Embarrassed over weight lost

AmyG1982 · February 2020

So I’ve lost just over 50lbs and I’m proud of that but I’m also really embarrassed because I still have so much more to lose (25 more to my first goal but I definitely should lose more than that, probably another 50 if I’m being honest).

I feel like if I wasn’t still so over weight I wouldn’t be as embarrassed...

Anyone else go through this? Did you feel better after you got closer to goal?

Jackie9003 · February 2020

I know exactly what you mean, I've lost 70lb and need to lose the same again, I'm embarrassed to say how much I've lost because I'm still so very overweight.
But I feel so much better for it health wise and I'm wearing some lovely smaller sized clothes too so I just avoid conversations about it.

asthesoapturns · February 2020

I think you should be proud of what you've accomplished. You've done something great for yourself. One of my colleagues directed me to MFP when I told her I'd lost 15lb, since I know she's been on a weight loss journey since Oct. She's lost over 30lb! Yes, she's go more to lose and so do I but I'm so proud of her and what she's accomplished for herself!

DAN1ELGRU88 · February 2020

Just keep doing what you’re doing. Lots of support on here. Never be embarrassed. As long as you feel good about your achievements so far then that’s all that matters

88olds · February 2020

How are you feeling? Why did you get started with weight loss? You getting anywhere with those kinds of goals?

AmyG1982 · February 2020

88olds wrote: »

How are you feeling? Why did you get started with weight loss? You getting anywhere with those kinds of goals?

Oh yeah, I’m totally crushing it on those fronts lol. It’s literally just the embarrassment about the # I’ve lost. I hate saying to people (especially ones who’ve never had a weight problem) that I’ve lost 50lbs while still needing to lose so much more.

seat151 · February 2020

Embrace the loss

GeminiLady159 · March 2020

I hear this! Create some alternate answers-like “I’m partway to my goal” or “yes it’s been a journey and I’m still going”. No one needs to know your loss in numbers.

One time a coworker said “do you know how much you’ve lost?” She wanted a number...and I just looked right at her and said “Yes I do.” And walked away with a “Have a nice day!”

joyanna2016 · March 2020

You dont have to answer any personal question that makes you uncomfortable, weight related or not. There are 100 ways to skirt that question ( my favorite answer is "more than a few") and if they get very direct, then you get very direct back.

joyanna2016 · March 2020

...so I meant to bold one word not half my paragraph!

josephinebowman · March 2020

Won't it feel good when we get there! Argh, right now, I have a 3 pound yo-yo going. 52 more pounds after these 3.

JaisJourney · March 2020

I can totally relate. I’m down roughly 25, but I have 80ish (not really sure what number yet) to goal. I’m not sure what it is about society that feels that they can be so invasive when it comes to weight loss. I think it’s because some people are willing to be so open so people assume everyone is like that. I hate it because I feel pressured once I put that number out there not to make any mistakes, and then when I fluctuate it weight it makes me feel terrible, like a failure, and then if they ask me weeks later and I weight the same (or more) I feel embarrassed or humiliated. Like I’ve been hovering around the same number for months and so my coworkers when they ask and I say the same as I was last month or so I can hear the judgement in their voice. I guess it comes down to learning not to care or seek approval in others and that’s an area I’ve struggled with all my life.

Either way, you should be proud of what you’ve accomplished and think about how far you’ve come versus how far you need to go. Don’t feel you owe anyone a number.

kmiller2350 · March 2020

I have a similar dilemma. I was so embarrassed that I weighed more than my hubby before I finally flipped my switch in January. I'm down 10 pounds now and finally weigh less than him, but I won't tell anyone else how much I've lost. I was about 75 pounds overweight, so have 65 to go. I still am dealing with remorse at how bad it WAS that I'm not looking at the bright side of how it IS and WILL BE.

vampirequeen1959 · March 2020

It's because we try so hard to hide our weight. No one wants to admit to all and sundry that they weigh far more than they should (in my case three times as much) so when we lose weight it becomes a quandry. If we say we've lost xlbs and they can see that we still have a long way to go, we worry that they'll begin to work out what we still weigh. I don't think most people will do that. They'll admire your success.

seltzermint555 · March 2020

Like others have said, you never have to give numbers - especially if it makes you feel uncomfortable for any reason!

I rarely talk about my numbers with people and it's partly because they don't seem to believe me. At my HW I was a little over 300 lb and now I hover around 170 lb. When I say I've lost 130 lb it's like the average person absolutely can't imagine that or they think I must have been practically bedridden...which couldn't be further from the truth, of course. People don't have a good idea of what x amount of weight loss looks like. Even as someone who has lost a lot, I don't always have a good idea of that, either...weight is such an odd thing and can be distributed so differently! On these forums you will see photos of people with drastic differences from losing 50 lb and others whose loss of 75 lb, while major, doesn't seem AS shockingly different in a side by side.

Anyway, don't tell people if you don't want to. I did not chronicle my loss on social media and some of my friends criticized that and thought I should. Nope, my body and my decision. Sometimes people will see me and say "WHOA I had no idea you lost that much weight, you look great" and I love that, I admit...but I don't need to post my before/after on facebook with measurements or pounds/inches...that wouldn't be ME at all and quite embarrassing. Plenty of other people LOVE doing that and find it very motivating and/or gratifying. We're all different.

magnusthenerd · March 2020

I think it is an issue that even getting to goal might not change.
I found myself far more critical and even harsh in my own head when I was down to a single digit body fat than I was when I was 285lb. At 285, I could acknowledge I was big, but never think of myself as really having a problem. At 160, I had a period where I was viciously calling myself fat in my head and not accepting that I wasn't. I think some of it subsided as I learned to not worry about the idea that I was going to go back to what I was.

shetland · March 2020

I get that. You don't NEED to tell people how much you have lost. If they ask if you have lost weight say yes and that's it. If they ask how much you can always say you are still "in the process" and are not sure so far, LOL

keodell1966 · March 2020

Congrats on your loss, first and foremost. That’s something to be proud of, no matter if you have more. We are all on our own journey, and what you’ve done so far is phenomenal. 🙂

Wiseandcurious · March 2020

There was a lovely thread called "I've lost an elephant's p***s" way back, giving the real-world equivalent of different amounts of weigh lost. Depending on the person asking and situation, I might totally answer with something from that list. Or... just blow them off.

FWIW - I am slightly embarrassed too... so I don't talk about weight loss yet with anyone but my husband.

elisa123gal · March 2020

Congratulations on your weight loss. It takes a lot of hard work to do what you did. I hate that you still don't feel good about that and hope you can see it the way many of us do. That loss has made you so much more healthy.. you're doing great and I'm sure those around you are impressed.

NovusDies · March 2020

I have lost over 200 pounds and I have decided to take a 4 month recomp/maintenance break now that I probably 25 pounds from some sort of goal.

In recent months the healthcare workers that needed to know the specifics have treated me in a way that you might expect a minor celebrity to get treated. That is especially true after learning that I did not have WLS. I realize that is an error on their part because WLS is not a cure. It is a tool and the person still needs to change the same way everyone else does if it is going to be successful now and in the future. That treatment does not make me feel good about any of it though. It just upsets me that my "achievement" is not so common among the obese that it is barely worth noting.

I am also told on a regular basis that I should be proud of myself. I really hate that.

I am still embarrassed by it. I have told next to no one the particulars because it is none of their business AND I am more than the guy that lost a bajillion pounds just like when I at my heaviest I was more than the sum of my fat.

The thing is we don't have to think all the right thoughts as long as we do not let those thoughts turn to action that negatively impacts our lives. I am naturally an acceptance and commitment person meaning that I see the thoughts as irrational but I mostly set them aside and keep driving forward.

Embarrassed over weight lost

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