Help or guidance?

rar0810
rar0810 Posts: 18 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Hi all,

So I’m a 38 (going on 39) year old female, 2 kids, 4 pregnancies - out of whack hormones caused two miscarriages).

I’m wondering if anyone could offer some guidance to me. I’m struggling to lose any weight. If I go above 1350 or close to 1400 calories per day, it seems I can’t lose anything. I am trying to be active and walk or do some aerobic exercises with my 12 year old son daily, Fitbit tracking steps/heart rate/etc.

I don’t know if it’s something with me and my hormones or body make up or what. I had been down 5-6 pounds from January, now back up to 3 pounds lost. Body fat (according to my scale) hasn’t changed much, I don’t think.

I know others of my dad’s side of the family, and my dad, have had similar struggles - where it feels like you have to eat practically nothing all day to lose any weight.

When we take a walk, it’s not a leisurely stroll - we aim for an 18 minute walking mile right now (with an 8 year old tagging along too and us pushing ourselves).

Anyway, I just don’t know what to do. I’ve tried aiming to 1300 calories at the most each day, then get cranky and moody with my kids, which I know might go away, but seems like that’s all I can do to lose any weight.

I WANT to lose weight and get healthier for myself and my kids and be a good example for them! I feel lost and stuck and just have no one to help hold me accountable with eating and tracking, which I know helps sometimes too. But yeah, just frustrated with my body and not knowing what to do.

Thanks for reading!

Replies

  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    How long have you been trying to lose?

    What is making you cranky? Are you hungry often or are you feeling weak and tired?
  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,439 Member
    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1080242/a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants/p1
  • L1zardQueen
    L1zardQueen Posts: 8,753 Member
    nnnaq5rggu08.jpg
  • rar0810
    rar0810 Posts: 18 Member
    NovusDies wrote: »
    How long have you been trying to lose?

    What is making you cranky? Are you hungry often or are you feeling weak and tired?

    If I’m honest, been several years - do great, lose a little and everything stops and just get frustrated and give up. Been in the same 3 pound weight range for at least 5 months now, which is down 3-5 pounds from what I was in January.

    Cranky I think from eating too little? When I aim to stay at 1300 I just feel moody all the time.
  • rar0810
    rar0810 Posts: 18 Member
    quiksylver296 wrote: »
    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1080242/a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants/p1

    I’ll take a look at that, thanks.
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    rar0810 wrote: »
    NovusDies wrote: »
    How long have you been trying to lose?

    What is making you cranky? Are you hungry often or are you feeling weak and tired?

    If I’m honest, been several years - do great, lose a little and everything stops and just get frustrated and give up. Been in the same 3 pound weight range for at least 5 months now, which is down 3-5 pounds from what I was in January.

    Cranky I think from eating too little? When I aim to stay at 1300 I just feel moody all the time.

    You might find this recent thread of mine interesting:

    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10762903/how-i-went-from-sustainable-to-unsustainable/p1

  • lalalacroix
    lalalacroix Posts: 834 Member
    How are you measuring your food intake? Are you eating back exercise calories? How many?
  • rar0810
    rar0810 Posts: 18 Member
    NovusDies wrote: »
    rar0810 wrote: »
    NovusDies wrote: »
    How long have you been trying to lose?

    What is making you cranky? Are you hungry often or are you feeling weak and tired?

    If I’m honest, been several years - do great, lose a little and everything stops and just get frustrated and give up. Been in the same 3 pound weight range for at least 5 months now, which is down 3-5 pounds from what I was in January.

    Cranky I think from eating too little? When I aim to stay at 1300 I just feel moody all the time.

    You might find this recent thread of mine interesting:

    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10762903/how-i-went-from-sustainable-to-unsustainable/p1

    Thanks, I’ll take a look at it
  • rar0810
    rar0810 Posts: 18 Member
    lalalacroix wrote: »
    How are you measuring your food intake? Are you eating back exercise calories? How many?


    Measuring food with either measuring cups or a food scale - some I’ve done enough I can eyeball now, but today going to start measuring everything again, even if I think I know what it is.

    No, not eating back exercise calories. My exercise is whatever the Fitbit app tells MFP to add. I have negative calorie enabled as well on MFP in case I’m not very active some day :)
  • rar0810
    rar0810 Posts: 18 Member
    Current goal set to 1.5 pounds to lose per week, calories per day from MFP is set to 1310 - goes up as the FitBit app adds in exercise, but today I’m aiming for no more than 1400 calories food intake, lower if I somehow am not too active today and not many exercise (FitBit) calories are added in.
  • gallicinvasion
    gallicinvasion Posts: 1,015 Member
    If you don’t mind us asking, would you provide your starting weight, current weight, and goal weight, as well as your height?

    1.5 lbs a week might create too aggressive a deficit for you, giving you a low calorie target and making it tough to stick to long-term. Then when you fall off the proverbial wagon because 1300 calories is unsustainable, you end up eating more and eliminating that aggressive deficit, causing you to spin your wheels instead of move progressively downward.

    Have you tried setting to 1 or .5 lbs a week to lose instead? This would give you more calories to use daily, and might help you plan your meals so that you can have a satisfying day of food without feeling like you’re deprived. That should help you stick to your plan for the long-haul. And you’d still be losing weight, just at a slightly slower rate than you’re currently trying for (which you say is not really sticking anyway).
  • rar0810
    rar0810 Posts: 18 Member
    gallicinvasion wrote: »
    If you don’t mind us asking, would you provide your starting weight, current weight, and goal weight, as well as your height?

    1.5 lbs a week might create too aggressive a deficit for you, giving you a low calorie target and making it tough to stick to long-term. Then when you fall off the proverbial wagon because 1300 calories is unsustainable, you end up eating more and eliminating that aggressive deficit, causing you to spin your wheels instead of move progressively downward.

    Have you tried setting to 1 or .5 lbs a week to lose instead? This would give you more calories to use daily, and might help you plan your meals so that you can have a satisfying day of food without feeling like you’re deprived. That should help you stick to your plan for the long-haul. And you’d still be losing weight, just at a slightly slower rate than you’re currently trying for (which you say is not really sticking anyway).

    Beginning of the year I was 180, as of yesterday 177 (ranges between 175-177), goal weight 150 (to start with), and I am 5’4”.

    Guess it seems like when I eat anything over 1400 calories a day I can’t lose any weight, I stay the same or gain, which is why I was aiming on the low end of calories, aiming for around 1400 per day.
  • steveko89
    steveko89 Posts: 2,223 Member
    rar0810 wrote: »
    gallicinvasion wrote: »
    If you don’t mind us asking, would you provide your starting weight, current weight, and goal weight, as well as your height?

    1.5 lbs a week might create too aggressive a deficit for you, giving you a low calorie target and making it tough to stick to long-term. Then when you fall off the proverbial wagon because 1300 calories is unsustainable, you end up eating more and eliminating that aggressive deficit, causing you to spin your wheels instead of move progressively downward.

    Have you tried setting to 1 or .5 lbs a week to lose instead? This would give you more calories to use daily, and might help you plan your meals so that you can have a satisfying day of food without feeling like you’re deprived. That should help you stick to your plan for the long-haul. And you’d still be losing weight, just at a slightly slower rate than you’re currently trying for (which you say is not really sticking anyway).

    Beginning of the year I was 180, as of yesterday 177 (ranges between 175-177), goal weight 150 (to start with), and I am 5’4”.

    Guess it seems like when I eat anything over 1400 calories a day I can’t lose any weight, I stay the same or gain, which is why I was aiming on the low end of calories, aiming for around 1400 per day.

    "Ideal" weight for your height is 145 so you really don't have that far to go in the grand scheme of things. I'd agree with the others that you should be targeting slower loss rate and should find it sustainable. Getting back to using your food scale and logging accurately 100% of the time should answer a lot of questions too.
  • rar0810
    rar0810 Posts: 18 Member
    StaciMarie2020 wrote: »
    This is more for you to think about - you don't have to hash it all out here if you don't want to.

    When you start eating at a calorie goal - how consistent are you? Do you give it a week or two, then have a few bad days/weeks? Or are you eating at that level 6-7 days each week for weeks at a time? And on the odd days where you are not eating at that level, what is your food behavior like? Do you splurge/binge and not track the calories?

    The reason I ask is that it takes time and consistency to see results. But we are human and we don't have good luck with patience. So its really easy to have a 'good' week or two - then not see as much progress on the scale as we want - and then 'relapse' into old habits where we're over-eating and not tracking.

    Since you started in January - has there been a single 4 week period where you were on track totally? That is, where you logged everything everyday even if it was not ideal? In my opinion this is a good starting point. Weigh all solids, measure all liquids, and account for e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g that goes in. Try to have as much control over your food as possible for those 4 weeks. By that I mean making your own food and/or eating at places that are fairly routine in their food processes. Eating food cooked by someone else where you have to guess at the contents needs to be an exception rather than a rule. This is so you can KNOW as much as possible about what is truly being consumed. Then repeat the 4 week increments, choosing if & when to allow yourself a little more flexibility in what you eat and how much control you have over the food prep.

    Please forgive me if I'm making assumptions that are not true - I just think that with consistency and accuracy you can see gradual progress. Also make sure expectations are realistic. 4-6 pounds per month may not sound like anything major, but would be great progress.

    For my 'story' I went from about 175-180 (don't know my exact starting point) in late Dec 2013 to 128 in October 2014. Counting calories. Moving more. Eating 1500-1700 for most of that, adjusting up or down a little as needed to account for exceptions to activity level. Then stayed around 130 for a while, and was 135 this time last year. Now I'm working to get back to the 130ish area. Logging and being a bit OCD with a food scale, and making choices regarding food. For me that means no mindless eating. I may eat 'junk' but its by choice and in a limited portion!

    I appreciate the post. There was a several month period this year where I consistently tracked everything I ate or drank. I would give myself 1 day a week to not track, but would still watch what and how much I ate. I lost maybe 2-3 pounds in that couple month period - that was staying between 1300-1400 calories a day, and trying to exercise (aerobic type) every day.

    Today has been going great so far. Knew what was for supper and already had that in before I had a little breakfast.
  • DancingMoosie
    DancingMoosie Posts: 8,619 Member
    I started with 1350 as a calorie goal and started losing quickly. Are you eating enough protein? Try to stay diligent, even on weekends for at least a month, and see what happens. Reevaluate from there.
  • StaciMarie2020
    StaciMarie2020 Posts: 68 Member
    To second DancingMoose - experiment with different macros. Calories count for weight loss, but macros can matter for how you feel on those calories. So making a change (more protein or fat, less carbs for example) could help you feel full for longer without taking in more calories. And could matter for your mood also.

    I have a cousin who is presently do low carb - she needs to be careful of certain carb quantities anyhow for some health reasons - and finds it very filling. I don't try to 'limit' my carbs, but I do try to boost my protein and veggie intake. We each have to find our own combination.
  • rar0810
    rar0810 Posts: 18 Member
    Thanks so much for all the help and suggestions and all - so so helpful! I do appreciate it all greatly.

    Today went really good and felt good all day! Determined to work hard and get this weight down - for me to feel better, be good example for my kids... hoping this continues :)
  • Strudders67
    Strudders67 Posts: 989 Member
    edited September 2019
    Also, be aware that MFP is designed for you to eat your exercise calories. If you're under-eating, that may explain you feeling irritable.

    If you reduce your weight loss rate to 1lb a week (or even .75) and also eat at least some of your exercise calories, you may find it easier. It'll be slow going, but that's true for most of us who don't have much to lose now, and it'll be far easier to stay on track.

    Make sure you're weighing all solids too. Only use measuring cups for liquids.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    rar0810 wrote: »
    StaciMarie2020 wrote: »
    This is more for you to think about - you don't have to hash it all out here if you don't want to.

    When you start eating at a calorie goal - how consistent are you? Do you give it a week or two, then have a few bad days/weeks? Or are you eating at that level 6-7 days each week for weeks at a time? And on the odd days where you are not eating at that level, what is your food behavior like? Do you splurge/binge and not track the calories?

    The reason I ask is that it takes time and consistency to see results. But we are human and we don't have good luck with patience. So its really easy to have a 'good' week or two - then not see as much progress on the scale as we want - and then 'relapse' into old habits where we're over-eating and not tracking.

    Since you started in January - has there been a single 4 week period where you were on track totally? That is, where you logged everything everyday even if it was not ideal? In my opinion this is a good starting point. Weigh all solids, measure all liquids, and account for e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g that goes in. Try to have as much control over your food as possible for those 4 weeks. By that I mean making your own food and/or eating at places that are fairly routine in their food processes. Eating food cooked by someone else where you have to guess at the contents needs to be an exception rather than a rule. This is so you can KNOW as much as possible about what is truly being consumed. Then repeat the 4 week increments, choosing if & when to allow yourself a little more flexibility in what you eat and how much control you have over the food prep.

    Please forgive me if I'm making assumptions that are not true - I just think that with consistency and accuracy you can see gradual progress. Also make sure expectations are realistic. 4-6 pounds per month may not sound like anything major, but would be great progress.

    For my 'story' I went from about 175-180 (don't know my exact starting point) in late Dec 2013 to 128 in October 2014. Counting calories. Moving more. Eating 1500-1700 for most of that, adjusting up or down a little as needed to account for exceptions to activity level. Then stayed around 130 for a while, and was 135 this time last year. Now I'm working to get back to the 130ish area. Logging and being a bit OCD with a food scale, and making choices regarding food. For me that means no mindless eating. I may eat 'junk' but its by choice and in a limited portion!

    I appreciate the post. There was a several month period this year where I consistently tracked everything I ate or drank. I would give myself 1 day a week to not track, but would still watch what and how much I ate. I lost maybe 2-3 pounds in that couple month period - that was staying between 1300-1400 calories a day, and trying to exercise (aerobic type) every day.

    Today has been going great so far. Knew what was for supper and already had that in before I had a little breakfast.

    Those "not tracking" days can be more perilous than you think ;)

    If your goal was to lose a pound a week, and you ended up losing 2-3 pounds per month, those "not tracking" days are the likely culprit.

    If your goal was to lose 2 pounds a week, you were probably using some bad entries in your food diary. Moving forward, I recommend no non-tracking days. If you continue to not lose as expected over at least a month, please change your Diary Sharing settings to Public: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/account/diary_settings
  • rar0810
    rar0810 Posts: 18 Member
    kshama2001 wrote: »
    rar0810 wrote: »
    StaciMarie2020 wrote: »
    This is more for you to think about - you don't have to hash it all out here if you don't want to.

    When you start eating at a calorie goal - how consistent are you? Do you give it a week or two, then have a few bad days/weeks? Or are you eating at that level 6-7 days each week for weeks at a time? And on the odd days where you are not eating at that level, what is your food behavior like? Do you splurge/binge and not track the calories?

    The reason I ask is that it takes time and consistency to see results. But we are human and we don't have good luck with patience. So its really easy to have a 'good' week or two - then not see as much progress on the scale as we want - and then 'relapse' into old habits where we're over-eating and not tracking.

    Since you started in January - has there been a single 4 week period where you were on track totally? That is, where you logged everything everyday even if it was not ideal? In my opinion this is a good starting point. Weigh all solids, measure all liquids, and account for e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g that goes in. Try to have as much control over your food as possible for those 4 weeks. By that I mean making your own food and/or eating at places that are fairly routine in their food processes. Eating food cooked by someone else where you have to guess at the contents needs to be an exception rather than a rule. This is so you can KNOW as much as possible about what is truly being consumed. Then repeat the 4 week increments, choosing if & when to allow yourself a little more flexibility in what you eat and how much control you have over the food prep.

    Please forgive me if I'm making assumptions that are not true - I just think that with consistency and accuracy you can see gradual progress. Also make sure expectations are realistic. 4-6 pounds per month may not sound like anything major, but would be great progress.

    For my 'story' I went from about 175-180 (don't know my exact starting point) in late Dec 2013 to 128 in October 2014. Counting calories. Moving more. Eating 1500-1700 for most of that, adjusting up or down a little as needed to account for exceptions to activity level. Then stayed around 130 for a while, and was 135 this time last year. Now I'm working to get back to the 130ish area. Logging and being a bit OCD with a food scale, and making choices regarding food. For me that means no mindless eating. I may eat 'junk' but its by choice and in a limited portion!

    I appreciate the post. There was a several month period this year where I consistently tracked everything I ate or drank. I would give myself 1 day a week to not track, but would still watch what and how much I ate. I lost maybe 2-3 pounds in that couple month period - that was staying between 1300-1400 calories a day, and trying to exercise (aerobic type) every day.

    Today has been going great so far. Knew what was for supper and already had that in before I had a little breakfast.

    Those "not tracking" days can be more perilous than you think ;)

    If your goal was to lose a pound a week, and you ended up losing 2-3 pounds per month, those "not tracking" days are the likely culprit.

    If your goal was to lose 2 pounds a week, you were probably using some bad entries in your food diary. Moving forward, I recommend no non-tracking days. If you continue to not lose as expected over at least a month, please change your Diary Sharing settings to Public: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/account/diary_settings

    That makes sense. Always felt that one day of not tracking - but still watching - helped me not go crazy from tracking every day and usually on a busy day. It’s a good month if I ever lost 3 pounds in it. Last time I had a big weight loss, it took me 10-11 months to lose 20 or so pounds I believe. Then several years later and over the coarse of a year or two it all came back on and now doesn’t want to leave it seems.
  • alexandramyers
    alexandramyers Posts: 23 Member
    edited September 2019
    I drink water, so much water. .5-1 ounce per pound of body weight. Sometimes i go over 1 oz per body weight, but I try not to because I don't want to become too waterlogged. Drinking water helps me feeling full. Your mind doesn't like to be devoid of nutrients, that's true hunger. Focus on the quality of food, not just the quantity. The more quality we have, the better our bodies act on it.
    [edited by MFP mods]

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