I need motivation!!!!

Here I am starting over, again. I am at my heaviest now and I disgust myself when I look in the mirror. I dont even want my husband to look at me. That all should be motivation in itself. I just cant stop giving into my cravings. I had a baby last October and lost 20lbs with her so I ate what ever I wanted. After her I'm still eating like that but now I went from 220 to 250 in 10 months. I need some motivation. Some other moms that have struggled with this also. I'm just exhausted constantly and dont feel like doing anything. But I need to change. I am determined to do this. By January I want to be down at least 20 pounds. Add me, comment, anything to help. Advice. Support. Anything helps.

Replies

  • I'm hoping that will help. I started yesterday doing this, logging. I just end up forgetting about it usually then I'm days without logging and I'm back to square one. But I'm going to try my hardest to stay consistent and log everything. Hopefully it will give me some motivation like you said. :)
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,996 Member
    Motivation is internal. You can be cheered on, inspired, etc., but IF you don't truly want it, that all falls on deaf ears. As mentioned above, if you're consistent with a program and see some results, THAT is usually what keeps people motivated enough to continue. Unless you change your habitual behavior, you'll always be starting at day one every week.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

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  • emmamcgarity
    emmamcgarity Posts: 1,594 Member
    When you forget to log do your best to go back and enter the historical information to the best of your memory. Continuing to build a habit of logging will help you remember to keep doing it. You might have to estimate portion sizes on historical data but as you move forward you can improve your accuracy day by day. Change can be overwhelming for many of us. Some people also find it helpful to track their meals in advance
  • aracely2224
    aracely2224 Posts: 1,070 Member
    Welcome back! MFP has helped me achieve my goals with the calorie count. I’m cheering for you!

    You can do it! 🌺
  • Ok, so a few things:

    1. Congrats on having a tiny human, there are some like myself who will never know that feeling of pushing forth life into the world and having a loving spouse/partner to go with.
    2. What you do now will affect the life of said tiny human. If your not at fighting weight you can't be the best for them. Don't let them see you not taking care of self as it's just ingrained in them that it's ok and then they accept less than their best for themselves and the world.
    3. Motivation is bs. I live with depression and anxiety. Most days like Mon-Fri I don't have any motivation to get out of bed and go to work but this thing thats always due on the 1st of the month is my reason. It's not euphoria at all it's just I must work in order to pay such or I will make my life worst by being homeless.

    This site is ok it can help be a guide. The focus is real life as if this site goes away you must be able to withstand. I am not the most in love with the site or social media as a whole but get its purpose but the real driver is you.

    This was THE MOST REALEST thing I have ever read. Thank you so much for your kind words and you being so real. This is an eye opener. Thank you.
  • jhelfrich9496
    jhelfrich9496 Posts: 4 Member
    I’m struggling with motivation as well and I’m here if you want an accountability partner!
  • My realization of it being more painful to stay the same outweighs having to change was a couple of months ago when I had to watch my 5yr old go on a ride at the amusement park without me because the seat wouldn't fit. The look of sadness in her eyes was what encouraged me to believe in myself and get healthy so I can be here on earth with her ♡
  • denjan333
    denjan333 Posts: 158 Member
    A few things to help:
    1. Log everything the night before. This way you won't forget and it can help keep you on track. I do this every day - plan my next day, log it, and STICK to it.
    2. Be kind to yourself. Yeah, I know, you don't look how you'd like - yet. But you only hurt yourself by telling yourself that you're "disgusted". Be your own CHEERLEADER. We have probably heard enough criticism. When you do even one tiny thing that helps you progress, celebrate that! If all you did was log one thing, that's good. That's more than you did before. Talk to yourself how you'd talk to a best friend, not an enemy.
    3. Just try to do one thing, but do it every day. Log your food - over, under, sugary, healthy - doesn't matter. Just get into the habit of doing every day. It's the HABIT that helps us, not the motivation. Motivation comes and goes (mostly goes). Habits are what we keep.
    4. Realize that 90% of weight loss is done with diet (as in what you eat, not a fad diet). Exercise is great, but not the be all and end all when it comes to weight loss. So if you only have time for one of those, you know which one has to be cut out first.

    Congrats on the new baby! Enjoy your family. You can do this. Believe it.
  • cvdub16
    cvdub16 Posts: 71 Member
    I feel ya! I recently had my second baby (I have 5 kids all together, blended family. My husband had 3 from a previous and I had 1). I too am struggling to get back out there and loose the remaining 35lbs I need/want to get rid off. So far I haven't done anything to help it. I think I may be suffering from a small case of postpartum. Feel free to add me. :)
  • robbell678
    robbell678 Posts: 140 Member
    edited September 2019
    Be selfish and focus on you.
    Do it for you.
    You’re best reward for bettering yourself will be you as a role model for others.
    You count.
    This is truth.
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 34,318 Member
    One thing to consider is that small changes add up. For example, you mention gaining 30 pounds in 10 months. I'm thinking that sounds like a big number to you. In one sense, it is, but break it down:

    That's about 3/4 of a pound per week. 3/4 of a pound per week is about an extra 375 calories a day. I don't know what you eat, but that could be a bottle of coke and a dozen tortilla chips, maybe. A portion of rich salad dressing and some croutons and cheese on the salad, maybe. A couple of small glasses of wine and some potato chips? A slice of peanut butter toast? An extra portion of spaghetti and meatballs? That's an approximation, but if the 30 pounds in 10 months is accurate, it's not some whole order of magnitude different from that.

    To stop gaining, all you need to do is find enough tweaks to your eating to cut out that many calories. To start losing weight, you would need to cut a bit more. A small bit more would mean slower weight loss, a bigger bit more would be faster weight loss. It can be smaller portions of what you eat now, or maybe dropping or substituting something for some foods that are less important to keeping you full and happy.

    It doesn't have to be all changes in eating: It can be extra movement to burn more calories. Extra movement also doesn't have to be some kind of punitive, time-consuming form of intense exercise, either (though it can be, if you enjoy that ;) ). Taking your baby out in the stroller on nice days for an extra half hour walk counts, for example. Or a few minutes of yoga or some active electronic game or dancing (quietly!) while the baby naps.

    There are things you can do, things that will feel good, maybe even be fun. It isn't necessarily a huge hill to climb, major changes all at once. Small, positive changes add up.

    Best wishes!
  • girlwithcurls2
    girlwithcurls2 Posts: 2,281 Member
    I'm hoping that will help. I started yesterday doing this, logging. I just end up forgetting about it usually then I'm days without logging and I'm back to square one. But I'm going to try my hardest to stay consistent and log everything. Hopefully it will give me some motivation like you said. :)

    Just keep going. If you stray and forget to log because it's not habit, KEEP TRYING. If you stick to your program, you will see results. As Ann mentioned, it might be faster or slower depending on your deficit, but either way, work toward meeting your calorie goal. When you go over, log and move on. I have a feeling that you need some success under your belt. It's hard at the beginning when we mentally commit, but our bodies haven't changed yet.

    One other thought-is there anything you want to learn to do, or want to sign up for, or want to start again? For me, having a fitness goal helps tremendously because then my workouts are part of my plan toward better health. Just a thought.