Avoiding Social Situations Because of Size...

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leafylee
leafylee Posts: 56
in Health and Weight Loss
So, i have a meeting with an old college professor, who wants to mentor me and develop some of my work... but i am so different than the last time he saw me, that i am nervous about the meeting. the last time he saw me i was about 60 pounds lighter, and it was only a year ago.

how do you prepare yourself for meetings with people who have not seen you at your highest weight? i love his input on my work and really look forward to seeing him, but i want to schedule the meeting for april because i need a few weeks to lose at least some weight.

any tips for how i should handle this without losing the chance to work with him, but while holding on to the last little bits of my physical self esteem?

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  • leafylee
    leafylee Posts: 56
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    So, i have a meeting with an old college professor, who wants to mentor me and develop some of my work... but i am so different than the last time he saw me, that i am nervous about the meeting. the last time he saw me i was about 60 pounds lighter, and it was only a year ago.

    how do you prepare yourself for meetings with people who have not seen you at your highest weight? i love his input on my work and really look forward to seeing him, but i want to schedule the meeting for april because i need a few weeks to lose at least some weight.

    any tips for how i should handle this without losing the chance to work with him, but while holding on to the last little bits of my physical self esteem?
  • annathelu
    annathelu Posts: 127 Member
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    Leafy,

    i know this isn't what you want to hear. But, i'm sure your former prof isn't interested in your appearance. I wouldn't let your self confidence get in the way of your career/studies. That said, I know how it feels. I stayed away from some old friends for quite a while because I was ashamed at the weight I'd gained. i regretted it too, because now several of them have moved farther away from me. It was silly because i know they cared about me for who I am, just as I presume your teacher cares about your work.

    Besides, i doubt you'd be able to to drop the 70 by April, but maybe some of it.

    Just go in and be confident!
  • Joanneh
    Joanneh Posts: 40 Member
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    I second Annathelu. He is not going to be any less helpful to you because you've gained weight - try to put yourself in his shoes and think about what he'll actually be thinking - he might think 'she's put on a little weight but she is still the same person underneath'. He is not going to think ' she's put on weight therefore I now dislike her and am unwilling to help her'. If he does, well then maybe he is not as intelliget as you thought!
  • firewalking
    firewalking Posts: 335 Member
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    Your weight has nothing at all to do with your abilities. He is after your brain and that has only improved over time. Hold your head up and be proud of who you are. You are more than pounds and ounces.
  • leafylee
    leafylee Posts: 56
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    Thank you so much guys... after thinking about it, i should really use this opportunity as a way to build my self confidence, not only academically, but personally as well. he is taking the time to help me, so i should go out of my way to make an appointment to see him as soon as possible.

    thanks all!
  • gabesky
    gabesky Posts: 10
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    I know how you feel but you cant let that get in your way. Be happy that you have taken a great step in achieving your weight loss, and not what you look like now. I feel a lot more confident just because i diet/exercise and im still overweight. Just stay strong! You never know what will happen day to day so see him and be happy! I hope it goes well hun
  • heal4444
    heal4444 Posts: 709
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    :heart: Learning. :heart: Teaching.

    What is it that you would like to learn from your professor?:heart:
    What is it that you would like your professor to learn from you?:heart:

    :heart: Love yourself no matter what.:heart:
    :heart: Love your life no matter what.:heart:
    :heart: Love this very moment no matter what.:heart:
  • gone2gym2befit
    gone2gym2befit Posts: 26
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    You are so much more than the number on your scale! What I wouldn't give for someone to approach me and say they were interested in my work and they wanted to work w/ me on developing it further. We all have a body, a brain, a soul, etc. It's the combination of all these that make us who we are. So your body has some extra pound it's carrying around, but your brain seems a lot heavier to me!!! GO Girl...be confident
  • porka29
    porka29 Posts: 868 Member
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    I know what you mean cause even though I don't avoid social situations, I find myself getting all worked up and stressed (I stress about photos that haven't even been taken yet!) out worrying and in the end its fine.......I hate that I do it. Life is too short.............but I do understand:blushing:
  • KatWood
    KatWood Posts: 1,135 Member
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    I agree with what everyone has written and I want to add that I totally understand. I avoided family get togethers for a long time for the same reason.
  • Brenda_1965
    Brenda_1965 Posts: 314 Member
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    I'm going to see an old friend at the end of April. Fortunately I have lost 18 lbs already, but a longer term goal is helpful in keeping me focused. I'm hoping to get down 15-20 more lbs by then. I know it's not right, but I do the same thing.

    My 20 year class reunion was anxiety provoking, but you know, everyone else was heavier than in high school. They didn't seem to even notice I was bigger (all 80 lbs extra). :frown:

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