When is enough enough?

shoppie · September 2011

Hi,

My original goal was to be an acceptable weight for my height, which I reached a few weeks back. I am now the lightest I have been in my adult life (some 15 years!), with one exception of when I had chronic depression about 8 years ago. Possibly not the *best* comparator!! Even that weight is now only a matter of 4 or 5 pounds lighter than I currently am and I am definitely physically far stronger than I was then so higher muscle to fat ratio. I have 2 items of 'slim' clothing dating from when I had depression, both of which do up but neither of which are remotely wearable, nor will they be in 4/5 pounds, I think I'd need to lose at least 15 pounds i.e a whole dress size and I'm not sure that's actually feasible?? My hips seem much wider now (I have had 3 kids since recovering from depression :laugh: )

I just don't know whether to call it a day, or not - I kind of wanted to keep going till I fit in these clothes but I'm honestly beginning to wonder if I ever will and still be healthy since having the kids. Some days I feel slim, some not. I've kind of been keeping going the last few weeks as I was before, sort of see where it takes me but it is really bugging me as I want to know whether I am 'done' or not.

HELP! :yawn:

ajbeans · September 2011

I think maybe it's time to shift focus from the pounds to something else. Maybe you'd like to be more toned, or increase your endurance or strength. Maybe you want to do the C25K challenge. Your body does change so much after having kids, and it's true that you might not be able to wear those clothes again. Or maybe you can, who knows? But you've come a long way and made a lot of progress. I think, at least for a whlie, you need to set a new goal that's not scale-related.

TinaDay1114 · September 2011

Hi,

My original goal was to be an acceptable weight for my height, which I reached a few weeks back. I am now the lightest I have been in my adult life (some 15 years!)

...I kind of wanted to keep going till I fit in these clothes but I'm honestly beginning to wonder if I ever will and still be healthy since having the kids. Some days I feel slim, some not. I've kind of been keeping going the last few weeks as I was before, sort of see where it takes me but it is really bugging me as I want to know whether I am 'done' or not.

HELP! :yawn:

I think you answered your own question -- "I am now the lightest I have been in my adult life" and you said you are definitely much stronger and healthier on top of that. I'm kind of in your boat, too, and it's tempting to just keep going to see how low you can go -- but I think part of this process is learning that it's not the scale, it's the FEEL. Some days I feel slim, and some days not. But overall, when I stick to healthy food and exercise, I feel more healthy than I ever have. It doesn't hurt that the clothes fit better, too!

I also don't think our bodies are never the same after having kids -- we can have GREAT, HEALTHY bodies after kids, don't get me wrong! But there's no use trying to force your body into a mold that is no longer who you are -- you're now a NEW WOMAN, a super healthy, super fit MOM who is NOT depressed. Why go back there?? :flowerforyou:

StaceyL76 · September 2011

Only you can really answer this question. How important to you is it? If you are happy with yourself that is all that matters. Maybe hang out where you are for a month or so and see how it works for you.

You need to be happy with yourself. It is your call.

I guess I would go back to your Why? Why did you want to slim down? What was your motivation and is it still a factor?

Good Luck. = )

DaniellePF · September 2011

I have to agree with Stacy on this one--it's all about how you feel about yourself. We all have our own standards we want to hold ourselves to (and hopefully no one else's!) and it's a question of whether or not you are now comfortable in your own skin.

jellybaby84 · September 2011

I don't know, there's not that much to go on here.

My hunch would be that if you're not happy then you're not done.

What's your bmi or weight/height?

Personally, if it's middle of the healthy range or higher I'd keep going and if it's the lower end of the healthy range I might carry on for a bit to get a 'buffer; against a bit of gain then stop.

amybus · September 2011

My opinion is that ribs / hips / pelvis all widen when pregnant and giving birth and no matter how much weight you lose those things aren't going to go down.

I also think that if you just keep doing what you're doing you'll probably end up losing a little more anyway, and if you stop completely you'll probably gain it back, just be healthy, keep exercising and if you start gaining, then adjust.

And BTW, you look wonderful!

shoppie · September 2011

Thanks guys, there are lots of good ideas in there. i think for me the most useful and telling is to go back to my reasons for losing weight in the first place, and they are all about liking the way I look and feel when slim (and I do) fitting in al the lovely clothes in my wardrobe (I do absolutely everything but these 2 items of 'depression' clothes).

My gut instinct though is that I am not happy, I am about 160 lbs now and 5'8/9 (I'm not quite sure tbh), I have always thought of myself as large build but maybe I'm medium?? My waist is just under 30 inches, I have 34 inch hips and bust. My BMI is about 24 I think, I know I worked out to be 22 so middle of the range I would need to lose about the 15 lbs I'm talking about to be in these skinny clothes. I guess maybe from writing that I sound like I feel I ought to fit in them, ought to weigh around 145ish, but don't know if that is realistic/ maintainable?? I think maybe the biggest problem though is I'm not sure at all how important it is to me to be lighter, possibly not important enough to keep up the food regime/ exercise I am currently (which is why I adjusted down to a target 1 lb per week loss so I had a bit more breathing room)

I have no idea why on earth I want to weigh what I did when depressed - probably because that is the only time in my life people said I looked thin - I don't need to/ ant to be thin really but its like this social thing that thin = better! Argh!!!

I do def have work to do on my mummy tummy, though lots of JM has left me with visible stomach muscles when working out with a layer of empty skin on top - attractive, not!!!

VeganGal84 · September 2011

Wow, I can really relate to this! Just a few weeks ago, I finally gave up on my "goal jeans" which were nowhere near close to fitting, even though I am only a few pounds away from my goal weight.

I got into those jeans years ago, when I was depressed and suffering with EDNOS (eating disorder)... and weighed about 135. I finally decided that 140 is probably realistic, but 135 is just too tough for my body to do. I had to pretty much starve myself to reach that weight, and once I was in therapy and learned how to eat again, I ended up at about 140, before I gained 80 pounds with another bout of depression (it's scary how my previous weight losses and gains have been because of terrible eating habits/disordered eating and depression).

This time, I've lost the weight in a healthy way and I am actually wondering if I should stop worrying about my weight at all, because I'm pretty happy with my body now, perhaps for the first time since I was a young child.

I say, do what makes you happy and healthy. If those clothes remind you of a time in your life that was less than ideal (depression!!!) why hang on to them? Get rid of those "goal clothes" and buy some new stuff that fits who you are today.

When is enough enough?

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