Alcohol Bullying

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  • dbanks80
    dbanks80 Posts: 3,685 Member
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    sammidelvecchio wrote: »
    Last year I was really successful in my weight loss. One of the things I had to cut out was social drinking. I ended up just basically not seeing anyone for months. I had a great routine, was very happy, but ultimately alone 98% of the time (except for my partner). I didn't see friends for months at a time, we would still talk but I wouldn't see them.

    We all have to make decisions when it comes to what's best for us and the environment we need to take care of ourselves. I hope your friends get on board, but if not I hope you decide to do what's best for you no matter what!

    Hang in there !

    I've thought of blocking out the next few months and not socializing but I know it is not realistic or practical for me.

    I notice huge benefits going dry and I am loving this feeling. No bloating, no hangovers and sleeping the day away, my workouts are way more efficient. I don't drink during the week just weekends but even not drinking on weekends I feel so much better.

    I am going to stay focused.

  • deannalfisher
    deannalfisher Posts: 5,600 Member
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    i'm the DD - even if i'm not - it gets ppl off my back
  • vggb
    vggb Posts: 132 Member
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    Non-drinkers around regular drinkers makes them uncomfortable and insecure about themselves and their choices, especially if you were one of the 'regulars'. I've been there and pretty much have new friends along with a few that easily accepted that I wasn't drinking anymore, I guess they like me for who I am.

    A huge benefit of not drinking (along with so much more) was the immediate weight loss! I now call alcohol a "fat-binder" because it came off without any other dietary change. I was in my mid 20's then and dropped 40lbs! I have had times of 'social drinking' again and the weight came along with it. It's a good incentive for me not to regularly engage in social drinking, besides, I'm much older now and no longer have that desire.
  • Tinydancer106
    Tinydancer106 Posts: 3,678 Member
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    sammidelvecchio wrote: »
    Also, since this is new....if you don't like confrontation or are trying to work up courage to say something, in the meantime sneak off and order a soda water with lime. No one will know it doesn't have vodka in it and bars usually give non alcoholic drinks out for free !

    Lol I did this for years🙌😁 ....soda water splash of cranberry and lime was my go too "drink" when the girls would go out...until one of my friends drank it my mistake and was horrified 😳😂.....it was really yummy though especially if you were dancing all night💃🤷
  • NArunner
    NArunner Posts: 7 Member
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    tiredofthinkingaboutdrinking.com

    Awesome website.
  • spade117
    spade117 Posts: 2,466 Member
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    dbanks80 wrote: »
    "Oh we are partying with an old fogey" and "You are not fun when you don't drink" and "You can have a vodka and club soda it's only 64 calories!!"

    ^They are jerks for that.

    dbanks80 wrote: »
    Is my non-drinking and getting healthier making them feel convicted about their own lack of fitness and will power?

    ^You are a jerk for thinking this.


    I don't care what people choose to do. Some people are a-holes because people change and it doesn't fit with what they had originally thought about them or fit into their ways anymore.

    And others tell themselves whatever they need to about other's reactions to their own actions to make themselves feel rational about the choices they have made, regardless of what they are.
  • tcunbeliever
    tcunbeliever Posts: 8,219 Member
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    A lot of people see not doing something as a form of deprivation. And particularly if they lack the desire to deprive themselves they reason that surely no one should be deprived.

    I like to make it more of a challenge I am winning, something being conquered, no something I'm missing out on...it seems to put people more in my corner.

    I can't drink today, I'm 18 days into conquering the the month entirely, I can't quit now, I'm over half way!!!
  • johnbtay3
    johnbtay3 Posts: 170 Member
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    Take a bottle of vodka only fill the bottle with water when you go to a social event. Pour from the bottle and nobody will know.
  • GoJohnGo71
    GoJohnGo71 Posts: 439 Member
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    Just wanted to add a bit more. I'm very sympathetic to someone who doesn't want to drink around drinkers. I've been an active non-drinker several times in my life from the ages of 17 until now (age 48). I wasn't raised around problem drinkers. My dad would get blitzed during family gatherings and mom had a few drinks per year. Otherwise, dad had the occasional beer after work.

    I was a bit chubby as a teen and took up running. I also refused all drinks to stay in shape from 17 to 25. We're talking grads, big birthdays, lots of parties and girls around me. I recall being pretty uncomfortable at times. Young people my age didn't really get me. Yet you could usually find me on a dance floor and pretty girls would be around me.

    At 25 to 45, I basically said, eff this, and drank. Not to have turned into an alcoholic, but enough to know severe hangovers and dumb things I had said/done.

    A few years ago, I was chubby again and wanted less to no drinking. These memories are easy to recall, because they don't go that far back. A lot of the people I was associating with didn't think it was cool of me. I could tell how uncomfortable my sobriety was making them. They wanted "their John" back, especially when it came to "romantic times" with sexual partners. It makes me feel sad that middle aged people could care so much about my wanting to not drink, for however long I wanted.

    I didn't drink through all of 2017 and just a couple in 2018. Just for health and to change myself up a bit. I feel drinking can age you. And I had started to feel depression creeping in the day after a big night of drinking. I'm not one who lives for things like this.

    Last year, I drank a few times. I also went out and socialized a lot, and didn't touch a drop about 80% of the time. I would be totally cool if booze didn't exist. If you offered me 5 grand to not drink for the next ten years, I would do it no problem.

    So, yeah, I understand this thread...
  • 777Gemma888
    777Gemma888 Posts: 9,578 Member
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    People will go to gutter to attempt to get you to drink to justify their inebriated reasonings ... Over Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's, I was told,

    Her: "G Are you certain you will say no to Jesus juice?

    Me: (Pronouncing it with Spanish emphasis) Jesus can keep his juice, I don't take communion until Sunday and only AFTER confession. ;)

    You cannot control or change them. You need to stand firm on your decision for self and drive it home. They will either respect you or not. Be ready to be brandished with "party pooper" claims from them. It happens. Shrugs.

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