Serial Starter feeling hopeless and sick of starting again

jennifercooney9747
jennifercooney9747 Posts: 6 Member
edited December 23 in Motivation and Support
Hi everyone.

I feel like a monumental failure. I have been on MFP for 6 ish years now, having reached my goal weight (and then gone way under for a while) only to have a baby and be fat again.

My stats - I'm 5'1" and 142. My ultimate goal is 110, which means I have 32 pounds to lose. I am actually only 10 lbs lighter right now than I was at 9 months pregnant, having gained weight after giving birth! I have a habit of tracking my calories for a few days, missing a day, and then feeling like a failure so I will stop tracking completely. This usually leads to me gaining a few pounds.

My plan is to hit the gym 3-4 times a week and to calorie count so that I can hit my goal and fit into my old clothes (which fit me when I used to weigh 110).

Replies

  • rumbaimom
    rumbaimom Posts: 46 Member
    You’re not a failure! You can do this! Lots of people gain weight back and haven’t brought a tiny human into the world. Love yourself like I know you love your baby. Add me as a friend and we can cheer each other on! ❤️
  • RelCanonical
    RelCanonical Posts: 3,882 Member
    We have similar stats (I'm also 5'1'' with a goal weight of 110). I'm about 133 right now. I also had a failure where I reached goal and then gained it back (I lost/gained about 60 pounds).

    I wrote a post on what I learned. Lots of mental health lessons learned. https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10759145/for-those-who-have-lost-and-gained-and-are-losing-again-what-ive-learned/p1

    In short, though, I think the best way to look at any sort of "failure" as just practice. We can be very hard on ourselves and I tend to self-sabotage under pressure, so I had to find ways to reduce pressure, which actually made me perform more consistently.
  • VRKF71
    VRKF71 Posts: 4 Member
    Giving up would be failure. You’re not failing. You’re perfecting your plan. You’re learning what works best for you.
  • Ellevated
    Ellevated Posts: 192 Member
    You can do this! The first step is awareness. You already know some of the habits you need to change so that's a good start. Sending you a friend request as I'm very active on MFP.
  • amusedmonkey
    amusedmonkey Posts: 10,330 Member
    You have identified the problem, so that's a great first step. You have one of two choices (or both):
    1. Make it your mission to track every day. Do things that would help that happen, like roughly pre-planning food on your tracker as soon as you wake up. If you change your mind about a food, change it on the tracker as soon as the thought occurs to you. Then the bulk of the work is done, and all you have to do is edit your entries which is easier than logging everything from scratch when you would rather just eat.
    2. Work on the mentality that not tracking for a day = failure. Not tracking for a day = not tracking for a day and nothing more. One day makes little difference to your progress. Weight control is defined by what you do over a period of time, so focus on being consistent most of the time rather than what you do in a single day.
  • DonnaL1959
    DonnaL1959 Posts: 27 Member
    edited October 2019
    I am 60 years old now and my goal weight is 135 pounds at 5' 1"! I spent most of my adult life at 120 - 130 pounds, but since I have a large bone structure and some muscle, I was always happy with this weight. Now, at 60 years old, at over 170 pounds (mostly gained after menopause, but gradually each decade too), losing a pound is really hard. I am going for inches (especially around my waist) coming off more than anything. I don't mean to undermine how you feel in the body you're in right now, but it's possible that you may look back on how you look right now and say, "Boy, I looked great!" (I know that I do when I see old photos). Maybe work on toning up and getting slightly bigger muscles, and you will look & feel so much smaller/healthier at the same weight you are now. It is harder to lose weight with every decade in my experience. Not impossible, but harder. It's never too late to add muscle and toning though. I have started more times than I care to mention, so I know what this feels like. I just started Keto this week, because the only thing that ever worked for me after my 3 babies within 5 years was cutting carbs. You can see women at 130 pounds of soft tissue vs. the same person toned and more muscular - but at the same weight! There are lots of examples on Pinterest.


    Your plan at the gym sounds great. When I slip up now, I say, 'That happened and now I'm moving on. I can do this!'
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