I’ve been at this for years. I’ve tried to lose weight so many times, feeling defeated every day
fragileelegance
Posts: 102 Member
It’s been a cycle for as long as I can remember. I get so close to my goal weight then gain it all back again. I know what I need to do but I always seem to stray from my meal plan and I honestly just feel hungry all the time, no matter how much water or protein I eat. I’ve started over so many times it just doesn’t seem worth it anymore. I also just had my first baby in May so I have an extra 20 pounds on top of the 50 I already need to lose.
I’m stuck and just don’t know what to do anymore
I’m stuck and just don’t know what to do anymore
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Replies
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Maybe talk to a therapist?
You have to figure out why you keep quitting. Without the why, the cycle continues.
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Don't give up! It happens to me sometimes as well, I have a good routine and I am so close to my desired goal but something happens and I start all over again. The point is never give up, even maintaining the weight off is a lot of work. Feel free to add me, we can always encourage each other! Let's go day by day2
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When your will power is lacking, you need to discover your WHY power.
I’ve been in exactly the same position as you, and only in the last week have I pulled finger. This whole year I’d start the week planning what I’d eat how I’d workout etc and then just not do it.
Recently, I locked myself away for two hours and asked my some questions:
1) Why do you want to lose weight?
And list them all, no matter how vain or trivial they may seem.
2) What’s stopping you?
And for me it was a few things. Despite all my planning I was still setting myself up to fail. I was planning meals I knew I wouldn’t really enjoy, I wasn’t leaving my alarm in another room to force me to get up, I wasn’t planning workouts that would actually be fun (I’m the type who gets bored of routine very quickly) but most of all, I was setting the bar sooooo high that the tiniest bit of failure stopped me from trying to do any better.
Be gentle with yourself and set very simple short term goals. Maybe this week can just be to eat three meals you plan in advance and find one new exercise you’d like to try just once this week. When you achieve smaller goals your confidence builds. Then start adding to them.
If you make this a sentence everything within you will rebel. Our brains are designed to keep stuffing our faces in case we run out of food and they certainly don’t like changes that don’t come from a place of determination. So plan meals you’d actually enjoy. Don’t try to follow any particular diet, just plan your calories and look for meals that bring you joy. It’s actually really fun tweaking your favs to be more healthy. Like black bean brownies sound gross, but they’re super fudgy and taste amazing! But are low calorie and full of fibre!!
I’ve also found checking in with myself each day helps. It’s too easy to forget to do things but if you set an alarm or find lost ten minutes to reflect on your progress, it often resparks your motivation. Motivation is like a shower, you need it everyday! So read over your why’s and make it fun. Everything you need to reach your goals, you already have. And try not get so caught up in losing weight that ignore the fact that you brought a baby into this world! That’s incredible!! Celebrate that. Know and honourtour strength and everyday channel it into achieving your goals.
Here anytime if you need to chat xx
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I felt the very same way... I was on here for years.. losing and regaining the same 15 pounds... counting every chip and piece of bread and glass of wine.. it just never worked for me. During all that I lost my will power.. I was so tired of the same old yo yo routine.
What worked for me was finding the right eating plan. You've got to find a way to eat where you still enjoy your life. You have to find exercise you can always do without forcing yourself to get it done. Those are the keys. For me.. I don't count calories any more that wore me out and I felt like I lived in deprivation. That's just me.
I did lose all my weight. 40 pounds and I've been maintaining for almost two years.. I do regain 5 to 8 pounds sometimes ..but I always get it right off..and I'm working on being better about that. It is all a journey.
Keep working at it and find your path.2 -
elisa123gal wrote: »I felt the very same way... I was on here for years.. losing and regaining the same 15 pounds... counting every chip and piece of bread and glass of wine.. it just never worked for me. During all that I lost my will power.. I was so tired of the same old yo yo routine.
What worked for me was finding the right eating plan. You've got to find a way to eat where you still enjoy your life. You have to find exercise you can always do without forcing yourself to get it done. Those are the keys. For me.. I don't count calories any more that wore me out and I felt like I lived in deprivation. That's just me.
I did lose all my weight. 40 pounds and I've been maintaining for almost two years.. I do regain 5 to 8 pounds sometimes ..but I always get it right off..and I'm working on being better about that. It is all a journey.
Keep working at it and find your path.
Thank you so much. I feel like I am eating foods I like, it just seems like shortly after I eat, I’m hungry again. It’s frustrating never feeling satisfied and feeling like I’m fixating on food the whole day. I might stop calorie counting too just because I’ve been doing it for SO long. Do you (or does anyone else) have any food/meals that keep you full...or any tips on not overeating in general?
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fragileelegance wrote: »Thank you so much. I feel like I am eating foods I like, it just seems like shortly after I eat, I’m hungry again. It’s frustrating never feeling satisfied and feeling like I’m fixating on food the whole day. I might stop calorie counting too just because I’ve been doing it for SO long. Do you (or does anyone else) have any food/meals that keep you full...or any tips on not overeating in general?
I wonder if your calorie goal is too low? I went up and down for many years and each time I’d do well, but then give up because it was too restrictive. I was always aiming for 1200 calories.
A couple of years ago I realized I couldn’t maintain a 1200 cal diet so I re-evaluated my goals on MFP to lose weight more slowly and in a more sustainable manner. Over time I’ve lost over 30lbs and I’m able to maintain it without feeling deprived.
Best of luck to you!3 -
I believe when you focus too much on the end goal (a target weight) and you start to think about how long it takes to get there, it all feels extremely overwhelming. Couple that with the fact that we all gain weight for different reasons, some is related to true emotional eating, binge eating, other various disordered eating, and some is primarily lifestyle based (eating the wrong foods, not managing portions, etc.). I am down 72 lbs in the last year. The first 8 lbs I lost by simply reducing my portions, I did it by just eating in a smaller plate. Not a salad plate or something extreme but we have 10" and 8" plates, I started eating off the 8" plates. I didn't exercise or cut anything out, and I lost 8 lbs in one month. Then I decided I needed to get more active, I found an activity I truly enjoyed and an encouraging community around it and set a goal of 30 minutes 3x a week. I lost another 8 lbs with that. But I was still not feeling my best and battling cravings, so I started counting macros (which is when I started back with MFP again) and have been losing the bulk of my weight doing that.
In other words, I tried to make small incremental changes and didn't think or focus on the fact that I needed to lose 'X' lbs. To this day, I have no idea what my goal weight is. I'm just focusing on my lifestyle and will let my body settle where it is. I don't feel deprived, I rarely feel hungry (by design) and every 0.1 lbs that comes off is a win. So my advice is to start incrementally, eliminate the focus on weight, and figure out what is the core of why your eating has led to weight gain. For me, it had nothing to do with emotional eating and everything to do with the fact that I just had very unrealistic expectations about portion sizes. Plain and simple!
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I can relate to a lot of this.
One critical step was not eating while doing anything else... Especially working/tv/reading/driving etc. It was really hard, but I had to focus on when I was actually full and when I was actually still hungry. I was surprised at both. I also realized I was eating food that I didn't actually like very much.
It also helped me be a little kinder to myself. Sometimes we aren't nice to ourselves, and stopping and paying attention to our hunger can help feeling down.1 -
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Thank you so much. I feel like I am eating foods I like, it just seems like shortly after I eat, I’m hungry again. It’s frustrating never feeling satisfied and feeling like I’m fixating on food the whole day. I might stop calorie counting too just because I’ve been doing it for SO long. Do you (or does anyone else) have any food/meals that keep you full...or any tips on not overeating in general?
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I found that certain foods left me feeling hungry. I didn't know it was certain foods until I started paying attention.. like chicken noodle soup.. it actually puts me into an eating craze. It sounds trite to say keep a food journal..but it would help.. just notice what you're eating that you like and keeps you from feeling hungry.. and nix the foods that you notice leave you craving more.1 -
elisa123gal wrote: »
Thank you so much. I feel like I am eating foods I like, it just seems like shortly after I eat, I’m hungry again. It’s frustrating never feeling satisfied and feeling like I’m fixating on food the whole day. I might stop calorie counting too just because I’ve been doing it for SO long. Do you (or does anyone else) have any food/meals that keep you full...or any tips on not overeating in general?
I found that certain foods left me feeling hungry. I didn't know it was certain foods until I started paying attention.. like chicken noodle soup.. it actually puts me into an eating craze. It sounds trite to say keep a food journal..but it would help.. just notice what you're eating that you like and keeps you from feeling hungry.. and nix the foods that you notice leave you craving more.
Now that you say that, I wonder if my lunches are making me so hungry. I usually have a healthy choice, mainly bc I don’t have the time to meal prep or fix something healthier with a baby. I know frozen meals are high in sodium and maybe the sodium contributes to feeling like I’m starving but right now it’s kind of the best option for me. Dinners are usually better though...a lean meat and vegetable....but I’m still hungry after that most times too 😔
I can work out all day but I just need to get my food under control, it’s been so difficult. I wish my stomach was smaller. My mom got a 5 piece nugget meal with a side and biscuit the other day and said she was full...? I could never be satisfied with that or is it all in my head?! 😣
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