Failed Test Balloon Launches

MIltonBradley1
MIltonBradley1 Posts: 688 Member
edited December 22 in Chit-Chat
So you need to let out a toot and you think you can control it, letting it out slowly so that no one will notice or hoping it will be silent and not deadly.

So you decided to send up a test balloon first and as you do the whole chamber of gas escapes into one loud clap of thunder and all eyes are on you.

This every happen to you?

Share your story.

Replies

  • your_future_ex_wife
    your_future_ex_wife Posts: 4,278 Member
    MIltonBradley1 wrote: »
    So you need to let out a toot and you think you can control it, letting it out slowly so that no one will notice or hoping it will be silent and not deadly.

    So you decided to send up a test balloon first and as you do the whole chamber of gas escapes into one loud clap of thunder and all eyes are on you.

    This every happen to you?

    Share your story.

    Not exactly but

    16 years old. Play wrestling with my boyfriend. I lifted him off the ground and oops. We were both terribly embarrassed.

    That’s when I instituted the 3rd date fart rule. If I can’t pass gas in front of him by the third date it’s never going to work.
  • ksharrell48
    ksharrell48 Posts: 171 Member
    Oh, yeah. In a crowded elevator, filled with co-workers. So glad I don't work there anymore...and they are probably too:)
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    This content has been removed.
  • J_NY_Z
    J_NY_Z Posts: 2,540 Member
    I put this a s a status a few months ago:

    My stomach is off today. I was walking to the bathroom and came upon a section of hallway that seemed deserted. I hit the pressure release valve. About 1 second later my boss calls me from behind to ask me a question. I reluctantly stop hoping that the odor will dissipate. As she's talking her eyes give her away. It is as though someone put a skunks *kitten* in her face.

    I love my boss, she's great. I don't think I can recover from this. I shall update my resume.

    I still work at the same place, all good.
  • This_far
    This_far Posts: 536 Member
    I am happy that earbuds are pretty much universal when running.
  • mitch16
    mitch16 Posts: 2,113 Member
    This_far wrote: »
    I am happy that earbuds are pretty much universal when running.

    Or minimally that the noise of the treadmills is loud enough to mask it.
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    edited August 2019
    This content has been removed.
  • Pandemonium_
    Pandemonium_ Posts: 945 Member
    Working on some path lights, on my back, on the sidewalk. Elderly female homeowner standing beside me. All finished, I heave myself up and it happens. Reverberation off the cement.
  • Pamela_Sue
    Pamela_Sue Posts: 563 Member
    Stepped into an empty elevator at work. As the doors began to close, I distinctly smell the overwhelming gaseous odor left behind from a previous rider. I desperately try to open the doors, but to no avail. On the slow ride to the next floor I began to sweat as I realized people would think it was me who caused said gaseous odor. Doors open, and with no one in sight, I swiftly vacated the area before being seen. As I disappeared around the corner I heard someone entering, exclaiming, 'whew'! After that, I took the stairs.
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    This content has been removed.
  • LyndaBSS
    LyndaBSS Posts: 6,964 Member
    My husband used to do this all the time. The worst was when he'd be sitting on the wood steps. I thought the house was going to fall down around us. The opposite of silent and about as deadly as they come. 😬

  • floofyschmoofer
    floofyschmoofer Posts: 209 Member
    I'm just sorry he didn't feel like he could say it back.

    I think about you all the time, Leonard.
  • terrordawg
    terrordawg Posts: 19,462 Member
    floofyschmoofer wrote: »
    I'm just sorry he didn't feel like he could say it back.

    I think about you all the time, Leonard.

    I’m sure he thinks about you too 😂

  • terrordawg
    terrordawg Posts: 19,462 Member
    I was strolling up and down the aisles at the dollar store, and as I turned into the second last aisle, I caught a guy lifting his leg as he let one rip. We locked eyes and stood there awkwardly for a moment. Then I moved to the next aisle. 😂
  • Pamela_Sue
    Pamela_Sue Posts: 563 Member
    LyndaBSS wrote: »
    My husband used to do this all the time. The worst was when he'd be sitting on the wood steps. I thought the house was going to fall down around us. The opposite of silent and about as deadly as they come. 😬

    @LyndaBSS Lynda, I have ready many of your posts, and your love for your husband really shows. Sorry for your loss, but I am happy you are able to look back at good, and even funny, memories.
  • LyndaBSS
    LyndaBSS Posts: 6,964 Member
    @pjshawley

    Thank you for your kindness. 💟
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    edited August 2019
    This content has been removed.
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    edited August 2019
    This content has been removed.
  • floofyschmoofer
    floofyschmoofer Posts: 209 Member
    MIltonBradley1 wrote: »
    @floofyschmoofer wrote: »
    I have a similar story?

    I have dogs, and I am able to go check on them on my lunch break. When I leave to go back to work, I always holler over my shoulder to them I LOVE YOU! as I'm opening the door...


    And that's the day I farted in front of a stranger and inadvertently told him I love him.

    That's how most relationships should start.


    I agree, but every time something like this happens and I try to get something more going, my boyfriend shuts it down.
  • your_future_ex_wife
    your_future_ex_wife Posts: 4,278 Member
    Somebody keeps farting in here
  • InkgirlKC
    InkgirlKC Posts: 251 Member
    Whenever I am gone from here for a few days I always look through a few pages to see if I missed anything interesting or funny. I saw this and thought it was related to the upcoming balloon festival in Albuquerque.

    Oh boy was I wrong! :D
  • tinak33
    tinak33 Posts: 9,883 Member
    floofyschmoofer wrote: »
    I have a similar story?

    I have dogs, and I am able to go check on them on my lunch break. When I leave to go back to work, I always holler over my shoulder to them I LOVE YOU! as I'm opening the door.

    Well, this particular day I was in a rush so I had grabbed my keys from the table by the door and was looking down at my left hand fumbling with them to find the right one to lock the door behind me, and with the right turning the doorknob and opening the door. I'm moving at max speed and just hurl the door open and holler I LOVE YOU into the space in front of me, then really LOOK in front of me and there is a man ON MY DOORSTEP with a landscaping flyer he was about to tape to my door. We are almost toe-to-toe.

    When I get startled, I jump a little. And it just so happens I was holding onto a little secret in my trunk to release into the wild where it belongs on my way to the car. And I simultaneously did a little shock-leap and let out a MACHINE GUN QUALITY TOOT. All in the span of maybe 3 seconds from me grabbing my keys.

    I just kinda blinked and was like, ...Oh. I have to go to work... and showed the guy my keys like he's the Porch Police in my neighborhood and I had to prove it. He nods and is like, yup, shoves the flyer -- tape and everything-- into his pocket and kind of speed walks back to his truck parked on the curb at my neighbor's.

    And that's the day I farted in front of a stranger and inadvertently told him I love him.

    I just snort laughed at work.
  • XxFunctionalStrengthxX
    XxFunctionalStrengthxX Posts: 2,466 Member
    We were driving home from a relative of the (ex)wife for something. Well, the (ex)wife and kid were giving me some crap about something. While this was going on, thanks to the meal I ate, I was really getting gassy. Was letting it slowly out, while the two of them are ripping into me.

    After a couple slowly eeked out, I could tell they were really powerful. So, I had had enough with their BS. Reached over, hit the power window lock button to prevent the windows from being rolled down, and leaned over and just let one rip. They both stopped and gave me the "How dare you?!" look.

    Then, the stench hit. The (ex)wife's comment was "Oh dear, God. I'm going to gag..." followed by her pulling her shirt up over her mouth and nose. I could hear the kid starting to gag in the back seat once it hit him, follow by a "Dad! My eyes are tearing up!"

    When they realized they couldn't roll the windows down, they begged me to unlock the windows and let some air in. I just sat in silence for the rest of the ride home, basking in my own glory. ;)
  • your_future_ex_wife
    your_future_ex_wife Posts: 4,278 Member
    XxFunctionalStrengthxX wrote: »
    We were driving home from a relative of the (ex)wife for something. Well, the (ex)wife and kid were giving me some crap about something. While this was going on, thanks to the meal I ate, I was really getting gassy. Was letting it slowly out, while the two of them are ripping into me.

    After a couple slowly eeked out, I could tell they were really powerful. So, I had had enough with their BS. Reached over, hit the power window lock button to prevent the windows from being rolled down, and leaned over and just let one rip. They both stopped and gave me the "How dare you?!" look.

    Then, the stench hit. The (ex)wife's comment was "Oh dear, God. I'm going to gag..." followed by her pulling her shirt up over her mouth and nose. I could hear the kid starting to gag in the back seat once it hit him, follow by a "Dad! My eyes are tearing up!"

    When they realized they couldn't roll the windows down, they begged me to unlock the windows and let some air in. I just sat in silence for the rest of the ride home, basking in my own glory. ;)

    my hero
  • LyndaBSS
    LyndaBSS Posts: 6,964 Member
    😂 that's hilarious! <snort>
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    This content has been removed.
This discussion has been closed.

Categories