What Has Your Weight Kept You From Doing or Enjoying?

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  • greybeh
    greybeh Posts: 72 Member
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    Great post!

    I would like to swim to lose weight but I hate the thought of buying/wearing a swimsuit! How self-defeating is that?

    I feel self-conscious a lot. I would like to be able to totally relax while getting a massage or going to get a facial at the beauty school (both are very rare treats and things I do because I have fibromyalgia and deal with chronic pain).

    I feel self-conscious in a lot of my clothes and would like to enjoy going clothes shopping again someday!

    I really don't look for someone I want to be in a relationship because I'm afraid I will get rejected because of my physical appearance. And I'm a really nice person who is fun to be around.

    I felt so confident at my last interview because I was at goal weight... I'm afraid I may not get hired if I would have had that same interview over again at my current weight.

    I hate it when people yell mean things out car windows. But I'm glad they don't stop after doing it because I might just get myself arrested! LOL!
  • momcindy
    momcindy Posts: 194 Member
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    I've always wanted to go hang gliding (tandem with someone experienced), but have put it off because I felt I was too heavy for it. In retrospect, I probably wasn't too heavy since I was "only" 186lbs, and there are plenty of healthy, fit people in that weight range... I wasn't necessarily heavy, just FAT. :laugh:

    So do you think you'll try it sometime? It would be a good reward for your hard work.
  • greybeh
    greybeh Posts: 72 Member
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    I also feel very self-conscious at the ball-park or movie theater or bus... :(
  • greybeh
    greybeh Posts: 72 Member
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    I want to go hang-gliding, too!
  • lizziebeth1028
    lizziebeth1028 Posts: 3,602 Member
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    I was and still am self-conscious of my flabby granny arms. No matter how much I loose I have never been able to get my arms toned and fit!! I would see all the cute summer sleeveless tops, sundresses and even swim suits and wished I looked better in them. Now that I'm older I wear a sleeveless top and think whatever... but that young girl inside of me feels like she missed out!
  • momcindy
    momcindy Posts: 194 Member
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    I feel self-conscious in a lot of my clothes and would like to enjoy going clothes shopping again someday!

    Me too. Last summer my youngest daughter got married and I had such a hard time finding a mother-of-the-bride outfit. I finally found something but it wasn't what I really would have liked to wear.
  • momcindy
    momcindy Posts: 194 Member
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    I was and still am self-conscious of my flabby granny arms. No matter how much I loose I have never been able to get my arms toned and fit!! I would see all the cute summer sleeveless tops, sundresses and even swim suits and wished I looked better in them. Now that I'm older I wear a sleeveless top and think whatever... but that young girl inside of me feels like she missed out!

    I'm trying to prepare myself for what my 54-year-old body will realistically look like after I lose the weight. I don't think anything sleeveless will be in my wardrobe either, at least not in public. Trying to focus on the health benefits knowing that I'll never look like I did in my teens, 20's and 30's again without some help from a plastic surgeon and that's not likely to happen.
  • fbmandy55
    fbmandy55 Posts: 5,263 Member
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    Limited my desire to do many things because of low self-esteem. Honestly, this time last year would nearly have a panic attack to go out with friends, to concerts and several other things because I was so self-conscious. I would contantly have it in my head that people were staring-in a bad way. I wouldn't make eye contact with people or leave the house unless it was required.

    Just 40lbs lost and I am a completley different person. I see my self having the confidence I had when I was 18-19 years old and I'm wearing a size smaller than back then! :bigsmile: It helps to have sexy guys complement me and lots of friends on here to keep me motivated, I give them all the credit!
  • momcindy
    momcindy Posts: 194 Member
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    Just 40lbs lost and I am a completely different person.

    That really does encourage me. Thank you.
  • sherismb
    sherismb Posts: 120 Member
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    I love swimming and water and I think, its keep me from going swimming. Also, when I go home to California, it has made me avoid going places I would run into people I know, just hang with family and very close friends.
  • Vogue126
    Vogue126 Posts: 8 Member
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    Going out, seeing people, buying new clothes. I skipped my 20th high school reunion - I lied and said that I had family in town because it happened to be the day after Thanksgiving. I don't/won't let my husband touch me, I won't wear short sleeves or pants whatever the weather, and I hate how it limits me. Every decision I make is led primarily by my insecurity because I look horrible and more significantly, I feel like the weight makes me look like I can't control myself like an adult. Big eaters are addicted to food, but it shows and people looks down on me. I feel like an embarrassment to the point that I wondered if I would have to start lying about my children's ages and say that they're younger than they are to make it look like the weight is more post-pregnancy and less lack of control. This website has been a real help -- I have no reason to not write things down, and the bar code scanner is GENIUS!! I have finally lost weight since beginning to use this and it's been a lot easier and less painful. No worries that I screwed up and no reason to be lazy! I use the app on my iphone and the website -- really great stuff!
  • brocksmom
    brocksmom Posts: 103 Member
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    I really like topics like this:smile:

    It shows me I wasn't the only one having these thoughts.
    Keep up the good work everybody.

    Karen
  • InfamousQ
    InfamousQ Posts: 266 Member
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    Going to the pool or beach topless.....sitting on chairs.....talking to women......
  • curlykoki
    curlykoki Posts: 4
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    I am 21 years old and have never dated. I've had plenty of guys ask me out but because I am self conscious about my body I always make up an excuse, like I have a boyfriend already or right now I am focussing on myself. I also have scoliosis so that makes me even more self conscious then the amount of fat I am carrying around.

    People around me think I have alot of confidence and I do, I don't believe in settling for less then what you want. Which is probably why I am so hard on myself. Cause I know that I want a fit bf so I feel like I shouldn't expect a guy to want an overweight gf. Now I know that there are tons of guys who don't care about that but it's important to me and I know that as long as I feel uncomfortable with my body, the issue will affect any relationship i have with a bf.

    My weight has prevented me from dating, going to certain job interviews where I feel that looks wil play an important role in getting the job and going to parties i've been invited to. It has even stopped me from visting my friend who goes to college out of state. I know she talks about me to her friends because I'm her best friend and she wants her college friends to meet me, but knowing the people she hangs with in her college are skinny makes me feel even more like the skinny girl's fat friend. T_T

    So now it's her last year and she has just given up on asking me to visit because I never do and I know she is bothered by that. I will be getting surgery for my scoliosis soon but I would really like to lose the weight before I go visit her which will be in january,
  • WhitneyFMills
    WhitneyFMills Posts: 23
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    There is a lot of stuff that I don't do because of how I feel with the weight I have put on. I feel that I cannot even try to embrace who I truly am because I am the weight. I don't go hang with friends because I don't want to have a bulge showing in cute tops, and I don't want to feel like I am sticking out like a sore thumb wearing a loose t-shirt.
  • lisakatelaunspach
    lisakatelaunspach Posts: 79
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    The worst thing I did was quit ballet when I was 12 because I was the only 1 in my class with cellulite !! I haven't reunited with my friends for 5yrs because the last time they saw me I was 110lbs. I don't go to the beach or water parks with my family I don't go out to dinner or bake because ill over eat :( summer is a nitemare because I have to keep my body coverd if I do pluck up enough courage to go sleeveless then I'm carefull not to move my arms because the do the flapping thing !! I don't enjoy clubbing anymore cause I'm to big and even lost a chance to study ballet overseas because they felt my hips were to big :(
  • porffor
    porffor Posts: 1,212 Member
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    I relate about the school reunions. I have never been to one because of my weight.
    I have not gone on nights out - weddings / parties etc because shopping for clothes was just too hard for me to face. Even close friends I've let them down with excuses at the last minute. Feel guilty about this but confidence wise it has and still is if I'm honest hard for me to go out in a crowd.

    I nearly didn't start riding because of my weight it was only some counselling I was in at the time did some work on 'not defering life' that I faced my fears and picked up a phone to find out if they had a horse that could carry me at 227lbs. I can never forget the lovely girl I spoke to reassuring me that her horse could handle nearly twice my weight!! How sweet, I know now that's not true I was at the top end but it reassured me enough to go for a riding lesson and I have never looked back in respect of riding, it changed my life.

    I didn't take my eldest daughter swimming for 5 years.. yes I'm ashamed to say 5 YEARS because I feared going into the pool in a swimming costume. I took her when I'd lost some weight and then realised I was NOT the biggest there and no one gave a damn who I was or how big I was! We still go swimming regularly with our 3 girls now and I never let it enter my head about my weight.
  • rubytuesday
    rubytuesday Posts: 20 Member
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    Swimming, without a doubt... we live in a beach community where everyone spends their summers at the beach swimming or doing water sports. I love the beach, but I haven't wanted to go for years because I'm self concious about my weight. I don't snowboard anymore cos the extra weight makes it awkward. There are so many clothes shops I won't go into any more cos I can feel the sales assistants looking at me and thinking I won't fit into any of the clothes there. That is one thing I'm really looking forward to when I have lost the weight - walking into one of those designer shops, and knowing I can try on the clothes and they'll look good!

    I totally get people who say that carrying extra weight limits their whole life... there are so many things I don't feel comfortable doing now, I feel like being bigger inhibits me in almost every way. I'm too self concious to participate fully in my life!
  • moushtie
    moushtie Posts: 371 Member
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    I don't let being self-conscious stop me from doing things, I have enough limitations. So I'll throw on a swimsuit and go swim, even if I wobble. By the time I'm in the pool, nobody can see properly anyway. Usually some idiot kid will comment, but what the hey, I'm exercising, right?

    However, my physical limitations mostly involve seats. Cinema seats, aeroplane seats, roller coaster ride seats, even dining chairs with arms. Oh yes, at my largest, even car seat belts. That gets embarassing when taking a ride with friends...
  • katg100
    katg100 Posts: 12
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    I think this is a great post. Thank you Cindy for starting it!

    For me, I am completely self concious and lack self esteem, to the point where if my bf says he doesnt like what I am wearing, I take that as a personal slur on my appearance, character, everything. We almost split up over it once.

    I do things with friends, I meet them or go away on holidays with close friends, but I am always aware that I am 'the fat one'. This often causes me to be upset secretly. I lost a lot of weight just before I was 19 (over 11 years ago now) and I felt amazing. Gradually the weight returned and I feel pretty rubbish about it.

    I went into a shop the other week and tried on clothes in the biggest size I have ever been and they did not fit. I can't tell you how badly that has affected me, I am so terrified of admitting my size that I just wont go shopping now, despite the fact that I am desprate for new clothes.

    I joined a gym and I go several times a week with my bf. However afterwards we go to the spa and sauna in the gym to relax. Except I dont relax, I look at all the thin women and wish I was not this fat mess, that I feel I am.

    However with 9 pounds lost I am starting to believe that I can do this, and with the help of MFP I am able to realistically plan my daily food and excercise which is giving me optomism. I will achieve it again and now I am educated enough to maintain it.

    Good luck to everyone x

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