to talk to them and giving them the benefit of the doubt.
  • dmpizza
    dmpizza Posts: 3,321 Member
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    Never do ANYTHING you are not comfortable with. Sexting isn't a required part of life. Make it clear to your friends that you are eating healthy or watching your weight, however you want to say it. Your friends will be really lame about it because as my Grandmother said "No one will tell you to wash your face so you look better than they do". They will be jealous.

    Good Luck, keep your chin up.
  • SethLexico
    SethLexico Posts: 8
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    YOU chose to do it because it is YOUR life.

    and for me, that is the end of discussion.

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