Dating

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Lendzoe
Lendzoe Posts: 3 Member
in Chit-Chat
How do you guys approach people you're romantically interested in? I'm having the hardest time meeting men in person. I've given up on the apps too.

I feel like the men I'm attracted to are out of my league :#, and it seems somewhat obvious that they wouldn't be into me considering all the other girls who give them attention.

I used to have a tinder, and I saw the guy in my class that I'm physically attracted to, but I've never spoken to him. He's literally so quiet and keeps to himself all the time. Well, he never matches me on the app, which I guess means he isn't interested? I've deleted the app and joined it several times, so he's had multiple opportunities to do so.

I think he knows I'm attracted to him, because I used to look at him a lot...

Like, I'm so sure that he's going to say "no," but there is something in my head that makes me want to try anyway. But, according to what he's looking for on Tinder (in his bio), I am absolutely NOT his type. He says he's into girls like Jennifer Lawrence, which is definitely not me.

But more generally, any advice for meeting people to date besides the app? How did you meet your SO, and did you make the first move or did they? Did you feel they wouldn't be into you at first?

Thanks, guys!!!

Replies

  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,182 Member
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    How old are you?
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,182 Member
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    What sort of career prospects do you expect to have upon completion of your grad school?
    When my daughter, a nurse, was single and working around doctors, she discovered that most of them had married people they met in grad school.

    Those apps are crap. Ask him out.
  • Lendzoe
    Lendzoe Posts: 3 Member
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    We're currently in law school, so I assume we'll both be attorneys in the future. Unless he chooses to go a different route.

    Yes! I keep hearing stories about people meeting in grad school, but nothing is happening for me at the moment.

    I think I fear asking him out, especially because he hasn't shown any interest in me via the apps, which I feel would be easy if he were interested... if that makes any sense at all. My head is telling me "if he didn't want to talk to you on the app, what makes you think he'll want to talk to you in real life?"

    I've never really gotten how to deal with rejection and embarrassment like that, which explains why I've been a single recluse for the past 27 years.

    I feel even less confident with this recent weight gain of 30 pounds during my first year of law school.
  • mbaker566
    mbaker566 Posts: 11,233 Member
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    atm, i'm using the apps so i approach them via message
    in person, i engage them in friendly banter. then, hang out, possibly in a group situation. then, if i still like the target, i am direct because i'm a direct sort of person
    rejection hurts but w/e gotta move forward
  • nooshi713
    nooshi713 Posts: 4,877 Member
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    Life is too short to waste pining away for a man who doesn’t show you interest. If you think a man is shy, make small talk or ask him to meet for coffee but if he declines or doesn’t reciprocate your interest, move on.

    You have to first be happy, and know that you deserve someone who will treat you amazing. Don’t feel a man is out of your league. We won’t be everyone’s type and that’s ok, but don’t feel you’re not good enough.

    I didn’t meet anyone in grad school. My grad school was mostly women and a very small program. My last ex was someone I knew through high school. That relationship was horrible.

    I recently met a man on a dating app and things are going great. ❤️
  • ghudson92
    ghudson92 Posts: 2,061 Member
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    I agree with the above comments suggesting you just bite the bullet and approach this guy. He might like you, he might not, but at least you gave it a go.
    It is in the moments of vulnerability that opportunity awaits :smile:

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