How Do You Tell People You’re Counting?

So after several failed attempts I have learned that the main reason I don’t successfully bulk is because when I break my counting routine I end up spinning my wheels and quitting (basically assuming I undereat when I go out because it is so easy to overeat instead when not tracking). I am determined this time to succeed on a bulk which means limiting the days I go out to eat to once a week. However, I still want to hang with friends obviously, who all seem to make consuming calories the only way to really hang out (drinking alcohol or eating meals out). How do you explain to people you are following a macro tracking program to fulfill your goals?

Replies

  • I don’t go into great detail. My friends know I lift but I wouldn’t bore them with the ins and outs of my diet. Why do you think your friends need to know?

    If you are just going out once or twice a week during a bulking period it should be no big deal. If a lot of booze is involved you could volunteer to drive or just say you’re training the next day so don’t want to get wasted
  • dpr73
    dpr73 Posts: 495 Member
    I don’t go into great detail. My friends know I lift but I wouldn’t bore them with the ins and outs of my diet. Why do you think your friends need to know?

    If you are just going out once or twice a week during a bulking period it should be no big deal. If a lot of booze is involved you could volunteer to drive or just say you’re training the next day so don’t want to get wasted

    Yeah it’s once or twice a week max. That’s what I’m trying to stick to. This won’t throw off my weight trend? I’m trying to stick to 0.5lbs a week gain and don’t want to go too far above that rate or end up spinning my wheels by diminishing the surplus
  • Diatonic12
    Diatonic12 Posts: 32,344 Member
    I don't told tell my friends or coworkers what I'm doing on MFP. No one has to live in my body and it's nunya bees wax. I'm moderating myself with food and drinks wherever I go. Life doesn't stop at the data gathering place, MFP. Simply live and moderate yourself. No one really pays that much attention to what we're doing. They're too busy enjoying their own drinks and meals and life.

  • sardelsa
    sardelsa Posts: 9,812 Member
    I don't tell people when I am bulking or cutting, although they are usually surprised I eat so much especially on a bulk and still manage to stay so lean.
    For me when I go out I tend to overdo it just in case to make sure I am in a surplus. I always end up with around a 0.5lb per week gain but I really have to deliberately eat until I am very full and I have a good idea when I am in a surplus. To be honest I would rather be a little over than under because a small extra amount of fat gain is insignificant to me as I know it will come off when I cut.

    If going out does not work with your goals, go out every other week or limit outings that involve food. You can try to save up calories for that day just be careful you are not over restricting as you could not end up meeting your calorie goals. Track your weight and go from there.
  • dpr73
    dpr73 Posts: 495 Member
    edited October 2019
    sardelsa wrote: »
    I don't tell people when I am bulking or cutting, although they are usually surprised I eat so much especially on a bulk and still manage to stay so lean.
    For me when I go out I tend to overdo it just in case to make sure I am in a surplus. I always end up with around a 0.5lb per week gain but I really have to deliberately eat until I am very full and I have a good idea when I am in a surplus. To be honest I would rather be a little over than under because a small extra amount of fat gain is insignificant to me as I know it will come off when I cut.

    If going out does not work with your goals, go out every other week or limit outings that involve food. You can try to save up calories for that day just be careful you are not over restricting as you could not end up meeting your calorie goals. Track your weight and go from there.

    I guess I just fear the extra fat gain cause I don’t wanna become out of shape and grow out of clothes on a short bulk (+15lbs). However, then I end up spinning my wheels. The days out are certainly my trigger to worrying about my progress but I think the concern is more deeply rooted in FFB syndrome TBH
  • dpr73
    dpr73 Posts: 495 Member
    jdog022 wrote: »
    dpr73 wrote: »
    So after several failed attempts I have learned that the main reason I don’t successfully bulk is because when I break my counting routine I end up spinning my wheels and quitting (basically assuming I undereat when I go out because it is so easy to overeat instead when not tracking). I am determined this time to succeed on a bulk which means limiting the days I go out to eat to once a week. However, I still want to hang with friends obviously, who all seem to make consuming calories the only way to really hang out (drinking alcohol or eating meals out). How do you explain to people you are following a macro tracking program to fulfill your goals?

    I don’t tell people anything. You can decline or accept food without explaining motives goals or reasons .

    Unless they invite you out for lunch or dinner
  • sardelsa
    sardelsa Posts: 9,812 Member
    dpr73 wrote: »
    sardelsa wrote: »
    I don't tell people when I am bulking or cutting, although they are usually surprised I eat so much especially on a bulk and still manage to stay so lean.
    For me when I go out I tend to overdo it just in case to make sure I am in a surplus. I always end up with around a 0.5lb per week gain but I really have to deliberately eat until I am very full and I have a good idea when I am in a surplus. To be honest I would rather be a little over than under because a small extra amount of fat gain is insignificant to me as I know it will come off when I cut.

    If going out does not work with your goals, go out every other week or limit outings that involve food. You can try to save up calories for that day just be careful you are not over restricting as you could not end up meeting your calorie goals. Track your weight and go from there.

    I guess I just fear the extra fat gain cause I don’t wanna become out of shape and grow out of clothes on a short bulk (+15lbs). However, then I end up spinning my wheels. The days out are certainly my trigger to worrying about my progress but I think the concern is more deeply rooted in FFB syndrome TBH

    Yea bulking is definitely a mental struggle. For me spinning my wheels and wasting time is so much worse than extra fat gain. With each bulk you get better and trust the process more. Try not to worry and go with it. Train hard, track your progress and go with the flow.
  • aokoye
    aokoye Posts: 3,495 Member
    dpr73 wrote: »
    jdog022 wrote: »
    dpr73 wrote: »
    So after several failed attempts I have learned that the main reason I don’t successfully bulk is because when I break my counting routine I end up spinning my wheels and quitting (basically assuming I undereat when I go out because it is so easy to overeat instead when not tracking). I am determined this time to succeed on a bulk which means limiting the days I go out to eat to once a week. However, I still want to hang with friends obviously, who all seem to make consuming calories the only way to really hang out (drinking alcohol or eating meals out). How do you explain to people you are following a macro tracking program to fulfill your goals?

    I don’t tell people anything. You can decline or accept food without explaining motives goals or reasons .

    Unless they invite you out for lunch or dinner

    You can decline food while not explaining your goals even if you're invited out to lunch, dinner, or breakfast. You can also choose to get food with your friends and eat within your limits. It might take some learning and getting used to, but it's definitely possible. Another option, of course, would be to suggest an activity that doesn't revolve around food.
  • jdog022
    jdog022 Posts: 693 Member
    dpr73 wrote: »
    jdog022 wrote: »
    dpr73 wrote: »
    So after several failed attempts I have learned that the main reason I don’t successfully bulk is because when I break my counting routine I end up spinning my wheels and quitting (basically assuming I undereat when I go out because it is so easy to overeat instead when not tracking). I am determined this time to succeed on a bulk which means limiting the days I go out to eat to once a week. However, I still want to hang with friends obviously, who all seem to make consuming calories the only way to really hang out (drinking alcohol or eating meals out). How do you explain to people you are following a macro tracking program to fulfill your goals?

    I don’t tell people anything. You can decline or accept food without explaining motives goals or reasons .

    Unless they invite you out for lunch or dinner

    I got out to dinner. Usually I have some advanced notice. I plan accordingly. Scout the menu or intermittent fast if needed. I still go out and eat within current goal and nobody has a clue. I’ll order a steak and a beer. Or pasta, etc. I can say I’m full and take left overs home. Nobody is paying very close attention unless you give them nosy reasons to. If you go down the path of some extreme diet like keto or vegan or carnivore then yea it’s gonna be harder to keep that a secret. I’m If it fits your macros and flexible dieting.

    If your a pro competing then yeah this gets hard deep Into a prep. But that’s not most of us
  • IsETHome
    IsETHome Posts: 386 Member
    edited October 2019
    Start with my numbers each day, then if I know I'm going to go out, eat less in the first part of the day - if someone wants to go do something impromptu, I will say - oh I've only got 300 cals left for the day - if they are hungry for a lot, count me out.
  • geraldaltman
    geraldaltman Posts: 1,739 Member
    edited October 2019
    People only have the right to know you are counting if you choose to share it with them; be straightforward but polite about your choice. In the situations where you are unable to accurately track, just take conservative portions and "guess"timate. Don't deny yourself pleasure and enjoyment. If you are secure knowing you you'll quickly get back on track after the event or trip, you should be fine!
  • manowarrule2003
    manowarrule2003 Posts: 118 Member
    Ah its once a week man. Doing something right 90 percent of the time is better than doing nothing 100 percent of the time. Just go out and enjoy. As for telling people... I dont. I will only admitt to lifting weights and eating a certain way when its plainly obvious and someone mentions it. Praying for that day 😂
  • Hollis100
    Hollis100 Posts: 1,408 Member
    dpr73 wrote: »
    So after several failed attempts I have learned that the main reason I don’t successfully bulk is because when I break my counting routine I end up spinning my wheels and quitting (basically assuming I undereat when I go out because it is so easy to overeat instead when not tracking). I am determined this time to succeed on a bulk which means limiting the days I go out to eat to once a week. However, I still want to hang with friends obviously, who all seem to make consuming calories the only way to really hang out (drinking alcohol or eating meals out). How do you explain to people you are following a macro tracking program to fulfill your goals?

    There's no right general answer for everybody, only what works for you.

    It sounds like you want to limit what you eat and drink because of your fitness goals. I run into this situation with social eating at work -- some people get easily offended or assume I'm criticizing the group because I turn down the donuts and cake.

    Just blow all that off and find your self-confidence. Be low key and friendly and don't talk about it much. I would just say, "Nah, I'm eating healthier, I have some fitness goals." Then change the topic to something else. And also, you might eat something before you go out so you aren't starving. If you're low key and friendly and keep saying no thanks, people get over it.

  • anubis609
    anubis609 Posts: 3,966 Member
    One way to mentally adapt to social gatherings is if you know ahead of time that you'll be partaking in alcohol and food, is to allow the extra calories for that day. Not that you need to go into a deficit days prior or after, especially if you're in a bulk, but you do need to accept that there will be some fat gain in any bulk, that's just the small consequence of a surplus. But obviously dirty bulking spins your wheels if you're not careful with food choices.

    I usually follow a leangains approach to drinking. You may not need to even drink that much since you'll likely be wasted pretty quickly, unless you drink for sport.

    https://leangains.com/the-truth-about-alcohol-fat-loss-and-muscle-growth/
  • neilravenscroft
    neilravenscroft Posts: 1 Member
    The average person is not going to understand about Macro Nutrients Carbs, Proteins and Fats. So I avoid telling people I track on MFP. The only people that know is my PT and friends that train as they understand. My friends and family know I eat healthily and that’s it.
  • mmapags
    mmapags Posts: 8,934 Member
    I don't say anything to anyone. They don't really care and I'm not interested in unsolicited advice. I just do my thing for my reasons.