So depressed and alcohol has become my bestfriend

So...back in 2012 I lost 60 pounds and over 60” in 4 months....I counted calories. Starting out at 1200 and moving up to 1400. I used 30 min shred by Jillian Michaels and ate healthier than I had ever eaten in my entire life. I went from 250 down to 190....then the holidays came. I come from a family that makes dozens upon dozens of cookies from October they the new year. That did it for me. I gained 30 lbs back. I quit counting calories, started eating horribly again....I’ve lost 10 lbs here and there but always gained it back and then some. I’m currently sitting at about 270 which is the most I have ever weighed in my life. I struggle so hard to get back the original motivation. There’s a lot of factors for my depression....we are broke, everything keeps breaking down (washer, drier, cars, etc). I have no motivation to do anything anymore. I started doing shots of vodka or rum to get through back pain (from previous car accident) while we were installing hardwood floors in my house. It became a habit and I can’t kick it now. I don’t eat terrible but I don’t track either because I know whatever I drink is packing on the cals. I want to lose weight so bad but there’s no support here. My SO says he wants to do it with me but his will power is worse than mine. He says “show me what to do and I’ll do it”. It when I have no motivation for myself, how can I help him??? It’s a viscous circle and I can’t seem to break it.
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Replies

  • Cahgetsfit
    Cahgetsfit Posts: 1,913 Member
    I agree with the AA thing. I have a friend who has been very successful with AA (and all sorts of other As like NA and SLAA and some other A). Maybe the SO should go too. Things sound very spiraly in your world. As in downwards spiral-y.

    Why would you have shots when it's not even a party?

    I get it (sort of) for the back pain, but isn't paracetamol cheaper than a bottle of vodka? So if you're in financial difficulties, perhaps buying alcohol isn't the best use of your limited budget???

    Total waste of $ IMO.
  • mariececilia10
    mariececilia10 Posts: 77 Member
    Jmbean84 wrote: »
    So...back in 2012 I lost 60 pounds and over 60” in 4 months....I counted calories. Starting out at 1200 and moving up to 1400. I used 30 min shred by Jillian Michaels and ate healthier than I had ever eaten in my entire life. I went from 250 down to 190....then the holidays came. I come from a family that makes dozens upon dozens of cookies from October they the new year. That did it for me. I gained 30 lbs back. I quit counting calories, started eating horribly again....I’ve lost 10 lbs here and there but always gained it back and then some. I’m currently sitting at about 270 which is the most I have ever weighed in my life. I struggle so hard to get back the original motivation. There’s a lot of factors for my depression....we are broke, everything keeps breaking down (washer, drier, cars, etc). I have no motivation to do anything anymore. I started doing shots of vodka or rum to get through back pain (from previous car accident) while we were installing hardwood floors in my house. It became a habit and I can’t kick it now. I don’t eat terrible but I don’t track either because I know whatever I drink is packing on the cals. I want to lose weight so bad but there’s no support here. My SO says he wants to do it with me but his will power is worse than mine. He says “show me what to do and I’ll do it”. It when I have no motivation for myself, how can I help him??? It’s a viscous circle and I can’t seem to break it.

    Start tracking everything. All the calories from everything you eat and drink. Seeing the numbers might help you decide to not blow your calories on alcohol. A lot of people find that when they get better at tracking and managing their calories in/calories out those skills transfer to managing their finances and other areas of their lives as well.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 32,276 Member
    I agree 100% that the alcohol has to go, for all the reasons.

    I hope you'll find a way to stop drinking for good, and you may have to do it without your SO's "support."

    It's an inside job, anyway. Only you can stop pouring alcohol into your own mouth.
  • MichelleWithMoxie
    MichelleWithMoxie Posts: 1,819 Member
    sounds to me like you should kick the alcohol for awhile, and maybe the SO too. You seem to be in a dark place right now, but that means it can only go up from here right? ((hugs))
  • Healthydiner65
    Healthydiner65 Posts: 1,579 Member
    Alcoholism is a disease! Consider AA meetings! They work if you work it!
  • oilphins
    oilphins Posts: 240 Member
    Jmbean84 wrote: »
    Thing is (and I know this totally sounds like an addicts excuse) I CAN stop. There’s a lot of days where I’m like “ I’m not drinking today” and I don’t! But then there’s the SO issue where he says go get me some shots and I figure if he’s drinking I might as well too...there’s just no support. I know it sounds like a crappy excuse....and maybe I am a full blown alcoholic in denial...I don’t even know anymore.....I just know I avoid mirrors and I hate the way I look...I know what I have to do....I just can’t seem to do it on my own. 🤷🏼‍♀️

    My mother was an alcoholic until the day she died and just because you stop drinking for a while doesn't mean everything's better. She could go 3 months without touching a drink and then she would disappear for a week on a drinking binge. She was only 67 when she passed away. If you have to turn to alcohol for your problems, you need to get help. The first step is admitting you have a problem. People can't tell you to get help unless you admit you have a drinking problem. My dad tried for years to get my mother to stop drinking and it never worked because she didn't think she had a problem. Just some advice from someone who grew up in that environment. It sounds like your drinking is more of a problem than your weight. Please do the right thing for yourself.
  • sammidelvecchio
    sammidelvecchio Posts: 791 Member
    You might even meet a companion at AA that is also in a similar situation and wants to lose weight too.
  • phildog50
    phildog50 Posts: 30 Member
    You have to do it for YOU, the weight loss, drinking. Don't let excuses or BF sabotage you.
  • CSARdiver
    CSARdiver Posts: 6,256 Member
    edited September 2019
    Well, no. You can't stop. Not alone anyway. None of us can.

    Addicts do so as a means of escape. Look at it this way - you did this during a difficult time to survive, but now realizing that this isn't enough. You need and deserve more, so take the steps needed to earn more.

    I agree with the other sentiments regarding AA or similar program. Nothing but good there.
  • mmccloy12
    mmccloy12 Posts: 151 Member
    If you feel AA may not be for you, and I understand that because I was there, there are other resources to help you with stopping or moderating alcohol. In my case, I can't moderate. I can go a long periods of time without drinking, but when I do look out. I realized I may not be your "typical" alcoholic but I definitely am one. There are some threads on MFP that focus on being alcohol free or moderation, that could be a start! It really is helpful when you have others that are in the same place as you. I also read a blog "Tired of thinking about drinking" and there are so many other things out there to help you. Just Google it :) I agree with others that taking care of the drinking first will help with the weight loss and you overall well being. The stress of trying to quit that and lose weight and the other challenges you have is too much! You will feel better and be more motivated to start the weight loss again.
  • ama3387
    ama3387 Posts: 242 Member
    I understand. I’m 3 1/2 years sober. I’m willing to chat if you’d like. It’s hard and I am lucky my husband went off to rehab the day I quit drinking. But you can do it with or without your SO support.