How to get over being embarrassed working out in public?
Gallaghergirl11
Posts: 20 Member
Hey everyone,
Soo I've decided to get back at the weight loss again. I'm thinking about taking a long trip in July and I want to be in better shape. Now, walking around a mile is a little tiring and I want to be able to experience as much as possible.
One of my biggest hurdles for working out is that I hate the idea that people can see me- either at the gym or the track. How have you guys been able to get pass this mental block? Logically, I know it shouldn't bother me and it's probably a little narcissistic to even think people pay attention to me when they're driving, but I just can't get past it. It's like the haunting of high-school gym all over again.
Thanks all,
Soo I've decided to get back at the weight loss again. I'm thinking about taking a long trip in July and I want to be in better shape. Now, walking around a mile is a little tiring and I want to be able to experience as much as possible.
One of my biggest hurdles for working out is that I hate the idea that people can see me- either at the gym or the track. How have you guys been able to get pass this mental block? Logically, I know it shouldn't bother me and it's probably a little narcissistic to even think people pay attention to me when they're driving, but I just can't get past it. It's like the haunting of high-school gym all over again.
Thanks all,
12
Replies
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Can't speak for the track, but most people at the gym are too absorbed in their own workout to care about others'. If even they do look at you for a couple of seconds doesn't mean they're judging you or care at all what you're doing.
Go with a workout plan, so you're not aimlessly walking near the machines wondering what to do next, and learn how to properly use them (watch videos).4 -
I find that a gym buddy helps.2
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I just had to use the fake it till you make it approach.3
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People at the gym won't pay attention to you. But to help you get over your fear, go at a time when the gym is nearly empty (call and ask the desk person for best times). Go at that time for a while until you are comfortable, then gradually change your time (based on how crowded the gym is) until you are going at your optimum time.
Take it slow, best of luck.2 -
I had this fear when I first started. It turned out that the folks at my gym were nothing but encouraging and helpful. Over time I have developed several lasting friendships and have a regular group of "lifting buddies" that I look forward to seeing each day. Go, enjoy, stop worrying.1
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Agree with everyone above about the gym--there are all sizes and shapes working out. As for the track, and people driving by, can you go to a wooded area or park where there is less traffic?0
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When I started running the idea of being seen in running tights in public mortified me and then I realized that I was just part of the urban landscape and no one, other than other runners, even noticed me. The other runners, at least in my community, have the habit of acknowledging each with a little wave or nod. Even when I was plodding along it made me feel like one of the club.
You'll find the same thing in most gyms, when people notice a new member struggling to make positive changes in their lives they're likely to be supportive and encouraging.7 -
But it's not high school gym.
I live on a biking/walking trail and I can tell you that when I look out and see anyone on the trail, it is an inspiration to me, never a time to be judging. Especially the larger sized people - my thoughts are, "Go, you!!"...Maybe I need to get my rear end off the chair, myself!
Get out there. You'll be so glad you did.8 -
It's amazing what you can get used to if you just keep doing it!
I'm always a little nervous when going to a new gym or running in an unfamiliar location (particularly a city). I kind of smile at myself when I go a few times in a row and suddenly realize I'm getting used to it.
And, swimming has been a long slow process of accommodation on my part. Now, I throw on the suite and have at it. I've even gone to various community pools while on travel-- pretty radical.
So, how do you get used to going to the gym? 1) Go with a friend. 2) Go and skip the locker room. 3) Just go and suck it up for a while. 4) Go for 1-1 personal training with a really nice person.1 -
The first few times I went to the gym I went with someone. I wanted to stick to my program though (mostly weight lifting) and my buddy with theirs (mostly cardio).
I realized we were coming in together, but then doing our own thing. So one day I decided to go on my own and nothing bad happened! I had a good time and didn't feel guilty about staying there too long.
I've been addicted ever since3 -
I know what you mean about being in public. It can be very daunting. I know this isn't gym related but last summer I was sitting in a tree (as you do when you're 60) looking down and people walking by. At first I thought they were criticising me but then I realised that most of them wished that they had the guts to climb the tree and enjoy being a child again. So even if some people do notice you, most won't be critical but admiring.8
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So many different shapes and sizes at my gym. Just try, repeat and eventually you won’t give a damn.0
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I still get embarrassed, even after a decade. I have a pair of rollerblades rusting in my garage because I'm too embarrassed to skate around my neighborhood. Best thing for it for me is to put in headphones and block people out. I'm working out for me. This is me time. I barely say hi to people at the gym. I'm on a mission.1
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Do you have a dog? My local tracks allow dogs as long as they are leashed and you clean up after them. I don't know if this is the case with yours, but if it is, consider taking your dog or maybe borrow a friend's dog or a dog from the local shelter. They LOVE when people volunteer to take dogs for walks, and the dogs love it too! Its nice for them to get out of a kennel and stretch their legs. My angle with this is, when I am driving, if I notice a dog, all of my attention is on the dog. I don't notice the person with the dog.
Taking my own dogs running has helped me get over the fear of being seen in public because I am able to tell myself that people are staring at my adorable dogs, not at me. When I first started running, I was only able to go at like 2 am when there were absolutely no people and no cars. Now, I've moved up to a point where I literally don't care when I run or who sees me.
As for the gym, just remember that we are all there for the same purpose. To become better, healthier versions of ourselves. In my experience, other gym goers are some of the most supportive and encouraging people out there.2 -
This is why I love Planet Fitness.. there are so many different body types in there working out. I fit right in.
As far as outside in public, I usually don't do any walking until after dusk, not because of being seen, but I don't like the heat. During the winter, I'm more likely to walk laps in my house or just use the treadmill at the gym. I put my headphones on, turn on Netflix on my phone and watch a show while I walk. No one pays me any attention at all.1 -
I use home workouts, could that be an option for you? 😊1
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In the beginning I used to go to the gym at off peak times and it felt less intimidating. I also started with activities that felt more familiar and slolwy challenged myself to try new things. I figure I can only be "the newbie" for a short time and that the only way to get more comfortable is to keep going.
I am still self conscious sometimes but I just push through because I feel so physically and mentally strong after working out. And all the other comments ring true - no one is really paying any attention to anyone else.
Best wishes to you!0 -
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I decided many years ago that if someone else's biggest problem was the size of my backside, then good luck to them, I have other stuff to think about. It's very liberating.
Tbh when out running the only comments I ever get are nice ones, with occasional apologies for over enthusiastic dogs.
Actually one of the things I really liked last summer was that I would see a couple of elderly chaps walking in the park fairly regularly, we always had a bit of chat on the way past. If you can get started you just become part of the scenery.
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cmriverside wrote: »But it's not high school gym.
I live on a biking/walking trail and I can tell you that when I look out and see anyone on the trail, it is an inspiration to me, never a time to be judging. Especially the larger sized people - my thoughts are, "Go, you!!"...Maybe I need to get my rear end off the chair, myself!
Get out there. You'll be so glad you did.
This is so true. One of my favorite things about running regularly at the same park at the same time of day is getting to see the same people over and over and watch their journeys. Right now there is an adult mother/daughter pair who are both very large women, but growing smaller every day! When I first started noticing them, walking was hard and slow, and now they walk briskly! It’s such a delight to see them improving their fitness together.
If you are uncomfortable about exercising at your current size in public, remember: you never know who you might be inspiring! There may be someone too embarrassed to be exercising in public who says “If she can do it, so can I.”4 -
As an older woman, with saggy baggy skin and not great form, I was too embarassed when I started running to run outdoors. The first 4 months I stayed on the TM because I was afraid of being laughed at if people saw me. Then i signed up for a race and knew I'd have to run outdoors to prepare for it. I had to walk all the hills and pass the same houses ever day at my very slow waddle. Guess what - nothing bad happened. If anyone had any thoughts at all about me passing by, they never said anything to me. A few neighbors would say, "Was that you I saw on X street?" but that was it. A few have said, "I used to run, but . . ." Never have I sensed any judgment.
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Because I’ve been there, I’m secretly and silently rooting for every single person I see on the trail. I always have to bite my tongue from saying, “You rock! Way to go! Keep it up!” for fear of embarrassing someone.
It’s even worse in the studio, because I want to sweep them up in a bear hug and whisper,”Come back again it’ll get better and better!!” in their ear, because I see the fear of judgement and the discomfort in their eyes. But I figure that would scare the pants off them.
So I don’t.
Sometimes wonder what would happen if I did.7 -
Who cares? I am active because I want to be healthy and if someone wants to judge me or look at me funny...so be it. I know its difficult, but put it out of your mind. Stay positive and know in your heart that ultimately you are doing something positive for your health.
By the way I started working out in smaller environments so I could focus on me (without other distractions). I work one-to-one with a trainer and take pilates (classes are 12 or less). I don't know if that is an option for you, but it may take some of the stress of working out in a gym away. I like the individual attention and being able to do more than one activity. Next month I'm trying a pure barre class!0 -
Honestly just doing it and getting through your anxiety is the only thing you can do. I see changing my health as part of facing my fears. The gym intimidated me and my first goal was just walking in the door and going in the locker room. I stuck around but couldn't figure out some of the machines. I signed up for a free appointment with a trainer and it helped a lot to have a plan. I was definitely nervous for awhile but no one pays attention to me aside of a nod or smile. It's not recommended but I do my cardio first, it burns off my stress and anxiety. I second going at off-hours to get started if you can. Having great playlists helps a lot too. I'm still feeling a little out-of-place when it comes to straying from my workout bench in the free weight area but I just started working through that. Walking outside gets easier too.1
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At times I go out and work out in a park. Nobody pays attention to me even if I grunt, or do something clumsy.0
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I put my ear buds in and go for it. Gym or local trail. I'm getting fit for me. You just got to stop caring what everyone else sees when they see you. Start caring more about yourself, your why, your goal and keep focus on that. Nothing else matters.0
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Today, I fell at the gym while doing pull thrus...so not only was I doing a weird butt exercise...I tipped over, hit the floor, and made a huge banging sound when the plates fell on the machine.
I mean you are welcome to think of this when you start to feel embarrased. It was pretty comical.7 -
deputy_randolph wrote: »Today, I fell at the gym while doing pull thrus...so not only was I doing a weird butt exercise...I tipped over, hit the floor, and made a huge banging sound when the plates fell on the machine.
I mean you are welcome to think of this when you start to feel embarrased. It was pretty comical.
I regularly fart loudly deadlifting. Also wee a bit.2 -
ignore everyone and listen to loud music. i find it helps to go to a gym with regular people. its hard to feel ackward when you are exercising next to a obese man, a teenager and a woman in her 80s
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I don't usually work out in public because I prefer to work in the comfort of my own home, but I wouldn't mind doing it if I had to. People have seen me, fat and all, every time I stepped outside. People don't magically gain vision when I start working out, they see me when I work out in public just like they see me when I'm grocery shopping. Both grocery shopping and being at the gym are just people doing their thing at the appropriate place for that thing.
What made your high school gym experience intimidating? Maybe if you start there it will help you understand why you're having this issue and what can be done to make it easier. Mental blocks can be stubborn and hard to reason with, especially if you're trying to handle them on the surface. Maybe understanding the root of it will help make things easier.1
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