"You don't look like you've got that much to lose!"

xarra
xarra Posts: 128 Member
edited October 1 in Health and Weight Loss
Anyone else ever get this? I'm 14st 1.5lb atm, and my ideal weight it in the 9st region. I'm a very small boned (size 3-4 feet, UK, minute hands!) woman and I've been told a few times I don't look like I have 5st to lose...

Well, I DO... It's on my thighs, my middle and my chest... And I'm never sure how to respond to it. Do I say that I do, or thanks for the compliment, but it's there?

I just find it slightly off putting that ppl think I'm meant to be this heavy, when I'm not! And it's disheartening to hear!

Anyone?

Replies

  • DancingSquirrel
    DancingSquirrel Posts: 31
    Sometimes people are sincere, sometimes they just need to feel better about themselves by making the ones around them out to be the crazies. What's important is that you are doing this for you and that's the only opinion that really matters!
  • spaingirl2011
    spaingirl2011 Posts: 763 Member
    I've gotten something close to that...mainly, "you can't need to lose that much weight!"

    I usually joke it off and say "that's kind of you, but I know several medical professionals who wouldn't agree!"
  • polo_princess
    polo_princess Posts: 27
    I get this all the time ... granted i havent got a lot to lose, but people telling me that i dont need to lose any at all is hardly helpful!!
  • chevy88grl
    chevy88grl Posts: 3,937 Member
    We are our own worst critics. So, it is VERY possible that the people around us don't think we need to lose as much as weight as *we* think we need to lose. I would just smile, thank them for their kindness and move on. No need to tell them "Yes! I do!" or anything like that. Unless they are just being rude, they are probably complimenting you - in a subtle sort of way. A simple "Thank you" is enough.
  • xarra
    xarra Posts: 128 Member
    Given I'm clinically obese, oh yeah, I'd need to lose weight...
  • moushtie
    moushtie Posts: 371 Member
    I think people have distorted views of what is a healthy weight to be, especially when a lot of the people you see are overweight to some degree. We're all used to seeing larger people, and larger portion sizes. Just take it as half a compliment, and move on.
  • Diary_Queen
    Diary_Queen Posts: 1,314 Member
    Ive heard that a lot since i started blogging elsewhere about my weight loss. Mostly the "I had no idea you were THAT heavy!!!" sort of thing. I mean, I was HUGE... still very very big, but before, I was so fat I could barely make it up 1 flight of stairs without losing my breath. Really...... maybe I carried it well, or maybe people were in as much denial as I was, but I'm glad I took that hard look in the mirror. :)
  • worldhurdler
    worldhurdler Posts: 153 Member
    It could be due to the way you carry your weight, too. When I was heavier (200lbs for a 6'0" woman) people were often shocked when I told them my weight. Basically, I "didn't look like I weighed that much" due to my bone structure and my height. Which has its pluses and minuses - I can gain 5lbs and you don't see it....but I can also lose 5lbs and you don't see it ;-)
    But, at 40lbs lighter, I can definitely tell the difference =) Keep going, and you'll wow them all with how awesome you'll look!
  • rose313
    rose313 Posts: 1,146 Member
    People try to tell me all the time that I don't weigh what I actually weigh. They usually guess I'm 20, even 30 pounds lighter. I don't know if they're blind or if I just carry it really well, but I always just smile and say thanks, but I want to be healthy. Not everyone understands the desire to lose weight, but if you tell them you want to be healthier, anyone can understand the desire to do that.
  • chantihayes
    chantihayes Posts: 76
    i think people just don't want to come off as rude... They don't know how to approach it. I know when I say "I've gotta lose this weight" I don't really want to hear "yeah you do!! " I think it comes down to people want to be polite.
  • treesha450
    treesha450 Posts: 321 Member
    I hear that and I'm still overweight and still have a long way to my goal. I think people do it for different reasons. It irritates me because I feel sometimes they say that to sabotage my diet, like they want me to fail. Sometimes they are trying to be nice by lying about how I look great just the way I am.
    I wish they would either support me or keep their lip zipped.
  • wutamunkee
    wutamunkee Posts: 440 Member
    I wouldnt take it as an insult... people are always dumbfounded when I tell them I am nearly 200 pounds... My BMI says I am obese but I dont feel like I am THAT big... sure I have a way to go but Im not writing myself off yet.

    I think like the person above said, we are our own worst critic... I try to remember that and just go with it.
  • xarra
    xarra Posts: 128 Member
    I think it hit me when I ended up in size 18 trousers (UK) and realised I was heavier than my 5'9" husband!
  • MrsM1ggins
    MrsM1ggins Posts: 724 Member
    This happens to me too, and it's really weird.

    First they start by telling me I look great (which I do enjoy hearing :smokin: ) and then they ask how much weight I've lost (and I tell them) and then they ask how much more I plan to lose which is where it goes a bit screwy...

    I've lost 4 stone (56lb) so far, and have another 2 to go to get to the top of the healthy BMI range. No-one, and I really do mean no-one, believes me when I say I have another 2 stone to lose. Without fail they tell me I don't, and that I'll look terrible if I lose that much weight. I just laugh and say "we'll see".

    I've been very open with my colleagues about what I'm doing and how I'm doing it, so I think that's what gives them the feeling that they're ok to tell me I'm wrong. :laugh:

    I'm not wrong though... So :tongue: to them!
  • pandabear_
    pandabear_ Posts: 487 Member
    Maybe they're just being polite. Instead of saying: "Oh, you have loads to lose then!" (implying you NEED to lose weight and that it will be difficult to do) they're saying you don't have much, implying you look nice anyway but encouraging to lose at the same time.

    :frown: Commenting on people's weight/diet goals is a tricky area.
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
    People always said that to me before too. Ignore them, you know what size you are meant to be.
  • PhoenixRising11
    PhoenixRising11 Posts: 245 Member
    I've had a lot of people say "No WAY! You don't look like you are THAT heavy!!" But I'm quite a tall girl and feel like I have to mention this to people when they say that to me. I still get "You don't need to lose any weight, you're alright" But at the end of the day you should do what makes you feel comfortable and happy in your own skin.
    I want to get to around 10 stone then I know I will be able to fit into all my lovely old clothes and I will be happy. Whatever anyone else says I just let it go over my head, say thanks for the compliment and continue losing weight until I'm happy. :)
  • trailrider1963
    trailrider1963 Posts: 69
    I usually joke it off and say "that's kind of you, but I know several medical professionals who wouldn't agree!"

    My dr. recently congratualated me on losing 16 lbs and when I told him I planned to lose at least 30 more he looked at me and said, "You don't need to lose that much, it may be too much." Hello? 30 more lbs. would put me at 159, still 15 lbs. more than the charts say is right for me.

    I think almost everybody has a very skewed idea of what most people should weigh.
  • cheekymonkeyface
    cheekymonkeyface Posts: 46 Member
    Some people dress well to hide their weight. I think when i was morbidly obese i couldn't hide the fact, but i did dress to hide a lot of it (or so i thought).

    I think people who look at you and say that are people who don't see an overweight person, they just see you :) And that aint a bad person!

    I've lost 89lbs (according to my hospital weigh in last week) and my mother was horrified last week when i told her i still have another 3 stone to go, to get into the top end of the 'normal' range, so i'm guessing really that could realistically be another 4 stone to be perfect. Luckily i don't attain for perfection, but i know where i want to be body wise.

    This sounds gross but when i rub my arms, legs, tum i can feel the excess fat that is waiting to be melted. By the same respect when i'm walking uphill i can see the lovely muscle definition on my legs, which was never there before :)

    I guess what i'm waffling on about is this:; Only you know where you want to be and what you look like naked. We have to love the skin we're in because we can't take it back for a refund, we have to make it fit us!

    I'm just waiting for the comment 'you've lost too much weight, you look haggard'!

    Good luck xx
  • Fochizzy
    Fochizzy Posts: 505 Member
    Given I'm clinically obese, oh yeah, I'd need to lose weight...

    God I use this one. Why do you need to lose weight, your not that heavy? Given that I am at the top end of clinically overweight bordering on obese yes I do. Your tall it doesn't show. Yes but my health still knows. Ahhhhhhhhhh!
  • Bluestar083
    Bluestar083 Posts: 146
    Yup I get 'you don't need to LOSE weight, you need to GAIN weight'
    Well I can tell you my body is much happier at 52-53kg (not less, and not more...well ok 54kg is ok-just) but being 5.9'' I do look slim so I don't tell people I am trying to lose weight, I say something like 'I am on a sugar detox' but since I eat healthy anyway people don't really notice when I am being EXTRA healthy.
    And what do they want me to do, grab the bits of fat from my stomach to prove i need to lose weight?
    Sigh.
    But I am guilty of doing the same thing. Maybe its just politeness-ie you look awesome as you are?
    Let's pretent it is :)
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