What Has Your Weight Kept You From Doing or Enjoying?

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  • Vogue126
    Vogue126 Posts: 8 Member
    Going out, seeing people, buying new clothes. I skipped my 20th high school reunion - I lied and said that I had family in town because it happened to be the day after Thanksgiving. I don't/won't let my husband touch me, I won't wear short sleeves or pants whatever the weather, and I hate how it limits me. Every decision I make is led primarily by my insecurity because I look horrible and more significantly, I feel like the weight makes me look like I can't control myself like an adult. Big eaters are addicted to food, but it shows and people looks down on me. I feel like an embarrassment to the point that I wondered if I would have to start lying about my children's ages and say that they're younger than they are to make it look like the weight is more post-pregnancy and less lack of control. This website has been a real help -- I have no reason to not write things down, and the bar code scanner is GENIUS!! I have finally lost weight since beginning to use this and it's been a lot easier and less painful. No worries that I screwed up and no reason to be lazy! I use the app on my iphone and the website -- really great stuff!
  • brocksmom
    brocksmom Posts: 103 Member
    I really like topics like this:smile:

    It shows me I wasn't the only one having these thoughts.
    Keep up the good work everybody.

    Karen
  • InfamousQ
    InfamousQ Posts: 266 Member
    Going to the pool or beach topless.....sitting on chairs.....talking to women......
  • curlykoki
    curlykoki Posts: 4
    I am 21 years old and have never dated. I've had plenty of guys ask me out but because I am self conscious about my body I always make up an excuse, like I have a boyfriend already or right now I am focussing on myself. I also have scoliosis so that makes me even more self conscious then the amount of fat I am carrying around.

    People around me think I have alot of confidence and I do, I don't believe in settling for less then what you want. Which is probably why I am so hard on myself. Cause I know that I want a fit bf so I feel like I shouldn't expect a guy to want an overweight gf. Now I know that there are tons of guys who don't care about that but it's important to me and I know that as long as I feel uncomfortable with my body, the issue will affect any relationship i have with a bf.

    My weight has prevented me from dating, going to certain job interviews where I feel that looks wil play an important role in getting the job and going to parties i've been invited to. It has even stopped me from visting my friend who goes to college out of state. I know she talks about me to her friends because I'm her best friend and she wants her college friends to meet me, but knowing the people she hangs with in her college are skinny makes me feel even more like the skinny girl's fat friend. T_T

    So now it's her last year and she has just given up on asking me to visit because I never do and I know she is bothered by that. I will be getting surgery for my scoliosis soon but I would really like to lose the weight before I go visit her which will be in january,
  • WhitneyFMills
    WhitneyFMills Posts: 23
    There is a lot of stuff that I don't do because of how I feel with the weight I have put on. I feel that I cannot even try to embrace who I truly am because I am the weight. I don't go hang with friends because I don't want to have a bulge showing in cute tops, and I don't want to feel like I am sticking out like a sore thumb wearing a loose t-shirt.
  • lisakatelaunspach
    lisakatelaunspach Posts: 79
    The worst thing I did was quit ballet when I was 12 because I was the only 1 in my class with cellulite !! I haven't reunited with my friends for 5yrs because the last time they saw me I was 110lbs. I don't go to the beach or water parks with my family I don't go out to dinner or bake because ill over eat :( summer is a nitemare because I have to keep my body coverd if I do pluck up enough courage to go sleeveless then I'm carefull not to move my arms because the do the flapping thing !! I don't enjoy clubbing anymore cause I'm to big and even lost a chance to study ballet overseas because they felt my hips were to big :(
  • porffor
    porffor Posts: 1,210 Member
    I relate about the school reunions. I have never been to one because of my weight.
    I have not gone on nights out - weddings / parties etc because shopping for clothes was just too hard for me to face. Even close friends I've let them down with excuses at the last minute. Feel guilty about this but confidence wise it has and still is if I'm honest hard for me to go out in a crowd.

    I nearly didn't start riding because of my weight it was only some counselling I was in at the time did some work on 'not defering life' that I faced my fears and picked up a phone to find out if they had a horse that could carry me at 227lbs. I can never forget the lovely girl I spoke to reassuring me that her horse could handle nearly twice my weight!! How sweet, I know now that's not true I was at the top end but it reassured me enough to go for a riding lesson and I have never looked back in respect of riding, it changed my life.

    I didn't take my eldest daughter swimming for 5 years.. yes I'm ashamed to say 5 YEARS because I feared going into the pool in a swimming costume. I took her when I'd lost some weight and then realised I was NOT the biggest there and no one gave a damn who I was or how big I was! We still go swimming regularly with our 3 girls now and I never let it enter my head about my weight.
  • rubytuesday
    rubytuesday Posts: 20 Member
    Swimming, without a doubt... we live in a beach community where everyone spends their summers at the beach swimming or doing water sports. I love the beach, but I haven't wanted to go for years because I'm self concious about my weight. I don't snowboard anymore cos the extra weight makes it awkward. There are so many clothes shops I won't go into any more cos I can feel the sales assistants looking at me and thinking I won't fit into any of the clothes there. That is one thing I'm really looking forward to when I have lost the weight - walking into one of those designer shops, and knowing I can try on the clothes and they'll look good!

    I totally get people who say that carrying extra weight limits their whole life... there are so many things I don't feel comfortable doing now, I feel like being bigger inhibits me in almost every way. I'm too self concious to participate fully in my life!
  • moushtie
    moushtie Posts: 371 Member
    I don't let being self-conscious stop me from doing things, I have enough limitations. So I'll throw on a swimsuit and go swim, even if I wobble. By the time I'm in the pool, nobody can see properly anyway. Usually some idiot kid will comment, but what the hey, I'm exercising, right?

    However, my physical limitations mostly involve seats. Cinema seats, aeroplane seats, roller coaster ride seats, even dining chairs with arms. Oh yes, at my largest, even car seat belts. That gets embarassing when taking a ride with friends...
  • katg100
    katg100 Posts: 12
    I think this is a great post. Thank you Cindy for starting it!

    For me, I am completely self concious and lack self esteem, to the point where if my bf says he doesnt like what I am wearing, I take that as a personal slur on my appearance, character, everything. We almost split up over it once.

    I do things with friends, I meet them or go away on holidays with close friends, but I am always aware that I am 'the fat one'. This often causes me to be upset secretly. I lost a lot of weight just before I was 19 (over 11 years ago now) and I felt amazing. Gradually the weight returned and I feel pretty rubbish about it.

    I went into a shop the other week and tried on clothes in the biggest size I have ever been and they did not fit. I can't tell you how badly that has affected me, I am so terrified of admitting my size that I just wont go shopping now, despite the fact that I am desprate for new clothes.

    I joined a gym and I go several times a week with my bf. However afterwards we go to the spa and sauna in the gym to relax. Except I dont relax, I look at all the thin women and wish I was not this fat mess, that I feel I am.

    However with 9 pounds lost I am starting to believe that I can do this, and with the help of MFP I am able to realistically plan my daily food and excercise which is giving me optomism. I will achieve it again and now I am educated enough to maintain it.

    Good luck to everyone x
  • clarech82
    clarech82 Posts: 244 Member
    I have been over weight since I was young and can say it has stopped me from enjoying my life. I have only been swimming about 4tumew since I was 12 I have never owned a bikini (and never will since having children) and have avoided a lot of things as I was to self cincuous.

    Now I'm nearly at my goal/healthy weight I feel like I'm turning into a person I have never known before I'm confident and happy and it scares me sometimes but I can honestly say I'm finally living :)
  • momcindy
    momcindy Posts: 194 Member
    However with 9 pounds lost I am starting to believe that I can do this, and with the help of MFP I am able to realistically plan my daily food and excercise which is giving me optomism. I will achieve it again and now I am educated enough to maintain it.

    Good luck to everyone x

    I still have my times of doubt but I'm starting to believe I can do this too. Right there with you.
  • pileomail
    pileomail Posts: 5 Member
    It is NEVER to late.

    That's something I needed to hear today. I sometimes struggle with whether that is true or not so it's good to hear it from someone who knows.

    I graduated in 1974 so we are essentially the same age. I allowed myself to be so discouraged because I kept reading so many articles about how difficult it was for women over 50 to lose weight. You know what, it doesn't necessarily have to be true. Maybe it's that we can do it when the time is right for us and the stars align and we just keep at it. When I realized how many pounds I needed to lose, I was convinced that I would never be able to do it. So, between the amount of weight to lose and my age, I felt overwhelmed too. I hate being defeated and when I admitted to myself that I wasn't even trying because I let those thoughts defeat me, I knew I could use mind over matter to turn it around. Using MFP has helped me a lot, as has the magic of exercise - LOL. This time last year, I was 178 lbs. Today... 115. Now that I realize I did it, I feel so much healthier and overall, a lot better about myself. My husband, at 67, has been inspired to lose 45 lbs, and my daughters feel like they have the Mom they grew up with back. May your stars align ;-) and best of luck to you in your journey!
  • jazzy020106
    jazzy020106 Posts: 485 Member
    My weight has pretty much stopped me from doing and enjoying everything. I have always been very thin and now that I am at the biggest I have ever been its on my mind 24/7.. No matter what I'm doing.. I refuse to go out with friends because I am now the fat one of the group and I hate it :(
  • roblow65
    roblow65 Posts: 156 Member
    Buying the clothes I want to wear, I hate having to go to the woman's section. I also want to wear shorts again or a cute skirt and not feel like everyone is looking at how big my calves are or commenting on my "cankles". I hate that I let myself get this far and I'm very mad at myself, but I'm working on forgiving myself and starting anew to fix this. ...That felt really good, thanks for listening and letting me vent a little!! :happy:
  • mmiiaa
    mmiiaa Posts: 171 Member
    A thriving social life.

    Early this summer, a carnival came to town. My friends and I went. I rode most everything no problem until I got to "the best ride there." I waited in line, and when I got on the ride and sat next to my friend, they couldn't secure the over the shoulder bar. It was so embarrassing. They had to move me to ONE PARTICULAR seat, and even there, they made me suck in and had to push it to lock. Even though I know it's less because I'm over-weight, and more because I've got a very large chest, I was still so embarrassed. I'd never had a problem before. I'm now afraid to go on any roller coasters until I lose 60 pounds or so. I've also always wanted to go to a water park. I'd just be comparing myself to every thin girl in a bikini.

    My weight has also prevented me from buying the clothes I really want to wear. Plus sizes (Torrid in particular) are so expensive! I can't afford that. I want to wear cute and sexy Halloween costumes. I want to wear skirts and dresses without feeling self-conscious. I want to wear corsets and sexy outfits for my guy.

    Even though in the past, I haven't been able to do these things, these are my motivation to keep trying.
  • bjshooter
    bjshooter Posts: 1,174 Member
    Great topic :)

    I love fashion, but always have to put way too much thought into everything I wear, what will cover this lump and that bump etc.

    Mainly sex though :D I would love to be able to have sex without the thought of saggy jiggley bits distracting me. TMI?
  • jhazminna
    jhazminna Posts: 9
    I feel ya on the High School reunion. My 10 year reunion was last month but I didn't go because I was ashamed of my weight.

    I don't wear bathing suits in public, I don't dance anywhere ever. Sometimes I avoid doing social things if there is a lot of walking involved because I'm embarrassed by how sweaty and out of breath I get when everyone else looks like it was nothing more than sitting in a lazy boy recliner and I look like i just climbed mount Everest.

    i avoid restaurants with booth i cant fit in... its so humiliating to have a waitress show your group to a booth and it turns out you cant fit in it. =/

    and i've avoided meeting and going out with new guys because i'm so ashamed of how i look and feel. in my prior relationships i was obsessed with the idea that they couldnt REALLY want me, who would want to be with someone who looks like this, i know i wouldnt.

    lastly, i LOVE fashion, but i pretend that i dont because everything looks bad on me, and i cant wear the kind of clothes i really want to wear.

    i dont want to live like this any more.
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