Food Guilt

itsallgood11 · February 2020

I go through these cycles of restricting intake of bad foods and eating really well, but then I have these intense moments of hunger and cravings for particular foods. It’s left me in a cycle of food guilt. Any thoughts on breaking the cycle?

serindipte · February 2020

Stop moralizing your food. Food is food, not 'good' or 'bad'. Some is more calorie dense than others and shouldn't be eaten as often, or in large quantities, but you can fit those foods into your regular routine, as well. I had an M&M Blizzard from Dairy Queen today! I look at my calories as a weekly goal/average and had a couple low days this week which allowed me to indulge today.

Instead of 'good' or 'bad', maybe try looking at your calories as a bank account. Some foods cost more, but are totally worth it, so fit them in. Others, maybe not so worth it, so skip those. If you're restricting so much you're suffering with intense hunger, you need to reevaluate your calorie goal, your loss rate, and your food choices. This isn't supposed to be suffering, horrible, or miserable. Enjoy the process as well as the end result!

dewd2 · February 2020

Yes. Stop classifying foods as good and bad. It's just food. Eat what you like but keep an eye on your calories and you will fine.

wwwtheselion11 · February 2020

It sucks getting the munchies. Laughing out loud. Im am starting back in that cycle. I know what you mean. I start snacking more. I like my trail mix an cashews unsalted. I just push myself harder when it comes to working out, so i can snack on those foods. I sure i wasn't the only one eating chocolate Friday. I really wanted Ben and Jerry's icecream. Laughing out loud

scarlett_k · February 2020

Over restricting can create a cycle of bingeing and restricting. As said above, you need to try to stop considering foods as good or bad, healthy or not healthy. Have a little of what you fancy and fit it in to your day. I've eaten cake, chocolate, sweets, ice cream etc. Practically every day for the past 3 years I've been eating to lose weight, and I'm coming up for 40kg down. You do have to learn how you can moderate your intake and for me it has been a long road of ups and downs but I am getting there. I can now have a tub of real ice cream in the house and it doesn't just contain one serving!

RichieBlasco · February 2020

I don’t advocate dishonesty. There are definitely bad foods. Foods that promote an environment of chronic inflammation, oxidative stress, etc. For example, hydrogenated oils & trans fats are bad foods. But your body has a certain tolerance for being stressed. Things with the body generally move in averages, over weeks & months. If, on average, you are eating well, then the occasional junk food splurge doesn’t mean that much — unless you hit a food allergy or something. Most people have “guilt” over the wrong “bad foods” anyway. Just focus on eating good on average, study up on bad foods where you can, avoid them when possible, cheat but don’t make it a permanent cheat. Work in averages.

katsheare · February 2020

RichieBlasco wrote: »

I don’t advocate dishonesty. There are definitely bad foods. Foods that promote an environment of chronic inflammation, oxidative stress, etc. For example, hydrogenated oils & trans fats are bad foods. But your body has a certain tolerance for being stressed. Things with the body generally move in averages, over weeks & months. If, on average, you are eating well, then the occasional junk food splurge doesn’t mean that much — unless you hit a food allergy or something. Most people have “guilt” over the wrong “bad foods” anyway. Just focus on eating good on average, study up on bad foods where you can, avoid them when possible, cheat but don’t make it a permanent cheat. Work in averages.

Perhaps a better term to use is 'harmful' rather than 'bad'. 'Bad' suggests a moral determination. 'Harmful' is absolutely true, and there are measurably harmful foods that are best avoided.

I also don't advocate dishonesty. I know that there are a lot of people who have never learned how to deal with guilt, who cannot separate 'I've done something bad' from 'I am someone bad'. Talk about a self-destructive cycle. So diffusing the guilt part of the original post is a valuable exercise.

Generally, when someone in these forums starts talking about 'good' or 'bad' food, there is no agreed definition of what they mean. (Nuts are 'good' (unless you're eating them by the kilo); sugars are 'bad' (unless they're in fruit and veg) just as two top-of-my-head examples.) So sticking with that language is, by and large, not going to help someone find their stride in maintaining a healthy relationship with food.

@brimmermary , when you say you're restricting foods, are you not allowing yourself them at all ever ever ever or are they a weekly (or daily, if it fits your calories) part of your diet? Because ask any 5-year-old: no food or activity is ever as desirable as the one you're not allowed. Take away the sanctions and you may help taking away the cycle.

There are those who can't allow certain trigger foods into their diet. That's okay too. Find other ways that work.

But above all, please know: guilt is not necessary in this. A quick look at my desktop dictionary tells me: guilty (a.) Having committed offence; culpable, criminal. That seems rather more serious than eating. Forgive yourself, save the guilt for when you've really earned it, and I do wish you all the very best on your health journey. As you're trying to find more tips, check the stickies at the top of the forums - there are so many good discussions around what foods make you feel fuller longer, how to take the emotional rollercoaster out of food, what to do when you're doing all the right things and the scale's not moving.... There are collective DECADES of experience on here; somewhere you will find the things that help you best.

lemurcat2 · February 2020

RichieBlasco wrote: »

I don’t advocate dishonesty. There are definitely bad foods. Foods that promote an environment of chronic inflammation, oxidative stress, etc. For example, hydrogenated oils & trans fats are bad foods.

https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/news/hsph-in-the-news/us-bans-artificial-trans-fats/

That aside, what is going to matter for things like "chronic inflammation" is overall diet, including what foods you do eat, not trying to 100% avoid specific foods (and bizarrely some seem to promote eating diets that exclude many highly nutrient-dense foods that also are associated with lowering inflammation based on the current popularity of "inflammation" as a scary buzzword. Pretty much every diet guru makes claims about their often diametrically opposed diets dealing with inflammation, and every new dieter seems to have diagnosed themselves with inflammation).

Personally, I think it is a lot more HONEST to talk in terms of a poor or inadequate or unhealthful diet vs. a good or healthy diet, and to realize that a healthy diet promotes health and is sustainable, so focusing ONLY on nutritional considerations or trying to eliminate all foods you deem not nutritional powerhouses even if you like them might not actually fit an overall healthy approach.

If, on average, you are eating well, then the occasional junk food splurge doesn’t mean that much — unless you hit a food allergy or something.

Yes, which is why it's silly to think of foods as good or bad in and of themselves, vs the focus on overall diet.

janejellyroll · February 2020

RichieBlasco wrote: »

I don’t advocate dishonesty. There are definitely bad foods. Foods that promote an environment of chronic inflammation, oxidative stress, etc. For example, hydrogenated oils & trans fats are bad foods. But your body has a certain tolerance for being stressed. Things with the body generally move in averages, over weeks & months. If, on average, you are eating well, then the occasional junk food splurge doesn’t mean that much — unless you hit a food allergy or something. Most people have “guilt” over the wrong “bad foods” anyway. Just focus on eating good on average, study up on bad foods where you can, avoid them when possible, cheat but don’t make it a permanent cheat. Work in averages.

I don't think it's dishonest to say that even if a food is harmful, having guilt for eating it isn't a useful or productive emotion. (And the list of truly harmful foods is much smaller than professional diet gurus would have you believe, especially at normal dietary quantities).

When people talk about "bad" foods, they're talking about it in the context of being a "bad person" who needs to feel guilt for eating it. That's the framing that is being rejected here.

bathsheba_c · February 2020

I agree with what others have said about not moralizing food. I would also add something that has helped me, namely focusing more on the process than on the outcome. I am not dieting. I am living life while making gradual changes to my nutrition to improve my health. Do I want to live a life where I never have any sweets and I go through family celebrations with a sense of dread? No. But I can be more selective about the calorie-dense foods I choose to eat while still knowing that I have an overall balanced diet.

NovusDies · February 2020

I don't view food as good or bad. I view prolonged surpluses of food as bad because in those situations no matter how "healthy" a food might be it is helping to add fat which is unhealthy unless you are underweight.

On the flip side if you are carrying too much extra weight then losing weight will make you healthier or at least at less risk of becoming unhealthy all by itself. This can be done with any style of eating that maintains your basic nutritional needs.

One other way of viewing it. Once your basic nutritional needs are met eating more nutrients only serves the purpose of adding more nutrients to your urine.

sardelsa · February 2020

NovusDies wrote: »

I don't view food as good or bad. I view prolonged surpluses of food as bad because in those situations no matter how "healthy" a food might be it is helping to add fat which is unhealthy unless you are underweight.

On the flip side if you are carrying too much extra weight then losing weight will make you healthier or at least at less risk of becoming unhealthy all by itself. This can be done with any style of eating that maintains your basic nutritional needs.

One other way of viewing it. Once your basic nutritional needs are met eating more nutrients only serves the purpose of adding more nutrients to your urine.

Nothing wrong with prolonged surpluses even if not underweight, don't forget about people who are very lean or it is within their goals... or they are gaining very slowly so they add more muscle vs fat. Yes they will add some fat but then they might cut down after. I run bulks despite not being underweight, my longest was 8 months but I would love to go a year or more. I gain fat but I don't get fat. Just wanted to clarify since it's not unhealthy to do this.

Food Guilt

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