Adulting limits? Responsibility fatigue?
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amandaeve
Posts: 723 Member
I do many things every day that fit in the box of "I want to and it's good for me but it takes a lot of effort and wears me out" (Waking up on time, staying active, going to work, being a good partner/daughter/in-law, managing finances/etc., socializing, going to bed on time). When it comes to eating right, I often feel like I've simply reached the limit of how much I can push myself. I wonder if I'd control my eating better if I removed other "work" off the list. I don't want to do an exchange, of course. I do a good job on the above and can't imagine giving any of them up. There's only a few things in my life that come naturally and feel easy. That's spending time with my best friends (which I only have the opportunity to do once every few months), continuing to work once I got to there, and preparing nutrient-dense meals (my eating problems are in eating too much in addition to my nice healthy meals). Does anybody else feel tapped out in this way? I feel like I have so many responsibilities, how does one add more?
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I feel the exact same way. The last year or so I've been so busy all the time, and it feels like adding anything else is just too much. Yet I don't know what to cut back on in order to make time for myself.1
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I also feel like this. I have decided that my socializing is going to be split for my sanity. Now I’ll have friends come to my place to hang out and spend some time together. And while we hang out generally I’ll prep food for the week or tend to the chickens and other animals1
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I feel like this too - except for me, meal planning/eating isn't a big hassle, but exercise is what takes a backseat.
I do get out for long hikes on weekends and long walks a couple nights per week...but when I try to do this 6 evenings per week it rarely happens because other responsibilities get in the way. I try to not see it too black/white like I have failed if one week I only make it out for 2 rounds of "real" exercise...I will just do better the next week.
Sometimes I think about joining a gym for doing weights and stuff. But I feel like I have way too many other things in my life...and truly it's not THAT stressful, I am married with no kids and work full time and am a primary caregiver for my disabled mom but she's fairly independent so I only do that about 10 hrs/week. It takes a lot of time & energy just keeping up with work, family, finances, cleaning, etc. I also have hobbies and like to spend a lot of time with my husband. Fortunately we exercise together sometimes but it is still hard to fit everything in.3 -
Glad to hear I'm not alone. In my case, it's not that I'm too busy or things get in the way. I have the time to do what I want, I just don't have the energy. It's like all my stamina just gets used up.2
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Thankfully eating within a particular calorie limit is one of those things like showering in the morning or brushing your teeth ... just a habit you take a few minutes each day to do while your mind is on other things.2
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Glad to hear I'm not alone. In my case, it's not that I'm too busy or things get in the way. I have the time to do what I want, I just don't have the energy. It's like all my stamina just gets used up.
Two things pop out to me about your situation.
One is that you may want to schedule a visit to a doctor for a check up. I wonder if your thyroid level isn’t a little low, or if there is some other physical issue that renders you out of steam at the end of the day.
The other is that if you happen to be an introvert, being around people all day drains your energy, and your batteries need to be recharged by having some quiet time alone. I happen to be an extrovert, and draw my energy from being around others. The book Quiet by Susan Cain was very eye opening for me, considering how many introverted relatives I have. I learned a lot, and highly recommend it. If you happen to need time every day to recharge spent batteries, there is nothing wrong with that!5 -
You know something - although I “hear you” - I’m only going to listen for so long. This probably isn’t what you want to hear - but stop making excuses. Not putting food in your mouth doesn’t take time or effort. You’re allowing life to overwhelm you and you’re using that to let yourself off the hook when it comes to achieving your goals re: eating right.
Take another look at your list. It includes waking up, going to work, earning and spending money, being a family member, seeing people, eating, going to bed. Sounds a lot like “living” to me. Why are these very normal parts of life such an effort for you?
I appreciate that everyone has specific problems, pressures and challenges and your list is likely an oversimplification of everything you face each day - but when you distil your list to its basic components, it’s not that terrifying is it?
You obviously have good things in your life: friends, family, a job you enjoy. Is it time to sit back and appreciate it more? Seems like you need a shift in mindset. Try writing 3 things each night that happened that day that you feel grateful about. It might start to subtly change your outlook and “life” might feel less like hard work.
Good luck!7 -
Sounds like you're putting a lot of self-imposed stress on yourself. I'm in the same boat. I think if you're a committed person, then you will have self-imposed stress from work, home, and self. And getting better about managing that takes effort also. Maybe taking a step back and thinking 'what IS important?' and then putting those 2-3 things first. For me it's family time with kids, then work, then my own personal things (like exercising and home projects). The eating part, that's just something you have to do all the time, and no doubt it's hard. You can do it, just don't give up, you'll get there.4
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I'm like that too. Weight loss requires mental energy, for which there is a limited supply of. It's simply impossible for me to do stuff all day, my mind needs downtime.1
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Thankfully eating within a particular calorie limit is one of those things like showering in the morning or brushing your teeth ... just a habit you take a few minutes each day to do while your mind is on other things.
Very well said ^^^^
What's more important than prioritizing your health?1 -
Yes but eating isn't the thing that pushes me too far (or what feels like too far). It's various things that take more emotional effort for me than choosing what I do and don't eat and in what portions. Finding a job, dealing with the stress of applying to grad school, pushing myself with rowing even though it can be scary, etc. That said, I don't have much of an emotional attachment to food. Yes I really really like good food, but it's not a thing that soothes me emotionally.
How do I add more responsibilities/do things that I am feeling tapped out in? More often than not, I remind myself why I want to or need to do the thing. Sometimes I will also just give myself breaks. Either of the thing that I don't want to do or of something else which will then free up more emotional energy.1 -
Glad to hear I'm not alone. In my case, it's not that I'm too busy or things get in the way. I have the time to do what I want, I just don't have the energy. It's like all my stamina just gets used up.
I agree with the poster who said you should talk to your doc if you can, there can be physical reasons for low energy that are easily fixed
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@aokoye
Is there anything you can remove from your list or delegate to someone else, or just ask for help with?
Yes and no. For me a chunk of the overwhelmed feeling is not helped by my depression and anxiety. My mental health issues, while very present in my life, are being treated as effectively as possible - it's just a long process. That said, I do have a lot of support in terms of grad school stuff and I had a very positive job interview this morning. Thanks for asking though
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I have anxiety, depression and ptsd. I completely understand. 💜
Good luck with the job!4 -
I want to be a radically brilliant person so even tho I totally understand this I also know that I want to max out all efforts in my health which means eating right. I enjoy meal prepping and trying new ways to be better. Now things that fall by the wayside is socializing and such. I am pretty militant on my routine. Find balance is key.0
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I think it would help you to meet with a dietitian and draw up a food plan that you can follow day by day/week by week. That way you are eating the same things everyday, things you love and you are not putting any energy into preparing different meals, it will become habit instead of a burden. You could also make a daily routine to deal with some of the other stuff.0
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cyaneverfat wrote: »That way you are eating the same things everyday, things you love and you are not putting any energy into preparing different meals, it will become habit instead of a burden. You could also make a daily routine to deal with some of the other stuff.
This ^^ ... that way, when you become really busy, the eating part is just "background noise" and you can focus on other things.
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Pretty sure most people on a tight schedule feel this way to some extent. It's all about balance. Myself, being a full time working mom with 2 toddlers.... feel this alot lol I agree with others about how healthy eating and meal prep just becomes routine and a way of life. I actually kind of consider it a hobby now lol It's not ideally how i want to spend my time, but I know it is/will be worth it for me and my family in the long run!0
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You make a great point ... there is no doubt that changing the way you eat to lose weight takes work, mindfulness, and energy. I just clear my priorities to put eating healthy and keeping the weight off at the top of the list.
Really... I feel better and can do more and desire to do more when I eat right. And..it makes me super happy when I can fit into clothes and look my best. But.. it has taken a lot of work and I have knocked other things off my list to make room for my fitness priorities. Put yourself first..there is nothing wrong with that.0
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