In Training (stepmom rant)

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mamaDaisyJ
mamaDaisyJ Posts: 395
in Chit-Chat
So, I have been here for a while. Wobbling between 195 and 198 trying to find the motivation I need to keep going down. And I think I finally found it! I am training for a fight! A real life punches throwing fight!
Mind you, I have never been violent and haven't been in a fight in at least 15 years... I'm mature now :wink:

Backstory.... I have a stepdaughter. She will be 8 in February. I have had her full time since her 3rd birthday. We met about 3 months after her mother left her and my husband. So, what's that.. like almost 5 years. I usually don't make the distinction between my kids. But this story required it. She has another mother, and I do my best to just get along, keep the peace, and not antagonize. And it's been hard.
When I first got her, she would cancel weekends cause she was sick on Tuesday and not 100% yet. Or cause there was tryouts for some game show on Saturday morning, or she had to visit her latest boyfriend at "church camp". YES! She actually told my daughter that her boyfriend was at "church camp" for almost a year....
Most recently, she got pregnant and decided this third child would be put up for adoption. This gave her the excuse to not see our daughter for the whole pregnancy, as to not confuse her. somehow it also made it ok not to call her the whole time, even when my daughter would leave a message. Now this is where it gets good k.... The baby is 2 months old, the adoptive parents want to keep all in touch and stuff... .so now she wanted to take my daughter that never knew she was pregnant and let her meet her 'sister"

Believe it or not... this is not why I am now in training!

Last night, she calls, after girly is in bed, while husband is gone. She started off nice enough, asking about school and friends and such. Sounded like she was a normal mom almost. Then all of a sudden... "I gotta tell ya something that's just been stewing with me" My response was basically, Ok let out, I'm all ears right..
Well, apparently I asked her daughter why she loved her mom??? seriously??? I cover for this wench all the time. Why don't my mom call me? Oh, she's prolly just working or tired when she gets home. Anyway, I ask her why she thinks this happened. She says because I did it right in front of her.... Ok, so, I'm like when did this happen? Her response? The Other Day!!!
So, naturally, I say the truth.... We haven't seen you in a year. Well, now I'm gonna get my *kitten* kicked and she ain't scared of me, and I wanted my husband for 15 years, am I happy? Let the kid be happy and a bunch of other cuss words. And I'm a nasty *kitten*, cause I used to be a dancer.. which she just started doing the night before?

Just a little sidestep bragging. I have known my husband for that long, but it was I that turned him down twice before he finally said the right thing to get me on his arm!

And she wanted to take my girl next weekend (labor day). We are saying no, cause we still don't know where she lives, or who with, my husband actually gets days off work when it's a holiday, and I'm not gonna let my kid hang out with some random babysitter while her mom stays out till 3am and sleeps all day! Of course, she was too busy yelling and screaming when my husband got home and called her back to ask him the question or find out the answer. We prolly won't hear from her for another 2 months or more. The only reason they have seen each other in the last 2 months is because Gramma called and asked for a weekend with her.

So, I'm not planning to get all strong and go looking for trouble, but I'll be ready when she comes knocking. And the idea of kicking her teeth into the curb is starting to sound awesome.... now just to get the town to install curbs....

Replies

  • TinaDay1114
    TinaDay1114 Posts: 1,328 Member
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    I used to have a lot of anger myself -- and I bought boxing gloves. They were huge and PINK, and I'd go to the gym and wail on the bag. It's a good workout, and does wonders for your rage.
  • hotelsierra
    hotelsierra Posts: 53
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    Kickboxing/Boxing is an awesome form of self defense, cardio/strength training and stress management. Ive been doing it for 2 years now and nothing compares to it! Good Luck!
  • roxygrissom
    roxygrissom Posts: 35
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    Wow, she sounds like she needs a good whoopin'.....but for real, she's not worth the trouble it would cause you. You could definintely ramp up your workouts by fantasizing about smashing her face though....seriously, I feel for you, that is a really tough situation to be in. Rant and rave here if you need to, but stay out of trouble:smile:
  • Cat52169
    Cat52169 Posts: 277 Member
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    As a stepmom, I totally understand you're frustration but you have to remember you are better than that. You have to continue to be the positive role model in your daughter's life and do not stoop to the level of immaturity. I'm glad you got to vent. There are so many days that I want to scream but I hold it all in. Just remember you have a good life, happy marriage and family. Thank God for that and thank God that you won't have to look back some day and regret not being a good mom like she will.

    Breathe!!! Get healthy and strong for you not for battle with someone who doesn't deserve your time of day.

    Good luck!!!
  • auntiebabs
    auntiebabs Posts: 1,754 Member
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    Training is a really good way to reduce stress.
    Knowing you are capable may actually help diffuse a situation.
  • hotelsierra
    hotelsierra Posts: 53
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    Training is a really good way to reduce stress.
    Knowing you are capable may actually help diffuse a situation.

    :happy: I couldn't agree more! Sometimes the confidence that u really could inflict serious damage makes all her empty threats laughable! :laugh: Stay Strong! You've already got her beat!! :flowerforyou:
  • knittnponder
    knittnponder Posts: 1,954 Member
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    I do taekwondo and it is awesome for getting all that out without going to jail. :) I get to punch bags and break boards and spar other people so the aggression has a place to be vented. The other bonus is, it teaches you a whole lot of self control so when your freak neighbor starts screaming and yelling at you over something you don't just go off and pound them! Now if she were to get physical I could finish it but I prefer not to go there.

    Good job protecting your daughter even if it means taking the brunt of abuse. And I commend you for not bad mouthing her. It's a tough situation to be in but that little girl is lucky to have parents that love her.
  • mamaDaisyJ
    mamaDaisyJ Posts: 395
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    Thank you all for the kind words. I really did need to rant and rave!
    I have a friend that is planning to put her punching bag in my garage sale next weekend, I will prolly get it from her though. I want polka dotted boxing gloves! You think they sell those?
    I already laugh at her, but she still gets me all mad with shaking and tears ya know. Um... mad tears... anyone else do that? When I just feel like tearing into someone, I get those watery silent tears, just two or three. It's an in the moment kind of thing.
    Anyway! We were thinking of putting daughter in karate so she would have some skills if anyone ever tried to snatch her... yea, I'm one of those paranoid moms... so maybe we can join a self defense class together. Could be fun.

    I tried to tell her between her cussing that I didn't need to ask any stupid questions like that, cause the kid has a very good brain in her head, and is figuring out where she ranks all on her own already. She is in first grade, they know all about days, weeks, months, years, and time in general. Oh, and the woman actually asked me last night what grade her daughter was in.... and I'm the bad one? grrr

    One of my mottos... If you won't be proud to admit an action at a later date, don't take that action now!
    We do it all for the kids, and I will always be proud to say that :smile:

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