Are you hard on yourself?
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OAS5
Posts: 376 Member
Even being down 74 pounds almost I still get hard on myself some days about what I ate for the day. I go over in my head exactly what I ate and kinda scrutinize it. It's kinda a last check of the day in my head.
Some days I get a bit hard on myself too. Does anyone else do this and is it healthy?
Like yesterday I had my usual breakfast and lunch at work. Then when I got home I was a bit hungry so I had 2 bananas with some peanut butter on them. For dinner I had 3 thin crust slices of pizza. I was a bit worried about the peanut butter and was a bit hard myself for having 2 when I got home from work. Anyone that do this and is it normal?
Some days I get a bit hard on myself too. Does anyone else do this and is it healthy?
Like yesterday I had my usual breakfast and lunch at work. Then when I got home I was a bit hungry so I had 2 bananas with some peanut butter on them. For dinner I had 3 thin crust slices of pizza. I was a bit worried about the peanut butter and was a bit hard myself for having 2 when I got home from work. Anyone that do this and is it normal?
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I'm around 7 years into this process now and one of the things I've learned along the way is that food is food. It is not a religion, it is not the key to my happiness, it is not my shame. It's just food
I've removed all emotional attachment to it and I eat to fuel my body and then I move on with my day. It's a learning process though and it does take time to change your relationship and habits with food, as well as all the mental games that come along for the ride
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it's human nature to be our own worst critics. When I was 70 lbs heavier, I almost never looked in the mirror and I certainly didn't take off my shirt unless I was showering and I live alone! Well now I can look in the mirror and take progress photos without a shirt, but even today I find I'm being very hard on myself. Mostly mad, because I let myself go from lean muscular body to OBESE and see the effects it had with some loose skin. With 30 some lbs to go for my goal, I'm hoping it resolves some of these issues, hoping! Even all that being said, I am NOT quitting and neither should you.3
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Interesting answers guys, appreciate it. That's weigh in was actually better than I expected too.😁 8 more pounds to go. Started at 272.6, now at 199.8 with a goal of 190. 190 will finally get me out of the BMI "obese" category to just overweight. BMI is mostly BS to me but would still like to be out of the obese category at some point and stay there.6
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SarahAnne3958 wrote: »I'm around 7 years into this process now and one of the things I've learned along the way is that food is food. It is not a religion, it is not the key to my happiness, it is not my shame. It's just food
I've removed all emotional attachment to it and I eat to fuel my body and then I move on with my day. It's a learning process though and it does take time to change your relationship and habits with food, as well as all the mental games that come along for the ride
@SarahAnne3958 I was 63 in 2014 and on my way out before I cut the emotional attachment to food in a serious way and now only eat to improve my health and health markers. Without trying to lose weight after 40 years of failed dieting for weight loss I went on to lose 50 pounds and have maintained that loss for 4 years now without thought to how much I eat but to what I eat. I do not think I eat much now that does not look like its source. It has been 5 years since I had a Dairy Queen banana split but I had to first give up my emotional attachment to such food if one calls it food. I drive past one or more Dairy Queen's daily but now have no desire to stop. Emotions are powerful and have their place in life but can be dangerous if associated with food in my personal case.
Thanks for your post.5 -
food is food.
if it fits in my calories, its fair game. ice cream, pizza, chips, chinese take out, whatever. nothing is 'off limits'. now, do i eat foods like that every day? no. well, maybe ice cream. but i make it fit LOL
though, i also work out to earn those calories LOL
if i go over my calories, not a big deal. its not the end of the world. it wont cause me to wake up and be obese.4 -
It feels like you have to be hard on yourself to force yourself to stick to your new healthy habits and give up your old unhealthy habits, except it doesn’t work exactly that way. You should be firm in your resolve, yes, and give careful thought to what the situation was when you went wrong, but negative emotions like guilt and shame are more harmful than helpful.
As to your specific examples of peanut butter and bananas and thin crust pizza, I would consider whether I still hit my calorie goal, and my approximate fibre and protein goals. I’ve eaten those exact things guilt free in the right circumstances. I’ve also eaten pizza where I let my desire for it override my desire to stick to my calorie goal. In that case, I try my best to brush off the guilt and just strengthen my resolve instead.2 -
The hardest... though that's ok.. I think we all have to come to a place. Mine is 90% monk, 10 percent hedonist.3
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I'm only 3 months in. I'm really enjoying this experience. I eat delicious foods and am happy with my results so far.
I'm not hard on myself. I don't see a reason to be. The only purpose that would serve would be to make this a negative experience for me. Who needs that?
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I’m my own worst enemy. Even though I’ve lost around 45lbs in 7 months, I still criticise myself. I tend to see my flaws rather than the progress I’ve made. I hope that’ll change 😊4
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I am not hard on myself. I’ve learned to talk to myself as if I were my best friend. Five years ago it was really different. I was my worst critic. But some therapy with a psychologist opened my eyes to how destructive that was. Now I always ask myself “if your best friend told you this (i.e. I ate too much, etc), what would you tell her? That she’s BAD? Or dumb, or never going to lose weight?” Nope. I would tell her I believe in her and that she should just let it go and carry on.
In this life, we must be our own cheerleader. Don’t wait for anyone else to tell you that you are awesome. Tell yourself every day. Forgive yourself. Be your own best friend. It is very calming and way more helpful than criticizing yourself.6 -
Yes, I am extremely hard on myself about this and most things in life. I've been maintaining around 115 pounds for the past four years or so. I started about five years ago at 139 pounds. I get obsessed over data so if I sampled ten different snacks there was no quick adding for me, nope; I weighed every. single. thing. and logged 2g of this and 5g of that because I couldn't help wanting to be as accurate as humanly possible. Seeing myself in the red, even if I was way under and in the green for days prior caused anxiety and led to me thinking I've screwed up or will lose control.
However, I know the underlying reason(s) for this irrational line of thinking; I am aware I'm an extreme case and that I had a problem. I have not allowed myself to log any food or weigh in since August 31st. I'm trying to put on more muscle and there is no way I would have been able to do so with my mindset. The biggest relief for me so far has been food freedom. A few days ago I went to Baskin Robbins and had a kid size of their new vegan ice cream that I have been dying to try but never did because "It's not weighed! What if the 170 calorie ice cream is actually 250? I can estimate but then my macros are off so my data is off and my spreadsheets will be inaccurate!" I enjoyed it happily and life went on; I even tried the second vegan flavor the next day.
I'm going to weigh myself again on October 1st just to see what's going on out of curiosity. My clothes still fit, my life is still good, and the world didn't end because I ate more food one day and less food another day. Some days it's hard but it got easier as time went on. I've found myself worrying less and less. By clothes and a mirror, I pretty much look the same. I have more muscle definition and I feel solid and strong but I'm a bit scared about weighing in and seeing a number I don't expect. At the same time, I still want to weigh in to see how I handle it. If I did gain a few pounds, I'd like to look at it as "Oh wow. I wouldn't have guessed that's what I weigh; I feel the same and everything still fits." instead of "I gained three pounds?! Time to start logging and weighing everything NOW!" like I would have in the past.7 -
... Now I always ask myself “if your best friend told you this (i.e. I ate too much, etc), what would you tell her? That she’s BAD? Or dumb, or never going to lose weight?” Nope. I would tell her I believe in her and that she should just let it go and carry on.
In this life, we must be our own cheerleader. Don’t wait for anyone else to tell you that you are awesome. Tell yourself every day. Forgive yourself. Be your own best friend. It is very calming and way more helpful than criticizing yourself.
Wow. I really really like this. I need to retrain my brain to think this way. I am so fortunate to have replaced some negative people in my life with some super positive and encouraging ones. I need to erase that dark part of my upbringing that hammered on the imperfections and not the pretty darned goods.2 -
I try not to beat myself up. Instead I try to look at it more like "why did I screw up?" on days that I feel like I didn't do a great job with my nutrition and quantities of food. I want to figure out what makes me screw up. Sometimes it's stress, hormones, etc. I work on my responses to stress. More often it's eating too little fat or having a lunch portion that is too small so I set myself up to snack/overeat later in the afternoon or evening. I then try to adjust that.
I don't see myself as a failure even on those (rare) occasions that I eat 3 creme horns because my relatives got on my nerves. I just want to move on and do better the next time I am in that situation. Sometimes it's even a heads up that I've been too restrictive...for example, normally I can eat a small entree and have 1 beer when I am out with friends. But if I haven't dined out much and haven't had a lot of "treats" and feel kinda deprived, I'm more likely to reach for the chips and get a second or third drink. So I try to achieve balance so those extremes aren't needed.0 -
Hmm to outsiders yes but to me most are too soft on themselves and don’t accomplish much because of it. Balance and planning your path has been what is allowing me to move forward. I relish those who are like military and extremely disciplined no matter if they are sick, sad, dog or mom died they do what is needed period. I know most can’t understand that but to master self it takes unabashed honest.2
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