Morbidly Obese Friend

Sheeshy
Sheeshy Posts: 133
edited October 2 in Motivation and Support
So, I know I'm overweight, actually technically obese, but I'm here and I'm working on it.
I have a wonderful friend that I've known most of my life who is quite large. She's diabetic now. She's at her largest, and she's always been big. She never reveals her weight, but I'm guessing at least 400. I love her, but I'm worried about her. I also know that her weight is very upsetting to her. She really wants to change, but she gets frustrated and overwhelmed by the amount she needs to lose and with how long it will take her to lose it. She'll start a program, but get upset that she's working so hard but not seeing results. She's GETTING results, but she's got a long way to go. I always try to encourage her to stick with it, but she always quits. I understand, I've quit several times myself.
So that's the problem. Any suggestions on how to help her?

Replies

  • em1976
    em1976 Posts: 119 Member
    Perhaps get her to join mfp?Get her comfortable and accepting that shes not alone,it is hard work and that you are deeply worried about her.Plenty of fantastic people on here going through the same thing so perhaps if she can get to know them via this site it may help her adapt to a new lifestyle.
  • sugarbone
    sugarbone Posts: 454 Member
    She needs to gradually change her lifestyle so that a routine that causes weight loss does not feel like an unending, gruelling diet. Then she can get skinnier by... living. You might kick her into gear by mentioning how important she is to you, and as such, her health?
  • morganadk2_deleted
    morganadk2_deleted Posts: 1,696 Member
    i think all you can do is be there for her if she want to do something about her weight. My husaband is morbidly obese ( over 400 lbs), i also have a friend who is obese , they both know it can be done, my daughter lost over 100lbs in a year they saw that ! my daughter said to me why could i not do this before? , I said to her because you where not ready. when you friend is ready she will do it!
  • PowerEqualsStrengthOverTime
    PowerEqualsStrengthOverTime Posts: 55 Member
    I have 244 lbs to lose, and am 17 lbs down, which of course means there's still 227 to go. No kidding that's daunting!! For me, I think it's been about not accepting the life that obesity forces me into anymore. I want to have a more active life, I don't want to not be able to fit into theater seats and have to plan out the seating arrangement in my head before I go somewhere. I want to change careers to a more active career, and I can't do that at over 400 lbs. I guess what I'm saying is my focus has shifted to long-term instead of just should I eat this chocolate or not. It's becoming a lifestyle for me, and not just a set of rules.

    Also, you have to be aware of deep seated emotional issues that may in fact require therapy, where the weight is only a symptom. For myself when I've lost weight before old fears would come up and I would just quit and say it was too hard, when in reality I was afraid. To truly make a lifestyle change you have to be willing to walk into the unknown and know that you'll be ok. For many, that requires the help of a listening ear that can help us map out a path and see what's *actually* holding us back. Very seldom is it just about calories.
  • Sheeshy
    Sheeshy Posts: 133
    Thanks to everyone for the suggestions - I'm going to talk to her. We've talked about supporting each other in the past, but we live so far apart from each other now that it's hard - maybe I can get her to join MFP with me. :)
  • brittanylove917
    brittanylove917 Posts: 1
    Hi there!

    I work at a TV development company in NYC called Crybaby Media. We're always looking for interesting people in unique worlds.

    I came across your website and I'm fascinated by your business. We're hoping to find a group of overweight and obese women with big, fun personalities who are trying to lose weight together and really supportive of each other on their weight loss journey.

    If this sounds like you or someone you know, please let me know. Thanks so much and looking forward to chatting.

    Hope to talk soon!
    Brittany
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