Dealing with emotional eating/food addiction

becoming_the_best_me
becoming_the_best_me Posts: 66 Member
edited June 2019 in Health and Weight Loss
How do you deal with emotional eating/food addiction/stress eating/binge eating etc..
I know that I use food to comfort myself but I've tried so many times to stop and never last very long 😥 I lost weight and have gained most of it back. I hate myself for not being able to have self control.
I've been in therapy most of my life and yet I'm still struggling and that's usually the only suggestion I hear
I need help :(

Replies

  • MT1134
    MT1134 Posts: 173 Member
    What's got you so stressed out?
  • becoming_the_best_me
    becoming_the_best_me Posts: 66 Member
    MT1134 wrote: »
    What's got you so stressed out?

    Life's the constant stressor and I started emotional eating/binging at 11 years old so it's not about any one certain thing
  • CMNVA
    CMNVA Posts: 733 Member
    I don't know the answers as I deal with it myself. I'm don't think I'm a typical binge person in that I don't sit and eat 5,000 calories in one sitting, but I have times in my life where I can get my eating under control for months and months at a time and then one thing sets it off (a wedding, a party, a meal) and I go totally off the rails and eat what I want for months at a time. My overeating consists of large portions of regular healthy food and then I eat sweets throughout the day.

    Over the past year, I've gone through a couple huge containers of those Jelly Belly jellybeans from Costco. Each one is only 4 calories, but I'll eat about 60 of them when I get home from work or after dinner. Ben & Jerry's ice cream is another weakness for me.

    Honestly, I think part of my issue is just habits. I grew up very slender (must have had a great metabolism) and ate anything I wanted and NEVER gained a pound until my 30s.

    I'm do think these days (I don't think it was that way as a child) that the stress of my job or whatever is going on in my life drives me to comfort with food.
  • robthephotog
    robthephotog Posts: 81 Member
    For me it was teaching myself to recognize when im munching for stress and when im actually hungry. Took 3-4 weeks of actually thinking about it.

    I also know where i want to be physically in a year, 2 years, 5 years etc. And im determined to get there. Not only for myself but for my kids. I tell myself whats more important, that brownie, or living an extra 5-10 years to see my kids grow up. 🤷‍♂️

    Also, my wife is in on it, and will tell me to stop if i tell her im munchy mid day.
  • goldthistime
    goldthistime Posts: 3,213 Member
    edited June 2019
    I used to binge eat and don’t anymore (I still overeat at times but I’m not nearly as extreme). Part of what changed may be hormonal (I’m now post menopausal and generally less emotional). But three things I did (and still do) are 1) listing positives (my version of gratitude journaling), 2) daily affirmations/mottos and 3) eat a lower carb diet.

    I’d heard about these “new age” activities for years before I started doing them regularly, and I thought they weren’t for me, that I’d feel silly doing them. I listed positives first, and then when I bumped into some phrases/mottos that were inspiring without feeling untrue, I added those. One of them, for example is “I can do hard things”.

    I’ve recently started eating lower carb (basically by adding more healthy oils to my diet) and I feel steadier than ever.

    Hope you find your way OP.
  • staticsplit
    staticsplit Posts: 538 Member
    edited June 2019
    In treatment for bulimia, which is now mostly under control except in times of great stress.

    I echo CAT/CBT if you haven't tried that kind of therapy. I found it much more useful than talking therapy. I also did art therapy with a group of 3 other women which was also helpful.

    Making sure you're not restricting too much is a big one. When I eat 1300 calories a day for too long, I am guaranteed a binge within 2 weeks. Once I upped it and tried not to go below 1700, my binges mostly stopped, especially not that I'm trying to maintain, more or less. I find tracking helps me, as I'm aiming to keep to a range of 1700 to 2200 (or up to 2,500 if a heavy training day/high hunger). A lot of the time I'd think I was eating too much, then go 'screw it' and binge, when actually those 'too much' days were usually around maintenance anyway.

    Volume eating--I love having massive salads or mounds of steamed/roasted broccoli/cauliflower/etc.

    Protein--I aim for 70g minimum, but ideally 100g.

    Seconding delaying--I go for a walk and listen to music, an audiobook, or a podcast for half an hour. Or I take a bath/shower. Or I get out of the house and go to a cafe but only bring enough change for a coffee. I do things with my hands--sketching, other crafts, cleaning, writing. Basically, distraction or doing something that calms me down/makes me happy.

    The root of my binging was that I wasn't good at letting myself feel and process my emotions. I also rely too much on external validation rather than trusting my own inner self/purpose. I'm working on tackling this and figure once I do, my lingering food issues will disappear or become manageable.
  • becoming_the_best_me
    becoming_the_best_me Posts: 66 Member
    xtrain321 wrote: »
    I've been free of binge eating for years now--after struggling with it for 20 years of my life. :( Therapy helped a lot, so I'd recommend that. Here's what I did in case it helps you or someone else.

    I would always find myself in a frenzied state of mind in the grocery store buying a bunch of "forbidden" foods to binge on--and feeling like I had no idea how it happened, as if I was on auto-pilot.

    My therapist got me to recognize that my mind was already going down that path before I got to the grocery store...so that I could realize I was making a conscious choice to binge. Before that, it had always seemed like something I couldn't control or something that was happening to me. But once I saw that it actually was a choice, it was empowering because that meant I could make a different choice. That's how I started changing my behavior.

    I do believe that the binges were driven by emotion/stress, but I have to say I've never understood exactly what my reasons were--and I got better without understanding the exact root cause.

    Something I found very helpful along the way was realizing that I just really like to feel full and satisfied. I have a huge appetite and I always did, even as a kid. "Normal" portion sizes have just never filled me up. So now I do something called volume eating, though I never realized there was a name for it until recently.

    It is just a way of eating that uses lots of low calorie foods that take up a lot of space in your stomach. This allows me to have a feeling of being full and satisfied while staying within my calorie budget, eating nutritious food, and not binge eating. There is actually a volume eaters thread on MyFitnessPal that is very active. You can get some meal ideas there if you think that would help you.

    I don't eat any of my trigger foods. I just know they send me off track, and I find it easier to avoid them than to try to eat them in moderation. That's just my personal strategy, but in general I think moderation is better if you can manage it.

    Another strategy--I found that the urge actually passes if you can avoid starting the binge immediately. I would tell myself that I could binge later, but usually "later" never came. The urge just went away.

    A few other things that helped me:

    Learning to cook
    Finding lots of healthy foods and recipes that I really like and look forward to
    Pre-logging my food one day in advance
    Prepping food in advance (usually on the weekend)--so I have food ready and don't get too hungry
    Reusing a lot of the same meals and copying them forward in MyFitnessPal
    Increasing protein--it keeps me full longer

    Hope this is helpful.

    Thank you so much that is very helpful! Do you think you could link me to that volume eater's thread?
  • becoming_the_best_me
    becoming_the_best_me Posts: 66 Member
    kshama2001 wrote: »
    becoming_the_best_me wrote: »
    How do you deal with emotional eating/food addiction/stress eating/binge eating etc..
    I know that I use food to comfort myself but I've tried so many times to stop and never last very long 😥 I lost weight and have gained most of it back. I hate myself for not being able to have self control.
    I've been in therapy most of my life and yet I'm still struggling and that's usually the only suggestion I hear
    I need help :(

    What kind of therapy? I was in regular talk therapy for years but just a few meetings of Smart Recovery and Rational Recovery (which is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy-based) were extremely helpful for when I was abusing alcohol.

    If when you tell your therapist about your struggles with food all they have to offer is "have self control" with no baby steps on how to make that happen, find another therapist, preferably one who specialized in CBT.

    I too used to self-medicate with food (and alcohol, and other substances and behaviors) but now I mostly manage stress with regular exercise, and increased exercise when the stress gets particularly high.

    So the above helps me with the emotional aspects of uncontrolled eating. I used to also bored-eat or snack or just overeat, and learned this was mostly due to not eating enough protein. When I get mainly carbs and fat, I can eat and eat and eat and never feel satisfied.

    ALL different types of therapists- cbt, dbt, emdr, process based, etc. The therapist I'm seeing now is actually the first one I've liked after seeing literally dozens of therapists throughout my life I really love her and have made great strides in other life issues with her so it's not an issue with the therapy. It just doesn't help my eating.
  • becoming_the_best_me
    becoming_the_best_me Posts: 66 Member
    staticsplit wrote: »
    In treatment for bulimia, which is now mostly under control except in times of great stress.

    I echo CAT/CBT if you haven't tried that kind of therapy. I found it much more useful than talking therapy. I also did art therapy with a group of 3 other women which was also helpful.

    Making sure you're not restricting too much is a big one. When I eat 1300 calories a day for too long, I am guaranteed a binge within 2 weeks. Once I upped it and tried not to go below 1700, my binges mostly stopped, especially not that I'm trying to maintain, more or less. I find tracking helps me, as I'm aiming to keep to a range of 1700 to 2200 (or up to 2,500 if a heavy training day/high hunger). A lot of the time I'd think I was eating too much, then go 'screw it' and binge, when actually those 'too much' days were usually around maintenance anyway.

    Volume eating--I love having massive salads or mounds of steamed/roasted broccoli/cauliflower/etc.

    Protein--I aim for 70g minimum, but ideally 100g.

    Seconding delaying--I go for a walk and listen to music, an audiobook, or a podcast for half an hour. Or I take a bath/shower. Or I get out of the house and go to a cafe but only bring enough change for a coffee. I do things with my hands--sketching, other crafts, cleaning, writing. Basically, distraction or doing something that calms me down/makes me happy.

    The root of my binging was that I wasn't good at letting myself feel and process my emotions. I also rely too much on external validation rather than trusting my own inner self/purpose. I'm working on tackling this and figure once I do, my lingering food issues will disappear or become manageable.

    I'm not sure how much to up my calories because mfp gives me 1400 for 1 lb a week weight loss. And I binge even after days or weeks of overeating and in a calorie surplus :(
  • lemurcat2
    lemurcat2 Posts: 7,885 Member
    Have you discussed the eating issues with her, asked to focus specifically on the eating? I'm another who thinks CBT techniques work very well with eating issues.

    Beyond that, as someone who struggles with emotional eating (and past addiction), I think learning to feel your feelings is really important, and also a mindfulness approach. What helped me was having weekly and daily goals (as well as longterm) and journaling about them at minimum at the end of the day, and ideally several times throughout the day. If I was tempted to go eat, I'd journal first about why, what was going on, and channel that energy into planning my dinner. If I was upset, I'd focus on sitting with it, vs. blotting it out. Re CBT, I'd work on understanding and countering negative thought patterns. And I added daily meditation to my life. I also find that regular exercise and just having a routine for eating helps a lot.
  • Florida_Superstar
    Florida_Superstar Posts: 194 Member
    becoming_the_best_me wrote: »
    xtrain321 wrote: »
    I've been free of binge eating for years now--after struggling with it for 20 years of my life. :( Therapy helped a lot, so I'd recommend that. Here's what I did in case it helps you or someone else.

    I would always find myself in a frenzied state of mind in the grocery store buying a bunch of "forbidden" foods to binge on--and feeling like I had no idea how it happened, as if I was on auto-pilot.

    My therapist got me to recognize that my mind was already going down that path before I got to the grocery store...so that I could realize I was making a conscious choice to binge. Before that, it had always seemed like something I couldn't control or something that was happening to me. But once I saw that it actually was a choice, it was empowering because that meant I could make a different choice. That's how I started changing my behavior.

    I do believe that the binges were driven by emotion/stress, but I have to say I've never understood exactly what my reasons were--and I got better without understanding the exact root cause.

    Something I found very helpful along the way was realizing that I just really like to feel full and satisfied. I have a huge appetite and I always did, even as a kid. "Normal" portion sizes have just never filled me up. So now I do something called volume eating, though I never realized there was a name for it until recently.

    It is just a way of eating that uses lots of low calorie foods that take up a lot of space in your stomach. This allows me to have a feeling of being full and satisfied while staying within my calorie budget, eating nutritious food, and not binge eating. There is actually a volume eaters thread on MyFitnessPal that is very active. You can get some meal ideas there if you think that would help you.

    I don't eat any of my trigger foods. I just know they send me off track, and I find it easier to avoid them than to try to eat them in moderation. That's just my personal strategy, but in general I think moderation is better if you can manage it.

    Another strategy--I found that the urge actually passes if you can avoid starting the binge immediately. I would tell myself that I could binge later, but usually "later" never came. The urge just went away.

    A few other things that helped me:

    Learning to cook
    Finding lots of healthy foods and recipes that I really like and look forward to
    Pre-logging my food one day in advance
    Prepping food in advance (usually on the weekend)--so I have food ready and don't get too hungry
    Reusing a lot of the same meals and copying them forward in MyFitnessPal
    Increasing protein--it keeps me full longer

    Hope this is helpful.

    Thank you so much that is very helpful! Do you think you could link me to that volume eater's thread?

    I'm so glad! Linking you to the first page, so jump forward a bit for recipes, pictures, ideas...

    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10563959/volume-eaters-thread/p1
  • staticsplit
    staticsplit Posts: 538 Member
    becoming_the_best_me wrote: »
    staticsplit wrote: »
    In treatment for bulimia, which is now mostly under control except in times of great stress.

    I echo CAT/CBT if you haven't tried that kind of therapy. I found it much more useful than talking therapy. I also did art therapy with a group of 3 other women which was also helpful.

    Making sure you're not restricting too much is a big one. When I eat 1300 calories a day for too long, I am guaranteed a binge within 2 weeks. Once I upped it and tried not to go below 1700, my binges mostly stopped, especially not that I'm trying to maintain, more or less. I find tracking helps me, as I'm aiming to keep to a range of 1700 to 2200 (or up to 2,500 if a heavy training day/high hunger). A lot of the time I'd think I was eating too much, then go 'screw it' and binge, when actually those 'too much' days were usually around maintenance anyway.

    Volume eating--I love having massive salads or mounds of steamed/roasted broccoli/cauliflower/etc.

    Protein--I aim for 70g minimum, but ideally 100g.

    Seconding delaying--I go for a walk and listen to music, an audiobook, or a podcast for half an hour. Or I take a bath/shower. Or I get out of the house and go to a cafe but only bring enough change for a coffee. I do things with my hands--sketching, other crafts, cleaning, writing. Basically, distraction or doing something that calms me down/makes me happy.

    The root of my binging was that I wasn't good at letting myself feel and process my emotions. I also rely too much on external validation rather than trusting my own inner self/purpose. I'm working on tackling this and figure once I do, my lingering food issues will disappear or become manageable.

    I'm not sure how much to up my calories because mfp gives me 1400 for 1 lb a week weight loss. And I binge even after days or weeks of overeating and in a calorie surplus :(

    Aim for half a pound a week? It might seem slower but if it results in less bingong could be quicker in the long run. Also are you eating excercise calories?
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    In the past I've had good insight and progress from journaling, just in general. Keeping a gratitude journal was suggested by a former therapist and I thought it sounded so cheesy but it honestly helped me in a lot of ways.

    Now when I log my food, if something's off with me like I'm extra stressed and overeat, I like to make a note for myself in the "food notes" section down on the right hand side of the food entry page. It helps me see patterns over time. For example I experienced a natural disaster in May (years ago) and while in March-April I didn't have any notable emotional overeating...in May I realized it was like 4-5 days of eating a dozen Oreos and other out-of-character things like that. I am maintaining a very large loss (over 100) so I want to keep a handle on these things. For me it seems to be helpful to identify "this stressful thing made me want to eat/drink this as a response". While it doesn't always keep it from happening again, it does make me more AWARE and I find that can help a lot in eliminating some of that unhealthy response to stress. I have lifelong generalized anxiety disorder so while our experiences are different, I do understand that it's not just 1 thing or person that leads to worries/anxiety/emotional distress, it's a bigger thing in your life all of the time.

    I use the full website and not the app so I don't know if that is similar on the app or not.

    Anyway, I wish you the best!
  • Danp
    Danp Posts: 1,561 Member
    I'll preface this post by saying that I am in no way discounting the effect of emotional/stress/etc eating nor am I trying to claim that they're not 'a thing'. That said...

    I used to say I was an comfort/emotional eater and that was the reason I was so overweight. I realised that this wasn't really the case and I was just using it as an excuse to overeat. By saying I was a emotional eater I could absolve myself of responsibility for what I was dong to myself.

    It's not my fault. I can't help it. I am an emotional eater and therefore I am powerless and can't be held responsible for my extraordinary eating binges. I am a victim of circumstance.

    One of the most significant 'light bulb' moments I had that has been a huge factor in my weight management success this time around was when I realised that I can only change things that I take responsibility for. As long as I kept letting external factors be an excuse for my behaviour I was ceding control. So that stopped. I took control and responsibility for my actions.

    In essence I realised while I can't always be responsible for the circumstances, I can ALWAYS be responsible for how I respond.

    If I binged because I was stressed or bored or lonely or sad or whatnot. It wasn't because I was a hopeless "emotional eater", but because I chose to eat instead of dealing with the situation. By acknowledging that this was a choice I was making I empowered myself to do something about it. That it was a choice I could change rather than a circumstance that I was at the mercy of.

    Taking full responsibility like that was at the same time the scariest and most liberating experience in my mind. It's hard to leave the comfort of playing the victim but it's more than outweighed by the feeling that no one and nothing can prevent you from achieving results.
  • becoming_the_best_me
    becoming_the_best_me Posts: 66 Member
    staticsplit wrote: »
    becoming_the_best_me wrote: »
    staticsplit wrote: »
    In treatment for bulimia, which is now mostly under control except in times of great stress.

    I echo CAT/CBT if you haven't tried that kind of therapy. I found it much more useful than talking therapy. I also did art therapy with a group of 3 other women which was also helpful.

    Making sure you're not restricting too much is a big one. When I eat 1300 calories a day for too long, I am guaranteed a binge within 2 weeks. Once I upped it and tried not to go below 1700, my binges mostly stopped, especially not that I'm trying to maintain, more or less. I find tracking helps me, as I'm aiming to keep to a range of 1700 to 2200 (or up to 2,500 if a heavy training day/high hunger). A lot of the time I'd think I was eating too much, then go 'screw it' and binge, when actually those 'too much' days were usually around maintenance anyway.

    Volume eating--I love having massive salads or mounds of steamed/roasted broccoli/cauliflower/etc.

    Protein--I aim for 70g minimum, but ideally 100g.

    Seconding delaying--I go for a walk and listen to music, an audiobook, or a podcast for half an hour. Or I take a bath/shower. Or I get out of the house and go to a cafe but only bring enough change for a coffee. I do things with my hands--sketching, other crafts, cleaning, writing. Basically, distraction or doing something that calms me down/makes me happy.

    The root of my binging was that I wasn't good at letting myself feel and process my emotions. I also rely too much on external validation rather than trusting my own inner self/purpose. I'm working on tackling this and figure once I do, my lingering food issues will disappear or become manageable.

    I'm not sure how much to up my calories because mfp gives me 1400 for 1 lb a week weight loss. And I binge even after days or weeks of overeating and in a calorie surplus :(

    Aim for half a pound a week? It might seem slower but if it results in less bingong could be quicker in the long run. Also are you eating excercise calories?

    Sometimes I eat exercise calories back but I try not to I keep seeing people say not to eat exercise calories back and the Fitbit overestimates it or something
  • becoming_the_best_me
    becoming_the_best_me Posts: 66 Member
    Danp wrote: »
    I'll preface this post by saying that I am in no way discounting the effect of emotional/stress/etc eating nor am I trying to claim that they're not 'a thing'. That said...

    I used to say I was an comfort/emotional eater and that was the reason I was so overweight. I realised that this wasn't really the case and I was just using it as an excuse to overeat. By saying I was a emotional eater I could absolve myself of responsibility for what I was dong to myself.

    It's not my fault. I can't help it. I am an emotional eater and therefore I am powerless and can't be held responsible for my extraordinary eating binges. I am a victim of circumstance.

    One of the most significant 'light bulb' moments I had that has been a huge factor in my weight management success this time around was when I realised that I can only change things that I take responsibility for. As long as I kept letting external factors be an excuse for my behaviour I was ceding control. So that stopped. I took control and responsibility for my actions.

    In essence I realised while I can't always be responsible for the circumstances, I can ALWAYS be responsible for how I respond.

    If I binged because I was stressed or bored or lonely or sad or whatnot. It wasn't because I was a hopeless "emotional eater", but because I chose to eat instead of dealing with the situation. By acknowledging that this was a choice I was making I empowered myself to do something about it. That it was a choice I could change rather than a circumstance that I was at the mercy of.

    Taking full responsibility like that was at the same time the scariest and most liberating experience in my mind. It's hard to leave the comfort of playing the victim but it's more than outweighed by the feeling that no one and nothing can prevent you from achieving results.

    Yeah I get you. It's something I'm gonna work on. I'm reading brain over binge and she has a similar view.
  • mjheva
    mjheva Posts: 2 Member
    Taking responsibility! Wise words, it is so easy to give in to the cravings and the boredom and/or self pity, stress, depression. I am a champion at self medicating with food. I have tried so many plans out there, I would so like a magic fix, but with that path, it is set up for failure, as I want to emotionally hand over my own personal responsibility to the “magic fix” or the latest program. It does end up as another failure.Think about it, personal responsibility is not something that I can give away.

    When I read the words in your post it was an eye opener for me.

    “Taking full responsibility like that was at the same time the scariest and most liberating experience in my mind. It's hard to leave the comfort of playing the victim but it's more than outweighed by the feeling that no one and nothing can prevent you from achieving results.”

    I am going to print that out, thank you
  • brenn24179
    brenn24179 Posts: 2,144 Member
    i am an emotional eater also, always tell myself it is best to be stressed rather than stressed and fat. I have journaled which helps a lot to solve my problems and help me deal. Eating never helped anything but made me fat, for some reason it helps to see it in writing. I did not want to accept a lot of stuff and eating distracted me. I wont fall apart if I accept things I cant change. I dont have to be a victim as others have said, I can take responsibility.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    becoming_the_best_me wrote: »
    staticsplit wrote: »
    becoming_the_best_me wrote: »
    staticsplit wrote: »
    In treatment for bulimia, which is now mostly under control except in times of great stress.

    I echo CAT/CBT if you haven't tried that kind of therapy. I found it much more useful than talking therapy. I also did art therapy with a group of 3 other women which was also helpful.

    Making sure you're not restricting too much is a big one. When I eat 1300 calories a day for too long, I am guaranteed a binge within 2 weeks. Once I upped it and tried not to go below 1700, my binges mostly stopped, especially not that I'm trying to maintain, more or less. I find tracking helps me, as I'm aiming to keep to a range of 1700 to 2200 (or up to 2,500 if a heavy training day/high hunger). A lot of the time I'd think I was eating too much, then go 'screw it' and binge, when actually those 'too much' days were usually around maintenance anyway.

    Volume eating--I love having massive salads or mounds of steamed/roasted broccoli/cauliflower/etc.

    Protein--I aim for 70g minimum, but ideally 100g.

    Seconding delaying--I go for a walk and listen to music, an audiobook, or a podcast for half an hour. Or I take a bath/shower. Or I get out of the house and go to a cafe but only bring enough change for a coffee. I do things with my hands--sketching, other crafts, cleaning, writing. Basically, distraction or doing something that calms me down/makes me happy.

    The root of my binging was that I wasn't good at letting myself feel and process my emotions. I also rely too much on external validation rather than trusting my own inner self/purpose. I'm working on tackling this and figure once I do, my lingering food issues will disappear or become manageable.

    I'm not sure how much to up my calories because mfp gives me 1400 for 1 lb a week weight loss. And I binge even after days or weeks of overeating and in a calorie surplus :(

    Aim for half a pound a week? It might seem slower but if it results in less bingong could be quicker in the long run. Also are you eating excercise calories?

    Sometimes I eat exercise calories back but I try not to I keep seeing people say not to eat exercise calories back and the Fitbit overestimates it or something

    Unlike other sites which use TDEE calculators, MFP uses the NEAT method (Non-Exercise Activity Thermogenesis), and as such this system is designed for exercise calories to be eaten back. However, many consider the burns given by MFP to be inflated for them and only eat a percentage, such as 50%, back. Others, however, are able to lose weight while eating 100% of their exercise calories.

    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/818082/exercise-calories-again-wtf/p1
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