Looking for friends to help me with this

I need to loose minimum 70 lbs. but I like to loose 90 lbs to keep some cushion for parties, eating out and once in a while cheat days maybe. I’m 5’1” and supposed to be 98lbs to 115lbs. I started with 196lbs on January 7th. Took me whole week to just plan to start my weight loss journey and search what to do this time that I haven’t done before in past 22 years of my over weight due to pregnancy than stress of being over weight and binging on more and more food and trying all kinds of diets loosing up to 30 pounds and gaining it all back plus few more to add to previous one. Every pregnancy I was 179lbs on my delivery days but next 22 years I would hit 200lbs at the end of 2019. BIG PANIC!!! Also doctor showed my test results...high blood pressure, pre diabetic, high cholesterol, kidney issues and wrote on my proscription “LOOSE WEIGHT”. So I started a week before my 49th birthday. Keto/carnivore for a week and switched to carnivore for 2 weeks and then started putting a cheat day in when I hit 187 on my scale. For five days I would retain water in body and feel extremely bloated with headaches. Cheat days took me back to +5 lbs. So far I experimented twice and both time took me 5 days to go back to square one. All I added was rice some salad few nuts trail mix bars some fruits.Totally messed my system. So now I’m trying to stick to mostly carnivore diet which includes beef, chicken, fish, eggs, coffee with 1 or 2 tbls of heavy cream, different teas( cardamom, fennel, cloves, fenugreek seeds, fresh ginger), occasionally yogurt mixed with cilantro paste and mint paste on my meat, sometimes mustered on my meat, occasionally feta cheese with meat flavored with pink salta and green chilies. Lots of water but only when I am thirsty. On average I drink about 48 ounces including my teas. All my drinks except coffee I squeeze some fresh lemon juice. Also I have recently added vital proteins collagen from Costco in my drinks one to three servings a day until I develop the taste for real freshly homemade collagen. I take 700 calories to 1200 calories depending on the day how hungry I feel. So today I am 189 recovering from my third experimental cheating four days ago. I also started with Y flicker schooter mostly every day for 20 to 40 minutes. Bicycle was hurting my tail bone but Y schooter was perfect to make my hips get used to mobility. First night I felt like my every single muscle has been beaten and aches so much but with in one weak I could sit on my bed legs crossed which I haven’t been able to since I went over 170lbs years back. Second week I started little bit weight lifting with 5 lbs. on my Walmart gold gym xr 45( bought it 12 years ago) and one mile on my stationary bike ( bought 10 years ago). This week I have started 15lbs on gold gym. I still haven’t gotten on my treadmill which I bought 14 years ago right after my 4th child. It’s still in very good condition because obviously I didn’t use it as much. I have started using my Ironman inversion tableI after every exercise which was also bought over ten years ago for my children so they can grow taller hanging upside down on it everyday and for my back. Last year I bought GR8FLEX thinking this would solve my problem of overweight. Now I look back and see how I never continued with anything I started. I did not show myself patience. I gave up on myself sometimes in few days some times in few weeks and sometimes few months. What is different this time I ask myself. REALIZATION , PATIENCE , MOTIVATION AND DEDICATION for my wellbeing to live my remaining life the best I can with in my means. I have long way to go. When I started beginning of January I wanted to loose my weight in few months and get over with it but I really come to realization that it took me over 22 years to gain and keep this weight for so long. It will take a year or two to get back to where I was or where I should be. Also for my skin to shrink slowly back and not give it a shock of its life time to loose weight too quick. Especially when I am old already. Speaking of skin I have also started to use coconut oil, olive oil and some times baby oil after shower to keep my skin elasticity so it can go back easier. Mostly my search is from internet on all the issues except few which I experimented. I wanted initially two pounds every week but I think half a pound to 1 pound every week is better so hopefully I won’t have to go to skin removal surgery. So that’s my journey so far and I hope to make some friends who can motivate me on my journey to better health and hopefully I can have positive impact on someone to their journey. Thank you and I wish you safe and healthy roller coaster of our weight loss journey.