Ex's are EFFd up!

Jade_Butterfly
Jade_Butterfly Posts: 2,963 Member
edited October 2 in Chit-Chat
Okay I don't know why my ex has to be eff'd up. . .I tried to have a civil converation tonight. . didn't work. . So now, I shouldn't be, but I am in tears. . .I don't want the A***le. . . done get me wrong. . it is just we have a kid together. . And he is still mentally Eff'd up!

Replies

  • Missevanston
    Missevanston Posts: 361 Member
    FACE YOUR STUFF...DON'T STUFF YOUR FACE...

    You will get through this too...you can't fix him...so work on you..and keep your beautiful daughter safe...xx
  • Emilyas1
    Emilyas1 Posts: 9
    You've already broken up with him, so you're ahead of a lot of other people. The best thing you can do is move to another state and talk to this person as little as you can. You and your kid will be a lot better for it in the long run.
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
    UGH ... crazy exes are the suck. I'm sorry!
  • thegymbunny
    thegymbunny Posts: 602 Member
    ex's are ex's for a reason.

    My ex is the most condescending arrogant *kitten* to walk. But life goes on. We're both committed to raising our children in harmony..

    as hard as that can be.

    Take care of yourself and forget about that weiner!
  • KeepOnMoving
    KeepOnMoving Posts: 383 Member
    I am a slow learner, been divorce for over 5 years, I still forget that my ex will never be civil with me unless he wants something. I can still dream. But if he was civil with me, we would still be married. But that will always be impossible -with him anyway.

    Hang in there, honey! It gets easier with time!
  • thegymbunny
    thegymbunny Posts: 602 Member
    You've already broken up with him, so you're ahead of a lot of other people. The best thing you can do is move to another state and talk to this person as little as you can. You and your kid will be a lot better for it in the long run.

    Unless the father is a terrible father, she probably cannot leave the state.
  • jknops2
    jknops2 Posts: 171 Member
    Yes, hang in there. Just had a talk with my stepson about his "real dad". What can you say, life is not easy, but go with the flow. We will figure it out eventually, I hope.
  • KENNY1957
    KENNY1957 Posts: 89 Member
    Pssstttt......set your OWN Boundries and limits first..............go buy the book CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE SOUL!...WE'LL HELP YOU LOSE THE POUNDS!
    :smile:
  • farrellb2
    farrellb2 Posts: 120
    not necessarily, it's if she or the ex has it written into the custodial agreement that he/she has to be stay living within so many miles of the child or other parent- that's what my mom had to do with my dad so she knew that he wouldn't get up and leave on us 3 kids
  • banjobaby
    banjobaby Posts: 46 Member
    sounds alot like my life! my ex and i have a kid together and he is a piece of work! i've never met someone so hateful and vengeful. all i can say is that you have to concentrate on yourself and your child. unfortunately our jerkface exes aren't probably going anywhere (at least mine isn't) but i refuse to let him ruin my day (or life or anything else) anymore. keep your head up and do whatever you can to feel good about yourself and your life. also, taking an exercise class where you can pretend to punch him doesn't hurt either :)
  • Autumn15
    Autumn15 Posts: 213
    Same boat here...you just have to take it one day at a time and try your best to shake it off. Vent when you can't take anymore and then start over. X's don't change and unfortunetly when there are children involved getting divorced doesn't give you real freedom from their crap or the crap of what ever flavor of the month they are with. Just do your best to work on you and your happiness and protect your little one. Best wishes...
  • KnottyNCrotchety
    KnottyNCrotchety Posts: 442
    You've already broken up with him, so you're ahead of a lot of other people. The best thing you can do is move to another state and talk to this person as little as you can. You and your kid will be a lot better for it in the long run.

    No matter how bad the relationship is between the adults, it is rarely in the childs best interests to have a child talk as little as possible to a parent. The child will slowly realize as they mature and grow that one of their parents is possibly not as awesome as the other one, but it has to be something that the child comes to on their own. When a parent tries to "show" a child how "awful" the other parent is it usually backfires on them.

    Jade, I know this is really hard, I deal with it often myself. Even though the relationship is over, and in some cases looooooooong over, we still have emotional triggers and sore spots that our ex can set off so easily. It helps me to remember that the only reason I am interacting with this person any more is for the sake of my children. And I will do ANYTHING for my kids, so I put on my big girl panties, paste on a smile and try very, very hard to remain mature and act like an adult no matter what is going on inside my head. The less you react to the button pushing, the less fun it is to do and the less often it happens. Its like dealing with toddlers, consistency and calm win the day every time.
  • Jade_Butterfly
    Jade_Butterfly Posts: 2,963 Member
    Thank you everyone for your kind words. . Sorry for my use of profanity. . My exhusband. . . definitely is an ex for a reason. . I have been divorced 11 years. . .

    I am one of those people that wants to see the good in everyone. . . and every situation. . I keep thinking that one day he will heal and change, but that is not the case. . He is still very angry and bitter about life. . .I really wish he would seek out and get some therapy. . .

    As far as my daughter she has never known him and it is best that way. . . :smile:
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