People with good intentions

cjpblue · September 2011

I have had so many people tell me I need to quit dieting or I will blow away. I am still in the overweight category on the BMI chart and my goal is to be 140 (12 more to go). I know I need to get to my goal and I will do it, but I wish people would encourage more instead of telling me I need to stop. I am loving the way I feel!!!

Frankenbarbie01 · September 2011

If you feel good...DO IT!! Keep up the decication!

ShapeUpSidney · September 2011

People probably think they're being complimentary. "Oh my! You should have some ice cream before you disappear on us!"

It's maybe their way of saying you look great.

nll002 · September 2011

I totally agree! Last Christmas I hit my all time low of 152lbs and everyone was telling me I was too small (I'm 5'8"). Realistically, I could still go down to 145 and hit the exact middle of my BMI (and I could still see some areas that could use a little improvement). But all of the negative comments put it in my head that I was fine and I ended up eating more and gained back 26lbs! Now I am working hard to get back to where I was last year. I don't need anyone telling me I'm too thin, or (my personal least favourite) "you're on holidays/vacation". Why can't we just eat healthy and take care of ourselves? I wasn't starving, so if the weight comes off, then maybe it's meant to!

Stampinda · September 2011

I've had people say that to me before, too. Just laugh it off and remind them that you haven't reached the goal you set for yourself yet.

cici1028 · September 2011

I have heard that quite a bit as well. Just don't worry about it. They probably mean it as a compliment. Just do what your doctor and you think is a good plan.

PJFaber · September 2011

I know their intentions must be good. Maybe a little envy speaking?? You know what you want for you. Keep up the great work and just smile at them.

dragonflydi · September 2011

I have run into this as well and I've determined that they were just "used" to seeing me heavy. I was obese for nearly 12 years ... it's what they became accustomed to and this is very new to them.

I am in a very healthy zone right now and under the care of a physician and a trainer. If THEY tell me not to lose more, then I won't ... and right now, my goal is body composition ... replacing body fat for lean body mass. It's looks like I've lost more weight, but I haven't - I've just firmed up.

So long as you are healthy, keep trucking along! You can do it!

russelljclarke · September 2011

Hi, I'm not a huge fan of BMI. It told me I was STILL overweight when my trousers were (literally) dropping off me and people were telling me I was wasting away. Also, my brother-in-law, who's a builder and fit as a butcher's dog, is told by BMI that he's overweight! Absolute rot if you ask me. I'd only ever use it as a very, very rough indicator of your true situation. If you feel good, look good and others (that you trust to tell the truth) are swooning in front of you, maybe that's enough weight lost.

R

flutterqueen04 · September 2011

I went through that too. Once my weight loss was really noticeable I got those comments. I was even in the overweight BMI too!! I think they say it because they are trying to give you permission to stop losing weight - like you are doing it for others. However good intended they may be, they need to realize that you are doing it for YOURSELF and you will stop when you reach your healthy reasonable goal. And sometimes others just don't realize your not "dieting" you are changing the way you live. You aren't just eating healthy or exercising to get to your goal size, but your doing to for the rest of your life to BE HEALTHY!!

lloydmel · September 2011

People are so used to seeing overweight people. In our society, we are all bigger now. The "normal" has become overweight. If you are fit, then you look skinny to people.
Don't let it bother you, in my opinion when people start saying stuff like this, without real evidence that you are unhealthy, then they are just jealous.
If you are healthy and feel good, keep doing what makes you happy.
You can not control how other people react to you or your actions, all you can control is yourself.

Oh, and congrats by the way on losing so much weight that people are FAAAREEEAAAKING out! lol

DopeItUp · September 2011

Aye, I think a lot of it is that the obesity rate is so high. We're conditioned to think that being fat is normal and healthy. Big is beautiful and you're fine just the way you are. That's great and all but it's self-defeating.

Personally, I think comments like that include a bit of jealousy too. I know I have been guilty of it. "Eat a cheeseburger!" to someone that weighs 100lbs less than me was something I'd say typically. I am almost regretful of it now.

ladybug11 · September 2011

I think generally people are trying to compliment you. Unfortunately, it's not very tactful! My mom and dad tell me I need to eat more all the time, or perhaps just a little chicken or fish (I'm vegan), or not to run everyday.

Conversely, they used to be negative in a well-meaning manner. For instance, my mother once told me that my arms were fat, they'd always be fat, and I would just have to accept that sleeveless items should work their way out of my wardrobe! She honestly thought she was helping me. I would have preferred her to encourage me to try some tricep dips in place of chips and dips!

kyle4jem · September 2011

Hi, I'm not a huge fan of BMI. It told me I was STILL overweight when my trousers were (literally) dropping off me and people were telling me I was wasting away. Also, my brother-in-law, who's a builder and fit as a butcher's dog, is told by BMI that he's overweight! Absolute rot if you ask me. I'd only ever use it as a very, very rough indicator of your true situation. If you feel good, look good and others (that you trust to tell the truth) are swooning in front of you, maybe that's enough weight lost.

R

I'm with R on this one too.

BMI is a very vague classification based on height vs weight yet does not take into consideration the size of one's body frame.

I'm a shortarse... but I've never been skinny. Even when I was at my fittest when I was at Uni in my mid-20s I was borderline obese according to my BMI.

That aside, I think while our loved ones appreciate the scarifices we have made to achive our goals, perhaps they worry that we might take things too far and go the other way. Given that most of us fatties have some sort of addictive personality which triggered our comfort eating, it's not unfeasible to believe we could get addicted to dieting.

As long as you're happy and healthy :bigsmile:

alisonwww · September 2011

Wow, you have come so far...who cares what people say. Most of the time, the negative comments come from their own self-loathing, so remember that and just say "thanks"!.

You Rock!!!

cjpblue · September 2011

I appreciate all the comments and thoughts--thank you!! I usually tell people that I am still working towards my goal, they say they they don't know where the last 12 will come from, I say I see myself naked and I know exactly where it can come from! But I have to admit that I thought about stopping 10 pounds ago when the comments started. I felt good, everyone else was giving me permission and I was ready to start maintaining. Then I spoke to my doctor and she said that I deserved better. That if I felt good now that was great, but that I would feel even better if I weighing 20 pounds less and I would be able to prove to myself that I could do anything that I set my mind to do. I am strong, and I can do this. She was right. I want to reach my goal so badly that I can taste it. I am strong and I will make it. The fat me is the one who gave up and took the easy way out. The healthy me continues working on the eliptical even when I am tired and chooses the best things for my body and strives to accomplish my personal goals.

dragonflydi · September 2011

I am strong and I will make it. The fat me is the one who gave up and took the easy way out. The healthy me continues working on the eliptical even when I am tired and chooses the best things for my body and strives to accomplish my personal goals.

This right here is over half the battle and you are clearly on your way to success!

I agree with the others, I do NOT look at BMI at all any more ... it is very inaccurate.

TDGee · September 2011

My Grandma always said "The road to Hell is paved with good intentions." Man! That woman could COOK!

flausa · September 2011

I get that comment "I hope you don't take it too far" quite frequently now, in spite of the fact that I still can point out fat rolls that need to go. Part of it is that people have never known me healthy, as I had been obese my entire adult life. The other part relates to how I dress. I know how to maximize my assets and minimize my flaws, and if an outfit makes me look heavier it is now banned from my wardrobe. Anywho, I decided today that I was going to find a picture of a celebrity to say, that's what I want to look like. I found a picture today of Reese Witherspoon that I think looks fab. http://igossip.com/gossip/Reese_witherspoon_surfing/1851720 You can still see that she has a wee belly and she has fabulous muscular thighs. That's what I want to look like, and I think it's a totally achievable and sustainable goal. I showed the pic to my mummy and toddler negative commenters, and they all responded positively. So maybe try giving people the idea of the healthy goal you have in mind. There will probably still be people who comment negatively because of their own jealous feelings, but it might help allay fears of people who are actually concerned for your health.

BarbieHier · September 2011

I just posted a similar topic the other day! Yikes. Glad to see others have faced this too!

I've lost 59 pounds and still have at least 25 more to go, which will put me right in the middle of my normal weight range for my height...but I got flack about it from a friend, she said I will be waaay too thin if I lose even 20 more. But HER own goal weight is at the light side of the scale for her height! Ugh.

Can't win sometimes.

And also, I think a HUGE part of this issue? Is that most Americans are obese and don't realize it! So we as a society have become more immune to normal HEALTHY weight/sizes and proportions. I 'look' thin right now, at 5'4" and 174, compared to a lot of other people. Problem is, I am still OBESE! It is frustrating to be the lone voice crying out in the wilderness, LOL, but I think our weight loss successes makes others look at themselves more closely and they probably don't want to face their reality, of their weight, because then they would have to do something about it too.

Reminds me of a plaque my cousin had in her kitchen: "Dear Lord, if you can't make me skinny, make all my friends fat!" I think the herd mentality is at play with these kinds of comments...not necessarily done on purpose, but has the same effect.

Congratulations to all of the success stories so far! Let's keep going!!!

koutroulakis · September 2011

Think of it as a compliement...I can't wait to lose the weight and hear people tell me that, right now they are looking at me like I need to put down the cookie : )

People with good intentions

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