Facing the Music of Self-Neglect

SoulThriver88
SoulThriver88 Posts: 27 Member
edited December 24 in Introduce Yourself
Hallo

I am beginning to understand the reasons behind my weight gain.

Reason #1: worked for a few toxic and abusive narcissistic employers before deciding to do my own thing. Narcissistic abuse really eats at your self-esteem and self-worth... in an attempt for you to slowly dissappear and erode... was it comfort eating...a need to feed the body where the soul was actually hungry as a temporary method to pacify the self? Or eating and not caring, because you are made to feel bad about yourself even if you are incredibly thin, beautiful and CAPABLE?! I realized that I slowly disappeared from myself for a while hiding my Spirit behind my "big body" if that makes sense , and I am now trying to re-emerge with new found self-worth.

Reason #2: abusive relationships - mainly getting sick of being sexually objectified, and I took it out on my body in an attempt to make me less attractive so I won't be in a situation like that again. Now I realized that trying to protect myself in that way, I was just making myself more physically unhealthy.

Reason #3: got diagnosed with a life threatening health scare, and thought I was going to die... and if I have little time, I might as well eat and enjoy my life right?!...why all the dieting for what? But at least the health scare got resolved...then I realized how I neglected my body prior to all that.

I am now determined to lose not only weight but also emotional baggage that caused this heaviness of not only body but Spirit. Why I enjoy running so much, because it is as if you get to leave behind things that try and hold you back & down.

Replies

  • ohmscheeks
    ohmscheeks Posts: 840 Member
    Congrats on getting to the root causes. I hope you are able to get pro help for the mental aspects. You can do this!
  • awakens3lf
    awakens3lf Posts: 2 Member
    Hi! I am also new to the community. The self-neglect is no joke, and working on feeling worthy of self-love and care is not something I thought I would ever need to do. But when I look at my body now, I realize that lack of self-love got me here, and I cant allow that to continue just because I don't like what I look like. In truth, I am not motivated so much by how I look as what I want to feel like being athletic again. I love that ease of movement and ability to push myself through pain and exhaustion. I hope we can allow this journey to show us how strong we can be, to display again, the strength of overcoming a major challenge. If you did that emotionally dealing with a narcissist, imagine what you are capable of doing for your physical well-being. I'll be right there with you, trying to find that beautiful person that gave too much of themselves to someone who didn't deserve it. Crack on. :)
  • SoulThriver88
    SoulThriver88 Posts: 27 Member
    ohmscheeks wrote: »
    Congrats on getting to the root causes. I hope you are able to get pro help for the mental aspects. You can do this!

    Let's get one thing straight it is not a mental problem but a soul problem.

    It is funny how when people bring up dealing with real issues in life that suddenly it is compared to being crazy...and someone needs professional help.

    Calling people crazy for struggling with issues will not motivate them to heal or get out of any rut, instead it can aggravate whatever condition they find themselves in.

    If you judge other people like that, then I do not know how harshly you must judge yourself - and I do not see how it can help you on your journey either!








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