Depression after large weight loss
WandRsmom
Posts: 253 Member
It's hard to write this but I have to reach out to ppl who might have been there before or have advice.
I am down about 100 lbs from my heaviest. I have lost it over a couple of yrs , lifting heavy and counting Cal's. It's hasn't been a super fast Loss.
Over the last few months I have been increasingly hard on my appearance. I can hear myself doing it but I just can't seem to stop. I was never like this when heavier.
I feel almost like I want to look "perfect" now that I have lost the weight but I know logically no one is perfect. It's been hard trying to get out of my own head. I try to embrace all I have done but can't seem to shake negative thought.
I have started seeing a therapist. I know that was a good decision but I was curious if anyone else has experienced this?
I am down about 100 lbs from my heaviest. I have lost it over a couple of yrs , lifting heavy and counting Cal's. It's hasn't been a super fast Loss.
Over the last few months I have been increasingly hard on my appearance. I can hear myself doing it but I just can't seem to stop. I was never like this when heavier.
I feel almost like I want to look "perfect" now that I have lost the weight but I know logically no one is perfect. It's been hard trying to get out of my own head. I try to embrace all I have done but can't seem to shake negative thought.
I have started seeing a therapist. I know that was a good decision but I was curious if anyone else has experienced this?
17
Replies
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there's something called imposter syndrome. i've dealt with it too. i've felt this way as well - even though i only lost twenty pounds. be kind to yourself Lady....
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Congrats on your fabulous loss! I didn’t personally experience this after losing 150 but I’m glad you’re seeking support.3
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I am glad that you're seeing a therapist. Some people do experience body dysmorphia after weight loss, so you are not alone in this. I hope the therapist is able to help.3
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Yes, it can be really unsettling to lose a large amount of weight.
Sending support! You're not alone and I am proud of you for going to therapy.3 -
If you mean that you're expecting yourself to look better after all the time and energy you put into getting in shape then I hear you! I didn't really think of anything but being healthier when I started losing my weight and working out. It was nearer to goal that I started wondering why I wasn't looking better. I'm 100lbs down and didn't have saggy skin until the last 15lbs. I figured at least it was all hidden under clothes when one day I realized I had saggy inner elbows! Not something others would notice but I do. I'm doing my best to accept who I am now but it's not always easy.4
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yes, even us dudes experience this! I'm down 90 and am very critical of myself in the mirror. The problem with me is, I was very fit and muscular before gaining over 100 lbs. The other problem is, I was in my 30's then and now 55. I understand there is only so much I can do with an aging body, but my mind keeps judging and I get pissed off sometimes because I gained the weight in the first place. It's a process, and I will one day hopefully accept and appreciate what I have and worked hard for. I think the main thing I need to remind myself of, is why I lost this weight in the first place....MY HEALTH not vanity.8
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Let's also not forget. You just had a massive, well, "trauma" to your body. Now, I am not one of those... "hippy" types, but what I am finding is you have to let your hormones catch up. Thyroid, sex hormones, hunger hormones, ect... all could be playing into this as well.6
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I don’t think I would have closed the deal on my 100 lb loss without therapy. For years I was drugging myself with eating and drinking.
But when I stopped that process the issues remained. It was like I had covered them over with fat. As I lost weight they were exposed again.7 -
you've nearly lost a person.
therapy will help you find this new person you've discovered.3 -
I think I can understand how you feel. For me, it came about because I had been so heavily focused on weight loss that when I got to the "end", there was nothing. I started to self-sabotage because I felt like I had nothing to aim for anymore and that I didn't deserve what I had because of that. I'm in therapy as well (for a lot of things, lol) and although it took a while for me to get over the "hump" of anxiety and self-esteem issues (a couple years of regular appointments), therapy was very much worth the money and time.6
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Think it has to do with how obsessed you become during journey. For me, originally set goal of 195 pounds, (8-13-13 weighed 295+, 9-2014 got down to 162.4 pounds) but became about seeing how lean I could get (wanted abs). Anyways i certainly got the blues (8 months or so in and didnt feel normal until few months into bulk. (Concentration changed to getting stronger)3
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You've worked hard and have done an amazing thing that takes a lot of discipline. You should be proud of yourself for this noted accomplishment of losing 100 pounds. Allow yourself to realize that and enjoy an infusion into your self esteem. Not just anyone can do what you just accomplished.
I think we all can kid ourselves that losing weight or getting to our goal will give us a perfect body..and it doesn't. It gives us our health... flexibility..energy..and in most cases almost everyone does look way better.
Maybe you can start by complimenting yourself.5 -
The hardest I've ever been on myself about my body was when I was at my all-time heaviest (130+ heavier than now) and my all-time lowest. I am maintaining about 8-10 lb above my all-time low and feel pretty happy with my body but for some reason in 2015 when I'd got to my lowest weight, I was MUCH more critical, always picking at my flaws and comparing and just a real nightmare to myself. I didn't feel positive about my accomplishment. I had low libido and lower than normal energy. It amazes me what a change came from going back up just a little bit weight wise. Obviously that isn't the solution for everyone but for me it seemed to be a shift that helped. I don't really know how or why but I do think some of it for me was hormonal. Time may have helped just as much as gaining back 10 lb, I don't know.
I never really thought losing the weight was going to make everything in my life better. I do think some people do believe this. For me it was more like I thought the difference from being size 14 down to size 10, for example, would only be better when achieving size 8. But there came a point that being smaller & thinner didn't please me and I felt MUCH MORE critical about my figure "flaws". I think everyone has to find their happy point, whether psychologically, physically, or both.6 -
I went through something like this. At my peak I was about 400 pounds and was able to get down to under 220. For me the drive was always having some goal related to losing weight: get to a number on the scale, get my blood sugar under control, look a certain way, fit into a large shirt and not the stuff from the big guy store etc etc all while hating what I saw in the mirror even when I was almost 50% of weight gone. The thing is the day came when all those mountains had been conquered and the weight wasn't a crutch any more and the same negative mind person was in the mirror judging me. It's when I found a way to accept the person in the mirror and love myself that life really improved. Yoga helped me a lot with shifting my mindset so could be something to look into.
My profile pic is an image of me hiking in Zion National Park. That was when it truly hit me of what I had done and what I now could do. I was no longer the fat guy that just looked at other people's trips wishing one day I could do something like that. Now, I could do that stuff myself. Hang in there. Just like the weight took time to come off the brain takes time to catch up. Better days are ahead.7 -
I lost over 100lbs a few years ago. I wouldn't really say that I was depressed after that, but it certainly didn't feel as good as I expected. I was happy with my accomplishment, but I didn't really feel much different physically. I always heard people talk about how great they felt after losing weight, but that never really happened for me. I also found myself missing my old way of eating. I didn't enjoy being that big, but I certainly enjoyed eating what I wanted without being concerned about how many calories it had or worrying about gaining weight. Overall, I'm glad I lost weight and became more active, but it didn't make me any happier.
I also agree with the other posters about being obsessed with the journey and having a goal, and then suddenly it's gone. Trying to maintain isn't very exciting.3 -
im down 90 and struggle with depression. I dealt with feeling and trouble by eating. Once i took that away a lot of things come to the surface.1
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