Barb's New Outlook

8/30/11

I recently watched Julie & Julia, the movie about a woman who blogs her way through Julia Childs' cookbook. Got me thinking that I might do well to do some blogging myself; mostly about my weight loss and exercise journey. So I've decided to use this forum to do it. Whether or not people read it makes me no nevermind; as long as I can get my ideas and feelings out in a productive manner. And if someone decides to comment, all the better. I know no one here on this forum and that's fine.

I stared my journey as a young person. I've been heavy all my life, well, at least since I hit puberty. I was always active, well in the sense that I played sports and was always doing something. I also liked to eat and was a child of the "eat everything on your plate" mentality. Not that I'm blaming anyone for my being fat, its just the way it was. My brother is not fat by any means and he grew up the same. I joined my first gym at 18. Did pretty well but this and that happened. My boss became a member, I got sick for a week, and then I guess I lost interest. I did get better from my cold but my boss never left and I could NOT do my thing while he was there. :-)

Fast forward 20 years and 2000 miles away, and I'm a very fat person, heaviest I've ever been, and living in Florida. I have a boyfriend of 3+ years and he is also heavy. He's also at his heaviest he's ever been. We both decided to really get serious. We both started off with a bang the first of this year (2011). I joined this forum and even with just eating what I normally would, and logging all of that into my food diary, I lost 3 lbs in the first 2 week span! I was soooo happy. I then really started doing good things. I signed up for certain emails, Eat This Not That was a big eye opener, and then logged on to other health sites etc. I really learned about differnt things and was almost inspired to go back to school to learn about nutrition! But the reason I didn't, it was still school! :-)

So, by the end of May I had lost just shy of 30 pounds. Not that anyone could tell. I kept up and kept up but occasionally I would cheat, well, quite a bit. I pretty much stayed at the same weight. There was always some excuse; this party, this picnic, etc. etc. I was lucky that I didn't GAIN, but maintained. I would do well in the morning and afternoon, but it was the night time that I would stray. Especially if I went to the grocery store hungry. "oh one time for a treat wont hurt". Then I'd get the Terragon chicken salad at Publix, OMG, soooo goood, and slather it on a bakery hoagie bun. But then there were 3 other buns there to eat up. Hmmm, save it for later. Then their Moose Tracks Frozen Yogurt was on sale. Well, that is sooooo gooood too. You can see this pattern here. Again, maintained. Thank God!

So now its what, end of August and I'm just over the 30 lb mark. My caloric intake is around 1500 per day, if I don't cheat. I do always log in what I eat. I had a long weekend and an overnight this past weekend and ordered pizza from Dominos. I know what you're thinking, pizza from Dominos. BAD! But I ordered the special, 2 mediums, with ham and black olives. Yum. Would have fit right into my diary planning if I'd have eaten the recommended serving. But nooooo, I was still hungry and I ate the whole thing! That in itself wasn't that bad. I think I clocked it in at 1000 calories, give or take a hundred or so. Not bad for a whole medium pie. Some burgers you get are well over that, and doesn't include the fries. So for an indulgence, the pizza wasn't so horrible. Its gone now and I can get back to normal.

Another issue I've had lately is money. Sorry, but healthy food can be pricey. Not too often you find coupons for raw carrots! I do my best and have even joined Couponmom.com. Great place for money saving tips and coupons. I'd suggest anyone go and follow her instructions. I'm working on it myself. Anyway, back in April I bought a new vehicle, new for me anyway. That little purchase set me back an additional $250 a month. Didn't seem like too big of a deal at the time but I've been playing catch up ever since. It gets depressing when you can't do what you did before. Then there's the boyfriend who has a terrible job and has to be subsidized by me. Either that or we never see each other. He is now off his diet as he can't afford it and I think just lost interest. He lost a lot of weight but now has put about half of that on again. Hurts to see that but I can't make him do anything. He has to want it for himself. But, back to the money. When I shop, getting that $3 chicken salad seems like a little treat for me and I take it. As long as its gone the next day, it wont hurt me again. LOL

So, this week started with the end of the pizza order, last night. Yesterday I ate my oatmeal for breakfast with powered creamer, Truvia (2 packs) and cinnamon. Lunch was drained canned tuna with a teaspoon of each, dijon mustard, olive oil, and Kraft low calorie herbed mayo, served on a 100 calorie english muffin, eaten open faced style, and vegetables. Whatever I could find. I'm trying to eat what I have before buying more. Then of course the pizza for dinner. But before I at the pizza I went out to my local club, where I indulged in several shots of tequila, along with my diet coke. This is my new drink of choice. I used to drink jagermeisters on the rocks with a side of diet coke. Rot gut big time. I had to quit that. I haven't had a drop of jager since the end of June. I'm quite happy about that too. I drink the tequila now and beer occasionally, but not to the extent I used to. Ok, so back to the dinner. I ate the pizza at an alarming rate as I was HUNGRY. After drinking tequila and having not eaten since 1:30pm, needless to say, didn't fill me up fast enough. So I took a flatout and spread it with cheese, laughing cow blue cheese, and sprinkled it with 2% mozzerella, topped it with another flatout and toasted it. Well, buy then I was fuller, but I made this and I had to eat it. Otherwise I would have had to throw it out. I couldn't do that. Waste not want not. I was stuffed!!! But, only went over my limit by 400 calories. Not too bad.

So, today I prepared well. Took a pre-cooked frozen chicken breast out of the freezer to thaw. I'll eat that either alone or with BBQ sauce mixed with mustard, and a side of frozen veggies. There are many brands of frozen veggies out there that go on sale often. My bags say 4 servings but I eat the whole thing. Sorry 1/2 cup is not enough. This way I get my allotment of veggies all at once. If my calorie diary allows, I'll have a popcorn (Jolly Time 100 calorie bag) or a Dole Fruit bar; strawberry. YUM! My favorites are Skinny Cow ice cream sandwiches. Quite pricey, look for coupons or sales if you can on these. I had 2 (with 2 bars) of Nature Valley Granola bars. Its under 400 calories and keeps me full. Not ideal but I didn't feel like making oatmeal today. I've got to get my ingredient list together and try the Hungry Girl recipes for eggs in a mug. Sounds awesome! Maybe tonight when I go shopping. My lunch today was like yesterday, tuna on english muffins but today with a bag of veggies. Works, filled me up.

Tonight is safe for me. Tuesdays have not been my night to go out in a long while. Normally Monday's or Wednesdays are it. I'd really like to hit the gym tomorrow morning. I've been planning and planning to do this since April when it opened. I think the novelty wore off now and should be safe to go. My biggest hurdle is getting up early enough in the morning to do it. I find some reason to stay up late and then wont get up at 6am to get ready. I'm hoping tonight is the night. I have my equipment and new MP3 player all ready to go. Just have to get my butt up to do it. Will I make it? Hmmm, we'll see about that. And, will I stick to what I planned to eat for dinner. Should be a fun night. Hot Guy movie night. Have 2 Josh Duhamel movies on hand. Hunk du jour for me. Hee hee. Oh well, a girl can dream right?

So that's pretty much me in a nut shell. I hope to keep adding on to this to prove or disprove what I am planning or not planning. The thing I've learned most about staying on the plan is to plan! You must have a plan in mind and have your meals planned and prepare heavily for everything. I'm not a planner so this has been very difficult for me. I'm a grab and go person. If I could get a schedule and stick to it, I may be able to beat this! Wish me luck!