Dealing with stress while attempting to lose weight

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Ready4Change07
Ready4Change07 Posts: 19 Member
in Motivation and Support
I am VERY recently separated. I have 2 children and one of them is a special needs child. I work nights & Lord knows the stress is piling up!!! I have lost a total of 71 pounds during my weight loss journey with 34 left until I reach my goal weight. However, I am an emotional eater & definitely having some craving issues right now!!!! Anyone else struggling with the same thing? Oh and yes. I have been to a great dr and I am taking care of my emotional needs during this time, as emotional/mental health is just as important as physical. Just battling some cravings demons (you know, the i wanna sit down and watch a chick flick with a pint of ice cream type of thing). Advice/support/ and venting is welcome!

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  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,442 Member
    edited March 2020
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    For cravings, I have two strategies.

    If it's a smaller calorie item, I just make some adjustments and add it in.

    If it's a bigger calorie item (Ben & Jerry's The Tonight Dough, one pint 1280 calories), I tell myself I can have it on Friday - or some other day that is about 5-6 days away. I eat a little lighter for those 5-6 days to make room for it, and have a maintenance calorie day that day. Most of the time, by the time my planned day arrives, I'm not even craving that item anymore.

    My "diet" calorie days are about 1750 calories, and my maintenance is about 2400 calories. Knowing my maintenance calorie number was a huge lifesaver for me. If I slipped and ate 2000 calories with a 1750 calorie goal, I used to beat myself up and allow it to derail me big time. Now that I know that anything under 2400 calories is still a deficit, I don't even worry about it. I'll still lose, just more slowly.
  • Ready4Change07
    Ready4Change07 Posts: 19 Member
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    thank you so much!!! :) that’s actually a great way to think of it. knowing a maintenance number. especially if i decide to have a ‘cheat’ or just a day where the stress gets the best of me and i fall off the bandwagon a bit.
  • sjonathans
    sjonathans Posts: 12 Member
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    Right there with you, recently separated on the way to divorce, 2 kids, 1 on the path of testing for several learning disabilities. I am using my...anger? rage? need/want for vengeance? as a building block of will power to keep to my goals. It doesn't always work, and I allow myself those days, but never two in a row. So far its def helping. Feel free to friend me/message me :smile:
  • Ready4Change07
    Ready4Change07 Posts: 19 Member
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    @sjonathans i will definitely add you! i wish you the best luck on your journey! My son has autism and it can be exhausting. especially working nights and sometimes running on an entire weekend of work and childcare on a combined total of maybe 10 hours of sleep. if im lucky lol. definitely doesnt aid in the weight loss
  • Versicolour
    Versicolour Posts: 7,164 Member
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    I came here to write a very similar post.

    I am divorced for nearly 3 years and it was a very abusive relationship. I am nearly 40, have no career and my studies have failed thanks to the university messing up. I don't even know what I want to do and I can't live off my parents forever.
    My oldest has Aspergers and my ex is constantly trying to derail his treatment because money is more important. My youngest also has to go in for an evaluation and I really can't face more fights.
    All the while, I am eating comfort food and hating myself for my lack of will power to stick to a simple diet (that the dietician gave me years ago). The only exercise I get is karate.
    I am just so tired of being a mess and I don't see a way out of this mess
  • Ready4Change07
    Ready4Change07 Posts: 19 Member
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    @Versicolour i am so sorry for all you are going through! i think many people forget that for so many of us weight gain happens due to stoke intense stress. thank you for the add and i look forward to us keeping one another motivated through these tough times in our life
  • MichelleMcKeeRN
    MichelleMcKeeRN Posts: 450 Member
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    For a substitute, I like frozen berries with milk blended up.
    As an alternative, I like to walk or bike ride to distance myself from temptation.
    Maybe these things will help you too?
  • mkculs13
    mkculs13 Posts: 617 Member
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    If you haven
    Versicolour wrote: »
    I came here to write a very similar post.

    I am divorced for nearly 3 years and it was a very abusive relationship. I am nearly 40, have no career and my studies have failed thanks to the university messing up. I don't even know what I want to do and I can't live off my parents forever.
    My oldest has Aspergers and my ex is constantly trying to derail his treatment because money is more important. My youngest also has to go in for an evaluation and I really can't face more fights.
    All the while, I am eating comfort food and hating myself for my lack of will power to stick to a simple diet (that the dietician gave me years ago). The only exercise I get is karate.
    I am just so tired of being a mess and I don't see a way out of this mess

    To you and the OP--I've been in your shoes, and I'm going to list a few things that helped me deal with the stress. I'm not a stress eater; in fact, the more I stress, the less I eat--to the point where it was unhealthy. But stress alone is so counterproductive to maintaining good health that dealing with it is essential. And maybe if I can give you something to help with your stress, you won't need to stress eat. Also, I've raised 2 special needs kids and work as a special ed teacher, so I understand your challenges.

    The single most important thing is sleep. I'd encourage you both to focus on that first--seeing and MD to talk about it if you think you need to, and developing a plan to make sure you get the sleep you need at least 90% of the time. If that means getting respite care on weekends, do it. Your child/children will be ok--it does not always have to be you. Others are able and willing to help. Crisis at school? Let the professionals handle it. What happens at school needs to be resolved at school--get an advocate to help (and their services are free through many organizations, esp. groups around Autism Spectrum Disorders). Also know that no single experience, and not even a season of experience, will create irreversible "damage." With time and patience, anything that can be healed, will be healed. Especially with kids.

    Second, start getting cognitive behavioral therapy, or at least learn about it and start practicing it yourself. Put VERY simply, this means learning to recognize that your thoughts are what is creating your stress, not the events in your life. Almost nothing is as bad as we let ourselves think it is. Learning to reframe my experiences in ways that are helpful to me is perhaps the single most important thing I've ever learned.

    I hope something in here is helpful. Happy to answer questions if I'm not clear--message me. And if my info is useless to you, please ignore it.

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