The switch to vegetarian while married
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Give the man his meat, you made a choice, you shouldn't make the same choice FOR him.
Wrong.
Allow the man to have his meat... but tell him that you're only cooking one dinner. If he wants something else, he can make it.
Is this your wife posting on your account?
Nope.
Got a problem with that?
yep
How nice for you.
You're suggesting that since one person makes a moral decision the entire family has to go along with it. I cook for my entire family. My wife doesn't like steak, if i make steak I also make some chicken for her. Marriage is about compromise, not forcing people to go along with your moral decisions. We have a vegatarian in the family and always prepare a vegatarian option for her. Your suggesting that everyone should go along with her moral decision because she does the cooking, and with that i disagree.
This is interesting. So do you think a Kosher or Halal wife should just bite the bullet and compromise her beliefs and cook her man whatever he wants?0 -
Give the man his meat, you made a choice, you shouldn't make the same choice FOR him.
Wrong.
Allow the man to have his meat... but tell him that you're only cooking one dinner. If he wants something else, he can make it.
Is this your wife posting on your account?
Nope.
Got a problem with that?
yep
How nice for you.
You're suggesting that since one person makes a moral decision the entire family has to go along with it. I cook for my entire family. My wife doesn't like steak, if i make steak I also make some chicken for her. Marriage is about compromise, not forcing people to go along with your moral decisions. We have a vegatarian in the family and always prepare a vegatarian option for her. Your suggesting that everyone should go along with her moral decision because she does the cooking, and with that i disagree.
This is interesting. So do you think a Kosher or Halal wife should just bite the bullet and compromise her beliefs and cook her man whatever he wants?
This isn't about cooking for a MAN, this is about one persons beliefs effecting everyone else. Which I dont think is right. Also we are talking about SWITCHING to vegatarian, and wanting everyone else to go along with it. Which I dont think should be forced on people.0 -
Give the man his meat, you made a choice, you shouldn't make the same choice FOR him.
Wrong.
Allow the man to have his meat... but tell him that you're only cooking one dinner. If he wants something else, he can make it.
Is this your wife posting on your account?
Nope.
Got a problem with that?
yep
How nice for you.
You're suggesting that since one person makes a moral decision the entire family has to go along with it. I cook for my entire family. My wife doesn't like steak, if i make steak I also make some chicken for her. Marriage is about compromise, not forcing people to go along with your moral decisions. We have a vegatarian in the family and always prepare a vegatarian option for her. Your suggesting that everyone should go along with her moral decision because she does the cooking, and with that i disagree.
Look back at my post. Yes, there's an edit, but I made it before I saw your reply.
Whoever's doing the cooking makes the decision.
Other people don't like it, they can cook something for themselves. If I go vegetarian and my wife cooks a steak for dinner, I'll just have to make something else for myself. It's unfair to expect her to go to twice the work just for me. And, when it's my turn, she can either eat whatever vegetarian dish I'm serving, or she can make something for herself.
If your wife goes vegetarian, you'll either have to start eating vegetarian or shoulder some of the cooking duties.0 -
Give the man his meat, you made a choice, you shouldn't make the same choice FOR him.
Wrong.
Allow the man to have his meat... but tell him that you're only cooking one dinner. If he wants something else, he can make it.
Is this your wife posting on your account?
Nope.
Got a problem with that?
yep
How nice for you.
You're suggesting that since one person makes a moral decision the entire family has to go along with it. I cook for my entire family. My wife doesn't like steak, if i make steak I also make some chicken for her. Marriage is about compromise, not forcing people to go along with your moral decisions. We have a vegatarian in the family and always prepare a vegatarian option for her. Your suggesting that everyone should go along with her moral decision because she does the cooking, and with that i disagree.
Look back at my post. Yes, there's an edit, but I made it before I saw your reply.
Whoever's doing the cooking makes the decision.
Other people don't like it, they can cook something for themselves. If I go vegetarian and my wife cooks a steak for dinner, I'll just have to make something else for myself. It's unfair to expect her to go to twice the work just for me. And, when it's my turn, she can either eat whatever vegetarian dish I'm serving, or she can make something for herself.
If your wife goes vegetarian, you'll either have to start eating vegetarian or shoulder some of the cooking duties.
If my wife goes vegatarian she will starve, I do all the cooking!0 -
It's a big change and one which I would find as equally hard as your husband. However, it's your choice what you eat and its his choice what he eats. There may have to be some compromise on who cooks!! But you sound like you want to turn everyone else in the house against meat, which is perhaps what he's fighting against? I would be exactly the same as I love my meat! Preaching your newly found religion, eating habits, sexual habits, exercise habits etc etc etc to someone that you married a certain way, is always going to cause friction if they have no interest in that change. This is mainly why people get divorced, one person changes too much, arguments start, resentment sets in .......blah blah!
Like I said, its your choice what you eat, but try not to inflict it on others that are fine with what they eat too!! Everyone can still be happy eating different things. Just takes acceptance and compromise.
good luck :flowerforyou:
Not trying to change everyone- I just make sure I have enough options for all. I compromise on things and even make two meals. I guess it'll just take time for alittle acceptance. I can't help that my emotions chainged towards something. Guess it's about figuring how to grow together. People always change but I'm not trying to change him. It's not about changing him. It just bothers him that I won't put the meat on my plate or in my body. I cook their meals and I have something sepaate. I do the coolig and I do the PIA arrangements for myself or I go without. I'm not pushing. But it hurts when I get put down just because I don't want to eat something . Thanks for positive outputs. Enjoy reading all views0 -
Give the man his meat, you made a choice, you shouldn't make the same choice FOR him.
Wrong.
Allow the man to have his meat... but tell him that you're only cooking one dinner. If he wants something else, he can make it.
Is this your wife posting on your account?
Nope.
Got a problem with that?
yep
How nice for you.
You're suggesting that since one person makes a moral decision the entire family has to go along with it. I cook for my entire family. My wife doesn't like steak, if i make steak I also make some chicken for her. Marriage is about compromise, not forcing people to go along with your moral decisions. We have a vegatarian in the family and always prepare a vegatarian option for her. Your suggesting that everyone should go along with her moral decision because she does the cooking, and with that i disagree.
Look back at my post. Yes, there's an edit, but I made it before I saw your reply.
Whoever's doing the cooking makes the decision.
Other people don't like it, they can cook something for themselves. If I go vegetarian and my wife cooks a steak for dinner, I'll just have to make something else for myself. It's unfair to expect her to go to twice the work just for me. And, when it's my turn, she can either eat whatever vegetarian dish I'm serving, or she can make something for herself.
If your wife goes vegetarian, you'll either have to start eating vegetarian or shoulder some of the cooking duties.
If my wife goes vegatarian she will starve, I do all the cooking!
LOL!0 -
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If my wife goes vegatarian she will starve, I do all the cooking!
[/quote]
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: classic! And a great idea for someone trying to lose weight :bigsmile:0 -
Look back at my post. Yes, there's an edit, but I made it before I saw your reply.
Whoever's doing the cooking makes the decision.
Other people don't like it, they can cook something for themselves. If I go vegetarian and my wife cooks a steak for dinner, I'll just have to make something else for myself. It's unfair to expect her to go to twice the work just for me. And, when it's my turn, she can either eat whatever vegetarian dish I'm serving, or she can make something for herself.
If your wife goes vegetarian, you'll either have to start eating vegetarian or shoulder some of the cooking duties.
If my wife goes vegatarian she will starve, I do all the cooking!
Or she simply learns to cook her own meals. It goes both ways.0 -
Not trying to change everyone- I just make sure I have enough options for all. I compromise on things and even make two meals. I guess it'll just take time for alittle acceptance. I can't help that my emotions chainged towards something. Guess it's about figuring how to grow together. People always change but I'm not trying to change him
Sounds reasonable to me hun. I'm sure things will settle down after a while. When he realises you're not taking his meat away!!!
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Look back at my post. Yes, there's an edit, but I made it before I saw your reply.
Whoever's doing the cooking makes the decision.
Other people don't like it, they can cook something for themselves. If I go vegetarian and my wife cooks a steak for dinner, I'll just have to make something else for myself. It's unfair to expect her to go to twice the work just for me. And, when it's my turn, she can either eat whatever vegetarian dish I'm serving, or she can make something for herself.
If your wife goes vegetarian, you'll either have to start eating vegetarian or shoulder some of the cooking duties.
If my wife goes vegatarian she will starve, I do all the cooking!
Or she simply learns to cook her own meals. It goes both ways.
i wouldn't worry about it, no one is going vegatarian in our house. We stongly believe that if God didn't want us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of meat. Plants are what food eats.0 -
Oh wow. I was a vegetarian for over 10 years when I got married. On our honey moon I started to eat fish.
To me, it was, what is more important, your morality or your marriage.0 -
OK, I get what you're saying. My personal opinion is that people who get offended by your choice not to eat meat do so because they feel like you're in judgment of them. If you don't want to eat it because you don't want to support factory farming then "you must think I do support it and am therefore a bad person." They put a whole lot more judgment on themselves than we do. I disagree that you should eat meat to make him feel better about himself. Yes, marriage is a compromise, you ARE already doing that by not asking anyone to go vegetarian with you and continuing to cook meat for them. If you eat it to appease him, where's the compromise?0
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i just recently went vegetarian and i've been married about 13 months. i'll still prepare meat for my husband if he wants it, but usually he's fine with not eating meat. he will generally eat it if we go out.
also, i second the idea of what someone suggested about locally grown meat. we try to do that whenever possible.0 -
I am a vegan and my hubby is an onmivore. We eat together but cook our own food. He tries to eat my food because I make the most incredible dishes. Please check out my menu for last Christmas on my blog http://caroline-is-vegan.blogspot.com My whole meal was vegan (except for the turkey) and no one even thought it was odd. I did make a turkey (breaks my heart) for the meat eaters. My mom said that she didn't even need the turkey and only ate the other dishes. There was so much meat left. I am not trying to change people but I like introducing them to new and amazing dishes. I also have a friend who when together eats vegan with me, because he is super nice, then one day he goes "when we cook together and eat I never have any stomach issues and I always feel way better"
YAY!!!0 -
I'm vegan and my husband is vegetarian who occasionally eats fish or lamb. He doesn't cook, and I do. I make an effort (sometimes lol) to cook GOOD TASTY vegan food that he will enjoy, so when he's at home, he mostly eats vegan. He's just grateful when a hot meal is prepared for him.
I wouldn't force anything on your husband. Perhaps plan a yummy vegetarian meal, and ask your husband if he is happy eating this or would like something else. If he wants something else, accept that, and either cook it for him (if you are feeling up to it - this is not 1950) or kindly show him where the ingredients for his dish are located. I wouldn't make it an issue. Just enjoy tempting him with delicious food.0 -
This is lame.
If it's a MORAL issue, then you should be vegan, not vegetarian/pescetarian. Vegetarianism is just a half-assed way of trying to make yourself feel better. How do you think they treat dairy cows and egg-laying chickens? Educate youself.
If it's a HEALTH issue, then, well, you're wrong. There's nothing unhealthy about eating animal products.0 -
My parents were vegetarian. I was raised vegetarian. My husband switched to vegetarianism when we met (on his own, not for me). He said he never liked meat. My children and many other family members are vegetarian.
Having said that. Being vegetarian is not important. Eating meat is not important. What is important is health and loved ones.
The holidays are about loved ones and thankfulness. Focus on those things. Don't focus on the food. Try to shift your household focus as well (by example).
Make your marriage as happy as you can and find as much in common as you can. Minimize your change. You are the one who changed. He did not know he was getting into this. He is the same as when you met. You have to imagine if he changed something significant (and it bothered you = made you feel like you have less in common or like what you were doing was bad). That doesn't feel good.
When folks give you a hard time about your new diet, take it in stride. Don't preach. Don't judge. Let is roll off, then it will go away. Smile, ignore, change the subject. Find common ground.
There are lots of soy products and other meat substitutes. Try to fit in. When the family has hot dogs, you can have veggie dogs, etc. This will go a long way. Then everyone feels togetherness at the dinner table. Be creative. Build common ground.
Fyi, eating meat may not be the healthiest or most moral option, but do you wear leather? Do you eat honey? Do you eat jello? Where do you draw the line? There are healthy and modest ways to eat meat. Eating fried foods, junk food and processed is far worse than eating healthy meat.0 -
You're right cause they don't link high cholesterol and other health issues to meat eaters vs vegetarians on any studies at all. : /This is lame.
If it's a MORAL issue, then you should be vegan, not vegetarian/pescetarian. Vegetarianism is just a half-assed way of trying to make yourself feel better. How do you think they treat dairy cows and egg-laying chickens? Educate youself.
If it's a HEALTH issue, then, well, you're wrong. There's nothing unhealthy about eating animal products.
I don't buy dairy. We use soy milk- he is ok with that. I have my own chickens and don't buy eggs from the store. I try to buy vegan when possible. I don't buy leather. I don't buy raw hides and things of that sort for my dogs. Yes I know their food is not the best but I am new to this. I usually am mostly a vegan diet but don't claim due to my own chickens eggs and seafood at times (eating out with husband) I guess I've worded a few things wrong in main post- I don't make a big deal about it but when we sit down and I hear "are you serious?! You're not gonna eat the meat!?" or "that's all you're going to eat" it itS frustrating but its ok for someone to not eat certain items(those who don't like certain vegs,etc) as long as they eat the meat. my compromise on my part is not being a strict vegan and vegetarian at restaurants. Seafood is rare on my diet.0 -
I do focus on the healthy and direct the four kids to healthier decisions. I keep fruit, healthier cereals. My husband,since i toom the "health nut" road, no longer eats tums like candy and is decided at his own free will to quit smoking. He has lost weight and doesn't have sleep apnea now also.
They all like vegan burgers,soy cheese,veg-dogs, and the meal starters from morning star and tofu. Until someone looks too closely and realizes there's no meat- dang those good eyes! As far as taste they don't notice there's a change until they start inspecting the food.My parents were vegetarian. I was raised vegetarian. My husband switched to vegetarianism when we met (on his own, not for me). He said he never liked meat. My children and many other family members are vegetarian.
Having said that. Being vegetarian is not important. Eating meat is not important. What is important is health and loved ones.
The holidays are about loved ones and thankfulness. Focus on those things. Don't focus on the food. Try to shift your household focus as well (by example).
Make your marriage as happy as you can and find as much in common as you can. Minimize your change. You are the one who changed. He did not know he was getting into this. He is the same as when you met. You have to imagine if he changed something significant (and it bothered you = made you feel like you have less in common or like what you were doing was bad). That doesn't feel good.
When folks give you a hard time about your new diet, take it in stride. Don't preach. Don't judge. Let is roll off, then it will go away. Smile, ignore, change the subject. Find common ground.
There are lots of soy products and other meat substitutes. Try to fit in. When the family has hot dogs, you can have veggie dogs, etc. This will go a long way. Then everyone feels togetherness at the dinner table. Be creative. Build common ground.
Fyi, eating meat may not be the healthiest or most moral option, but do you wear leather? Do you eat honey? Do you eat jello? Where do you draw the line? There are healthy and modest ways to eat meat. Eating fried foods, junk food and processed is far worse than eating healthy meat.0 -
As with most things in life, patience is key. I agree with those who say you don't need to cook meat if you're not eating it. Don't judge others for their choices, but don't facilitate them either. Instead, focus on making the choices you agree with as easy and appealing as possible.
I do 95% of the cooking and while I will occasionally cook meat for my husband (I don't think it's right, but I also think that we all have our moral failings, so I don't stress about it) he knows not to expect it. If he wants meat then he can buy it and cook it for himself. I actually made sure that he learned how to cook meat before we got married because I was *not* planning on cooking it for him. Allowing him to make his own choices is not the same as facilitating those choices, which is what is expected by those who think you should cook meat for him.
The strangest thing happened a week ago. After 3 years of marriage my husband announced that he no longer wants to eat regular meat. Instead he is going to rarely buy "ethically" farmed meat. He said that he wasn't ready to give up all meat, but he had read something which convinced him that standard factory farming is a violation of his (Catholic!) beliefs, and so he is only going to buy meat when it meets his new standards.
And even that level of change took 3 years. He thinks that I will eventually eat meat, and I think that he will eventually stop entirely. And we both think that we can be happy together despite our differences.0
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