I just lost my best friend to cancer...

Tailea
Tailea Posts: 84 Member
in Chit-Chat
My kitten, Cubby, had to be put down yesterday at about 6am. She had to go to the emergency vet because she had a rectal prolapse and they told me they could fix it with surgery and she would be fine. When they took her in and opened her up, they saw that her entire colon was hard with tumors and they couldn't fix it. The surgeon called me and said that she wanted my permission to put her down while she was still asleep from surgery so she wouldn't have to be woken up and be in pain. The hospital is nearly 2 hours from my house, so I couldn't be with her when they did it.

I'm completely devastated and I don't know what to do with myself. I don't work right now and I don't know anyone in my town. This kitty was so special to me, she was my best friend. I haven't been able to sleep since we took her to the hospital because for her entire (way too short) two years of life she's slept with me every night.

I've lost pets before but she wasn't just a pet to me. I feel like I've lost a family member and it hurts so much. I keep telling myself (and being told by other people) that it gets easier, and with the other pets I've lost in the past it had. I don't see this ever getting easier.

...Sorry that all my posts here are whiney and negative. I just needed to say this.

Replies

  • Tailea
    Tailea Posts: 84 Member
    My kitten, Cubby, had to be put down yesterday at about 6am. She had to go to the emergency vet because she had a rectal prolapse and they told me they could fix it with surgery and she would be fine. When they took her in and opened her up, they saw that her entire colon was hard with tumors and they couldn't fix it. The surgeon called me and said that she wanted my permission to put her down while she was still asleep from surgery so she wouldn't have to be woken up and be in pain. The hospital is nearly 2 hours from my house, so I couldn't be with her when they did it.

    I'm completely devastated and I don't know what to do with myself. I don't work right now and I don't know anyone in my town. This kitty was so special to me, she was my best friend. I haven't been able to sleep since we took her to the hospital because for her entire (way too short) two years of life she's slept with me every night.

    I've lost pets before but she wasn't just a pet to me. I feel like I've lost a family member and it hurts so much. I keep telling myself (and being told by other people) that it gets easier, and with the other pets I've lost in the past it had. I don't see this ever getting easier.

    ...Sorry that all my posts here are whiney and negative. I just needed to say this.
  • Losing_It
    Losing_It Posts: 3,271 Member
    I'm so very sorry about your kitty!:brokenheart: :flowerforyou:
  • douganl
    douganl Posts: 283 Member
    I am so sorry to hear about your loss :cry: !! It is so sad to lose our beloved pets!

    {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

    Stay Strong!
    ~ Leontine
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
    Sorry about your loss. :heart:
  • memaw66
    memaw66 Posts: 2,558 Member
    Oh, I am so sorry to hear of Chubby's passing. I know how you feel. I have had to put pets down and it is very hard. Some people don't understand that bond. You have every right to feel how you feel right now. Just be comforted in knowing that you did what was best for your friend. You wouldn't want the little thing to be suffering and hurting. And be comforted in the fact that you had the companionship for 2 years and you made her 2 years here on earth good. It does get easier but it just takes time. Be proud that you did what was best for the little baby!!!


    Memaw
  • stillkristi
    stillkristi Posts: 1,135 Member
    I am so sorry for your loss. :brokenheart: Maybe you don't know anyone in your area, but you have friends here. I will be thinking about you today. :flowerforyou: :heart:
  • Cerabell18
    Cerabell18 Posts: 124
    :cry: I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I feel the same way about my kitty. If we were to lose her, I think my husband would fall apart faster than I would because he is very attached to her even though we have just had her a few short months.There is no reason to apologize because that is what this group is here for, to support you in your daily struggles.

    If you are up for it, perhaps volunteering at your local animal shelter would help with your grief. You would be able to meet more people who share your interest and you could help better the lives of other animals.
  • heal4444
    heal4444 Posts: 709
    Hey Tailea,

    I'm so sorry to hear you lost your kitten, your best friend. I've read other posts of yours and know you're already going thru a tough time in your life and this is happening at the worst time possible. Stay strong ok, cry, and keep reaching for support. Wishing you comfort in your time of sadness and grief. Thank you for confiding in us at MFP when you need support. :flowerforyou: :heart: Take very good care of yourself Tailea.
  • TamTastic
    TamTastic Posts: 19,224 Member
    I'm really sorry to hear that!!!! :frown:
  • Cloe
    Cloe Posts: 435
    Hi, I can totally understand your pain, we had to put down our girl (shephard, husky mix) who was so much a big part of our family. I know the pain you're feeling. The website below might give u some peace of mind. It help me when we lost Lady. U can put the kitten on rainbow bridge and dedicate a poem to the kitten etc. It is a very nice website. So sorry for your loss.:flowerforyou:

    http://www.petloss.com/poems/maingrp/rainbowb.htm

    PS - it is not the girl in the picture that is our newest addition Cloe, my husband got her for me when he seen the pain I was in from losing my Lady (we got her a week after my baby girl was gone, it made things easier to deal with). Cloe looks just like her but has a totally different personality. Lady was best behaved dog I know, Cloe is a brat, but she is my brat and we all love her very much. Did u think of getting another kitten, think of it as a sister for your lost little one.
  • Dave198lbs
    Dave198lbs Posts: 8,810 Member
    I know exactly how you feel. I have always had a buddy...some cats..some dogs...and to lose a pet is more painful than anyone can describe. If I can clean up my messes and atone with honesty, I will join them in heaven someday because they are there. I wish I could do something because it is so unfair. You did what you could and that means alot.
    Dave
  • Wynnie
    Wynnie Posts: 225 Member
    Oh sweetie - your post brought tears to my eyes. I also had a kitten that I lost (almost a year and a half ago now) and I was trying to get back from a trip and be with him before we lost him and didn't make it.

    I thought I would never ever stop hurting - and it was very hard. :brokenheart: I think because he was a kitten still (and same with your baby being so young) that it makes it that much harder.

    The things that did help me were: expressing myself, and letting my friends help me. In our culture we're trained to hide our feelings and "be strong". Because I allowed myself to grieve for Spike, in time, it did get easier. I had some understanding friends who would listen to me talk about him even a year after he went away. I spent a lot of time looking at his pictures and watching cute kittten vids on YouTube - and talking to others on support sites like this one.

    I truly feel for you. Do hang on. Miss her - it's OK. And maybe someday you'll be able to give some of that love to another animal who needs it!
  • KatWood
    KatWood Posts: 1,135 Member
    I can relate. I lost Loki just over a month ago. I never imagined it would be so hard. He was so much more than a cat. He became sick suddenly and died before we could get to the vet's to be with him. The worst part is that we don't know why he became sick. He was quite healthy right up until when he became ill. He was only 8 yrs old.

    I can relate to your sleeping problem too. My husband travels for work often during the week and that first week when he was away after Loki passed was sooo hard. I thought it was getting easier but I had a big breakdown this weekend. Everything is a reminder. Even though I know he is gone, whenever I walk in the door at home, I expect to see him coming running down the stairs meowing, telling me all about his day.

    I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't know what else to say except for that I understand and message me if you ever need to talk.
  • Mercede
    Mercede Posts: 21
    I am so sorry for your loss. I lost a cat several years ago that I had for 16 years. He was such a special member of the family. One thing that helped me to cope was I would try to imagine him watching birds as he so loved to do and playing in a much better place. It does not seem like it now but time will heal your pain.
  • chrissyh
    chrissyh Posts: 8,235 Member
    So sorry for your loss!
  • tashjs21
    tashjs21 Posts: 4,584 Member
    Sorry for your loss. :brokenheart:
  • magichatter06
    magichatter06 Posts: 3,593 Member
    I can relate to you with my dog...she was my best friend in the whole wide world and I lost her to cancer when I was 10 :brokenheart:

    Sorry to hear that! Hope you feel better ! :flowerforyou:
  • mommared53
    mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
    I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. :brokenheart: I know what it's like to lose a beloved friend like that. I really don't know what to say to ease your pain. :cry: It does gradually ease with time but it's hard to imagine that at this point, I know. My thoughts and prayers are with you. :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

    Betty
  • heather0mc
    heather0mc Posts: 4,656 Member
    so sorry for your loss! :cry:
  • Tailea
    Tailea Posts: 84 Member
    Thank you everyone. We just called to arrange to have her ashes returned to us, and they said they give them back in a nice wooden box with leaves and flowers carved on it. That's so Cubby since she loved hunting mice so we figure nature stuff=bug hunting? Idk but we're planning on making a shelf to put it on and nice pictures of her. We have had a bunch of pictures of her up in the hall and computer room for a billion years already.

    I have five other rescued cats right now, but Cubby was just different. I still can't stop crying and had to return a call my dad left me all sobby. Blah.
  • 3babybeans
    3babybeans Posts: 8,268 Member
    I'm so sorry. :frown: I had a cat that was 1 1/2 die a few years ago very suddenly one night. It just isn't something you expect with an animal that is so young. *hugs*
  • staceyw37
    staceyw37 Posts: 2,094 Member
    i'm so very sorry for your loss. i agree with kristi and memaw and others--this is a hard thing to go thru, and people do think of you...
    i'll be thinking loving things for you and cubby (my mis-typed chubby)
  • sassiebritches
    sassiebritches Posts: 1,861 Member
    I am sorry to hear about your loss. I too have lost loved ones of the furry sort.......it is very difficult...hang in there and remember that she is not hurting anymore...and that is a great thing....

    Be strong and hang tough

    :flowerforyou: :heart: :flowerforyou: :heart:

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  • wwwtheselion11
    wwwtheselion11 Posts: 422 Member
    I actually lost a great friend to breast cancer. May she rest in piece. Miss you an love you
  • my_gatorgirl_8
    my_gatorgirl_8 Posts: 125 Member
    I am so sorry for your loss, I know what your going thru, I had to have my 18 year old cat put down about 6 months ago, he slept with me every night, and sat on my lap every day....I miss him so much still, but it has gotten easier, you'll always keep them in your heart along with great memories, my heart goes out to you. ♥️

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